FOR KNIGHTS OUT REVIEW SHOP 

Note : These are my opinions and my interpretations of the story. I’m going to be as honest as possible – these distinctions mean nothing about you as a character and are not intended in any way to be personal attacks on the author(s). Also, please keep in mind that, because there thoughts and interpretations are mine, there may not be things which you agree with, especially you know what you want to write and I have no idea what your intent was – I only know the message as it came across to me. For anyone who is reading this and has not read the story: spoilers.

 

 

Title – 8/10

I think it’s interesting – it catches your attention, it’s going to be something along the lines of cops but it’s not super obvious.

It’s definitely relevant to your story.

Aesthetic/Foreward – 6/10

I understand the poster isn’t super important, and it looks pretty interesting.

Now, after reading the story, I think I would’ve liked it if it was a little less ‘organized’ – the blocks in which the characters are trapped in work to counter the relationships established in your writing.

The content of your foreward : I like that it’s succinct and brief.

However, the foreward is where potential readers and subscribers get the first insight as to what your story will be like and get a taste of your writing style (possibly). It’s fine that it’s short and general, but it does slightly fall apart if there are grammar mistakes right off the bat.

Plot 21/25

I loved the plot: it was interesting, it was somewhat original (more mass media is focusing on ghosts these days but who knows), it had a couple of twists. Overall good.

I can’t say much about the relationship between Kyungsoo and Jongin, however, other than that they were just a normal couple. There’s not much that sparks other than the fact that Jongin was willing to accept Kyungsoo for who he was. To Kyungsoo, this is significant, but because the progress is fast, there wasn’t much time to build on the fact or emphasize the fact that he was truly lonely.

When you’re establishing a fast pace, you have to recognize that, although that may keep the reader engaged, it’s taking away opportunity for you to establish or make the character’s problems grow on to the reader.

Characters 16/25

I’d say the characters were pretty okay with and of themselves, but the concepts behind the characters were a bit cliché.

Kyungsoo is the typical all nice guy, willing to sacrifice himself for the good of others, no matter what that be.

Jongin is the person who will do anything to help the people he loves and appreciates- and is clearly a nicer guy than he likes to let off most of the time.

The relationship between them, like I said before, is typical. There’s nothing wrong with typical, but typical also means there’s nothing that really stands out about it either.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol are also… quite typical.

The plot was very nice, so overall it doesn’t really feel as if anything is off, but there’s nothing that really stood out to me both in the relationships between the characters and the way that they developed.

Style – 17/25

I’m reallllllly sorry I couldn’t bring myself to give a higher score than this just because grammar was a large issue. Usually, if it’s a couple here or there I try to overlook it, but it did occasionally get in the way of my reading. Don’t feel too bad about this – it’s fine that you don’t have perfect grammar (I don’t have perfect grammar either; I honestly don’t think anyone does) however if it is a prominent problem, it’s not a bad idea to ask a couple of people to read it over once or twice and fix it. Grammar is very easy to fix, and yours is not so bad that I can’t understand what you’re trying to say – it just needs a little work.

Other than the grammar, I liked your style. The writing is understandable, the sentences aren’t choppy. Sometimes you play around with the structure for effect.

This wasn’t drastic – no intentional vocab, no patterns, or anything like that, but again your writing wasn’t bad. It just also wasn’t great or standing out.

Enjoyment – 3/5

If it was based on just plot, I would give it a 5/5.

But I sosososo badly found myself wanting more character development and more relationship problems.

Additionally – um. The fact that the story ends on a cliffhanger really defeats the point of having an ending overall. This is just a personal pet peeve – why make a new “Story” for a “part 2” when you can just continue on with this one? Haha don’t feel bad about this though this is COMPLETELY my own opinion – maybe other people love second stories I don’t know lol

I know this was really general – please feel free to message me for any more questions!!

Overall – 71/100