Yunho walked into the pool hall hoping his friends didn’t know what happened the other day between Jaejoong and him. He was already embarrassed enough about the situation, and he didn’t want to hear the constant teasing from Changmin if said man ever found out.

“You poor, poor man.” Yoochun said shaking his head and holding a bottle of beer in his left hand as Yunho walked up to the pool table. “Jaejoong-hyung told me what happened.”

Changmin butted in, crooked eye smile in place, “Oooh, what happened Yunho-hyung?”

“Nothing,” Yunho quickly responded. “Nothing happened Changmin. Let’s just play pool.”

The four friends grabbed cue sticks and divided the teams by playing Rock-Paper-Scissors. Yoochun won the first round, and Changmin won the second round, so it became Yoochun and Yunho against Changmin and Junsu. Yoochun set down his beer on the bench near the pool table and lined up his shot to break the ball rack. Two stripped balls went into pockets.

 “What on Earth were you thinking proposing to him like that?” Yoochun asked.

 “You did what?” Junsu said shocked. Jaejoong and Yunho had been dating for seven years, but their friends never thought they would get married because one, they were clearly comfortable in their relationship the way it was, and two, gay marriage wasn’t legal in South Korea.

“I wasn’t going to propose to him that way!” Yunho rubbed blue chalk on the end of his cue stick and struck the cue ball, not hitting any other balls. “I wasn’t even sure how I was going to do it – I’m still not – but I was thinking about how unique he is, how he keeps our relationship exciting, and how much I love him during the movie marathon. I got caught up in the emotion of exactly how much I love him and mentioned marriage. I just happened to keep the engagement rings in my pocket ever since I bought them, and Jae thought I was proposing. I wasn’t! I swear!” the dancer said whining.

“I have to hear the full story,” said Changmin. He knew whatever went down between Yunho and Jaejoong was juicy.

“No, you don’t.”

“Come on Hyung,” Junsu said. “Maybe we can help.”

“Fine.”

 

 

Two weeks had passed since Yunho bought Cartier Love Collection engagement rings, but he couldn’t figure out how to propose to his boyfriend. They had been dating for a long time, and Yunho had just realized that, duh, while he couldn’t marry the love of his life in South Korea, there were other countries that allowed gay marriage. Yunho didn’t know why he hadn’t realized it sooner. He also didn’t know why the thought suddenly popped into his head while they were cuddling on the couch in the living room of their shared apartment having a “so lame it’s good” movie marathon.

“So lame it’s good” movie marathons were the sort of thing Jaejoong loved to have; Yunho didn’t understand the draw of those types movies, but he loved Jaejoong and knew this was one of the unique qualities Jaejoong had that made Jaejoong, well Jaejoong. And the man’s eccentricity kept their relationship exciting. Like the time Jaejoong had them sneak out of their dorm room during college in the middle of the night to cuddle and star gaze by the Han River. Yunho wondered how he could have ever dated anyone else and why he didn’t realize his love for the older man sooner.

“Jae, have you ever thought about marriage?”

“What?” He was confused as to why Yunho would bring the topic of marriage up now; it seemed so random during the end credits of a movie.

“I said, ‘Have you ever thought about marriage?’”

“Not really but I’m sure you have.” Jaejoong paused for a second to think. “We can’t even get married anyhow.”

“Oh.” Yunho was shocked to hear his boyfriend had never thought about marriage. His parents had a long, happy marriage, so the dancer assumed Jaejoong would have thought about it. Wouldn’t he want what his parents have? “Well there are places where gay marriage is allowed. What do you think of that?”

“Jung Yunho,” Jaejoong said turning to the other man, clearly shocked at what he just heard, “you are not proposing to me, are you?”

“Uh…” The man tried to think of a way to cover up what was actually turning into a proposal. “I’m not?” Well that was smart of him to say. It came out as more of a nervous question than a statement like he wanted it to be.

“I may be a man, but that is not how you propose to anyone.” The composer couldn’t help but wonder what the younger was thinking. Did Yunho think he was being romantic? Because proposing during the end credits of a Chinese vampire movie was not romantic. Proposals were supposed to be romantic, and some form of “I love you” should be said at least once! “Do you even have a ring?” He sincerely hoped there wasn’t one. That way, Jae couldn’t consider this a proposal.

Say something about how much you love him. Say something about how much you love him. Say something about how much you love him, Yunho repeated in his head like a mantra.

“I love you, and I have no rings?”

Smooth Jung Yunho, real smooth.

“Let me hold onto it until you come up with something better.”

