Hakyeon pulls his legs up in the bed so the warmth from his thighs just barely reaches his stomach. He doesn't like being alone and Taekwoon has been gone longer than usual this day. It's odd because the younger would usually just buy what's needed and then hurry back home as quickly as possible.

Hakyeon sighs and tries to fall asleep. He manages his breathing, makes it slow, sleepy and then closes his eyes. His bare toes curls from the cold air and he shuffle around a bit to hide them under the covers. It's only moments away now, there isn't long until he'll fall asleep.

But then he feels it, something that's uneasily tingling inside. An eerie sensation that is giving him goosebumps. It's dark, scary... The water rises and suddenly, Hakyeon is wide awake. His eyes are widened and his chest bouncing up and down in desperate tries to keep his breath in control. It's happening again, he's drowning.

His lungs are heavy with water, his body flinching and his mind in panic. He can feel the adrenaline rush hit him hard. That desperate instinct to survive and Hakyeon can't do about it. All he can do is lay there and suffer, feel every damn detail of it with the tears stubbornly burning his eyes. He feels how his own breath slowly gets taken away and how he's sinking to soon be fully engulfed by the dark, cold water.

Taekwoon.

The thought of his beloved coming home to see him like this, or maybe even see him dead, lifeless in their shared bed they've made so many sweet memories in flashes through Hakyeon's mind. It somehow gives him the strength to fight on. Because he can't let that happen – he can't leave Taekwoon here alone. And so he screams, he actually manages it. To let a long pained scream out inside the cage of misery, inside the endless depths of water that surrounds him.

It helps too, because he soon hears someone outside the front door asking, shouting if he's okay. And when Hakyeon doesn't answer the question, the door opens and suddenly – he's facing his neighbour's terrified face in the entrance of the bedroom. She seems to be calling an ambulance...

Hakyeon however, is lost. He feels it down to his bones – that desperate, suffocating feeling of tiredness. He feels the sweat run down his heated body and it makes him feel disgusting. If he now has time for that. Hakyeon can barely still breathe and he's so frustrated, so scared. Terrified. Because he couldn't stay well for Taekwoon's sake.

I love you, 
I'm sorry.

✱

It's with mixed emotions that Taekwoon follows Sanghyuk into the dark-painted store once again. He's cautious, but he does want to know the truth behind everything and according to the younger; the portal is able to show him that. He's led by curiosity, though of course, there's also another part of Taekwoon that just wants to go home and cuddle into Hakyeon's embrace... I'll just take a short peek.

The portal is still glimmering undisturbingly in the middle of the room where it appeared earlier as the two boys enter the shop. And once again, the doors closes themselves heavily behind their backs, cutting off all light from the outside. Taekwoon gulps, is he really about to do this? His courage wavers a bit but luckily, compared to earlier, the heavy feeling in the room seems to have gotten slightly better. Although it's still repelling him, telling him to go away.

"Touch it." Sanghyuk suddenly says, nodding towards the light right in front of them.

Taekwoon looks into the portal for a few seconds. It's scary, unsettling to hear the voices of the people inside right near his ears. But he does touch it. Carefully, meekly and the longer he does it; the sound from it grows both louder and nearer. He hears his parents now and they're not happy with him. Then, a husky voice that his mind seems to somehow has been searching for breaks through the air. It's comforting him, telling him that everything will be alright. And as if lulled by the gentle tone, Taekwoon closes his eyes and gives after to the moment.

"It will be alright hyung, I'm sure they didn't mean it."

It's Wonshik who's talking and for some reason, Taekwoon can't take his eyes off him. His body is thin but well-maintained, his hair blonde and his clothing consisting of a marine blue pullover and black ripped jeans. Casual. Taekwoon wants to look more, longer, take in all of it – but he is not in control of his body anymore. At least not this version of him. He can watch and think, but the rest seems to be a memory that will play out the same every time.

Taekwoon's body automatically moves, gets on its feet and walks up to Wonshik. The latter looks at him with kind, comforting eyes.

"Do you need a hug?" He asks and Taekwoon finds himself nodding as an answer.

They hug and in the back of his head, Taekwoon feels at peace. His heart is pounding warmly and he remembers how it felt, how much these little gestures helped him with the problems he had with his parents. Wonshik always helped Taekwoon to pull through his misery. Because Taekwoon now also remembers – how unbearably anxious he used to feel.

He recalls how every day was a struggle, a fight. He used to want to kill himself, hurt himself, anything to fill the empty void inside. Anything, to not have to take every single step of every damned day with a heavy sense of caution.

Wonshik helped him through it. 
He loved Taekwoon.

And Taekwoon loved him back.

The air wavers, the familiar home he stands in breaks down into nothing and Taekwoon keeps his eyes closed with all of his might. He doesn't want to be pulled out from the memory just yet, he needs to see more. But somewhere in the back of his head, the thought of Hakyeon is pounding. It's been a while since he left for the mall, right? The elder must be worried... Taekwoon shakes it off and goes deeper in. Just a little bit more.

He sees it.

