“Oh my God!” Seunggwan shrieks, scrambling backwards when the shadow through the shower curtain grows larger and he ends up backing his upper thigh into the bathtub’s spout while the shower head’s still running. “Who are you! Get out! Get out! Get out!” He shrieks again, grabbing onto a handle for balance and and accidentally turning the shower’s controls into cold territory while doing so, and Seunggwan starts shrieking at the freezing water next.

“Stop screaming! Seunggwan it’s just me, but this is an emergency okay I need-” Seokmin responds, pulling the shower curtain back from the side away from the nozzle and sticking his head and some neck in. Seunggwan sighs seeing that familiar face, before processing Seokmin’s words and almost slipping in the tub. If he’d broke his left arm, it’d be their thing.

“I knew it! From our freshmen year I called it! What is it is it a fire is it a robbery I can’t go out I refuse to be that neighbor who runs into the hallway during the emergency and gets written up for-” Seunggwan sputters, clawing at the shower wall until the water stops and spitting out any liquid that fell into his mouth while he was fearfully ranting.

“No, Seunggwan, what? I need your Hot Cheeto's okay the ones you eat when I’m at the library that you normally hide under the couch but I couldn’t find-”

“Lee Seokmin.” Seunggwan voices, quiet and serious and glaring at the piece of from beneath wet eyelashes. He’s irritated, bothered, and freezing; the shower’s off so his wet skin is drying off and taking body heat in the process. “What the hell are you talking about.”

“I was watching Running Man at work yesterday okay and there was the one where they were in New York and they were at a gas station-”

“I don’t care-”

“And there were Hot Cheetos! Hot Cheetos! Seunggwan I need Hot Cheetos they’ve been haunting me all day okay I was at the school and we were doing this activity about different types of cells and I almost called my student Charlotte ‘Cheeto’ by accident-”

“Seokmin come here.” Seunggwan sighs, pulling Seokmin into the shower. He turns on the cold water, ducking between the spray and the wall with the nozzle attached to avoid the brunt of the chill, and steps out of the shower.

“Cold!” Seokmin shrieks.

“I love you too.” Seunggwan mutters under his breath, grabbing the towel from where he left it on top of the toilet seat. “And I finished those Cheetos already!” He calls, and slams the bathroom door so he doesn’t hear the response.

Seunggwan leaves the bathroom and proceeds to towel himself off, bring Seokmin a change of clothes, shove Seokmin’s soaked attire into the washing machine, and run the load with some of the other stuff lying around. It’s taken a while, but he’s learned to tell which of Seokmin’s shirts are discarded because they’re dirty, which are lying around waiting to be hung up, and which are lying around waiting to be worn. When he comes back from the laundry machine, Seokmin is clad in boxers, ferociously shoving Veggie Straws into his mouth with one hand and petting Hosh with the other. Hosh is on their kitchen table, surrounded by a handful of plump green grapes—a few of which have been burst, probably from a stray spike—and eating one with both hands. When he was younger Hosh had a habit of playing with his food, and Seunggwan remembers stepping on stray cherry tomatoes, apple slices, slugs, and small pats of wet dog food around his dorm for a good month before getting used to watching his feet. Freshmen year—that was when they first met.

 

 

 

“Noona! I’ve got it; I can carry my own bags!” Seunggwan calls, futile because she had apparently nabbed his keycard on the elevator ride up and is already opening his room’s door. Meeting his roommate. Laying on his bed, maybe, all before he does. She was always a bit overbearing.

Seunggwan, figuring she’s already in there wrecking havoc, doesn’t bother running anymore and slows down to a stroll down the fourth floor in Lander Hall. Where he’s moving in. Today. Where he’ll live. For the next semester. And then after winter break, during winter semester. And maybe his Sophomore year too, actually, if he gets attached for some reason. He’s pushing a plastic, enormous, violet bin filled to the brim with his sheets, comforter, pillow, clothes, and other belongings to unload. It reads “Welcome to Washington!” on the side in white block print, and he sees a matching bin, empty, outside room 17 where he can hear his sister cooing out of. Half of the dorm looks well lived in already; there’s a tossed salad of brightly coloured shirts strewn across the floor around a neatly made bed, nautically themed blanket pushed up snug against a pillow and two smaller throws. Three pillows. On a single, twins-sized dorm mattress.

