I'm at the mall to shop for books, unfortunately the shop i'm buying at ran out of paper bag to put my books in. I'm in a hurry so i got no choice but to carry them by myself. I can tell that this day won't go on my way.. when someone bumped me and that made my books fall on the floor.

Wow just wow. 

“shhhit” I hissed.

I didn't care to look up to see who it is.. All i care about is my books. Oh my gosh what if they got damaged? My precious babies i just bought them.. I'm kind of a bookworm so I really treasure them a lot.

“Sorry.. sorry.” The person bumped me said.

This voice.. It sounds familiar. It stopped me from what I am doing. 

No, this can’t be it can't be him.. I tried my best not to be obvious that I'm hiding my face from him. Oh gosh if I am right that this is him.. This is totally a bad day!

"Y/N?? is that you?" He asked.. trying to get a look on my face.

He recognized me so there's no way I can escape from this. I have no choice.. Do I look fine? I am a mess right now.. seriously is this really happening!? I want to slap my face

but I can't do that of course, it'll make me look crazy.

Okay.. Just act cool. Inhale.. Exhale.

I faced him.

"Hey? Yoongi-ah??" I responsed as if i'm okay about this whole situation. 

"It's been so long since we met each other.. How are you doing?" He said and now he's smiling.. 

We're having an eye contact.. I must stay calm. 

Heart suddenly beats fast.. His gummy smile.. it's one of my weakness when it comes to Min Yoongi.. my ex.

"I'm good.. How bout you?" I said swallowing the tears that's about to come out in any minute.

"I'm fine. It looks like you shopped for books again. You bought a lot, would you mind if I will help you?" He offered.

If i let him help me , I'm not sure if I can handle the pain that's been hidden inside me for the past few years. 

"Uhmm.. It is okay. I can do it by myself." I said then bit my lower lip. 

"Oh.. You're lying. I know you too well. You bite your lips when you lie." He said with small smile.

I did not think about that. He's fully aware that I can't do this by myself.

Oh Gosh..

SCREW ME.. WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE THIS. IM CRYING INSIDE.. HE CAN STILL REMEMBER THIS THINGS ABOUT ME..

"Okay.. I'm caught." I said giving up. Okay, All i need to do now is to get my together and not cry out loud infront of him.

He smiled and I am flattered inside because of that smile. 

We had a little awkwardness while walking.. There's so many things that are unsaid between us. 

Finally, we reached our destination and he helped me to put the books inside my car.

"So yeah.. Thank you." I said. 

"No problem.." He said with a smile that looks like a fake one.

A silence and awkwardness occured. Both of us are acting awkward. I can't stand this anymore.. I'm about to breakdown if I stayed longer with him. I know it's appropriate but I want to hug him.

"Uhm again thank you.. I kinda need to go now. I guess we'll see each other around again.." I said lying again. I'm trying so hard not to bit my lips but I just can't help it. I turned my back and about to open my car when a hand grabbed me and pull me into a hug. 

"Y/N.. can we talk?" He asked with a voice that sounds like crying.

"Is there something we need to talk about?" I answered, trying to free myself from his arms but he's too strong.

I know there's a lot of things that need to be said,

The pain that I felt after leaving him came back.. 

"Yes.. there is a lot I want to ask you. There's a lot of things I want to clear. Let's get inside your car first" He said.

I'm about to cry. It's been 2 years already so I don't have a clue why this pain demands to be felt again.

He opened the car door for me.. My legs are feeling weak. He caught me before I collapse on the ground. 

"Are you okay?" He said looking worried.

No, I'm not. All the sadness I felt in the past came back..I shouldn't be the one feeling miserable since I am the one who left him, but why.. Why am I like this?

He helped me get inside the car.. There's a moment of silence again. It seems like the both of us are not sure how to start the conversation.

"Y/N.. I know this is too much to answer but till now this question hunts me. I need an answer. Why did you leave me?" He asked calmly.

I'm looking down i can't face him. This is all my fault. I'm ashamed of what I've done. 

It took me a moment before I had a nerve to answer.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"  I asked. Yoongi is very impatient and I know that very well, with my dumb answer I expect  that he'll get mad.

But I'm surprised that He is still calm..

He pulled my chin up so we are facing each other.. My eyes are still looking down because if I look into his eyes I know that I will cry.. 

"Please Yoongi.. Can't we just forget about the things that happened in the past." I said already sobbing.

"How can you expect me to forget you or the things that happened if you left me with unanswered questions? Did you know that I suffered a lot because of you?

\Did you know that I almost gave up my dreams because of you?" He said raising his voice.

"Of course I didn't know that and I don't want to know that.. because i thought that if i leave you that will be the best for you." I said.. crying..

"Then why? Why did you leave me!?"

"Yoongi.. I want you to achieve your goals in life. I want you to focus on things that are important to you. That's why i left you.. even though i know it will be hard for me, it is okay as long as you're doing the things that make you happy."

"So you thought leaving me can make me happy!? WHAT A STUPID IDEA!!" 

Yes, It really is a stupid idea but that help you now.. 

"YOU KNOW THIS INDUSTRY YOONGI! YOU THINK THEY WILL ALLOW YOU TO BECOME POPULAR OR TO BE IN A BOY GROUP IF THEY KNOW YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!? AND I DONT WANT TO BE A DISTRACTION! SO NOW LOOK AT YOU , I'M ALREADY PROUD OF YOU... TO SEE YOU PERFORM AND MAKE MUSIC.. TO SEE YOU DOING THE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE MAKES ME THINK THAT MY PAIN IS ACTUALLY WORTH IT.."

I am now crying so hard.

"I KNOW THAT VERY WELL.. BUT I NEVER THOUGHT OF LEAVING YOU. THATS WHY IM VERY SURPRISED WHEN THAT DAY CAME WHEN YOU SAID YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME! Y/N I NEVER CONSIDERED YOU AS A DISTRACTION.. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION. YOU BECAME ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I WANT TO WORK HARD." He said.

I still have feelings for him.. but it's too late now, isn't it?

"Yoongi.. It's all in the past now. You are now happy and living the life so it will make no sense even if we fight right now." I said feeling defeated. 

"No.. who told you i'm happy? I feel incomplete without you. Since you've been gone, i've never been truly happy.. And you know what it makes sense.. Because after all the damage you've done I still want you back.." He said trying to pull me into a hug.

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