You wonder down the stairs, hushed murmurings coming from the living room, accompanied by the sound of coughing and fevered breaths. Squeaking from the floorboards underneath you causes the murmurings to stop, the people inside alerted to your presence. One of them leaves towards the kitchen and you spot the other inside, leaning against the radiator in the comfort of several blankets and pillows. He spots you and smiles, plump lips arching up, sweat dripping down his brow, its obviously forced, the pain too much to produce a true smile, but it pleases you nonetheless, causes your heart to jolt and jump.

"Ah...hyung" He reaches a hand out of the blankets and reaches for yours, drawing you closer as he clings to it, his clammy palm slapping against your own dry one. You crouch down to reach his eye-level to pat his head, placing your hand underneath the once fluffy brunette hair that's sticking to it, checking the obscene temperature his forehead radiates.

"Do you want something?" It's the only solace you can give. If you could you would share his pain, fight it together, but you can't. It's been a long time since you've seen him this weak. His strong form curled in on itself, fighting whatever wrecks his body from the inside.

"Can you make me your hot-chocolate hyung?" You smile and nod, stand back up tall and make your way to the kitchen.

Bae is sat down on one of the chairs near the computer. His hand keeping up the weight of his chin.

"It's horrible. Going through that damn flu or whatever, I've never had it so bad." You recall the week before, it was Christmas and Bae was going through the exact same thing, curled up in multiple blankets, and constant shivering, seeming to have caught it from some random person at the party on Christmas Eve.

"Go get some sleep Bae, me and the maknae can look after him for the rest of the night."

"Hah! Maknae still has a hangover from yesterday! Get Seunghyun-hyung to do it." He vacates his chair and passes you, resting a quick hand on your shoulder. "Night Ji." You hear his footsteps make their way to the living room where your dongsaeng is currently residing. The entire group had insisted he should stay in the comfort of his room but he persuaded you all. Saying he was bored and he should at least be allowed to watch the T.V to distract him from the headaches that cursed him every second.

You turn on the kettle and grab his favourite mug. It has that damned blue cat all over it. He says he isn't obsessed with it anymore, but when you threatened to throw out all his merchandise he insisted on keeping at least this mug. You chuckle, remembering the horror on his face as you took the 2 large bags of merch out of his room. The room was practically empty after that, but at least the damn doll wasn't staring at you from all angles.

Usually when you make hot-chocolate you put at least 3 large-heaped spoons of sugar in, but seeing as he didn't have quite the sweet tooth you did you chose to only put one in. Sweeten it a little to give him the energy to fight that damned cold. Once finished you took the warm mug of liquid to him. His lips turned up at the sight of you and the mug. He reached out his hands and grabbed it, blowing on it slightly before taking a sip. He frowns. So do you.

"What's wrong?"

"It doesn't taste right hyung...I wanted your hot-chocolate." He's still frowning but takes another sip. You reach out to grab it but he pulls his hands away. "Next-time hyung." Then he smiles at you again. So do you. He shoo's you off with his hand, not wanting you to catch whatever he has and turns back to the cartoons playing on the T.V while sipping on the drink.

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It's reaching 1am when you hear Hyung conversing with Bae outside your door. You yawn and press your ear against it.

"I'm going to take him to the hospital, he seems to be struggling to breathe."

"Are you sure? I can take him if you want?"

"Nah, you still need to rest from the cold, I'll take him." You can almost hear Bae pouting from the other side of the door.

You open your door and poke your head out.

"Need me to come with?" Seunghyun-hyung already has Dae in his arms, holding him tight to his chest.

"Go sleep Ji, you have a meeting with Sajangnim at 6." You relent, unworried. Daesung-ah had took Bae to hospital the week before for the exact same reason. It only took a shot of pure oxygen for him to return to you. You wave your arm dismissively and retreat back to bed. Eager to sleep.

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It was Monday morning when Seunghyun-hyung took Dae to the hospital. Hyung said that it seemed a bit more serious than Bae and he has pneumonia, not flu, but he should be home soon, just wait. So that's what you do. Fill yourself with work for the next few days in an effort to distract you from your nagging heart that's whispering pessimistic thoughts to you about the wellbeing of your favourite dongsaeng.

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It's now Wednesday and you haven't had the chance to go to the hospital to see Dae, YG just forcing more tasks on you. When you finally reach home at 8pm that night the maknae pulls you into a hug. You're surprised. Although the both of you are affectionate and share skinship often this is somehow different to those times. He pulls you towards the sofa in the living room and sits down besides you. Bae enters as well. Their expression's grim. You can fear tears welling up in your eyes, though no one in the room has said anything, the silence speaks. Practically yells what they want to tell you.

