The color is like that of a movie from 1950's, everything is in grayscale, monochromatic, and bland. Do Kyungsoo later understands (at age of six) that he's probably seeing a hue, a contrast of black and white, and soon after, he wonders if all humans sees everything that way too.

But everything changes when he turns eight. His classmates are noisier this time, often investing on other people’s lives. He hears the sturdiest kid on their class fussing over the quiet one, (“Say, what colour is this?” “Black,”) gasping when he receives the response from him. He gives him a sardonic grin, and spews out the worst word he’s ever heard.

“Freak,”

He doesn’t understand why he has to be called like that. Kyungsoo sees monochrome too, (but he’s never been bothered about it by the other kids around him). His seatmate says that he couldn’t understand why their teacher calls it a blackboard when it’s green. Kyungsoo wants to retort that it’s black.

Everything has always been black.

And then he stumbles upon the appearance of Byun Baekhyun and Oh Sehun, his theories are proven wrong. Baekhyun tells him that the world is colourful, and that the sky is blue, the leaves of the trees are green, the sand is brown, and Sehun's hair is like the sand's colour. The taller kid supplements Baekhyun's statement with an enthusiastic nod and a list of things with its accompanied colour.

"Maybe there's just something wrong with your eyes, Kyungsoo." Baekhyun says, concern permeated on his tone. The other boy scrunches his nose in defeat, rubbing his eyes with his chubby fingers, silently hoping that he'll see colours soon.

He rushes back home, demanding a pair of eyeglasses from his parents. They seem to be understanding about it and immediately concede to his request. He gets a pair of specs, and Seungsoo laughs at his litte brother with round glasses askew on his button nose.

Kyungsoo blinks his eyes, hoping to see a change in his sight.

But there isn't any at all.

Seungsoo remains to be unattractive with his bed hair, his mother's smile is still wide, and his father's gentle stare is still there. The sky remains gray, and the trees are black.

"My playmate said that the world is colourful, why am I not seeing any of the green and red, or whatever they are at all?" He mutters, voice quivering in disappointment and fear. He sees his mother give him an apologetic stare, his father motioning his brother to talk to him.

Seungsoo smiles and ruffles his hair, "Come here little brother, let's have a talk."

***

“I’m a freak.” Kyungsoo says as soon as his older brother sits comfortably on their couch. The former follows him and repeats the same statement all over again.

Seungsoo sighs, “Kyungsoo, you’re not. It’s completely normal.”

The eight year-old looks at him, confused. Seungsoo gives him a timid smile in response, patting the space on his right, asking Kyungsoo to scoot closer to him. “You can’t see colours because you haven’t met your soulmate yet.”

“Soulmate? What’s that?”

Seungsoo breathes, tucking a hand on his chin while thinking deeply. “It’s a person that you have a strong connection with, one that will make you drawn to them even if you haven’t met them before.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t understand this; he has a strong connection with Baekhyun and Sehun too. They eat ice cream on Saturdays and make their assignment on Fridays. “You mean a friend?”

“Not entirely a friend, but it could be your friend. Grandpa told me once that when a soul descends to the earth, it is split and half. You’re like the half of this soul, and your soulmate is the other half. Do you get it now?” Seungsoo calmly explains, silently wishing that his little brother finally gets it this time.

Kyungsoo stays quiet for a long time, fidgeting on his seat. It’s vague, but he somehow gets the gist of it. His older brother grins and ruffles his hair for the second time, “Your soulmate will be the one who’ll let you see the colours of life, and just like them, you’ll be the one to paint colours in their eyes.”

Maybe he understands it a bit.

***

He’s nine when he asks Seungsoo if he’s already met his soulmate yet but his older brother shakes his head and answers,

“In time, Kyungsoo. In time.”

***

Seungsoo appears with a beautiful girl on a Sunday afternoon. Kyungsoo doesn’t forget the smile that was etched on his brother’s face and how he proudly announced that a rainbow flashed on his eyes, and colours have been splashed on his life.

It’s poetic, and Seungsoo is just thirteen at that time.

***

He’s fifteen when Baekhyun and Sehun decide to make it official. They’re practically attached to the hip since they were born so Kyungsoo wasn’t surprised when Baekhyun dashed to his house and tell him the good news (“Kyungsoo, Sehunnie asked me to be his boyfriend, isn’t that amazing?”.

Kyungsoo is happy for him, he is. Baekhyun looks the happiest this time, he exclaims about seeing the world even brighter, and even more colourful.

