Butterfly

Seokjin knew he needs to do something. He knew it when the first dream came to him.

. . . . . . . . . .

Rays of light could be seen fleeting through the windows, lighten the dark, dull room even for just a bit. He just sat on the edge of the bed, admiring the six white petals that were cupped in his hands. The petals look almost as dull as the room he is in. He couldn’t help but to feel a tug in his heart as he stared intensely at the soft petals in his hands. As if he’s reminiscing something from the past.

He felt as if the petals are his treasured items.

He just couldn’t understand.

‘Where am I? Why am I holding these?’

He felt himself stand up and walked slowly towards the middle of the room. He laid out the petals on the wooden floor. He got up from his crouching position.

Out of nowhere, the petals started to burn up. He saw how the flame ate up the petals one by one. The pure white was gone, substituted by the ashy burnt from the ferocious fire.

A single tear escaped his eyes and he didn’t even notice it.

It hurts.

Seeing the petals being burnt into ashes hurts him. But why…?

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin woke up to a damp pillow. It has been a week since he had the same dream. It was the same dream every time, and each time he would woke up with tears flowed generously from his eyes. He sat on his bed dazedly.

‘What was that?’

It couldn’t be a coincidence for him to engage with the same exact dream for a week.

The six white petals.

What does it represents?

Why do they burn into ashes?

Why am I feeling melancholic over burnt petals?

There are so many questions in his head but he knew he wouldn’t get the answers, at least not yet.

He was cut off from his train of thoughts when he heard few knocks on his bedroom door. Seokjinshouted out ‘Come in’ and the door creaked open. A head peeked through the opened space of the door.  It was his adopted brother, Hoseok,

“Hyung, I’ve made breakf- wait, why do you look so pale? You okay?” Hoseok’s tone was laced in concern. Seokjin only shook his head.

“Nah, just a bad dream. You made breakfast? Let me wash up first.” Seokjin shrugged nonchalantly, trying to brush off the worry in his brother.

Hoseok nodded though worry still etched on his face.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you at the table. Don’t take too long, it’ll get cold.”

“Okay.” Seokjin gave the younger a smile. He saw the look of relief in the younger’s face. Good job, Seokjin.

Once Hoseok was out, Seokjin let out a sigh of relief as he rubbed his face.

Seokjin was sure that the dream he had actually leading him somewhere, especially when he had the second dream. This time it doesn’t involved petals but instead, it involves that one person who he considered as one of the most important people in his life.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was dark. Seokjin was facing a window with Namjoon on the other side. He saw Namjoon stared blankly through the window. Then Namjoon brought his face nearer to the window glass and fogged the surface with his breath vapors. He proceeded to write on the fogged glass with his finger. Namjoon then let out a sigh and walked away.

Seokjin only stared through the glass confusedly.  What did he wrote?

Seokjin went to the spot where Namjoon was at previously. He read through the younger’s faded scribbles.

‘You need to survive’

Seokjin’s breath hitched. He knew. Namjoon knew. But how?

. . . . . . . . . .

After that, he kept getting dreams involving the boys. By then he knew that those are the premonitions. All those in his dreams are the things might have taken place after he is gone.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was white.

All white.

Seokjin walked through the corridor. It didn’t take a genius to know that he’s in the hospital. Well, he should get the hint when he saw a nurse pushing an old man on a wheelchair or he would deemed himself a complete idiot.

Seokjin then entered a room. There he saw Hoseok lying on a bed. He began panicking. What’s wrong with Hoseok?

Then he saw Jimin entered the room. Jimin went nearer to Hoseok. The boy was smiling  as he watched the sleeping boy but the smile somehow didn’t reached his eyes.

Seokjin knew something was off.

Hoseok eyes fluttered open. He smiled as he saw Jimin smiling down at him mischievously. Hoseok then pulled the pillow underneath his head and smacked Jimin with it. Both of them were happily laughing and teasing each other until they somehow felt tired and slumped on the narrow bed side by side. Seokjin chuckled when he saw the two. His worry about Hoseok was forgotten for a split second.

“Yoongi didn’t come?” Hoseok suddenly asked as he glanced towards the younger. Jimin bright smile faltered as he heard the question.

“No, he didn’t…” Jimin hesitantly replied. Hoseok thinned his lips as he nodded in understanding.

“Okay… I understand…”

There was a few seconds of silence before Jimin spoke.

“Why did you do that…?”

Seokjin was puzzled hearing the conversation. Hoseok did what?

Hoseok kept mum. He knew this question will come sooner or later.

“What about Yoongi? He cared about you, you know that? He cried all night because of you.”

Seokjin didn’t know what the conversation was about but he could feel his heart clenched tightly and his eyes blurred in tears. Hoseok kept staring at the ceiling blankly.

“Do you think Seokjin hyung will be happy seeing you like this if he’s alive? Do you…?” Tears were now pooled in Jimin’s eyes.  Hosoeok clenched his fists. He gritted his teeth to contained his anger.

This time Seokjin gasped. What…?

“Shut up! Shut the up Park Jimin!” Hoseok raged. His face was red with anger but Seokjin could see tears cascading the younger’s cheeks.