“Seunggwan! There you are, come meet your roommate!” Seungwon calls, not at all bothered by her intrusiveness, beckoning him over with her hands once she spots him in the doorway, and Seunggwan doesn’t even have time to introduce himself to the roommate before she’s doing it for him. “Seokmin, meet Seunggwan! Seunggwan, you’re living with Seokmin and Hosh this year!”

“And who?” Seunggwan sputters, spinning around from the smiling figure seated on the already-covered bed to face his sister again. He then swiftly turns back around. “Sorry about that; nice to meet you; I’m Seunggwan Boo; who’s our third roommate?”

“I’m-”

“This little guy!” Seungwon interrupts, holding out

“He’s a hedgehog.” Seokmin explains, standing up and holding out a hand. Seunggwan shakes it. Immediately after, Seokmin takes the thing, Hosh, from Seungwon’s grasp and runs his fingers through the spikes while he continues talking. “His name is Hosh; I got him as a graduation present from a friend.”

“Hosh? Hey little guy.” Seunggwan smiles apprehensively. He lifts a hands up, and goes to pet Hosh once Seokmin nods permission, but winces when he does. The spikes are harsh, which he should have expected, but they’re abrasive against the pads of his fingers and he pulls his hand back quickly.

“They’re cute but they can be dangerous too.” Seokmin explains, running his fingers through the spikes again. “It takes a while for your hands to get used to it; I couldn’t hold him for almost two weeks after I first got him. But at this point I could probably pet a cactus.”

“Are your parents out for a bit?” Seunggwan changes the subject, motioning with his chin to Seokmin’s half of the room, the half of the room that’s already arranged. It seems to just be the three of them—four of them, depending on who’s counting. “When did you move in?”

“I moved in as early as I could.” Seokmin laughs, setting Hosh down on his desk in one corner of the room, near an open window, before continuing. “I was on a Cruise during the orientation dates so I moved in a week early to do a condensed orientation.”

“Wait, then who’s taking Hosh?” Seunggwan asks, furrowing his brows. “Pets aren’t allowed in dorms, right?” There is no way he’s going to risk getting kicked out on the first day because his roommate wants to keep a spikey rat around the room.

“Please.” Seokmin starts immediately, grabbing Seunggwan’s right forearm with both hands and dragging him towards the desk setup he’s created. He starts smiling, the curve of his lips paralleled only by his crescent shaped eyes and he starts shaking Seunggwan’s arm while begging. “I have this cage hidden under my bed and when I take it out it’s hidden behind these books so as soon as someone knocks on our door I can have him hidden. And I just feed him raw stuff instead of pet food so no one will find anything incriminating in our room. And he doesn’t make noise and I specifically applied for a room with a separate bathroom so I can bathe him in there and no one will know, okay, no one will know.” Seunggwan doesn’t know what ends up winning him over—Seokmin’s grin or memories of that Youtube video he saw of a hedgehog bathing in a sink like a little boat. God, that was adorable.

“Are you really asking? I mean his is all here already and I haven’t even moved in yet.” Seunggwan sighs.

“Are you sure you’ll want a pet though? College is about doing what you want, and pets are an extra responsibility to keep around.” Seungwon mentions, getting off Seunggwan’s uncovered mattress once Seunggwan throws his backpack on there. As soon as he’s gotten rid of that weight, Seokmin’s pulling on his arm again. Five minutes into meeting and he’s already asking a favour.

“C’mon, he won’t bother you at all.” Seokmin whines, pulling swinging his arms, and Seunggwan’s by default, until Seunggwan rolls his eyes and threatens to shove Hosh somewhere unholy if Seunggwan ever steps on him.

“You guys are certainly getting off to a good start.” Seungwon comments later, setting up Seunggwan’s desk lamp and removable shelves. “You’ve known him one day and you’re already covering for him.”

