link to livejournal post: you're my fifth season

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning circus on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on his lips

Have you ever had one of those secrets which nobody, yet somehow everybody knows?

Kyungsoo has one: someone he wants to hold onto forever and keep all to himself. Said person is sleeping right next to him, his right arm draped lazily over Kyungsoo’s chest and his drool forming a tiny pool on the pillow. His snores form a rhythm, a soft lullaby. The older man gazes at the sleeping boy and a smile lights up his features.

“I don’t deserve you,” he leans down and whispers against his ear, lips brushing against warm skin, “you’re too perfect to be true.” He breathes more sweet words, knowing that he will not be able to do so once the sun rises and they are no longer protected by the darkness of the night.

He feels the figure stir and wraps his arms tighter around bare, sun-kissed skin. Closing his eyes, he dreams of bright lights and camera shutters, slender fingers reaching out for him and a pair of hands cupping his face tenderly. He dreams of staring into brown eyes the colour of firewood blazing passionately before he feels a pair of velvet soft lips pressing into his forehead. A bright smile is smacked onto his face as he turns and stares into the distance, the ferocious eyes of the paparazzi and the bulging lenses.

Jongin wakes up to the smell of fried eggs and coffee. He stretches an arm out and feels cold sheets. Frowning, he sits up and rubs his eyes repeatedly. Suddenly, his phone rings with a notification. He picks it up and swipes across the screen lazily but immediately perks up when he sees the photo on the screen.

Doe eyes and pink lips, pretty fingers holding up a cup of coffee, most likely espresso (Jongin never understood his love for coffee – he thinks it tastes like poison), winking straight into the camera and at Jongin’s heart.

@dokyungsoo12: good morning everyone~ it’s time to get out of bed!

Jongin pushes the thick sheets aside and scrambles out of bed, running to the kitchen. He sees a petite figure bent over the dining table, staring at his phone, his brows furrowed together.

“Stop trying to point out your flaws, idiot. You’re perfect,” Jongin mumbles under his breath as he tiptoes towards the person, a smile spread across his handsome face. He slowly approaches him and then gently taps on his shoulder, whispering a quiet ‘Boo’.

A phone is sent flying into the air and luckily, Jongin catches it in time before it crashes onto the floor. A loud scream fills the air and he breaks out into loud laughter.

“Kim Jongin!” the victim turns around and shouts, hitting him continuously on the chest.

“Good morning hyung,” Jongin giggles and wraps the shorter man in a hug, resting his head on his shoulder. “I saw your picture, you look adorable,” he adds with a grin. The other just grunts but Jongin can feel him squeezing his chest tighter.

When Jongin lets go he leans down, pouting his lips and shutting his eyes. However, he receives a flick on the forehead. “Brush your teeth,” Kyungsoo chides and pushes a whining Jongin into the bathroom. He reappears after a few minutes and the shorter man then plants a soft kiss against his lips, whispering a soft ‘good morning’ against them.

They sit at the dining table chatting over breakfast and eventually, Jongin ends up on his boyfriend’s lap, singing to the tune of his latest song for him to feed him. His sweet, melodious voice echoes around the apartment and a million Queen Alexandra's birdwing butterflies flutter in Kyungsoo.

It is days like this when Kyungsoo wants to hold Jongin tighter and never let him go.

Their peace is interrupted when Kyungsoo’s phone rings, playing his favourite song, the outro to Jongin’s first album. He smiles apologetically, pushing his boyfriend away lightly and excusing himself to the balcony.

Ten minutes later, Kyungsoo is in front of the mirror while Jongin is hugging him from behind. Their height difference is really obvious in such a position and Kyungsoo allows Jongin to rest his chin on his head as he adjusts the buttons on his shirt.

“You have to go already?” Jongin murmurs and pouts.

“I have work to do Jongin,” Kyungsoo answers and turns back to give his boyfriend a light peck on the cheek, “we’re already behind schedule.” He watches as Jongin’s cheeks turn into a deep shade of pink and he wants to take a picture of that sight.

“Do you want me to send you there?” Jongin suggests but the older man shakes his head, for fear of the public seeing them together.

