The alley at the back of the restaurant was void of any living being except for a one lone man leaning against the red brick of the wall. His solemn gaze was directed at the dark night sky which was scattered with stars here and there. From time to time, his view would be slightly blurred by puff of white poisonous smoke emerging from between his lips. It was so peaceful, almost tranquil, away from the celebratory noise of those people.

He liked it here.

The door attached to the wall next to him opened at the same time as he let go of the cancer stick from between his fingers, seeing it touch the ground, the ember flickered weakly before crushed beneath the sole of his shoe. He lifted his head to see the new comer.

“Hyung.” He greeted. Kim Dongwan beamed a smile at him, the one that made the corners of his eyes crinkled. He did not understand why his hyung hated the wrinkles so much, they were beautiful.

“Sangyoonie. What are you doing here, all alone?” he asked in his warm and friendly tone. He approached the taller man and leaned on the spot right next to him, their arms almost touching.

Jeong Sangyoon lifted the shoe which had the finished crushed underneath, hoping that the shorter man saw it so that he did not have to answer the question verbally. Yet, when he did not hear any response, he lifted his gaze back at his hyung, only to see the man staring right back at him. The older man did not pay his former cancer stick embedded in the smallest crack on the ground. He was having his eyes on him for the whole time.

“Smoking.” He finally answered. Dongwan smiled slightly at that.

“You remind me of my brothers. You and your smoking habit.”

“You have brothers?”

“Shinhwa.”

“Oh.” Sangyoon grew silent. He could not help but noticing the tone his hyung used when he mentioned his band. It was a tone someone used when they talked about their beloved, their life. He sat his gaze back at the starry sky. He his lips, savoring the trace of tobacco on them.

“You will go back to them after this, right?” Sangyoon voiced his thought, still not setting his eyes on the older man.

“Yeah, we have an album and a comeback to prepare. It would be hectic.” He added, chuckling softly at his own words. Sangyoon closed his eyes, letting his hyung’s voice washed over him. His hyung sounded so in love. The younger man felt the back of his eyes prickling. He did not drink that much, how could he feel this way, then?

“What about you, Sangyoonie?”

“New musicals, interviews.” He drawled.

“Good for you, then. And it reminds me of something that I haven’t said to you, yet.” This caught Sangyoon’s attention as the younger man opened his eyes and directed his gaze at his older companion.

“What is it?” Sangyoon prompted, trying not to let his eagerness bleed out. Dongwan turned his warm and lively gaze at him. Sangyoon’s breath hitched.

“It’s only between us, but… I think you are the best Griswold for me.”

Silence.

Then Sangyoon took a deep breath.

“Really?” he asked meekly, a funny tone from a man his height. Dongwan grinned at his inquiry.

“Of course, why would I lie? Playing as Poe with you as Griswold drained me the most, yet it was the most exhilarating. The fear, the anger, the depression, the passion, everything my Poe felt were so real it was almost terrifying. All thanks to you, Sangyoon-ah.”

Sangyoon felt heat rushed to his face. He could hear his own heartbeat thumping crazily in his ears.

“I…”

“I learnt a lot from you.” Dongwan added before he scooted closer and rested his head against the younger’s shoulder. Then, with a soft voice, he breathed,

“Thank you.”

Everthing was so silent on the outside, safe from their soft breath, even the sound of their colleagues laughing and occasional vehicles were dulled, fading in the background. Yet, in Sangyoon’s head, it was chaos.