Seokmin had ducked off to eat at a restaurant nearby; their meal plans are active already, and Seungwon has already commandeered most of Seunggwan’s guest meal passes for the semester, but Seokmin had been in the mood for Doenjjang Jjigae specifically and none of the ten other things they were serving at the dining hall would do. Seunggwan’s still full of his mom’s sending off beef so he opted to stay behind and unpack some more, while Seungwon digs through his things, comments on his future, and occasionally does something useful. His clothes are hung, the bed is covered, his desk stuff is all within the general area of his desk, and he has plastic bins for miscellaneous luggage. There is an unfortunate dearth of stuff in their bathroom, however, so a shopping trip with Seokmin should be in order. Tomorrow, ideally, because he’d stolen a giant ball of toilet paper from the public restroom on the first floor of the dorm for today, and washed his hands with shampoo, but that’s hardly an acceptable long term arrangement.

“Are you saying I shouldn’t cover for him? You were the one who fell in love at first sight with the thing.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t. You’re in college; I’m glad to see you breaking some rules. Don’t do anything stupid though.” Seungwon shrugs, and after plugging his desk lamp into a power strip on the floor she pulls Hosh’s cage out from behind a wall of textbooks and cooes at him. “Do you think I can feed him?”

“Don’t—Seokmin fed him before he left for dinner didn’t he? You’re gonna stuff him sick and he’ll die.” Seunggwan replies, remembering the string of dead fish his preteen self had ended up holding water-burials for around a toilet.

“Just one tiny little tomato. He’ll be fine.” Seungwon argues, going to open Seokmin’s mini fridge and pulling out a plastic container of cherry tomatoes. She takes one, and then runs off to their bathroom to clean it off.

“Digging through his stuff already?” Seunggwan says, and Seungwon give him the finger once she’s done cleaning the vegetable off.

“Don’t spoil Hosh’s appetite now.” Seungwon argues, opening the cage and trying to pull Hosh out. He doesn’t come, and eventually she just puts the cherry tomato inside, and replaces her hand with her phone. “Besides, he’s your roommate. You live together. We’re all family now.”

“He’s a stranger.”

“With a cute hedgehog.” Seungwon points out, scrolling through photos. “Do you think he’s made an instagram for Hosh? You should, if he hasn’t, and get rich off it.”

“Family money.” Seunggwan snorts, and doesn’t expect the arm thrown over his shoulder when Seungwon sprints her way over.

“Don’t be a smartass. I’m hungry, and speaking of family and dutiful older sisters, it’s time for you to finally start paying back all the food I’ve give you.”

Seokmin doesn’t feel like family for a while, though they do get close pretty quickly. Seokmin’s hedgehog is as painless and quiet as promised, and in return the guy doesn’t say anything about the banned scented candles Seunggwan burns through when he’s studying, even though it’s still warm and sunny from August through the beginning of November, and the candles don’t help with cooling their room down. They’re both undeclared, on West Campus, taking general intro courses, and if that wasn’t enough to forge a bond, there’s the fact they’re both in the habit of singing really, really loudly in the shower. They’d both been too on edge to break out into song the first week, but it gets harder to hide the habit when they’re more comfortable with each other. It’s this singing thing that really solidifies this bond. Actually, more specifically, it might be the shower actually, because it breaks. It breaks, and Seokmin’s in the public shower on the third floor, and he’s forgetting where he is, and he’s singing, and then he sees someone else, and then he’s tripping, and then his arm is broken.

Seokmin, despite anything the self-righteous idiot may say, ends up with the brunt of the weight of said accident. He can’t eat easily, sleep comfortably, keep up with note-taking in class, or properly bathe for a good three months. Seunggwan, as his roommate, assists with all of above tasks as well as emailing Seokmin’s professors, parents, and upperclassmen to make sure the injured student gets properly coddled and the arm heals on schedule. There are some transitions during the recovery period, and they’re both a bit busier, but it’s after the accident when things change. Seokmin starts making Seunggwan’s bed every morning, like clockwork, despite continuous arguments they get in about Seokmin not hanging his clothes up. That, much to Seunggwan’s chagrin, does not change. When Seunggwan gets rejected from the business school he ends up telling Seokmin first, instead of typing and not sending a series of texts to his mother like he did when university rejection letters came out just five months earlier. While Seokmin avoids all their friends’ questions regarding his Thanksgiving plans, he gets dragged along back to the Boo household when Seunghee comes to pick him up on November 25th and spots Seokmin still asleep and in bed. Seunggwan learns Seokmin’s credit card number when Green Day tickets go on sale during the other’s Economics exam, and Seokmin learns Seunggwan’s student ID number when Seunggwan gets his first hangover the day before his Psych135 final paper is due.