“We should’ve saved him! We should’ve ing save him! But we did nothing! Nothing I tell you! Goddammit we shouldn’t just left Seokjin hyung in his deathbed struggling with his pain! We should’ve save him!” Hoseok sobbed. By know he was kneeling on the floor.

Jimin kneeled in front of Hoseok, grabbing Hoseok shoulders.

“You know we couldn’t do anything, hyung. The cancer was in its last stage. We couldn’t do anything about it…” Jimin too was sobbing hard.

“But he’s the only one I have, Jimin. He’s the only family I have… God, why I didn’t realized it before…? I should’ve seen that. His face kept getting paler Jimin. He was in pain and I never realized that…”

Jimin hugged the older. He let Hoseok wetting his shirt. That’s the only thing he could do. Then the event before Seokjin blurred. He was again getting into nothingness.

Seokjin was in another location. This time, it was his house, in the bathroom. The tap on the sink was , letting the water flow generously into the sink bowl. He saw Hoseok looked at the mirror blankly. The boy rubbed his pale face as he looked through the mirror. Hoseok then opened the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of medication.

Antidepressant pills.

Seokjin eyes widened when he saw Hoseok dumped a number of the pills into his hand and swallowed them all. Hoseok cupped some water into his hand and drank the liquid. He then turned off the tap and walked out of the bathroom, grabbing his hoodie and put them on before leaving the house.

He didn’t care if the door was left unlocked.

Seokjin was now on a bridge sidewalk. He saw the staggering in Hoseok’s steps as the latter walked and how unfocused the latter’s eyes were. After a few steps, Hoseok’s body seemed to give up as the boy slumped onto the floor, unconscious.

Seokjin screamed in agony. But nobody listen.

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin had lost counts on hiw many times he had woken up to tears and sweats drenched his pillows. But he knew that that's not the end. It was something trying to tell him that he needs to go through all these nightmares in order to save his friends from his own fate.

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin could recognize this place. It's Yoongi's house he rented with Jungkook. He saw how the two housemates were facing each other, tensions built up between them.

"Stop it hyung..." Jungkook started. It was the first time Seokjin saw the maknae looked so tensed. Jungkook tried to grab Yoongi's arm but it was slapped away by the latter.

"Shut up brat! Leave me alone! Leave me alone just like how Hoseok left me! " Yoongi slurred, a green bottle gripped in his hand. Now that explained how the younger ended up in a drunken mess.

There was a hint of sadness in the maknae's eyes. Jungkook didn't give up but instead pulled the older into his embrace.

"Wake up hyung... he's gone. Stop being like this..." The maknae was sobbing on Yoongi's shoulder. Then something triggered in Yoongi. He pushed the maknae hard, causing the younger to be slammed to the wall.

"Shut up! Shut up! He's here! He's not dead. He's still here with me! He's here!" Yoongi shouted hysterically. That makes Jungkook snapped. The boy got up to his feet and landed a fist on Yoongi's face making the other boy stumbled to the floor.

"Get a hold of hourself hyung! He's dead! Hoseok is dead! Get it in your head!" Jungkook shouted. Yoongi seemed like he could accept the fact so he got up and threw a punch causing the maknae to land on the edge of a sofa in the corner of the room. Jungkook groaned in pain. Yoongi then grabbed the wooden chair beside him before throwing it to the mirror not far from the maknae causing the mirror to shatter into pieces. Jungkook could only witness his hyung rampaged.

Yoongi screamed and shouted before he makes an exit to the door, leaving the poor maknae sobbing in his spot. Seokjin could hear the maknae muttered in his sobs before darkness consumed him.

"Seokjin hyung... I need you..."

Seokjin was in a small room with a messy white sheeted bed on his right and a huge window panel on his left. From the window he could see a glimpse of a board with huge letters spelling out ‘MOTEL’ in red. Suddenly someone emerged from the bathroom near the corner of the room.

It was Yoongi.

Seokjin saw how Yoongi dragged his feet while giggling in a slur before plopping himself onto the edge of the messy bed. Yoongi kept playing with the lighter in his hand and Seokjin was worried of what’s going to happened. He knew it wouldn’t end up good. Seokjin was startled when Yoongi stopped giggling, instead he was sobbing in his hands. Yoongi let out a scream. He kept shaking his head and pulling out his hair hysterically.

It was a few moments latter Yoongi seems tired and so he laid himself on the mattress. Yoongi caressed the empty spot on his left.

“Why did you leave me…?” Yoongi sounded utterly broken... He then stopped caressing the empty spot and sat up. He dragged his feet towards a semi transparent container and grabbed the item. Seokjin was puzzled of whhat the younger was trying to do but his question was answered when Yoongi dumped all the transparent liquid all over and around the bed.

Gasoline.

Yoongi then stepped onto the bed, admiring his work. The previous lighter was held tighter in his hand.

"No...no Yoongi no..." Seokjin muttered helplessly.

"Forgive me..." Yoongi mumbled before releasing the lit up lighter onto the bed. In no time time the sheet around Yoongi caught on fire. The pale male didn't do anything to get out of the raging fire. He just let himself being connsumed by the flame.

