Zitao might have mistaken the afterlife as a very quiet place with angels singing beautifully in the background. He imagined some big cities that look like a piece of paradise that differs for everyone, depending on their perspective in life. Each person sees what he wants to see, does what he wants to do. Then again, Zitao is a mere mortal who has no idea how things like this work. So what he gets after he dies in a plane crash causes his life to go in a complete three-sixty. Literally.

 

For his last moment of living on earth, Zitao hears the sickening twist of metal, the soundless scream of his mother and the haughty stream of the wind whistling in his ears. The ear-piercing wails of the other poor passengers serve as the background music for his unexpected passing.

 

It’s not a particularly bad way to die, but Zitao hates the pain that enters his body during the whole ordeal. His bones were twisting, snapping; blood vessels erupting and spluttering blood everywhere. His skull may or may not have shattered due to the force of the accident, but he’s not fully aware of everything that’s happening to him at the very moment.  At the last second, he sees his life flash before his eyes, vision going dark until he hears nothing but the steady, ceasing beat of his heart.

 

Oddly, he never has the urge to go back and reclaim his life. Here, in the afterlife, he can live without anyone nagging him, because everyone else doesn’t know a single thing about him. They’re all minding their own business, plodding like peaceful waves hitting the sea wall of a city, like a gentle breeze brushing against his skin every now and then. It’s oddly comforting to be with the dead.

 

Well, that was his life, until a certain someone arrives on his doorstep. Zitao makes the mistake of opening the door of his new house in the afterlife for WuYifan, one of the kids who used to bully him in school. All the pain, the insults, and the suffering he felt during his earlier days on earth are in the past, but Zitao can’t help but frown at his appearance: Yifan is wearing a diving suit, with matching goggles and an oxygen tank strapped behind him. His hair is slightly damp, but it doesn’t make him less than handsome.

 

“What are you doing here?” Zitao demands, refusing to let Yifan inside. He has no right to barge in unless he answers Zitao’s question first.

 

“Shark bit me, I drowned, blood everywhere,” Yifan answers dismissively, as if getting bitten by a shark is no big deal. “It hurt a lot, to be honest, but I’m glad they gave me back my lower half. That would have been awfully messy.”

 

Zitao grimaces, stepping back, pulling Yifan inside and closing the door behind them. “I can imagine that. So how did you find me here?”

 

“Find you?” Yifan asks, confused. He sits on the beanbag chair, taking off his equipment and setting it down on the floor. He successfully wets Zitao’s furniture, and the other male silently seethes upon seeing the mess. “I only saw this house in the middle of nowhere. It’s creepy to keep on walking, so I took my chances and knocked on your door.”

 

“That’s … odd,” Zitao gets two mugs from the kitchen and pours a decent amount of coffee in them. Then, he goes back to the living room and hands his visitor a cup. “Afterlife looks different for me.”

 

“What do you see?” Yifan accepts the cup gratefully, taking a sip, but immediately pulls back. His tongue is burned. Yifan fans it with his hand, glaring at the coffee mug.

 

Sitting down, Zitao stares at the swirling brown and sighs. “I see my own house and the houses that usually surround it. But… the only differences are the occupants and that color-changing sky. It turned color violet when you got here. Usually, it’s a calm shade of light blue or an odd orange.”

 

“Does that mean something?” Yifan sets his cup down and adjusts his position on the chair, nearly toppling over because it’s just a small thing. At that moment, Zitao’s eyes linger on the large splotch of blood on his abdomen. The upper part of his attire looks like a mutilated part of someone’s body, while the rest seem to be in good shape. It makes him unintentionally shiver.

 

“Probably. The sky changes every day. Don’t ask me why I know when the day changes; it’s a feeling. Moving on, ever since I got here, it never changes twice or thrice within a day. It just so happened that your arrival made it shift.” Zitao explains as best as he can, eyes darting briefly to the darker shade of violet outside. “Tell me, Yifan, what do you see outside?”

 

Tilting his head, the other male glanced at the window. He pauses, frowns, and rubs his eyes, as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing right now. “I see… fire.” Yifan sounds hesitant, scared even. “Is that normal? Zitao, why does it feel hotter all of a sudden?”

 

This time, Zitao mimicked Yifan’s actions, shaking his head when he doesn’t see anything out of the ordinary. “What are you talking about? I only see a peaceful neighborhood.”

 

However, Yifan starts to panic. He scoots backward, clumsily falling on the carpeted floor to the point where he’s caged between the coffee table and the couch. “I’m scared, Zitao! Your house is on fire!” Yifan looks terrified, the change from calm to horrified leaves Zitao clutching at his chest.

 

Why is this happening right now?

 

This is paradise, right? Everything is quiet ever since he got here, so why is Yifan experiencing this? Is all of this a lie? An illusion?

 

Just when Zitao thinks he’s seen Yifan’s worst side, the other male bursts in flames, the embers spreading all over the carpet like an unavoidable disease. Zitao feels himself scream. He can’t hear anything but the roar of flames suddenly rising up and crashing down on him. He’s burning, everything’s burning. The house is burning. He can’t see anything. His vision is blurred, turning black, melting… he can’t take it anymore!

 

 

“Zitao, wake up! Wake up!” someone is shaking him awake, a familiar pair of rough hands and that sweet voice filling his ears. Zitao opens his eyes hesitantly, instantly bursting in tears when Yifan’s face looms over him.

 

The dream is too real to disregard, too frequent to call as a coincidence. Ever since he dreamt about Yifan’s damnation in the afterlife, Zitao never left his side as best as he could. The older male couldn’t just tell Yifan that he’s seen his skin burnt to crisp by cobalt flames.

 

His parents once told Zitao that he should treasure the people closest to his heart because they are the ones who can easily disappear in the blink of an eye. Even if he’s not meant to live forever in this world, Zitao wants to cherish every waking moment with the person he loves, the person who makes him feel whole and oh so warm.

 

Only this man, this inspiration of his, can make his heart beat twice as fast. And if he suddenly loses him without prior notice, Zitao doesn’t know what will happen to his life. Will he be one of the broken hearted? Or will he be just as strong as the protagonists in tragic movies?

 

It’s hard to assume anything when everything around him is hardly constant. In fact, change is the only permanent thing in this world. Whether Zitao likes it or not, his hard work will eventually fade into blackness, swallowed up by the dreaded cry of the night.

 

Memories of his existence will disappear like a puff of smoke when the gust picks up. He’s scared of the possibilities that deviate from his envisioned way of living, terrified of being left alone in the void full of whispers and silent screams. Yes, all of it is too much to take, but a man like him overthinks too much. Loves too much until every single drop of love in his system is spent.

 

But, for now, he just wants to bask in the happiness given to him. Zitao needs it as a safeguard from all his insecurities. Because his worst enemy if himself.

 

Zitao closes his eyes tight as Yifan hugs him, tells him that he’s okay; he’s safe. It’s just a dream again. A useless dream like all the other visions he had in the middle of the night. Hopefully, it will be replaced with good dreams of the future ahead of them.

 

Zitao believes it for a second, a single moment. But when he glances outside, he stares at the dark violet sky casting a shadow over the whole neighborhood. The thick clouds coincidentally looking like terrifying claws ready to rip him to shreds.

 

Despite the assurance, he doesn’t know what to believe.