They eat together, sleep together, live together, breathe together. They have nearly identical friend circles, each others’ mothers’ phone numbers, and all of each others’ personal information. They go to the same coffee shops, the same restaurants, the same parties…

 

 

 

“I could’ve broken my arm again.” Seokmin whines when he spots Seunggwan standing there, mouth still full of Veggie Straws and some crumbs flying out when he speaks. Hosh might look up at the disturbance, might just be moving his head to get more leverage so his jaw can come down on the grape—who knows.

“Oh shut up; you’re fine. Besides, you broke your arm but I was the one typing your notes and cleaning out Hosh’s cage while you rested on your the entire time. I would never put myself through that again.” Seunggwan responds, sitting down and taking a handful of the straws for himself. “We’re ruining our dinner.”

“What were we supposed to eat for dinner again?” Seokmin sighs, before shoving one last handful of straws into his mouth, folding the bag shut, and then tossing the bag onto the counter.

“Leftovers.” Seunggwan responds, and when he gets up to grab at the crisp bag again Seokmin sits on his lap to hold him in place. “Oh get off, you ate way more than I did.”

“I don’t wanna cook though; I don’t even wanna use the microwave.” Seokmin groans, leaning back into Seunggwan and squirming. “I want to eat. Like right now.”

“Even if we went with Mcdonald’s or something, it’d take at least another ten minutes to drive there and five minutes to get our food. You might as well use the microwave.” Seunggwan argues, throwing his arms around Seokmin’s waist and digging his chin into Seokmin’s shoulder.

“Stop being reasonable. I really want pizza now, pizza sounds good.”

“Pizza takes forever,especially to deliver.” Seunggwan reasons. “Just open the fridge. We’re almost there.”

“My stomach has a one track mind, okay, and I'm not in the business of denying my stomach. We have a connection.” Seokmin starts, not for the first time, and Seunggwan snorts.

“Yeah, it’s called your throat.”

“We communicate, okay, and right now my stomach is telling me it’ll reject anything that isn’t pizza. Can't you hear him screaming?”

“Can your stomach tell that to the overfed, nutrition-starved cows they’re raising on mass farms in Central America at the expense of indigenous species?” Seunggwan sighs, reciting from his memory of Seokmin's Environ111 notes. Seokmin’s been increasingly sensitive to animal lives since he started raising Hosh, never mind the fact Hosh doesn’t bat an eye before chomping down on a nice hunk of rat carcass should one be presented to him.

“Leftovers…again…” Seokmin acquiesces, and now Seunggwan is annoyed.

“Okay, if we get frozen pizzas those will take significantly less time-”

“We decided to do that meal prep thing, right? Meal preparation. We have meals, already prepared. Save money, eat less processed foods because the beef produced from feeder farms is-”

“Because you took an environmental science class for your natural science requirement senior year and after failing at going raw vegan, vegan, and vegetarian we’re on some sustainable diet that involves being allowed to eat , but less often, meaning all I can think about is eating .” Seunggwan drones; he wishes he had access to that professor who taught Seokmin about unsustainable pork. He may never eat jokbal again, thanks to that bastard. He was never particularly into pizza, and especially not frozen pizzas, but now that he's decided to lay off them they've never sounded more delicious.

“The cows. The pork. The atmosphere. The phosphates leaking into our-” Seokmin moans.

“Oceans, okay, I get it, I get it, but now I’m thinking about jokbal.” Seunggwan sighs, and grins when Seokmin yelps at a harder-than-necessary jab from the former’s neck. “We’ve been good all week, right? We should be able to go out. Not McDonald’s, but Chipotle maybe?”

