Lee Sem and Eunji left. As in, they were no longer a part of Nine Muses. Moon Hyuna understood why. Well she tried to understand. They wanted better. They deserved better. And maybe by leaving, they’ll get better.

Moon Hyuna, along with the rest of the members, were upset when they decided that it was best if they left. Sem and Eunji were talented members whose places had to be filled. But more importantly, they were two friends that they all had grown close to. She couldn't be mad at them though. In fact, she was almost happy that they got out. They can live their life how they want without the ties of a group holding them back. They didn’t have to suffer anymore. Hyuna was not about to stop them from getting what they deserve and she was certainly not going to let their “graduation” ruin their relationship. She respected them too much for that.

But now, they all had to worry about how they were going to replace the missing spots in the group and what the fans would think about it. Hyuna would be lying if she said she wasn't stressed out. Sem and Eunji were well liked among the fans. What if their fans gave up on the group because they left? Nine Muses was finally making (some) progress after the four comebacks last year and now the fans receive bad news after how hard they worked. Hyuna could only imagine how upset they were.

She’s seen what their fans have been saying. She can't help but read what they think about what's going on. Sera told her she's only making herself more upset, but it's important to know what the fans think. They were the reason Nine Muses made progress, so it was only fair that the girls gave them what they wanted - to some extent, obviously.

“Year after year, they still have yet to hit daebak. We keep trying to bring them up but now two members are gone. There’s no point anymore,” one comment had said.

Hyuna felt as if she let the fans down. She felt responsible, in a way, being the eldest of all the members. She should be doing something to make the fans feel better, but there was nothing she could do.

Her main responsibility at the moment was to help figure out how they can work around the two obvious gaps in their dance formations as well as redistribute lines in their songs. She, Sera, and Hyemi were the ones who mainly worked on the line distribution while all the girls worked to fix the formations. It didn’t seem to matter how hard they tried though, because there was always one or two of them that missed their new line or a step in the new dance. They were distracted. But it was the best they could do, at least until they finished all their events and released new music again.

-

Now it was May. The past months had flown by in a blur and Hyuna only felt numb. Normally, she would be with one of the girls almost every day of the week, even after events, and on the weekends, she would either be with Hyemi or Sera. But these days, she barely sees them outside of their company building or after schedules.

What’s happening to us?

She found herself asking that question almost everyday ever since Sem and Eunji left. They just weren’t the same.

Even Sera had been acting off lately, Hyuna noticed. She was not her bright and cheery self like normal. She rarely texts in the Namyu group chat, and more noticeably, she doesn’t call or text Hyuna as much as she used to. Hyuna tried passing it off as stress from recent events but she knows there is something more. She doesn’t have the courage to ask the other girl just yet, in fear of pushing the wrong buttons, but she will soon.

Recently, the girls have been recording some songs to try to come back in the summer, but nothing was confirmed yet. The recording studio felt empty without Sem and Eunji there. Hyuna couldn't decide if it was harder recording only seven parts for a new song or if it was harder rearranging their old songs to fit seven people. Either way, it didn't feel right. Nothing has felt right since Sem and Eunji left.

“We are Nine Muses,” Erine had stated one day while they were in the studio. “There's supposed to be nine of us. Not seven. How can we keep going if we aren’t living up to our own name?”

Hyuna knew that Erine was always iffy about the group, but the last thing they needed around them was negative energy.

“There's nothing we can do,” Hyuna softly replied. “We just need to keep working.”

Erine scoffed and crossed her arms. Hyuna looked to Sera for help but she was just staring down at her hands. She frowned at Sera’s lack of interest while the rest of the girls glanced around wearily.

“I just don't see the point. Why are we-” Hyuna held up her hand to stop her from saying anything more.

“Erine-ah, please. Not now.”

She wasn't in the mood to deal with this. Not after days without proper sleep. Recording new songs has taken a toll on all of them, but at least none of them were complaining. Though Hyuna guesses they can only hold it in for so long until they break. She sighed and started rubbing her temples when she felt a headache coming on.

After Erine’s little outburst, the girls quietly started talking about other things amongst themselves while Hyuna got lost in her thoughts.

They have to hold on a little longer, she told herself. They just need to stay strong, especially for the fans. It’ll be worth it.

Sera didn’t say a word to her that day.

-

It was only two weeks later when Hyuna received the terrible news.

Sera was leaving. She was leaving the group.

Hyuna felt her heart physically drop in her chest as she replayed the scene over and over again.

There weren’t enough words to describe the emotions that rushed through her body after what she was told.

Anger. Confusion. Sadness. And most of all, betrayal.

How could Sera do this? After everything they’ve worked for, how could she just give up?

Hyuna shook her head.

No. She shouldn’t say that. Sera only wanted better. Like Sem and Eunji did. Like all of them did.

“Her contract is up. She’s not going to stay.”

Those words kept echoing throughout her head as she sat alone in an office of the company building. She couldn’t move. Her body was frozen in shock. She could only stare at the bare wall in front of her as she tried to process what was said to her. Her mind was jumbled with a bunch of upsetting thoughts.

Apparently, she was the last to know about this, which explains why everyone seemed to be acting cautious around her. Sera didn’t even bother to tell her herself.

Where did it all go wrong?

They had been making progress. They were finally performing comfortably at events and recording songs with just the seven of them. Over the past couple of weeks, Hyuna and the girls had started meeting up outside of work again.

Without Sera, Hyuna realized. She dropped her head into her hands to stop the oncoming sting in her eyes.