“I’ll be back before 12,” Kyungsoo assures the younger boy and picks up his keys after he reminds Jongin to take his meals on time, Jongin replying with ‘Are you my mum Kyungsoo?’. His hand tightens around the door knob, lingering on it for a few seconds. He suddenly spins around, grabs Jongin and steals a kiss on his lips.

“Take care, Soo,” the pop star whispers in a daze and gazes down at his boyfriend.

With that, Kyungsoo flees out of the house and hurries to the elevator.

He scans his watch and sighs. It’s going to be a long day and he already misses Jongin.

Upon arriving at the filming site, Kyungsoo starts greeting the staff there and he is rushed into dressing, the stylists fussing over him, ensuring that he looks nothing but flawless. He spots a familiar face sitting across the room, legs crossed daintily and reading a magazine with his own face on it.

Kyungsoo snorts and tries to get away unnoticed but a high voice calls his name and he rolls his eyes.

“What do you want Byun?” Kyungsoo replies curtly and proceeds to take a seat two seats away from the actor, his lips thinning into a frown.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Baekhyun sings and snickers, “Guess you ditched him for work? How typical.”

“That’s none of your business,” the younger actor hisses and pretends to scroll through his phone to avoid conversation.

“So defensive,” he hears Baekhyun cluck under his breath and takes deep breaths to stop himself from hurtling his chair at the petite male wearing too much eyeliner.

He stares at the obnoxious brunette through the mirror and wonders what in the world he was thinking when he decided to date him back then. Byun Baekhyun is everything Kyungsoo dislikes: loud, sassy, pompous, vain, an alcoholic and very . He cringes when he recalls the nights they spent together in Baekhyun’s flat, disturbing the neighbours with their activities. Kyungsoo always woke up the following morning with Baekhyun snoring in his face. How romantic.

He quickly unlocks his phone and looks down at his wallpaper - the back view of a tall and slim man with his brown hair blowing in the wind and his arms spread out wide as he faces the sea. Kyungsoo smiles at the photo, proud of his own photography skills and even more proud of himself for having such an amazing boyfriend.

He is so glad Byun Baekhyun is history because all he wants to do is to live in the present.

He is called to the set and he quickly gets into the mood of the script. Soon, the cameras start rolling and without fail, Kyungsoo delivers his lines naturally.

In front of the cameras, he’s neither Jongin’s boyfriend nor Byun Baekhyun’s ex-lover; he’s Do Kyungsoo, the rising star of Korea’s entertainment industry.

The lights shine upon them as their faces lean towards each other, Kyungsoo’s eyes fixated on the lips in front of his. He places a gentle hand on smooth cheeks, closing his eyes. Finally, their lips meet and Kyungsoo resists a gulp as he presses them together. A single tear rolls down his left eye just like in the script.

It will be their last kiss before Jungwoon, Kyungsoo’s character in the movie, goes to the army and fights for his country and loved ones. 

“Cut!” the director’s voice booms and he immediately releases his hold on the actress.

“That was a good take. Let’s move on to the next scene,” the director says and the cameras start shifting. Kyungsoo walks over to the side of the set to get a drink and an enormous smile lights up his face when he spots someone at the refreshment table. He runs over into warm arms, quickly being engulfed in a hug.

“Jongin! When did you come?” Kyungsoo gasps and spins them around, his laughter echoing around the place. The pop star just nuzzles his face in Kyungsoo’s soft hair and mumbles something that sounds like “I missed you”.

When they pull apart, Jongin rests his hands on Kyungsoo’s waists and chuckles, “That was a nice kiss.” Kyungsoo’s face turns the colour of the maroon shirt he is wearing and he glances away, unable to look at Jongin anymore.

“Don’t be jealous,” the actor whispers as he leans up to stare back at Jongin. At that moment, the younger boy swoops down and places a soft kiss at the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips, pulling back with a satisfied smirk.

“Why should I be jealous when our kisses are better?” he quips, sporting a smug grin.

Kyungsoo looks into his eyes and wonders if all of this is a dream. He starts to think that all of this is just a figment of his wild imagination and none of it is real, because things are too good to be true. Will he wake up to a world without Kim Jongin?