“Yeah, we’ve been pretty-wait!” Seokmin stops, pries Seunggwan’s arms off his waist, and goes to open their fridge. “Here it is! We went to Itadakimasu on Tuesday; my leftover curry rice is still in the fridge. It’s been… three days! This is about to go bad, Seunggwan your donkatsu is too!”

“Wait, you were the one who wanted to get pizza.” Seunggwan groans. "Aren't you supposed to listen to your stomach god?"

“Throwing out takeout is a sin.” Seokmin explains, and seeing his neat script on top of the white styrofoam boxes—the restaurant, date, and contents—it isn’t even weird anymore. It’s been a while since it was.

 

 

 

“This is the tiest first date I’ve ever been on.” Seunggwan notes, nodding his head and squinting his eyes as he shoves another mouthful of tangsuyuk in his mouth, followed by an equally large glob of white rice. “This might be the tiest first date in the history of first dates.”

“Explain again why this is a first date?” Seokmin responds, mouth full of salmon and lemon pasta. “You seem annoyed, so I’m not going to make a joke about how many times you’ve put out before the first date.” He continues, and bursts out laughing despite keeping his word on the joke bit.

“What was our first date then?” Seunggwan asks, taking a bite out of some pizza. It has white sauce covered in tomato and then even more cheese on top, and Seunggwan hates how good it tastes.

“If the party doesn’t count?” Seokmin responds, setting down his chopsticks in favour of a bottle of Pocari on his left. “Then that time we got banh mi dip for the first time?”

“Banh mi dip is a ing life changer.” Seunggwan nods. “But that doesn’t count.”

“Fair enough. What about Beetle Cafe? The Men in Black marathon? Okay what about when we went through downtown after the Calc final freshmen year?”

“When was the Men in Black marathon?” Seunggwan asks, reaching for the last pot sticker. Seokmin moves as if he’s going to fight for it, but then smiles and pulls his hand back.

“That was before we took the Korean placement exam last year for language requirement credit. I’m pretty sure we ditched everyone to cram before the exam in the morning but then got annoyed and Will Smith was brought up for some reason so...” Seokmin talks slowly, like he’s walking through the memory, and Seunggwan tenses.

“Right, yeah, anyway that doesn’t count.”

“Why, because you don’t remember?” Seokmin snorts, chewing on some reheated fries.

“No, because we were roommates. Roommates do that all the time.” Seunggwan reasons. “Now that we’re not roommates anymore, it’s an actual date.”

“Well I hope you don’t do everything with Vernon.” Seokmin laughs, and Seunggwan rolls his eyes.

“Never mind, I was joking.” Seunggwan gives up and goes for the tangsuyuk again. Tastes like home.

“It’s Hosh time!” Seokmin cheers, interrupting and putting Hosh down on his knee. “Hosh, you missed Seunggwan right? He doesn’t believe you now, but someday he’ll be able to read you. One day he will know. One day he will understand.”

“Fat chance.” Seunggwan mutters. He was unexpectedly pleased to see Hosh on move-in day this semester though, and Seungwon had specifically wanted to drop him off again just so she could be reunited with the creature. It must run in the family.

“Seunggwan is pretending to be annoyed but he’s happy to see you too. He gave you an extra cockroach to eat today, didn’t he? And he’s pretending to be annoyed right now but he really doesn’t care because it’s cozier eating in anyway. He didn’t even have to pay for any of it.” Seokmin continues, and Seunggwan tries to snort again but his mouth won’t stop smiling so he near chokes himself with a mouthful of the lemon pasta instead.

“Speaking of ‘in,’ where’s your roommate? Minghao right?” Seunggwan asks, putting down his chopsticks to lean over some takeout boxes and steal Hosh from Seokmin’s thigh. They seem to have gotten… larger over the summer break. Both the creature and the thigh.

“Hey and some junior were unpacking his stuff, and then they went out to eat. You’ll see him soon; he seems cool.” Seokmin responds, picking his chopsticks back up and grabbing more fries with them.