"No!"

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin felt tired seeing all those dreams. There no escape from death in his dream. None. Seokjin felt a lot worse when he couldn’t even do anything in his dream. Not a thing.

Seokjin felt like he should give himself applause for successfully being a good actor in front of his friends. He couldn’t let his friends to worry for nothing. They have a lot of problem themselves, especially Taehyung. Growing up in a ed up household made Taehyung a time bomb ready to explode anytime. The boy is emotionally unstable and Seokjin knew that well. He knew how much the boy depended on him, craving for affections he couldn’t had in his very own house; and Seokjin readily give all the loves the boy deserves. But what’ll happen once he’s gone?

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin knew this place. It’s Taehyung’s apartment complex. He was in the corridor of Taehyung’s unit. Seokjin saw Taehyung slumped figure leaning at the wall of the apartment. He wanted to move his feets towards the younger to ask if anything’s wrong… but it seems that he couldn’t even move. He was stuck there in his spot watching Taehyung crying. He could see new raw bruises on the younger are face. Without him realizing, he too, cried with the younger.

Suddenly Seokjin’s vision became black, as if he was into another realm. Now he was in another setting where he could see a man was abusing a young woman, where the two people Seokjin recognized as Taehyung’s father and sister. Taehyung’s father pulled the poor fragile girl’s hair and slammed the latter towards the table.

Seokjin screamed frantically for the man to stop, but he knew his voice couldn’t be reached by the man or anyone in this world.

Out of nowhere, Taehyung came striding towards his father with an empty soju bottle in his hand. He smacked the green bottle on his father’s head, making the bottle shattered into pieces. It seems that rage consuming the younger as Taehyung stabbed the piece of broken glasses in his hand on the soft flesh of his father’s abdomen repeatedly. Blood gushing out of the mans’s injured abdomen.

Seokjin stared in shock. He could hear Taehyung’s sister frantic screaming and pleading for the younger boy to stop.

Again, Seokjin’s vision was blurred into nothingness.

This time he was in abandoned warehouse. Taehyung was now leaning on the dirtied wall. His white shirt was stained with dried blood. He saw how shaken the boy was. Taehyung brought his shaky bloodied hands up. He hastily picked the abandoned half-filled water bottle he found in the warehouse. He uncapped the bottle and washed off the blood on his hands. He tried his best to remove the stain, wiping the excess red liquid on his shirt, unconsciously dirtied the shirt more. He knew his effort was in vain. He couldn’t think straight. Taehyung let his body slumped back to the wall. Then the young boy pulled out his phone, dialing shakily. He put the phone to his ears, tears now streaming down the boys cheeks.

“Hyung, I wanted to see you…”

. . . . . . . . . .

Seokjin almost couldn’t look at Taehyung after the dream he had. Every time he saw the boy’s innocent face, he felt like crying. He was hurting, afraid of what the boy would become. He couldn’t let that happened.

He just couldn’t…

He predicted how devastated Jungkook will become if that ever happens. Seokjin knew those two maknaes have deep connection between them. When one’s smiled, the other will too and when one’s hurting, the other would feel the same.

So it shook Seokjin when he had a dream about the maknae

. . . . . . . . . .

Jungkook was walking along the shop lot corridors. All the stores were closed; supposedly it was midnight when he decided to stroll through the empty Seoul. Seokjin saw how the boy absentmindedly walked; the boy’s face was void of any emotions. Jungkook accidentally bumped onto a man, but the boy couldn’t care less. He just left like that.

The man somehow didn’t receive that too well.

“Hey!” The man shouted. Jungkook kept walking.

The next thing Seokjin knew, the man grabbed Jungkook’s collar while hissing ‘I’m talking to you, kid.’

But Jungkook retaliated by grabbing the hands on his collar and shoved it.

“That’s it. You need to learn some lesson.” The man hissed before punching Jungkook mercilessly. The other who was with the man also joined in the beating. Once he deemed the young boy was punished enough, the man spat.

"That should teach you something.”

The men walked away, leaving the heavily bruised Jungkook.

Jungkook groaned in pain. His lips were busted and he ached all over the body. He gritted his teeth. Anger consuming him.Seokjin was startled when the boy punched the wall beside him. His knuckle bled. Then the boy screamed with all his might. Tears were running down the boy’s cheeks.

“Why…” The boy was now sobbing hard.

“Why do you need to go…?”

Seokjin would do anything to pull the maknae into his embrace. But his ing feet wouldn’t even budge from his spot and what was left for him was to cry along with the younger.

It took several moments for Jungkook to calm down. The boy then rose up to his feet and staggered towards the main road. Once he was at the intersection, Jungkook didn’t even stop walking. Seokjin eyes widened. He saw the red walking sign blinking tauntingly and there was a rapid incoming truck on the left.

“Jungkook, no!”

But it was too late. The truck slammed onto Jungkook’s frail body, sending the younger’s body flying a few metres from his previous spot. Seokjin saw how Jungkook coughed up blood before the maknae stopped moving completely in his own pool of blood.

Then darkness consumed Seokjin.