Seungri opens his mouth to say something. But something has caught his tongue and he can't.

"We went to see Dae earlier. He was all happy, and then...he complained, his toe went numb. So they took him in for a scan. Only he needed to be put to sleep for them to do it." You see tears start to well in Bae's eyes. Tears are already running down the maknae's reddened cheeks. "It was a blood clot Ji. It wasn't just the one either."

You feel your blood run cold. Your hands turn to ice and it's a relief they forced you to sit, because the shake in your legs would have caused you to immediately fall to the ground in despair. The tears aren't welling anymore. They've fallen. They don't stop. Your breathing turns into shallow gasps and you cling to Seungri, The two of you crying on each other's shoulders hard. Both of your tops  soaked in salt.

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It took a lot for the two to wrangle you to bed. You kept fighting back, clawing and scratching in rebellion as they told you that it was too late to go visit Dae and that 'you shouldn't drive in your state.' However once you touched your mattress sleep hit you hard, the sheer amount that you cried had exhausted you.

It was 7am when you made your way downstairs. Bae and Seungri already at the table sipping at their coffee in silence, waiting for you to wake up. You all nod silently, words aren't needed. All of you of the same mind. Seungri tries to smile at you, but it falters as he realises you aren't reciprocating it. The two solemnly stand up. Bae grabs his keys and you all exit the lonely dorm to his car.

The ride there isn't any louder. You have your earphones in, trying to escape the down atmosphere within the car. When you drive up to the hospital you are the first one out. By the time Seungri and Bae reach you at the reception they see you shouting at one of the nurses, demanding to see your dongsaeng. Bae grabs your wrist and shakes his head at you. An effort to calm you, you suppose. Either that or to stop you from drawing attention to yourself. It doesn't work.

You follow the poor nurse towards the lift. Your eyes widen as she tells you he's in the ICU. That he hasn't woke up after the medicine-induced coma wore off. You almost punch her but Bae's still tight grip on your wrist holds you back. Once the lift reaches it's floor you run out and race to the room she said he was resting in. Inside you find Seunghyun-hyung and Dae's parents sat next to a motionless expanse of caramel skin, covered in a white medical robe. They see you and try to smile. It doesn't fill you with any happiness though.

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It's Saturday now. Everyday since Wednesday you stayed by Dae's side. The other's urged you to go home, take a shower but you refused. How could you leave your precious dongsaeng alone? What if he woke up? He would panic surely.  You couldn't leave him to that. What did having greasy hair matter when it happened? You just hoped that the words you muttered to him got through to him. That the 'wake up please''s, 'I need you''s and 'I love you''s reached him somehow. But still he remained frozen. Not a flinch of his paling fingers. His body was getting colder and the beeping from the life-support machine was getting louder, echoing in your ears. Nurses and doctors swarmed the room. You just sat in the chair beside him, your eyes glazed over. One of the nurses took your hand and gently nudged you to another room, away from the foreign bodies surrounding your dongsaeng.

One by one Dae's closest friends and family entered the room you were ushered to. Then a doctor. He sits down and takes a deep breath.

"Although we administered a blood-thinning medicene, The blood clots had already spread. They've reached a vessel leading towards his brain and the pressure from the build up of blood and the lack of oxygen has nearly destroyed the left hemisphere. Currently his chance of survival is minimal but if you want to we can try and release some of the pressure and then wait for him to wake up. That is if he wakes up. If not, we will turn off the life-support and administer pain-killers and allow him to pass away peacefully."

Your heart sinks. Tears are now streaming down your face and everyone else's in the room before you even realise it. You pull the person closest to you in an effort to find some warmth in an otherwise cold room. The smell of bleach and cleanliness only adding to the emptiness surrounding you and it makes you want to puke. Seungri clings to you. Under his breath you can hear him muttering 'no' repeatedly, trying to deny the reality of losing his hyung. You don't blame him. Beside you Seunghyun-hyung is grasping tightly onto Bae's hand. One of them looking to the floor, a small puddle forming at his feet. The other looking into the sky, hand clasped to his heart, reciting prayers of any kind. Across the room, Daesung's sister and parents are cuddled together, seeking refuge in each others arms. His father's eyes alight with anger, silently describing how a parent should never see their child go before them. His mother is wailing 'why?' and you can't help but think the same. What did your kind loveable dongsaeng ever do to deserve this? For the time you had known him, he had drawn the short straw of luck, getting into various accidents and trouble to no fault of his own. You remember how he persevered through all that pain and you could see him change, his small eyes slowly growing brighter again and his smile returning to his face unforced. His happiness rekindled, and now this. Now you would never see his precious smile again. The smile that could light up a room from darkness. How useful that smile would be now. Oh, the irony. You would laugh but everything about this situation stops you.