“Of course you think he’s cool; he let you order takeout every single meal for like four days and leave 12 boxes of leftovers in the fridge.” Seunggwan says, eying the spread in front of them again. “So here I am, on our first date, eating your leftovers for the past four days.” Seunggwan sighs heavily again. Time for another slice of white pizza.

“Hey he moved in on the normal date, same time as you. Just got in today, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t check the fridge yet so I needed you to help me eat through them so I don’t scare him off too early.” Seokmin argues. “And they were going bad; letting takeout go bad is a sin.”

“And to think your intimate relationship with takeout grew all over the span of last year.” Seunggwan sighs. “So what’d you do while campus was deserted this year? I would’ve tried to come back early but-”

“Hey, don’t bother.” Seokmin interrupts. “It was like an extra 170 bucks per day to move in beforehand. Not worth it. Besides, your mom would’ve tried to move in with you.”

“Well what’d you do? Was anyone else back yet?”

“Jinah, Jeonghan, and Nat were all back early for orientation for architecture stuff. But they were actually in orientation the whole time, so saw them after dinner sometime. Remember that crisis you had first week last year over how much extra time you had?”

“Why are we bringing that up again?” Seunggwan sighs.

“It was like that kind of? Something like that? I ended up…switching majors.”

“You ended up what?!”

“I’ve been talking about bio being a pain for a while now.” Seokmin reasons, appeasing Seunggwan’s shock. “I had a lot of time to think. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with bio because I didn’t want to do anything with it.”

“So what’d you switch to?”

“Elementary education.”

“Education?” Seunggwan asks, surprised. “Elementary?”

“I figure if I don’t like it I can just switch again. Switching out of bio was easy enough.” Seokmin nods, leaning back on his arms, still cross-legged, and raises an eyebrow.

“No, we are not talking about me right now.” Seunggwan shakes his head, and starts piling up all the empty plastic cartons. “Where’s your trash?”

“Hey now, I’m just asking. You were thinking about econ right? And informatics? Anything else?”

“I’m going to major in stress. Stomach ulcers.” Seunggwan announces, heading towards a familiar bright green bin. “I’m not going to survive uni—what difference does it make?”

 

 

 

“Make sure to emphasize everything we went over during chapter one on during class, hint that all the assumptions of cognitive psychology will be necessary for full marks on the paper on the first exam. Everything about the computer analogy and limitations compared to, let’s say, the biological approach.” Junhui explains, looking up from something on his Macbook occasionally to explain to the rest of them. All teaching aides for Intro to Cognitive Psych are in a stuffy private study room on lease at the Natural Science library; more ideal meeting places, like the Starbucks by the lab they all held office hours at, used to be an option, but then Hyerin spotted one of her more desperate students at the cafe trying to listen in, so they couldn’t meet out in the open anymore.

“Is there anything we should specifically avoid talking about for the exam? Any surprises?” Sunyoul asks, and Yiyoung shoves him in the shoulder for it.

“You just want to make them work for it.” Yiyoung laughs. “Because our boss is a vindictive .”

“Hey now, all of that has to happen far away from me.” Junhui cuts in, shutting his laptop and sliding it into his messenger bag. “I couldn’t look him in the eye at our last meeting—all I could picture was him like that photo of him you guys found on the beach in Peru. Don’t forget all the finals reminders, and don’t forget to give them hints or they’ll write nasty course evaluations and we’ll have even more meetings to sit through next year.” Junhui continues, and everyone else starting shuffling around to pack up too.

Seunggwan slides a cover back over his tablet and slipping it into his backpack quicky. He hadn’t had time to eat before his first class this morning, despite their meal prepping session on Sunday, and he ends up burning holes into a bag of Cheetos longingly at a vending machine by the elevator in the library. He sighs, knowing his apartment’s only a fifteen minute ride away, and ventures towards it. In his dawdling, however, Junhui catches up to him. “You need a buck?”

“No, I’m fine; I’m headed back to the apartment now.” Seunggwan shakes his head. “You?”

“I have office hours to go to, but I’m going to grab some coffee first.”

“Aren’t your office hours on Monday?”