 “Uh okay, Jaejoong. Whatever you say.” Yunho took the rings out of his pocket and handed them over, crestfallen at being shot down in one. Fell. Swoop.

 

 

Min said laughing, “Oh, Yunho that was just priceless!”

“You’re going to hold this against me, aren’t you?”

“Hm, well I don’t know…” Changmin took a shot and got a solid ball in. “…most likely.”

“Oh, you’re such a great friend Min,” Yunho said sarcastically.

“I know, aren’t I?”

“Yoochun,” the dancer said turning to the man, “I love Kim Jaejoong more than anyone knows, so why wouldn’t I want to spend the rest of my life with him?”

“It’s obvious how much you love each other Yunho-hyung, but asking someone to marry you requires romance – something you don’t know how to do. I would have thought you’d have learned it by now; but as it turns out, you haven’t. You know how to be sweet, but sweet does not equal romance.”

“Like this grease ball knows how to be romantic,” Junsu said pointing his thumb over his shoulder at Yoochun before bending down to line up his shot.

Yoochun said, “You know you love me Baby,” as he slapped Junsu’s .

Junsu bounced the cue ball off the table. “Sure I do Chun. It’s why I just fouled, and if I would have just got the eight ball in, Changmin and I could have won.”

“Oh, I know. If we get our last two balls and the eight ball in we could win.”

“Can you guys be more serious?” Yunho saw Junsu giving Yoochun the evil eye for slapping his . All three men looked at Yunho apologetically. “I know sweet doesn’t equal romance. I want to propose to Jae in a way that is as unique as he is. Something that says ‘I understand just how unique you are, and I love you for being that way and a million other ways.’ ”

“That’s asking a lot,” said Junsu.

“So? Jaejoong deserves the best, and I was hoping you could help me Yoochun. You are his best friend after all.”

Changmin thought about how weird his Jae-hyung was. “You can’t combine how unique Jaejoong-hyung is into a proposal. Nope. Can’t be done. He’s too weird.”

 “He can at least try Changmin,” Yoochun said. He saluted. “Propose-ee’s best friend Park Yoochun reporting for duty.”

“Thanks, Yoochun-ah.” Yunho went to the bar and ordered a beer. When he came back, he said, “Joongie likes dramas. What if I were to propose to him in the park in the middle of a huge ring of candles shaped like a heart?”

“Yeah he likes them, but that’s too clichéd. You want something original, remember? You’ll need something a little less public and more heartfelt,” advised Yoochun.

 

 

One Month Later

Yunho wondered why an alarm clock was going off on Jae and his day together. This was the first Saturday they both had off in weeks seeing as Yunho finished choreography preparations for a boy band’s first solo concert, and Jaejoong just finished the last preparations for a girl group’s album. To celebrate finally having time together, they were going to spend the whole day together in bed. The dancer was more than excited to spend time with his Boo, but why wouldn’t the darn alarm clock stop ringing? Oh, wait… It was Jaejoong’s cell phone. Yunho looked at the clock on the bedside table; it was 7:43 AM.

“It’s too early. Shouldn’t we be sleeping in? Jae, answer your phone!” he groggily yelled.

“What? Oh.” The elder blindly reached for his cell phone on the nightstand. “Hello?” There was a pause as the person on the other line talked. “What’s going on now?” He sighed and listened to the other person talk again. “Tch. How’d he catch a cold?” Another pause. “Yeah, I can come in and change the arrangement for him if he really has to record now and you don’t think he can reach the high notes, but I would prefer not to come at all.” A fourth pause. “He really can’t?” Jaejoong sighed again. “I’ll see you at 8:30.” The shorter shook his boyfriend who was half-asleep. “Yunnie? Wake up; I have to tell you something.”

“What? Can’t it wait till later?”

“No, it can’t. I am so, so sorry, but I have to go to SM today. They need me to change a vocal arrangement so an album can get out on time.”

“We can’t spend the whole day together?” Yunho whined sitting up.

“I’m sorry. I’ll most likely be back my midafternoon.” Jaejoong got out of bed and kissed his boyfriend. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.” Now Yunho was never going to get back to sleep! His day was ruined. He watched Jae’s back as he took his nightshirt off and put on a clean t-shirt from his dresser. He watched Jae grab what seemed like a clean pair of jeans from the floor and put them on, and he watched Jaejoong walk away.

“I’ll see you,” Jaejoong said stopping at the door and looking over his shoulder giving Yunho a longing look, “as soon as I can.”

“Sure.”

 

Jaejoong had lied. He was going to SM, but not for the reason his lover thought, and he felt bad about it because the last time they kept any secrets from each other was in the beginning of their relationship. On the other hand, he never thought he was such a good actor before.