Now it makes sense. Why Sera had been disappearing after events. Why she was slowly talking less and less in their group chats.

Was this Hyuna’s fault? Had she been making Sera feel excluded? Why didn’t Sera try to reach out and talk to her about this beforehand?

Hyuna had so many questions. And she needed answers. She just can't let Sera leave.

At that exact moment, the door to the office opened. Hyuna lifted her head and felt her breath catch in . Of course it was Sera. Hyuna didn’t feel ready to face her like this. She didn’t feel prepared. What was she even supposed to say?

“Hey,” Sera said quietly, shutting the door behind her. It looked as if she was about to come sit next to Hyuna but then decided against it, choosing to stand instead. The tension in the room only thickened and suddenly Hyuna couldn’t stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She closed her eyes, hoping it’d stop them from falling, and clenched her fists.

“I think we should talk,” Sera continued slowly. With a sudden rush of anger, Hyuna snapped her eyes open and glared at the smaller girl.

“Now you want to talk to me?” she shouted, standing up from her seat. “What is going on with you these days? Why are they telling me you’re leaving?”

Sera looked down at the ground, seemingly anxious. She took too long to answer, which only confirmed that it was true. She was leaving the group. Leaving her.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” she whispered.

Hyuna stared at her, overwrought with emotion. The pain in her chest made her bottom lip quiver as she struggled to keep her tears at bay. She wrapped her arms around herself, almost as if to comfort herself from the hurt she was experiencing.

It didn’t help though. Nothing could help.

Sera was leaving. She wanted to be angry with her. She wanted to scream and yell at her for doing this to the group.                                                   

Hyuna wasn’t even this upset when Sem and Eunji left. They had to leave to take care of their health and Hyuna understood that. Sera was doing the same thing because she needed to get out. But to Hyuna, Sera’s different. She’s special. She helped Hyuna feel welcome when she first joined the group and made her feel more confident about her singing. Hyuna felt they had a special relationship. Because of that, she couldn’t help but feel more hurt by the fact that Sera didn’t come talk to her about wanting to leave the group.

“I don’t understand.” Hyuna swallowed hard as she finally broke. Tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks. She huffed and angrily wiped them away. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of her. She hated the look Sera was giving her.

“Please don’t cry,” Sera pleaded, taking a step forward. Hyuna shook her head and backed away.

“You can’t leave.” Her voice was suddenly unstable and higher than normal. She hated herself for crying so easily. She shouldn’t be reacting this way.

“Hyuna, I have to. Don’t you get it?” Sera began to cry too and reached up to wipe her own tears. “I’ve given up so much to be a part of the group and I get practically nothing in return. We’ve worked so hard to put our name out there for the past four years, especially last year. And what did we get? Nothing. The company is barely doing anything to help us. I’m so tired of being stressed out to do my best when I don’t get anything out of it. This place is the life out of me and I have to stop it. I don’t remember what it’s like to genuinely feel happy. Ever since Hyunjoo and Eunji left, I’ve been feeling so alone.”

“But you have me. You have the girls. We’re here for you. And the fans too. What about them? They love you, you can’t leave them behind. Aren’t we enough?” Hyuna stared at Sera, blurred by her tears, who simply crossed her arms and looked away. There was a part of her that knew Sera had already made her decision, but she had to keep trying.

“I love them. And I love you guys too, but I just can’t do it anymore. I’m sick of going through this every year. I need to put myself first for once.” 

Hyuna bit back an oncoming sob and closed her eyes to prevent more tears. It was no use. Tears continued to flow as she thought about the future of the group. If there even was a future at this point.

This isn’t how it's supposed to end. She isn’t supposed to just leave like this.

“Sera, please just listen to me. You can’t leave us. We need you. I need you,” she begged, but Sera didn’t look convinced.

Hyuna was desperate. She felt betrayed and angry that Sera didn’t talk to her or warn her about wanting to leave the group. Her heart pounded in her chest as she thought of a way to make Sera stay.

Blinded by her frustration, she stated, “If you leave, I’ll never talk to you again.”

Sera looked at her in disbelief. “Hyuna, you can’t…”

“I’m serious,” Hyuna affirmed, crossing her arms.

If she valued their relationship, then surely she would stay.

Sera stood there in silence for what seemed like hours.

“It’s too late. I already told them I wouldn’t be signing a new contract with them. I’m sorry.” She walked closer to Hyuna and placed a hand on her forearm. “Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean we should stop talking to each other. We’re still friends.”

Hyuna shook her head. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sera didn’t want to stay with her. She didn’t want to be a part of the group and fight their way to the top. She was leaving the girls to fend for themselves.

And with that last thought, Hyuna walked past Sera and left the room without looking back. She can’t look at Sera without feeling an ache in her chest. She just couldn’t stand it anymore.

Sera leaving means the worst for Nine Muses.

That’s because if Sera leaves, they lose yet another talented member.

If Sera leaves, they lose a member that is absolutely adored by fans.

If Sera leaves, they lose a member that has always been there for them.

If Sera leaves, they lose the only member who seemed truly worthy enough to hold the leader title.

If Sera leaves, Hyuna loses the one she always looked up to and admired the most.

If Sera leaves, Hyuna loses a dear friend that helped her become more confident with her singing and dancing.

And that’s why Hyuna believed that she wouldn’t be able to speak to Sera ever again if she left.

Because if she does leave, Hyuna loses the sole reason she joined Nine Muses in the first place.