“Not mine, for a class I’m sitting in. How’s Seokmin these days? I haven’t seen him around.” Junhui asks, and Seunggwan nods.

“Yeah, he did the library interview you got him and with that on top of his student teaching it’s hard for him to find free time.” Seunggwan explains.

They, or more like Seokmin, had met Junhui via Seokmin’s sophomore year roommate, Minghao. The psych major had been a year older than them all, hit off with Seokmin shockingly easily, and had been a relatively stable fixture in their lives since then. Besides getting Seokmin a job at the public library he’d also driven them around on multiple occasions, treated them to enough meals that Seunggwan can’t keep track to repay the debt, and suggested Seunggwan to professor jackass as a potential TA a couple months ago. Despite it all, he still hasn’t moved from Seunggwan’s designation as “Seokmin’s” friend, as opposed to one of “their” friends.

“Well I’m glad the library job worked out for him. Boring, but when you need as much time as he does to lesson plan, it’s basically getting paid for doing homework.” Junhui grins, and Seunggwan nods along. He notes that the bottom layers hanging out of Junhui’s low ponytail are nearly at his waist.

“You’ve been keeping your hair longer. Warmth for winter or?” Seunggwan asks, reaching for the hair but Junhui ducks out of the way.

“It’s for your own good. I haven’t washed it in four days.” Junhui explains, and laughs at the expression on Seunggwan’s face. “Judge all you want, but if your master’s isn’t enough you’re going to be exactly where I am in three years. The ponytail helps hide it; if you have bangs they give it away, if you brush it out of your face the oil keeps it in place. It looks neat almost.” He swings his head back and forth as he talks, and Seokmin must be rubbing off on him because Seunggwan is disgusted more because it’s almost adorable and less because it’s gross. Then he remembers he didn’t have time to put on SPF this morning and scowls again.

“Thanks for that… advice.” Seunggwan sighs, and after those words are out of his mouth Junhui is uncomfortably close.000000000

“Always watching out for you, kid. When are you and Seokmin free? I’ll treat you both to barbecue.”

“Weekends work the best, Sunday especially. I’ll have Seokmin text you?” Seunggwan asks, and when they approach Cafe Solstice they stop. “This is you?”

“Ah, glad to be rid of me I see. I’ll free you for now.” Junhui nods, and continues before Seunggwan can protest. “One day it’ll be you calling me, instead of Seokmin. I’ll win you over yet.” Junhui announces, ruffling Seunggwan’s hair as he heads in.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Seunggwan calls, and he isn’t sure if Junhui waves as a farewell or because he heard.

Seunggwan, thinking about his TA salary, manages to avoid stepping foot in Solistice and continues to the bus stop while trying to distract himself with basketball commentary on YouTube. The bus doesn’t come for a while, but there’s nobody getting off on two of the stops on the way so the ride isn’t too long. It’s another short two minute walk back to his apartment building, and he’s eternally grateful for Seokmin’s staunch refusal to live on anything but the first floor days when he’s annoyed, exhausted, and nothing is going right.

Seokmin’s school lets out by 14:30 but he heads to the library right after four weekdays a week and isn’t done with work until around 20:00; it’s maybe 20:20 when he gets back to the apartment. They’ve adjusted to eating late dinners and not doing work at night--which involved a lot of distraction limiting laptop, concentration building phone apps, and missed texts from their juniors—but it’s surprisingly nice going to sleep when it’s dark out, waking up when the sun’s up, and actually being able to see your boyfriend for a couple of hours everyday. That, until Seunggwan realises he’s a 23-year-old who doesn’t live at home but can’t remember the last time he’s been out. He’s not undergrad, but it’s not as if he’s old, and walking into the Odegaard library and Denny building makes it feel like he hasn’t actually graduated, hasn’t actually accomplished anything. He’s an adult now, yet still in school, and a student, but not quite. And when he’s sitting here eating popcorn and marathoning How I Met Your Mother, it feels like he’s maintaining his youth at the expense of his future.

“I’m home~!” Seokmin calls, sing-song as he slams the door open and he holds the last note, expecting Seunggwan to harmonise. When there isn’t a response, he eventually gives up. “Seunggwan? You back?”