Yunho can’t be mad at me after he sees what I’ve prepared today; he just can’t, thought the elder. What I’ve got planned is so much better than what we would have been doing anyway. Okay, maybe not so much better but better in the long run.

Jae picked up his cell phone, his Bluetooth headset, put said device in his ear, and dialed the person who called him earlier. “Hello?”

 “Miyoung-ah? Hi. Thanks so much for calling this morning. I don’t think I could pull this off without you.”

“It’s no problem Oppa. I’m happy to help you and Yunho-oppa.”

“Are you sure no one minds us using the room today?”

“Behind closed doors, people here are more open-minded than you think. They know how much you two are in love, so they don’t mind. It’ll be fine.”

“I really owe you one.”

“Just invite me to the wedding, okay?”

“Of course we will Miyoung-ah. I’ll text you how everything goes.”

“You better,” she laughed. “Hwaiting!”

“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Jaejoong ended the call.

There was only ten more minutes until the composer would arrive at SM. He was so nervous thinking about what he was going to be doing later in the day. Would Yunho like it? Would he think the song Jae wrote was too sappy? Would he be willing to dance? There were so many questions; however, Jaejoong already knew the answer to his biggest question.

 

 

The glowing green lights on the alarm clock read 9:00, and Yunho knew for a fact that he wasn’t going to fall back asleep. Well that was just great. Now what was he supposed to do for the rest of the day? He knew the first thing to do was get out of bed – the bed planned on spending most of the day in with his lover.

The dancer got up, put on his slippers and bathrobe, and made his way to the kitchen. “Ugh, I guess it’s just cold cereal this morning,” he said to himself. “I don’t get to eat pancakes with butter and warm syrup with Jaejoong. Boo, you would have made the syrup taste so much better!”

 

Jaejoong surveyed the audition room from the door. There was the old BoA poster on the left wall, the old H.O.T. poster on the right wall, and the old SM TOWN poster on the back wall. The judges table was in the middle of the room with a boom box on the right end, and there was a keyboard set up in the front of the room on the left. The room looked almost the same as it did when Jaejoong first entered it as a wannabe trainee all those years ago. Jae thought it was too bad being a trainee and a singer didn’t work out, but almost as soon as he had the thought, it was gone because he was glad with how things turned out. He knew he would miss the freedom he had now – the freedom that allowed him to propose to his boyfriend – if he was an idol.

 

 

Yunho answered the door. “Thanks for coming over Junsu. I was bored out of my mind.”

Coming in to the apartment, Junsu took off his shoes. “It’s no problem, but where’s Jae-hyung? I thought you were going to lock yourselves in here for the next two days.”

“Don’t remind me!” Yunho was definitely mourning the loss of his BooJae.

They walked into the living room. Junsu sat on the sofa, and Yunho went to the Xbox and turned it on.

“Let’s play Gears of War ‘cause I could really stand to blow some stuff up and kill people.” He put in the game.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Junsu asked smirking.

The older man tossed a controller to Junsu before sitting in the armchair. “Do you know how busy Jaejoong and I have been the past few weeks? Do you? Because I don’t think you do. ‘Cause if you did, you would understand how frustrated I am,” the older man said in a huff.

“Whoa, calm down Yunho-hyung. You can take all your frustrations out in the game by killin’ some Locust.”

“We’ll see how that goes.”

After thirty-five minutes of playing, Yunho threw his controller on the sofa. “Junsu, I’m tired of eating take out!”

“What?” Junsu couldn’t help but think that not spending time with Jaejoong was slowing driving Yunho insane. “What’d you do to make Jaejoong-hyung mad this time?”

“That’s just the thing. I didn’t do anything wrong! He has been in Composer Mode. Do you know what Composer Mode means?” Junsu figured it was best just to let Yunho ramble. “It means he’s just not casually composing, but in deep concentration, and this time it’s because Jae’s working with SM – you know how picky they can be; I can’t bother him or he’ll get mad, and he’s in his music room for hours on end! I haven’t any quality time with Jaejoong in weeks! Weeks! Quickies in the shower in the morning or late at night before we go to sleep will only take so much of the edge off; a deprived man can only take so much! We were going to have smexy times today! Did you know Boo was going to make pancakes, and we were going to eat them in bed and that syrup was more than just for the pancakes?”

“Ew, I don’t need details.”

Suddenly the chorus of “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder was heard in the room. “It’s BooJae’s ringtone.” Yunho put his head in his hands. “Should I answer it?”

“Of course you should answer it, you pabo. You haven’t been whining about nothing.”