But more than being happy, Kyungsoo feels envious.

He longs to see the colours too,

And that person whom he’s meant to spend the rest of his life with.

***

He gives up when he turns twenty.

Kyungsoo decides that the whole thing about soulmates is stupid. It’s unfair. It’s stupid why you need someone just to see colours, and it’s unfair how everyone around him has gotten their stupid soulmates while he’s still stuck in the monochromatic world.

Maybe he’s meant to be like their old neighbour who never had the chance to taste a little bit of brightness in her life because she wasn’t meant to see her soulmate in this lifetime.

It’s unfair, it’s stupid, and it’s pointless.

“Kyungsoo, you’re practically the top in class, you’re going to ace the boards, why still study on a Friday evening.” Baekhyun whines, dragging the hem of his best friend’s shirt. “Come on, the night is still young.”

“And so am I.” Kyungsoo replies, fixing his specs with his index finger. His eyes roam on the different jargons printed on the medical textbook. “Go have fun in the party, I’m not joining.”

“Geez, Chanyeol has been inviting you for decades. Sehun and I are begging on our knees just for you to come.”

The doe-eyed male sighs, “It’s not like I’m asking you to insist, Baekhyun. Maybe you should have understood by now that I hate going to parties.”

“But we’re there!” Baekhyun insists, his frown getting deeper this time.

Kyungsoo scoffs, “You are also there in my Immunology Class which is not entirely different if I’m going to see you at a party.”

“Chanyeol prepared a lot this time, we even helped! There are lots of decorations and colourful desserts. It’s not even a party where you go get drunk and have a shoved in your . It’s for fun, trust me; we even have different colours of juices this time-”

Something snaps inside him, he slams his textbook on the table and stands to face Baekhyun. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, I don’t want to go to those things because I can’t see a damn colour?!”

“Soo-”

“You all make it seem so easy by saying that this thing is normal, but it ing isn’t! All of you don’t understand  how difficult it is to hear people gushing around how beautiful this world is, how happy they are because they’ve finally met that ing one while here I am-”

Kyungsoo pauses, hearing his best friend sob and seeing the tears that are now falling on Baekhyun’s eyes. He breathes deeply, mind wondering where all of his anger came from.

“I’ve always known how you felt, Soo.” Baekhyun says between his sobs, “I didn’t know how to cheer you up because I don’t know how to find your soulmate. But trust me when I say I looked for other ways on Google. E-how is .”

Kyungsoo snorts, and takes a tentative step towards Baekhyun. He lifts his hands and offers him a hug, “I’m sorry, Baek. I was just-”

“It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry if I’m being annoying too. I just want you to be happy.” Baekhyun admits sheepishly, with tears still falling from his eyes. “I know you’ll meet that person soon, but for now, you really have to join the party. Chanyeol wants to introduce his cousin who, I quote, came all the way from America just to attend my party.”

Kyungsoo laughs, “Alright, but if you don’t wipe your snot I’m going to change my mind.”

***

It’s probably a bad thing to attend a party a night before a dreaded long quiz from a terror professor but Kyungsoo doesn’t want to hurt his best friend more and maybe a change in routine wouldn’t hurt so badly.

He lets Baekhyun enter Chanyeol’s house first, the former had been insisting that he’ll surprise everyone with Kyungsoo’s presence. He wasn’t given any choice so he waited for the other male to call his name.  He waits, but his patience doesn’t last long. He drags his feet and annoyingly opens the door. He raises his head and meets the pair of eyes who is now staring at him.

The world stops.

The room is suddenly bright, and the once monochromatic sight he’s used to seeing changes with a splash of different colours. He removes his eyeglasses and rubs his eyes.

A tan-skinned male is in front of face, with the same horror-stricken face that he’s wearing. He grins, so wide that Kyungsoo is starting to feel his lips curl into a smile too.

Suddenly, all of the insecurities he once felt is gone.

“I’ve finally met you.” The stranger, no, his soulmate says. He smiles and repeats the same thing. “I’ve finally met you.”

Chanyeol’s boisterous voice suddenly comes out of nowhere, “Oh hey, seems like you’ve met my cousin, Kim Jongin! Jongin, this is my very good and dashing friend, Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, wait-”

Chanyeol blinks at them, and Baekhyun softly cheers at a distance (leaning onto his boyfriend even more). “You guys-”

Jongin grins and holds Kyungsoo’s hand. “Yeah, we are.”