it’s either the atmosphere of the building, the combination of hormones mixed with alcohol and sweat or the fact jaebum had a very very attractive person slide up to him and immediately taken up residence against his body, but he was becoming looser with his movements. fluid even, and his hands rested on the hips that were grinding against him.

“hey.” jaebum breathed out against the stranger’s ear, their neck dotted with sweat and there’s a hint of cologne that had been dabbed on in the early evening. he also detects something else, something jaebum knows, but it’s on the tip of his tongue and he can’t name it. 

“mm, hey...” was the response, their voice pleasing and soothing, a polar opposite from the bass pounding through the room. arms wrapped around jaebum’s neck, and lips brushed against his cheek. the very movement, innocent as opposed to their crotches pushing together, “what’s your name?”

the dj was drowning out the bass as jaebum’s hands moved to the plump , squeezing, “im jaebum, and you are?”

“im jaebum.” the stranger repeats, nearly purring out his name, reaching to pry one of his hands off of his backside. “im jaebum, then...” he suddenly breaks his body apart from jaebum, but still holding onto his arm.

it’s the first time jaebum sees him fully, in a cramped club with colours constantly splashing his body. he is undeniably attractive - y, even with how the little bit of kohl that had been smudged as if he had rubbed it too hard, near his eyes. there’s crusted sweat that’s caked on his forehead, and little bits of red on the delightfully plump lips that brushed against jaebum’s cheek. 

“im jaebum.” he coos again, and jaebum’s not sure how his voice can pierce through the near deafening thrum of music with space between them. his hand squeezes jaebum’s before he asks, “run away with me.”

he wasn’t sure if he was hearing properly. the music had come full stop with a screech, around the two peoples heads were turning and there were questions coming from all angles. questions that were met with no answer turned into annoyed huffs until glass shattered in the distance. proceeding that were screams, shouts, and jaebum didn’t know if it was himself forming the word yes or an outside force.

the strangers lips curled upwards into a grin, and the next thing jaebum knew it he was running through the thickets of the now panicking crowd. he heard more shouts, and jaebum was just about to turn his head to see the direction they were coming from, but his attention quickly fell back onto the one in front of him. they had squeezed his hand more harshly, and now there’s tingles shooting through jaebum’s arms.

jaebum suddenly feels cold air blast him in the face, and he thinks time must of sped up because there was no logical explanation they had reached outside in that short of time. their pace stopped, a school of people still swarming around them, one occasionally telling them to move. 

“jinyoung.” they finally speak up, jaebum snapping back from their surroundings and over to the other. “my name’s jinyoung.” there’s a soft smile on his face as they begin to walk at a leisurely pace through the dispersing crowd, acting as if there wasn’t chaos just around them a few moments before.

as if they were taking a stroll through the late autumns night down the streets of hongdae, hand in hand.

jaebum doesn’t know why he’s doing this. jinyoung was foreign to him, someone who had literally come up to him, ground on for half of a song (maybe longer?) before taking him by the hand. 

but he’s comfortable, despite the little hairs on his arms standing on end and beads of sweat clinging to his body, freezing. it feels natural, as if he had been wandering with jinyoung time and time again. in another life maybe he had been, towards the gates of their school or perhaps into the ocean. 

“jinyoung...” jaebum tastes the name, and there’s a definite familiarity in his mouth when he says the name. like he really had known this person before. maybe he had, as a child, but when jinyoung abruptly pulls him into a smaller side street he decides what the sudden feeling hits him is deja vu.

even more so when jinyoung grabs onto the front of jaebum’s shirt and pulls him in for a kiss.

jaebum’s lips easily meld with jinyoung, and he’s snaking his hand around jinyoung’s neck to deepen it. jinyoung’s taste is like the first ice pop of the blazing hot summer, with iron in the background, and jaebum wants to keep on having more. 

jinyoung’s hands resting on his chest, fingers having uncurled, he tilts his head as jaebum’s tongue is taking in every last bit of his mouth. 

but they’re parting too early for each others liking, jaebum gulping in large lungfuls of air and he can see the smattering of pink against a shadowed face. jinyoung’s smiling though, as he takes a step back, and there’s a split second where jaebum thinks he’s going to run away and disappear into the darkness. 

instead, jinyoung’s standing there with his hand out, palm facing upwards, the gentle smile remaining. “run with me, jaebum-ah.” his voice is sweet, and jaebum doesn’t need to question if his hearing’s going this time.

there’s rapid but heavy steps that are getting closer. this time, jaebum doesn’t hesitate or question himself when he blurts out okay and curls his hand around jinyoung’s tightly. the way jinyoung’s eyes light up, jaebum swears it’s like seeing the stars out in the countryside coming out for the first time. 

jaebum’s the one to lead them this time, through narrow alleyways and side streets where frost is taking it’s hold on leftover puddles from the days rain. it’s cold, their breath reducing to clouds as they run, and jaebum doesn’t know where they’re going but he doesn’t mind. just for tonight, jaebum doesn’t care where his legs are taking him.

