Backstage: where the lights are dimmed, there’s the flurry and rush and noise from every corner. Sounds that reverberate from the loud stage, voices calling at everyone to hurry. A loud leader yelling for certain people; for them. The ones curled up in the darkest corner, sighing.

Donghae’s caressing the bottom of his cheek as his tongue drags lazily over his lips. Hyukjae shudders and tries his best to not whine under so much desire. His hand is clinging to the front of Donghae’s shirt, peeling it away from his drenched body. They’re both in dire need of a change but the video in between their stages is still playing. They know their cues. They know how much time they have left. And when Donghae deepens the kiss and actually draws out a desperately loud moan from Hyukjae? The kiss falters, breathing intermingled and Donghae pushes himself away leaving Hyukjae breathless and confused as to where he is. Who he is. Who he’s supposed to be.

“Yah! Hyukjae! Leeteuk is ing furious! Get yourself out of that stupid little world and get your into the next outfit!”

Hyukjae didn’t know who it was that called after him. He just knew he had to gather his wits and hurry backstage and change. He noticed Donghae hurry out of the changing room as soon as he had opened the door. Like nothing had happened. Like there was nothing with them besides their stage personas. The ones who get too dangerously close to each other only to be pulled apart by the rest. The ones who make the fans scream louder than anything. That is Eunhyuk. It’s time for Eunhyuk right now.

==

“I love you.” It’s a ragged word. A hurtful word.

It’s hurtful because Hyukjae knows that Donghae just says it to appease him.  But he gets so lost with it all.

The way Donghae says it while on top of him, breathing against his neck, on the verge of that . It drags something else from Hyukjae. He Donghae’s hair as he himself is spent and waiting for Donghae’s release. A few sharp s, groans, curses and Donghae all but becomes one with Hyukjae as he comes into the inside of him.

Donghae rolls off of him, gets rid of the pesky contraption, cleans himself and lays on his back. Breaths heavy and his face blissed out before he passes out for the the night. He feels Hyukjae squirm his way closer to him; wrap his arms around his bare chest. Donghae’s smile is small as he pats at Hyukjae’s head. “You did well.”

Hyukjae chuckles, “it is a team event, you know?”

Donghae laughs and breathes deeply enough to drag himself away into his slumber leaving Hyukjae alone with his thoughts.

“You don’t love me. Don’t lie to yourself or worse, me.”

==

“What is your ideal type of woman, Donghae?”

Zhou Mi laughs, Henry snickers on the side. The rest wait for the translator to finish translating for them. Kyuhyun joins Henry in his snickering. Sungmin sighs and Ryeowook simply looks amused. Siwon is missing from their little group, the one barrier to filter as much Donghae as possible. Eunhyuk’s eyes tentatively turn to look at Donghae whose smile has broadened slightly.

“Ideal type?” He asked and the hosts nodded and hummed.

Eunhyuk fiddled with his jacket, fixed his hat and felt the touch from behind him. It was Kyuhyun, of course. It was always Kyuhyun. Hyukjae was grateful.

“I’m really picky!” Donghae laughed. “But I really enjoy the company of someone who can deal with all of my moods. Someone who doesn’t expect much from my company but just goes along with everything that life drags along for us.”

“Sounds like you already have a someone!” A female host states. The translator does her job and everyone laughs.

“Who would put up with me?”

Kyuhyun’s hold on Hyukjae tightens. Eunhyuk’s smile is soft for the camera. The mask holds strong.

“It’s my perfect crush! You know, we can dream of them! Work is long and tiring and at the end of the day, it would be nice to just have someone to relax with on the couch. Watching something and laughing at whatever it is that we’re watching. But that’s not something for me right now.”

“Alright, we understand.” The subject is dropped and the hosts speak in rapid Mandarin to which Zhou Mi laughs at and answers at the same speed.

Donghae’s smile in unphased and Hyukjae is trying to keep his mask on. It’s what the two of them do on an almost daily basis.

==

Zhou Mi’s laughter echoes throughout the living room. Donghae has made another stupid joke and Kyuhyun simply walks away from the conversation shaking his head.

“How are you?” Kyuhyun asks Hyukjae who is poking at his desert.

“Hnn?”

“Food is usually meant for consumption. You haven’t really left your spot since we all finished.” Kyuhyun sat directly in front of him, grabbing another spoon and joining Hyukjae in the battle against the evil pudding.

It’s long moments of silence filled with nothing but literal destruction of food that was perfectly consumable, quiet little moments that let Hyukjae know who his friends are.

“I don’t know what to do about him anymore.”

“And you’re not doing a very good job at hiding that anymore.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know you are.”

Donghae’s laughter startles the two. Hyukjae sets his spoon down and goes to hide in his room for the night.

==

The shows are long and the language barrier is strong. Kyuhyun can pick up every other word and noods in mild understanding while the rest of the group besides Henry and Zhou Mi can do nothing but look helpless as Zhou Mi’s bright smile carries them entirely during this brief backstage interview. It’s a new album, a new routine they’ve been trying to perfect for endless hours. They’re getting older but it doesn’t deter them from their jobs. From being the ones they have put out there for over a decade.