His senses went haywire. He could feel the slightest press of his hyung’s head against his shoulder, the slightest heat coming off of the body next to him, the slightest sound of his heartbeat. It was nothing unfamiliar, the gesture, he tried to remind himself. Dongwan loved to do that from time to time, leaning to, even hugging or just generally being touchy-feely with the casts and staffs of their recently ended musical. There was nothing strange; this is just another typical skinship from his hyung. Yet…

Yet-

“Let’s get back in. It’s getting cold.” Dongwan broke the silence, lifting his head from its perch on Sangyoon’s shoulder. He was ready to walk to the door which would lead him back to the inside of the warm restaurant when he realized that he had not heard answer from the younger musical actor. He turned around and his stare met Sangyoon’s. The younger’s eyes were wide, eyebrows scrunched up as if he was in despair. His expression was swirling with something Dongwan could not place. Still, however unreadable the younger’s reflection was, it tugged something within the older man’s heart.

Apparently it was also strong enough because he could feel his mouth moving on its own accord, saying something which did not even recognized by his mind.

“Hey, Sangyoonie, say, do you want to drink at my place after this?”

:: :: ::

“Sorry for the mess.” Dongwan mumbled as they stepped into the hallway. The older man switched the lamp on, letting it illumined the interior with its soft light. He turned to the taller man and smiled.

“Make yourself at home, Sangyoonie.” He chirped as he skidded to the kitchen. Not so long after, the dull clinking sound of his hyung rummaging through his refrigerator could be heard from where Sangyoon sat.

When he heard steps from behind him, indicating that Dongwan had found whatever he looked for, he turned his head. The Poe actor had bottles of beer in his arms and some bags of chips. Sangyoon’s eyebrows were raised at that. While he helped his hyung to put them on the table which had been set by the older man before he went for the kitchen, he voiced out his thought.

“I thought you only eat healthy food?” he asked, referring to the bags of chips.

“I do. These are from the stash I have, for when those hungry devils decide to turn up and raid my food.” From the tone, Sangyoon did not even have to ask to know that his hyung talked about his Shinhwa brothers.

Dongwan walked to one of the shelves placed against the wall, examining the items it contained.

“What do you want to watch?” he finally asked after ‘mmm’-ing for some time.

“Anything which doesn’t require much thinking, I guess.” The younger replied, shrugging his shoulder. The vocalist of Shinhwa looked thoughtful for a while before setting his choice on one of the film, picking the DVD out and set it in the DVD player. The soft glow from the TV lit up the already dimmed room.

The movie started and they began to dig the bottled alcohol and thinly sliced savory potatoes.

:: :: ::

Sangyoon’s eyes snapped open. The first thing his brain registered was the fact that he was leaning rather uncomfortably against the back of the couch. He squinted at his surrounding while trying to move into a better position. The TV had been turned off and the room was back at its dimmed state. The next thing he was slowly aware of was that he was at Dongwan’s instead of his own apartment.

Yet, speaking of the man, where is-

Something moved against his shoulder. He froze up instinctively and turned his head to his right rather cautiously. There, leaning peacefully against his shoulder, his hyung slept. His steady and deep breathing can be felt through the fabric of his shirt, warming the younger’s skin. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his racing heartbeat and carefully move into a better position so that he would not hurt his back later. His hyung mumbled something in his sleep, moving slightly only to move closer to the source of his personal heater, which, in this case, was a very flustered Sangyoon. The taller man gulped, was unable to take his eyes off of the sleeping man.

“Go back to sleep, Sangyoon-ah.” The older man mumbled sleepily, making Sangyoon jumped. Dongwan straightened his position, rubbing his palm over his face and staring back at the shocked man.

“Y-you’ve been awake?”

“I didn’t. But I’m a very light sleeper and you moved.”

“S-sorry.”

Silence.

They held each other’s gaze for a while before Sangyoon ducked his head. God, his mind was a mess.

“Sangyoonie, what’s bothering you?” Dongwan asked bluntly, making the younger snapped his eyes back at him. He looked too alert for someone who had just woken up from his sleep.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“Today, when we talked at the back of the restaurant, you seemed off.”

They had each other’s reflection on their eyes once again. This time, Sangyoon did not back down. His lips curled into a small yet sad smile.

“Nothing to worry about, hyung. It’s just… it’s just that I think I’ll miss all of this.” He answered rather dejectedly.