jinyoung’s matching his pace, making sure his grip never slips, and this is definitely something jaebum knows. it’s like a practiced routine what they were doing, running through neighbourhoods with lungs burning and thighs aching, begging to stop. 

they only slow once they reach a main street, and jinyoung pulls him towards a set of stairs leading underground. they go down at a slow jog, jaebum not bothering to ask where they’re going.

he can trust jinyoung.

they hop the gates, disregarding the fact that there were others and transit workers around. they got shouted at, and that just made jinyoung burst out in a fit of giggles before they were running again from an older transit worker and onto a subway. 

jaebum doesn’t know if it’s dumb luck or impeccable time, because he’s watching the face of a very disgruntled and underpaid worker through the windows of the subway as it begins to move south. jinyoung’s still laughing, hand wriggling out of jaebum’s grasp to cover his mouth, and jaebum can’t help but join in as the two collapse onto a bench. 

jinyoung settles down as jaebum takes in their surroundings. the cart was sparsely populated, a few very late night workers returning home and a scuzzy looking fellow.

“stay with me.” 

jinyoung’s hooking his arm with jaebum’s, leaning against and resting his head on jaebum’s shoulder, eyes slipping shut. jaebum’s eyes flick down to their hands, he lets himself smile, and slips his fingers through jinyoung’s. at that, a content sigh came from in between jinyoung’s lips as he squeezed.

“i will.” 

a few hours later they were on a different train heading to the south end of the country, jaebum’s earrings clinking together as the train sped down worn tracks and jinyoung swayed with each gentle curve. like the subway earlier, it was rather empty, only another couple like themselves sitting a few seats ahead. 

they sat mostly in silence, each others presence enough to endure the train ride. 

jinyoung had nervously began to play with jaebum’s fingers, a habit jinyoung had formed sometime long ago and could never break. he glanced over at the younger, finding him staring dead ahead, tearing at a loose flap of skin on his bottom lip, brows bunched together creating little wrinkles across his forehead.

he was worrying.

there were a bunch of thoughts swarming about his mind, jaebum knew that, and he leaned in to press a soothing kiss to the others cool cheek. 

“it’s okay.” jaebum whispered as reassuringly as he could manage.

it seemed to do the trick for the moment jinyoung’s body relaxing and he was smiling, head turning down and brushing this thumb along jaebum’s knuckles.

but then suddenly his head shot up, jaebum taken aback and blinking in confusion. 

“let’s go.” jinyoung was saying standing up and tugging on jaebum with a sense of urgency. the sound of heels and boots against the train’s aisle echoed through the train cart, and jaebum didn’t have a chance to find the source before jinyoung pulled on him hard, making him stumble out of his seat and to the exit. 

the train came to an abrupt halt, making the two’s balance falter and nearly go tumbling down. but jinyoung gripped onto a pole, breathing heavily as he supported them both and tried to regain his footing.

(hyung!)

jaebum paused just as jinyoung slammed the emergency exit button for the doors, wanting to escape. 

(hyung, please!)

jaebum was given no opportunity to linger around and listen to the voice, the way it sounded desperate, footsteps louder and jinyoung dragging him out of the cart. 

cold wind slapped him in the face as he was taken along a field full of wheat and long grass, his heart racing as the smell of the sea grew stronger. 

jinyoung’s cheeks were red from the cold, his breathing shaking as their run came to a slow trot, and then finally they were wading though the plant life. 

the sky was turning a lighter shade of blue, stars were retreating behind the cover of clouds and others were fading. the moon was sinking in the sky, and the scent of sea salt became more prominent, and the train behind them was fading in the distance. 

the two were alone again, and jinyoung released jaebum as they came to the sudden drop of land. 

peering over the edge, he found the unruly ocean with it’s was smashing against the cliff. a shiver ran through his body as the spray of the water got him, combined with the wind and fear suddenly grabbing at him. 

(...please please please.)

the voice was on the verge of breaking as it pleaded, and jaebum tilted his head to look over at jinyoung to confirm it wasn’t him speaking. it definitely wasn’t, with how jinyoung was watching the way the waves bent to the wind’s brute strength and bubbled. his eyes were closing, chest rising and falling as he took deep breaths. in through the nose, out through the mouth. 

“hyung!”

nothing was holding jaebum back from looking over his shoulder this time, jinyoung doing the same.

this time, jinyoung in took a sharp breath, and held it as jaebum’s eyes widened.

“hyung please don’t go.” 

youngjae was stumbling over to them, tears and snot running down his scratched face as if he had tripped many times running after the two. he was clutching his side where the torn black hoodie revealed a gash that had long stopped leaking, and ugly bruise forming around it, but he was holding it out of habit. his cracked lips opened to make jaebum’s name, but nothing came out.