The pathetic man reached over to the coffee table, picked up his cell phone, and pressed the green answer button. “Hello?”

“Hi Yunho. What have you been doing while I was gone?”

Stay casual, thought Yunho. Don’t let him know much you miss him.

“Oh um yeah. Not much. Junsu’s over now. Yup and we’ve been playing Gears of War. So what’s up?”

“I was just calling because I’ve got some free time right now, and I wondering if you wanted to meet for lunch.”

Yunho moved the phone away from his ear. “He wants to meet for lunch. Should I go? He did make me miss out on smexy times,” pouted Yunho. “Pretty sure I’m mad at him for that.”

Junsu thought the other man was an idiot. Why complain about not spending time together and then wonder if he and his boyfriend should meet for lunch or not? “You miss the man. Go have lunch.”

Yunho put the phone back up to his ear. “Sure. Where do you want to eat?”

“Let’s got to Café Rocco. I’m craving for one of their Rueben sandwiches.”

“Isn’t that across town from where you are now?”

“Please, can we go there?”

“Okay, fine. I’ll see you soon.”

“Thanks Yunnie! You’re the best. I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too.”

 

 

Jaejoong looked around Café Rocco when he walked in. Three walls were all windows. He liked how bright it made the room. About one third of the way back from the front door was an l-shaped counter where the register and pastry cases were, and hanging on the wall above the counter was a sign that read what food and drinks the café had to offer. Scattered all around the room were tables and chairs. Jaejoong walked to the counter and ordered a cappuccino.

He was sitting at a small table by the window when he saw Yunho walk in and scan the room for him, and boy was Yunho ever looking good. Yet, Jae knew his boyfriend didn’t dress up or do anything different with is hair any more so than he usually did. Maybe he just missed the other man. He felt all the love he had for Jung Yunho bubble up in his chest and knew the memories they were going to make that day would last a lifetime.

Yunho noted how busy the café was as he looked for Jaejoong. It took him about five minutes to spot his other half to left of where he was standing, and when he did, Kim Jaejoong was looking radiant like there was some sort of glow around him. Yunho never realized until that moment just how much he missed his lover; it was as if he could breathe again. His eyes met Jaejoong’s while the latter held a medium sized white porcelain cup up to his lips. As the man set down his cup, a huge smile spread across Jaejoong’s face.

The composer stood up and said, “Yunho!” as the dancer walked to the table.

They tightly embraced each other with Yunho’s chin resting on Jaejoong’s head. “You don’t know how much I missed you Boo.”

“I think I do; I missed you too,” he said laughing.

They let go of each other. “Did you order yet?”

“Nothing besides my coffee.”

They walked up to the counter. Jaejoong ordered a turkey, ham, and Swiss Reuben sandwich on rye bread with chips; and Yunho ordered a BLT on wheat bread, chips, and a medium cola.

Then they went back to the table to wait for their food. “Do you remember the first time we came to Café Rocco?” Jaejoong said.

“No, I don’t. We’ve been coming here for what? Seven years now?”

“Yeah, about that long. This is where we had our first date.”

“Oh that’s right. I was more nervous about it than any other date I had before.”

The shorter laughed. “I could tell. But you know, I was nervous too.”

“Really? I never noticed.”

“If we knew half of what we know now about our relationship back then, we could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble.”

Yunho laughed. “I shouldn’t have cared so much about what people thought of us.”

“And I shouldn’t have let that bother me so much. We should have also known that our relationship wouldn’t be like the ones we had with girls and that we could figure things out together.”

Their food arrived, and the couple ate in companionable silence for the next few minutes. Then they started reminiscing more about all the things they’ve been through together from the disbandment of Four Seasons and getting kicked out of SM to choosing their majors in college to telling their parents about their relationship to Jaejoong finding out he’s adopted and so much more.

They finished their lunch and stood up when Jae said, “I almost forgot Yunho. They need to talk to you today at SM.”

“About what?”

“I’m not exactly sure. Something about you becoming a dance instructor for them.”

“It seems weird that they would have you tell me instead of them calling or sending an email.”

“Yeah, but it seems like a good opportunity for you. Why don’t you just go and talk with them? It couldn’t hurt.”

“You’re right.”

 

 

They arrived at SM fifty-five minutes later, and Jaejoong led Yunho to the room he prepared earlier. Yunho was confused. They weren’t going to meet people from SM in an office but in an audition room? Something seemed fishy. It was then that the dancer looked around the room. Why where old posters up on the walls, and why was Jaejoong standing at the piano?

The composer looked at his boyfriend. “This was my audition song.” He began to play “As Long as You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys.