“I know. But you will have another project, Sangyoon-ah. You’ll move on and you’ll be alright.” Dongwan reassured, eyes flickering softly form the weak light of the lamp above them.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Still, I will…” Sangyoon trailed off. He closed his lids for a moment, letting out a pained breath, and opened them again. Dongwan’s heart was twisted by the sight. It was Sangyoon’s tortured gaze once again, the one he had seen at the back of the restaurant. In a softest tone, almost a whisper, yet still loud in the otherwise silent room, Sangyoon continued.

“I will miss you, hyung.” And I don’t want to miss you, because, for some reason, missing you hurts the most.

He did not say that, though. He couldn’t.

Yet, somehow he could feel that his hyung understood.

Dongwan’s eyes widened at the younger man’s words. It was as if he recognized that something left unsaid, something deeper than a simple ‘I will miss you’. His stare never left the tallest Griswold, observing how the man casted his eyes downward.

“Oh, Sangyoonie.” Dongwan breathed. He crawled toward the taller man, closing the gap between them, close enough that Dongwan could feel the other’s heat once again through his shirt. Sangyoon’s gaze flickered at him, slightly stunned by the other man’s close proximity. Dongwan was on his knees on the couch now, still leaning closer to Sangyoon.

He reached out, burying his hand into the other’s soft and long locks. The hand moved to the cheek, caressing it with the thumb. Dongwan moved his gaze, which had been trailed on the younger’s slightly parted lips, back to meet Sangyoon’s.

The unspoken understanding dawned between them.

When their lips finally met each other, it was something inevitable. His hyung’s previous acts and the silent conversation between them had led to this. Yet, Sangyoon still felt his heart hitched as he sensed his hyung’s surprisingly soft lips against his, pressing ever so slightly. He let out a pained whine as a wet and warm tongue traced his lower lip.

And the spell broke.

Sangyoon’s hands shot out and grabbed either sides of Dongwan’s face, angling it so he could deepen the kiss. His tongue plunged into his hyung’s cavern, caressing the surface, dancing gently with the other’s wet piece of muscle.

Dongwan moaned, his saliva trickling down. His hands had moved to fist Sangyoon’s clothed shoulder, feeling the firm muscle rippling underneath.

It was scary. It was dizzying. It was exhilarating.

Just like how they danced around each other on the stage.

The bigger man pushed him so that he was lying on his back. Dongwan felt feverish as the younger pulled back slightly, studying him with his soft yet keen eyes. With his long fingers, he swiped Dongwan’s hair strands from his forehead gently. He then commenced to dive in and planted kisses on the man’s brow, down to his cheek, before capturing his lips once again. His body was pulled down by the older man’s arms surrounding his torso.

“Hyung.” Sangyoon whispered, rather breathlessly. Dongwan hugged the body pinning him down tighter in response. The younger nuzzled his nose into the crook where Dongwan’s neck and shoulder met and stayed there, breathing in the scent he had associated with the man. Dongwan moved one of his hands to the younger’s hair. He felt Sangyoon’s lips moved against his heated skin, whispering.

“I- I don’t want to miss you, hyung. I want… I want to still be around you. I can’t… I can’t-” his breath hitched.

“Sangyoonie.”

“…”

Dongwan ducked his head so that he could plant a soft kiss on the younger’s top of the head. He buried his nose there. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Sangyoonie… I love you, too.”

There was no response, not a verbal one, yet he could feel Sangyoon’s lips stretched into a smile, a smile that Dongwan knew would enunciate the gentleness and the warmth of the younger’s eyes.

Sangyoon kept his eyes opened, until he heard that his hyung’s breath became deeper. He closed his eyes, letting his eyelashes brush his cheeks. He drifted off to the sound of Dongwan’s heartbeat.

Everything was silent. Everything was tranquil.

He loved it here.

FIN.