“youngjae...?” jaebum went to make a move, but jinyoung grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, letting out the breath he had been holding on. 

the two stared at each other, jaebum’s eyes still wide and filled with panic and jinyoung’s with fear. the twinkling from earlier had died, and jinyoung was shaking his head, arm starting to tremble. his lips were moving, trying to form words, but there wasn’t any sound save for youngjae’s sobbing the wind carried. 

“i’m sorry.”

jinyoung’s hand dropped, there was a split second where jaebum saw his eyes turn glassy, and there was a pain in his chest as jinyoung closed them. “it’s...okay. it’s fine.” his voice was on the verge of breaking, “it would be for best if you didn’t come...i’m being too selfish...” jinyoung was putting himself behind others. like he had always done. 

“jinyoung-ah...” jaebum went to take his hand, but jinyoung pulled away.

“i shouldn’t of dragged you along. you don’t deserve this.” his eyes were open, and he was still doing his best not to burst out into a fit of tears. “go on, jaebum-ah. go back to youngjae. we’ll see each other in the next one, okay?” 

*

“mark!” 

a voice with a deep register was shouting, echoing through the halls, and shoe soles were squeaking along the white tiled floors. 

jaebum’s head was pounding as his eyes opened a crack, being met with a blurry yet blinding white light. scratch that, his entire being hurt, but the pain was centered in his head, and it took a moment to realize that there was a shadow blocking the light now. he went to speak, but only a croak came out, throat parched and entire mouth dry.

“hyung? hyung! you...you’re awake this time, right?” 

oh.

that was youngjae. 

“jae...” he tried again this time, eyes opening more, vision focusing in on the boy hovering a top of him. “hey.”

youngjae’s lips were curling up into one of the biggest smiles jaebum has ever seen, and he immediately shot away to go press the nurses button. jaebum wanted to laugh as he tilted his to the side, wincing at the sharp pain shooting through his upper neck, but nothing came out. instead he watched youngjae press the button once more for good measure before dropping himself into the seat by jaebum.

“oh my god, i can barely believe it. this is real, isn’t it? if it’s not, don’t pinch me. i don’t wanna wake up.” 

*

a couple of days later after much fussing, jaebum was sitting more upright in his bed. he was still connected to many drips and fluids were almost constantly being pumped into his body, but his headache was a bit better now, at least.

youngjae had been dropping by, often bringing hospital chicken porridge with him, and tended to blabber on about his life and the recent happenings. jaebum was fine with that, allowing youngjae to fill him in on what happened to warrant him landing in the hospital with a head injury and how he had been out for a few days. 

a motorcycle accident, apparently, and youngjae had been careful with his words.

(“i caused it, didn’t i?”

youngjae didn’t respond.)

today, youngjae was talking about his classes when the nagging thought that occurred to jaebum every other hour came out verbally. “did i know a jinyoung?” 

youngjae stopped, and jaebum stopped mindlessly peering out the window to look at him. he was looking surprised at the question, and a bit confused, brows furrowed. thrown off, even. “no...at least i don’t think you did. you’ve never mentioned one before, anyways. why?” 

oh. so jinyoung must of been a part of the dream jaebum had while he had been gone. “it’s nothing...” he tried to smile despite the overwhelming urge to cry that he really hadn’t known jinyoung at all. “sorry, continue what you were talking about. who’s being a to who in your group project?” 

it’s a moment before youngjae continues his story about ridiculous drama that shouldn’t be happening in university. 

* *

it would be fun, they said.

a pub crawl! c’mon, jinyoungie, that’s what you do in germany! is what they claimed.

and now jinyoung was sprawled on the couch of the hostel’s common room, head throbbing and wishing he could say no to jackson. it gave him a bit of comfort knowing that jackson, and mark by extension, were in the same position as him, but on their beds. 

the only reason jinyoung was on the couch was that he made a half assed plan to drag himself out of bed and go to the coffee shop at the end of the block. he didn’t make it too far before his bodies whining won and he ended up in the worn cushions. having coffee, he decided, opting to shut his eyes in an attempt to sleep.

at least it was the middle of the day, meaning most of the hostel’s guests were out.

most, being key, because now jinyoung’s legs were gently being nudged and he instinctively curled them up. he really wanted to tell them off and that there were plenty of different places to sit so there no reason to be sitting by a very clearly miserable and hung over person. 

“hey.” they spoke gently, their voice deep and if jinyoung didn’t know any better, he would swear his heart stopped. “do you think you could get up? i got you a coffee. a little bit of milk and sugar, which you like, right?” 

jinyoung shoots up, now knowing his heart beat was going spastic as he stared wide eyes at the other man on the couch with him. in his hands are two tall paper cups, and his smile is mirroring the tone of voice he had been speaking in. soft and warm. 

“im jaebum.”

jaebum’s smile grows as he scoots closer, jinyoung’s feet hitting the carpeted floor. “and i found you this time, park jinyoung.” he was saying, leaning in, passing the coffee cup to jinyoung as jaebum brushed his lips against jinyoung’s.