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His family left to another room. Forced to debate the life of their son. You don't pity them in the least. Would they give him a chance? It meant if he woke up he would be forced to live as a cripple. Get wheeled everywhere, possibly unable to sing, perform or play the drums ever again. But he would be alive, and perhaps they could live together in happiness and he could find another reason to live. Perhaps watch a small child grow into an adult. You wouldn't mind that. If Daesung wanted it, you would take him anywhere and give him whatever he wanted. You would give up all your fame and money for him. That was If Daesung wanted it. You weren't sure he would. Could he bear to live like that? Trapped in his body, unable to do the things he loved? Would he even be the same? The damage done means he might even be a complete different person. Perhaps it was more humane to allow him to sleep forever, be forever remembered as the smiling angel that brought warmth and love to the hearts of the entire world.

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Only you and Seunghyun were awake when the Doctor and Dae's family re-entered the small room. The choice had been made.

Each person had their time to say goodbye before pain-killers would be administered and the machine would turn off. You thought no more tears would come, but they could and they did. Heavily.

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You grasped his fingers tight and pulled them to your lips. Caressing his gaunt face with your left hand. his soft locks that framed his uncharacteristically handsome face. You buried your face in his abdomen after the short kiss with his hand. Memories of happier times forcing their way into your mind. The first time you ever confessed to him. Him smiling in return and pulling you into a tight hug. Times on stage when the two of you would share a secret glance as the two pairs proceeded with their fan service. The dates spent in various exotic places, often on secret getaways. He always teased how you were a hidden romantic, how unlike your tough b-boy image it was. Only proven by the time when he came home and found a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom. He had laughed then, fallen into a side-splitting guffaw. You remember how embarrassed you were one valentines day when you forgot what day it was and the only item you could find was a giant ribbon, then suddenly deciding that you were the present. He grinned at that, claiming that if you were the only present he ever would get for every valentines day ever, he wouldn't mind.

You remember the day you came back from the studio one day, exhausted and worn out from being overworked. He decided that you needed a break and whispered his husky voice into your ear. 'Run away with me.' You lightly punched him at the time, saying how silly he was, how as a leader you couldn't be responsible for two of the members going missing. But he ran away with you anyway. He carried you to the car and though you told him it was against your will, you both knew that the words were a lie. He drove for 5 hours to get to a beach, it was 5am by that time and the two of you had made it in time to watch the sunrise come over the horizon of the deep blue sea. The wind whipped at your faces and it was colder than you could imagine. But nonetheless you loved it. He took out a ring of his pocket that day. You remember how it took everything you had not to jump into his arms immediately and crush him against the pebbles and rocks. How you restrained yourself to splutter out a 'yes' and not pull him into your arms and squeeze him to death.

You want to run like you did that day. You want to escape. You want Daesung to wake up, lift his head and smile his angelic smile at you, reach for your hand then ask to run away with you again, get away from this cursed place and back to that beach. Back to anywhere that the truth of your dying dongsaeng couldn't reach you. But he doesn't and your still there lying against his motionless body. Still holding his fingers that once drummed out random melodic beats that soothed you to sleep.

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A light tug at your shoulder tells you it's time. You look to his friends and his family, all surrounding the body of your love. Each individual broken by loss, even those who only knew him briefly were so affected by his kind personality that they were destroyed by his death. You kiss the simple white rose in your hand before dropping it into the dirt, where it falls atop a wooden casket containing the man who stole your heart. The grip on your shoulder tightens for a second and then releases. You pull an object out of your pocket. Your final parting gift. A small slither of paper, a love song written for your love, never seen by anyone other than you, containing all emotions and feelings you were never able to say and the regrets you hold, like how you never managed to say goodbye face to face and your last conversation was that about the quality of hot-chocolate. It was encased in a simple wooden cylinder, the outside engraved with sketch-like white lettering. You drop it into the hole, and watch as more white roses and splatters of dirt fall as well. All things containing feelings of farewell from those who loved him.

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It's sunset when Seungri returns to try pull you away from the grave that you had been grieving at all this time.

"Hyung?"

"Yes maknae?"

"That thing you dropped. What were the words on it?"

You smile as you reply. The first smile you actually think you meant for weeks.

"It was the title of a song Seungri-ah..."

"Run away with me."

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Agh..I'm sorry, the writing is so terrible x.x I just had a bit of a brain explosion and although I want to edit it tonnes, it felt wrong to do so as I was writing a bunch of this from memories and in those situations descriptive thinking isn't exactly what goes on so... xD

But if you did enjoy it then thank you. :)

~Mai xx