Kim Jongin always considered himself to be quite the normal person. He was simple, with no particular quirks (as he saw it), no strange desires, or anything of that sort. He lived his life as a decent human being, didn’t cause much trouble besides the occasional sass that any teenager practically ingrained into them, and studied just the right amount to get acceptable grades that his parents wouldn’t kill him for. He smiled at random people on the street, walked his elderly neighbor’s dogs, and generally tried to be as good of a person as he could be.

            That being said, he could only wonder what horrendous thing he had done in a previous life to deserve such ty friends.

            “God, your lovesick attitude is disgusting, Jongin.”

            Resident Chinese, doe-eyed pretty boy Luhan stated blankly as he sat on his bed one dull Friday evening. His voice was entirely garbled, and one couldn’t help but wonder what the boy’s many fangirls would think of they saw how graceless their seemingly adorable and perfect idol was. There was food stuffed in his mouth as he spoke, his hair all over the place and greasy from unwashed product and his body adorned in mismatched everything—from the tattered, two-sizes-too-big grey t-shirt he wore, to the single pink sock on his left foot, to the yellow and white polka-dotted boxer briefs that were only visible because the man was too lazy to go find actual pants.

            “Seriously, if I see you staring across the lunch room again with stars in your eyes one more time I swear I’ll actually puke,” Luhan continued, finally swallowing the large lump of mushy popcorn and washing it down with a swig of Diet Coke.

            “Jongin’s in love?” a monotone voice spoke up, and Jongin groaned as the speaker pauses their game of Mario Kart almost immediately.

            “, not this time,” Jongin muttered with a scowl—he was in first place, for ’s sake! — but just as he was about un-pause the game, his own controller was smacked out of his hands, and he turned to glower at his friend-slash-enemy. “Sehun, you little er—”

            “You didn’t realize it?” Luhan chirped up, completely ignoring Jongin in favor of sitting up and eagerly gossiping about the boy’s non-existent love life. “He practically drools all over himself whenever he’s in the same room as—”

            “—alright, that’s enough!” Jongin exclaimed suddenly, jumping up to slap his hand over Luhan’s mouth. The other boy saw it coming though, dodging from the attack and slipping away from his bed to sit next to Sehun on the floor.

            “Ahem, as I was saying—”

            “—No!—” One pounces, the other dodges (again).

            “—Our baby Jonginnie’s fallen for—”

            “—Luhan hyung I will literally cut you—Sehun let me go you little —”

            “Jongin’sgotthehotsfortheStudentCouncilVicePresident! Ha, there I said it!” Luhan leaned back against his bed with a smirk of triumph on his face as he watched Jongin blush and squirm his way out of the now-shocked Sehun’s hold.

            “No. ing. Way,” Sehun deadpanned immediately, his eyes immediately going to give a judgemental stare only he, Sir face, could give. “Owl VP? Mister Study Snob? Leader of the choir boy posse? Jongin what the .”

            “Shut the up Sehun,” Jongin growled, but his voice held no bite as he subconsciously curled in on himself in embarrassment. “I don’t have the hots for him, you .”

            “That’s just a flat-out lie, and you know it,” Luhan cooed, teasingly patting him on the back in mock-comfort while Sehun leaned back to just watch the spectacle unfold in true Lazy-Prince-Oh style. “It’s okay, Jonginnie, we’ll help you get your model student.”

            “Figures you’d go for the most uptight in the entire school,” Sehun noted in amusement, and Jongin snapped his head up to glare at the boy.

            “He is not uptight, he’s just… a perfectionist,” he argued weakly, and the other boy just raised his hands up in defeat.

            “Alright, alright, whatever you say, .” Sehun waved him off quickly, and Luhan immediately jumped in.

            “Point is, you wanna this dude—God knows why, he has like no —and us, being your loving friends, are gonna help you do just that.”

            “He has an !” Jongin blurted out before he could help himself. His face flushed once more as he realized what he had just said, and he looked away as he lamely continued, “…it’s just a bit smaller.”

            “He’s a ‘bit smaller,’” Sehun said with a scoff. “Who knew you had a thing for the whole cute-but-deadly type? Wonder what’ll come first, your wedding, or your funeral?”

            Jongin groaned into his knees.