Donghae drapes an arm over Eunhyuk’s shoulder and they both laugh at the camera as Zhou Mi translates something for them. “It’s hard but our teamwork makes it all worth it!” Donghae’s voice is bright and the rest of the group agree. Hyukjae feels Zhou Mi’s hand curl up against his and they squeeze together as Zhou Mi continues with the interview. Hyukjae gathers his strength from everyone else during tough times.

They introduce themselves on stage. Most with broken Mandarin but brightened spirits. They are here for the fans, after all. There’s a few screw ups here and there. Most are laughed off and most they get glared at by Kyuhyun because they “should know better by now.”

“This is our newest song, thank you so much for giving us your love. We are Super Junior-M!” Eunhyuk is extremely energetic and they sing ‘til their hearts are content. The applause is loud and they leave the stage reluctantly.

Eunhyuk is the last one to join everyone in the backstage waiting room. Everyone is barely left alive after those five songs they had to perform. Kyuhyun is sprawled on top of a grumpy Zhou Mi who just wants to take all the selcas to put up on SNS and poor Henry is being weighed down not only by Sungmin but by Ryeowook as well. The three filled with tired laughter as Henry is showing them something stupid in English. Donghae sits alone on his sofa. His shoulders hanging off of the back of it and has is his head leaning back. Eyes closed, a smile on his lips as he hums along to the song they just finished performing.

Donghae feels the dip of the couch when Hyukjae sits next to him. He watches as Hyukjae pulls out his phone and he begins to catch up with all the messages he fell behind on and browses social media for nice pictures from their performance. “Hey.”

“Hmm.”

“Do you see any interesting pictures?” Donghae leans his shoulder against Hyukjae’s.

“There are a few. We all look really cool in this one,” Hyukjae tilts his phone towards Donghae. “And Henry just looks so stupid on this one.”

“Hey!”

“That’s your constant way of being. Shut up, you’re being loud.” Kyuhyun scolds from his comfortable spot of trying to be a hindrance to Zhou Mi.

The group laughs and Donghae gets closer to Hyukjae so that he can have a better view of his phone. Hyukjae is scrolling through the pictures but scrolls fast past a certain one that is clearly a very nice and close angle of the two of them.

“Scroll back up,” Donghae asks quietly. Hyukjae sighs and does so. The two are shaking hands but the delight in their eyes is beyond obvious. It is tagged as “Eunhae” of course and Donghae laughs at it.

“You look great tonight.”

“We can thank the coordinators for that.”

Donghae frowns and leans his head on Hyukjae’s shoulder, a hand on Hyukjae’s thigh caressing it lightly. “You’re being distant.”

Hyukjae shrugs and manages to get Donghae off of him long enough to go find space on his own in the dressing room. But he’s soon followed by Donghae who grabs on to his arm to stop him from going away further.

“What’s wrong, Hyukjae?”

“Stop it. Let’s stop this already, Donghae.”

Donghae sighs and lets go of Hyukjae’s arm. “Did I do something wrong?”

Hyukjae is trying his best to look everywhere but at Donghae. He shakes his head lightly and nearly jumps out of his skin as Donghae pulls his face and more importantly his eyes towards him.

The silence surrounds them. Donghae’s gaze is strong and Hyukjae is trying his best to keep his composure. Time passes. The distance between them becomes smaller with it until Hyukjae feels the softness of Donghae’s lips on his. It’s a tentative kiss that Hyukjae doesn’t reciprocate. But it continues and Donghae’s hands tug lightly at his hip. The kisses change; they become more desperate from Donghae. Hyukjae finally returns them softly. He opens his eyes as he feels the moisture on Donghae’s cheeks. He watches the tears gather and fall. The kiss deepens. Hyukjae tugs on the front of Donghae’s shirt before breaking the kiss.

“Okay.” Hyukjae pulls Donghae into a hug. One that allows Donghae to sob into his shoulders while Hyukjae at his back. Donghae is far too obvious, sometimes. Hyukjae just needs to be assured that Donghae loves him the same way he loves Donghae.

The chatter of the group approaches them. Hyukjae feels Donghae flinch but holds on tightly to him. The rest of the boys pass them, pat at their backs and continue on their way. Kyuhyun is still complaining that Henry is too loud while Zhou Mi just laughs at the absurdity of it all.

“We have to go, Donghae.”

Donghae nods and wipes away the remains of his crying on the sleeve of his shirt. They pull apart from each other but Donghae makes sure to intertwine his hand with Hyukjae’s as they follow along. Donghae leans against Hyukjae’s shoulder once again and mutters something too soft to be fully heard.

“I know. I love you too.”

A/N: Ahhhh! It’s been forever since I’ve written Eunhae! This is angsty af but I really blame Celine Dion’s “In His Touch” that suddenly made me think of this. Hopefully I can go back to updating the ongoing Eunhaes soon D: I hope you’re all doing well! -S