Yunho listened to the other man play it but couldn’t figure out why. He was confused. When Jae finished the song, he went over to the boom box. “It was here at SM and because of a try-out in this room that we met thirteen years ago.” He pressed play. Yunho immediately recognized his audition song “Beat It” by Michael Jackson. “Will you dance Yunho?”

“Uh, I haven’t danced to this song in a while but sure.” Yunho’s dancing was fluid and on point.

Jaejoong paused the CD when the song was over. “Either you’ve been secretly dancing to Beat It or you never forget choreography.”

“I haven’t danced to a Michael Jackson song with the original choreography since college.”

“Then you must never forget choreography.” Jaejoong grinned. “Speaking of college. Do you remember,” Jaejoong pressed play again, “this song?”

It took Yunho thirty seconds to recognize the song. “Oh man! I haven’t heard or thought of our song from the Senior Showcase in ages.” The Senior Showcase in college was something Seoul National University had every year. Dance majors had to choreograph and perform a dance using a song senior music majors wrote and music majors had to compose a song for a dance major or score for a film major. Yunho and Jaejoong got the highest grade and best reception at the Senior Showcase the school had ever seen. The dancer assumed his lover would ask him to dance to this one too, so he began to dance.

As the next song came on, Jaejoong began to sing

.

“If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?”

Yunho realized he had never heard the song before.

“If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?”

Jaejoong must have written me an original song, thought Yunho.

“If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call? / If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all? / I never know what the future brings / But I know you’re here with me now / We’ll make it through and I hope / You are the one I share my life with”

Yunho was confused again. What…what is all of this? he thought.

“I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand / If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? / Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? / If I don’t need you, then why am I crying on my bed? / If I don’t need you, then why does your name resound in my head? / If you’re not for me, then why does this distance name my life? / If you’re not for me, then why do I dream of you as my spouse?”

Jaejoong is proposing! That means… That means...he wasn’t called into work this morning. Oh. He was setting this up.

“I don’t know why you’re so far away / But I know that this much is true / We’ll make it through and I hope / You are the one I share my life with / And I wish that you could be the one I die with / And I pray that you’re the one I build my home with / I hope I love you all my life / I don't wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand / If I’m not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? / Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? / ‘Cause I miss your body and soul so strong / That it takes my breath away / And I breath you into my heart / And I pray for the strength to stand today / ‘Cause I love you whether it’s wrong or right”

The song ended and Yunho just stood there in awe. “Oh, Jaejoong-ah that was…that was…beautiful.” He didn’t know what else to say.

 “Yunnie-yah, you are a forgetful pabo who always leaves the cap off the toothpaste, hogs the blankets and more than half the bed, and you’re a person who doesn’t know how to propose to someone to save his life. But you know what? You’re my forgetful pabo who always leaves the cap off the toothpaste, hogs the blankets and more than half the bed, and doesn’t know how to propose, and even though those things annoy the crap out of me, I wouldn’t want with anyone else because I love you just the way you are. You are a handsome, loving, kind, generous, and understanding person.

 “You’ve helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life, and for that I am forever grateful. Jung Yunho, you are the love of my life, and I would be lost without you.” The older man walked over to Yunho and pulled out a velvet ring box, which contained the rings the younger had bought, and opened it. “Will you marry me?”

“Of course, Jaejoongie. Of course I will!” Jaejoong put an engagement ring on Yunho’s right ring finger, and Yunho did the same to Jaejoong. Yunho then held Jae’s head with both hands and kissed him hard, passionately, and with all the love he could muster. Jaejoong’s hands tangled in Yunho’s hair. They parted for air minutes later and Yunho wrapped his arms around fiancée’s waist saying, “You do know that you’re going to make up for what we missed out on doing today, right?”

“After a kiss like that, of course I know. You’ll just have to wait to see what else I have planned at home.” Jae winked.

They held hands and walked out of the room towards the parking lot. “How did you ever decide to ask me to marry you like that?”

“Well I wanted to connect our past, present, and future. Our past is where we had lunch and in our reminiscing, in the audition room and in our collaborative song; our present is in the song I wrote and in me writing it; and our future is in our marriage.” Yunho leaned over and pecked Jaejoong on the lips. “You know the album you thought I was working on the past month? I was actually planning this marriage proposal during that time.”

“You sneaky bastard,” chuckled Yunho. “I don’t know how you kept it a secret.”

Jaejoong laughed too. “Gosh it was near impossible.” Moments later Yunho had his car door open when he heard Jaejoong remark from his car, “And Yunho?”

“Yes?”

“That is how you propose to someone.”