Wonshik is sitting helplessly huddled up outside of Taekwoon's front door and doesn't even spare him a glance as the latter walks up to him. The air is humid from the passing rain and dripping sounds are heard all around.

Taekwoon feels how his body crouches down beside the younger, "You're going to catch a cold."

"I don't care."

He's drunk and Taekwoon sighs.

"Just come inside... Please?" He begs and Wonshik finally looks up at him.

It's a look of a stubborn person, a person who is denying reality. A person who can't take the life he's living anymore. Taekwoon knows it, he always knew it.

"Let's talk inside..."

...

Taekwoon is suddenly back in the dark room with the portal. He's panting heavily and feels how his bangs stick disgustingly to his forehead from all the sweating. It's pricking his skin but then again, that's really the least of his problems right now. The darkness wants him out of here, he needs to go and Sanghyuk seems to understand that.

He grabs Taekwoon by his arm and drags him outside again. In the light, white and soft environment, Taekwoon instantly feels much better. Well, physically anyway. For he has no idea of what's going on in his mind.

They return to the bench they talked on earlier and after sitting down, Sanghyuk hands Taekwoon a napkin to dry off his sweat with.

"Do you believe me now?" He then asks after a few seconds of silence and to that, the elder sighs and gives the used napkin back to its owner.

"I do. Now, what?"

"Now, we need to fight it."

Taekwoon is still feeling tired but somehow has enough strength to give Sanghyuk a weak frown. He leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees, "Why?"

"... Weren't you listening to me before?" Sanghyuk asks and Taekwoon notices how the younger's voice has gotten a slight bit of edge to it, "The angels wants to produce love forever here! They're using us! Don't you understand?"

He does understand. Actually, Sanghyuk's argument got stronger the moment Taekwoon touched the portal and he saw what he saw. He gets that he's dead. He's also broken, enraged and seemingly used. But none of those things changes the fact that he's in love.

That's right... None of those things changes the fact that the feelings, although planted, Taekwoon are feeling for Hakyeon remains. And for him, it's still as real it can possibly be. For although Wonshik was right in front of Taekwoon, warm and kind, giving him a heavy feeling of bad conscience that he naturally wanted to blame the only thing he knew – the 'angels'. Another thing that returned to Taekwoon was his memories of how he used to have it. How the dark thoughts of suicide, loneliness and such would corrupt him every day, every night. Rob him of his sleep, rob him off his happiness. Rob him off his life, if he now had one.

If Taekwoon had gotten the chance to trade that for the experience of waking up to the silent sight of a safe room every morning. Feeling his beloved's body right near him under the covers and then casually go up to make pancakes for breakfast – then he wouldn't have wished for anything more.

He still doesn't wish for anything more. But when he tells Sanghyuk all that, the younger just scrunches his nose up and looks genuinely disgusted.

"So what, you wanna stay here and be with a person someone else told you to love?! Do you think Hakyeon would feel good if he knew the love you're giving him once belonged to somebody else?" He scoffs.

Taekwoon smiles weakly, "I won't tell him anything... Since I love him."

Sanghyuk turns silent and seems to take a few moment to think. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as if he's so stressed that he can't even think straight right now. And Taekwoon can't help but think that the younger looks like he's dealing with a child that can't understand the cruel and complicated world of adults. But then again, maybe that's pretty accurate in this situation?

Taekwoon sighs, he doesn't want to understand though. Not anymore. Now, he just wants to go home to Hakyeon and make sure his love his safe. He wants to make pancakes and hear the elder's nagging voice behind his back asking if they're ready soon. He wants to watch TV until late at night with Hakyeon sleeping on his shoulder and then forget to turn it off as he carries the elder into the bedroom...

Hm?

Suddenly, something wet seems to be running down Taekwoon's cheek. He frowns and brushes over it with the back of his hand. It's a tear. He's crying. For in his heart, there's something unwillingly shifting... He feels after for himself and indeed – in the space that once belonged to Hakyeon alone, there's suddenly a new face showing. Wonshik's. And Taekwoon doesn't know how to get him out of there.

He brushes away another tear and in the distance he now also feels how Sanghyuk's hand is suddenly onto his shoulder, massaging it in a friendly matter.

"Hey..." The younger comforts, "You're clearly not okay with this situation... Okay, I won't ask you to fight the angels anymore, but can I at least tell you what you need to do to forget what you want to forget?"

Forget? Taekwoon looks up. Forget about Wonshik? It pains him to ask and his lips seem to already, by the pure thought of it; shiver from fear.

His jaw clenches, pupils unsurely shifting, "What should I do?"

"Go into the portal. Don't just touch it, walk into it and resolve what needs to be resolved." Sanghyuk explains.

"Will that make me... forget?"

"Yup."

Taekwoon takes a deep breath, "Then pl-"

Their talk is abruptly cut off as Taekwoon's ring signal is suddenly heard from his pocket. He is quick to brush his tears away for the third time that day and lifts the phone to his ear, "Yes?"

"Is this Jung Taekwoon? I'm calling from White Square Medical Center, it's about our patient Cha Hakyeon..."