No one expected it to work out. Some would say it was doomed from the beginning. In fact, Jinyoung recalls saying it repeatedly to Youngjae because all this bull about opposites attract just set you up to be a mess in the end. But Youngjae didn’t listen. He was forever the optimist. He saw the good in people even if they didn’t see good in themselves. That was his first mistake because Jaebum wasn’t good. He didn't know how to be. He knew how to shut people out, act like he didn’t care, and he was all too good at it. Youngjae wanted to be there for him because he thought someone like that just needed some love to open up. What started off as him just wanting to be there as a friend turned into something more. It was the smiles that Jaebum tried to hide, it was the moments Youngjae caught him singing with a voice that can only be described as angelic, and it was despite him looking so rough his touches only felt gentle. It was all of that in which Youngjae fell for Jaebum. That was his second mistake.

There was always the question of why Jaebum let this happen. He knew who he was. He knew was incapable of letting himself love someone. He couldn’t let himself be vulnerable because it would only lead to him being hurt. Then Youngjae comes along with his smile that could melt any ice cold heart and all too sweet personality and he knew he was screwed. No matter how hard he tried to not let it happen everything about Youngjae chipped at the wall he put up. Youngjae was too damn good for him and he knew that. Yet, he let it happen. After they held hands for the first time, he thought he couldn’t do this.  After they shared their first kiss with each other, he couldn’t do this. After they went on their first, second and third date, he couldn’t do this. But it was too late because every first, second and third was an exceptionally beautiful moment. He knew he fell for Youngjae and that scared him.

Then there came the times where Youngjae wouldn’t hear from Jaebum for a week and all he could do was wait, worry and cry because what was he doing wrong? But Jaebum would come right back with those kisses, touches and everything felt right in the world. It would happen over and over again and Youngjae would continue to wait because Jaebum just needs space sometimes and he needs to understand that. That was his third mistake.

Jaebum holds Youngjae in his arms, their bare bodies pressed together under the warm blanket. He feels the rise and fall of the younger’s chest. Soft snores filled the room. Moonlight shone through the curtains and it should have all been very peaceful. To hold the man he loved cared about so much after being so close and intimate with each other should have been the best thing in the world. But he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it fully as his thoughts bombarded him with questions and doubts. Jaebum was being selfish, he didn’t deserve Youngjae and he knew that. Yet, here he was. Holding him as if he plans to never let go. He was going to let himself be selfish for a few more hours, let himself enjoy this peace that he knows he’ll ruin, just for a few more hours because pass the fears and doubts he wants this more than anything. Wants to keep the warmth that Youngjae gives him, wants to keep seeing that big smile, and wants to keep hearing that loud laugh but he can’t. Jaebum wasn’t good and he couldn’t let himself ruin someone with so much light in them. Little did either of them know that Youngjae was already ruined by himself and the boy he loved.

Youngjae wakes up to emptiness beside him and a text that read ‘i can’t do this anymore. i’m sorry’ and he’s not sure what Jaebum means. He texts and calls with no answer being given. Is this just another time for Jaebum to have time to himself? Youngjae waits. Of course he does. There’s so much more worry and tears because he isn’t coming back this time and Youngjae’s, again, wondering what he did wrong. He cries that week, next week and the one after with only Jinyoung there to hold him, Jinyoung wishing he can kill the bastard that did this to his best friend, and telling him that Jaebum was a mistake. But despite all the tears, the pain and Jinyoung being right, Youngjae was selfless and Jaebum was the best mistake that he’d do over again and again.