Jongin has to leave halfway through Kyungsoo’s shooting because he has to go to his studio and he reluctantly bids him goodbye after making him promise to be home by 12.

“You have a really nice boyfriend,” Kyungsoo’s co-actor comments as they take a break for dinner.

“I know,” he replies with a twinkle in his eyes and a warm feeling spreading over his body.

With fast steps and a racing heart, Kyungsoo sprints to his apartment, silently cursing himself. He made Jongin promise to be home by 12 but here he is arriving home at nearly 1am. He quickly unlocks the door and expects to see his fuming boyfriend at the couch, arms folded and a dangerous glare in his eyes.

“Jong…in?” Kyungsoo’s voice trails off and disappears when he is greeted by darkness.

Nobody’s home yet. He feels his heart sink with every step he takes.

He turns on the lights and takes out his phone to check if he missed any messages. His wallpaper greets him instead, as if mocking him. Kyungsoo lets out a small sigh and throws his coat on the couch before collapsing beside it. He takes out his phone and sends a quick text.

where are you?

He returns to the couch after washing up and changing into pyjamas, waiting and waiting for the door to open and for Jongin to burst through it while complaining about the day.

As the clock strikes two, there is still nobody in sight. Closing his eyes, Kyungsoo takes in deep breaths to calm himself down but ends up falling asleep on the cold couch.

The actor wakes up with a frown etched onto his face. His vision lands on the clock and heck, it’s already 12p.m and his empty stomach is grumbling loudly. A black jacket is wrapped around him and he immediately recognizes its scent: Bleu de Chanel, sprayed two times on each wrist, then once by each side of the neck. Only one person he knows wears that cologne and that person is still nowhere to be seen in the house. Kyungsoo peels off the jacket and drops it into the laundry basket, rubbing his sore back.

He spots bright yellow post-its on the fridge and carefully removes them.

Soo, I’m sorry for not fulfilling my promise yesterday. Work didn’t go as smooth as I expected it to and my phone died in the middle of recording. Forgive me?

There’s a small bear with a remorseful expression at the corner of the note, with lots of hearts scribbled around it.

I’ll be at the recording studio today too. I’ll make sure to charge my phone!

This second note has more hearts drawn all over the paper and a huge ‘I LOVE YOU’ written across the bottom, signed with a very familiar autograph.

Kyungsoo wants to remain angry and he wants to crumple the notes up and throw them into the waste basket but he finds himself cracking a tiny smile while sighing.

i forgive you, because the bear was really cute.

A reply arrives shortly and Kyungsoo scrambles to read it.

omg hyung did you know worried i was??? ><

go eat something, you must be starving now!!!

btw the recording is going real smooth and it might end early! come pick me up? :)

Kyungsoo does not answer but he knows where exactly he is heading tonight.

The day ends with tangled limbs and bare chests pressed against each other under crumpled sheets. Kyungsoo cannot ask for more and Jongin thinks that everything is perfect.

Life is a bed of roses, isn’t it?

The tanned pop star wakes up next to his sleeping boyfriend just like any other Saturday morning. He glances at the clock on the wall and realises that it is still really early. Carefully getting out of the bed, he tiptoes to the window and looks out.

The outside world has barely awoken as well, with sparse traffic and a handful of people strolling on the streets, looking like small moving dots. After all, Jongin is in the penthouse of the tallest apartment building in Gangnam. He turns back to look at the sleeping figure, currently curled up under the thick comforters and looking like an angel with the morning sunlight casting a soft glow on him.

He goes to get his phone, poising to take a picture of this beautiful sight when his phone starts vibrating in his hand. He picks up the call with a frown and hurries out of the room, afraid of waking his boyfriend up.

“Hello?”

“Jongin, this is Mr. Kim. Check your email and come down to the company as soon as you see it, together with Kyungsoo,” his CEO says gravely and Jongin gulps at his tone. He hangs up and opens his email with slightly trembling fingers.

What he reads next causes him to fall back onto the sofa, the words imprinting into the back of his eyelids as he closes his eyes, feeling himself shaking.

Suddenly, there is a soft tap on his shoulder and he jumps, his eyes springing open. He turns around and realises that it’s only Kyungsoo. His Kyungsoo.

“What happened Jongin? You look