“Of course I’m back.” Seunggwan calls back, shoving his laptop and the popcorn onto the coffee table and lying down on the couch. “I’m always home!”

“And I’m always happy to see you.” Seokmin responds, and tosses his bag at the foot of the couch before heading to the fridge. “Did you eat yet?”

“No, I was waiting for you but I had a ton of popcorn so I’m not that hungry.” Seunggwan replies.

“What have you been up to?” Seokmin asks, pulling out their orange juice and taking a sip from the bottle. “How was class? Your meeting?”

“Woke up late, didn’t eat, ran into Junhui today.”

“Don’t you see him a lot? You work together. How is he?” Seokmin responds, putting the orange juice back in the fridge.

“Yeah, most just work stuff though. He walked me to the bus stop today though; he seems fine. His hair’s even longer now. Also seems busier than even you.” Seunggwan replies. “Offered to treat us to meat.”

“Just like old times.” Seokmin laughs, jumping and sitting on the counter. “We should invite him over for a change. Junhui’s good at trying new foods. We can try a recipe off that blog you found last week.”

“Are you implying something?” Seunggwan stands up and sits on the back of the couch, facing Seokmin in the fridge.

“Touchy, touchy. What have you been watching?”

“That’s not important. What are you-”

“Seunggwan, are you watching How I Met Your Mother Again.”

“Never mind that, dinner is-”

“Hey, did something happen-”

“Nothing happened!” Seunggwan interrupts, standing up and leaning against the couch. “Nothing happened, nothing’s different, I’m still in uni marathoning How I Met Your Mother and we’re still living in a tiny apartment on campus and everything is the same.”

“Okay, something obviously happened today.” Seokmin’s expression darkens but Seunggwan finds it enabling instead of dissuading.

“Doesn’t it bother you? I mean Jinah’s got some consultant position and he’s flying around New York and the bonus he got was so big they got into an argument about a joint bank account and almost broke up! Mingyu’s at GM now and Minghao’s in New York and Kaeun off doing whatever they do in Peace Corps and we’re here going through weird dieting phases and in bed by two so that we can feel like we’re not undergrads anymore but every thing’s the same!”

“What do you want to change? Your job? Your program? Us? What is it?” Seokmin asks, annoyingly placating.

“Don’t act like this is just me—you’re the one who came up with the vegan thing! With changing our schedules around, with everything. You’re going through Cheeto withdrawls and still working minimum wage and you’ve graduated but still as broke and lost as you were last year!”

“Well speaking of things that haven’t changed, you feeling insecure and turning and trying to drag me down with you is clearly still how we communicate.” Seokmin spits back, sliding off the counter. “Why are you dragging me into this?!”

“Dragging you into this? We’re dating! This is about us! And you’re not denying anything either.” Seunggwan screams back.

“So what are you going to do? Drop out? Move to LA, and maybe finally find a life worthy of Boo Seunggwan?”

“I’m not the only one who wants more sometimes!”

“I want things, I want a lot of things, but that doesn’t stop me from being happy. I don’t want to student teach for the rest of my life, I don’t want to work at a library anymore, but someday I won’t and I’ll just have to stick it out until I get there.”

“I know that! Why can’t I just talk about things without you overreacting?!”

“Why can’t you talk about things without dragging me out to dry?!”

“Because… I don’t know.” Seunggwan sighs, taking off his cardigan and balling it up. “Can we talk about this later? I’m going to go shower. Tomorrow?”

“I invited Josh over for dinner tomorrow.” Seokmin shakes his head and smiles. “Killer timing, huh.”

“Josh as in Joshua the teacher you’re student teaching with?”

“Yeah, also known as ‘Mr. Hong’ among the fifth graders at West Seattle Elementary School. He’ll be here at six.”

“Did you take time off work?”

“I’m doing all five weekdays next week instead.”

“Is he here for dinner? We don’t-”

“I grabbed some groceries before heading back.” Seokmin gestures to the brown paper bags at the door by their shoe rack.

“I’ll…”

“Go shower. I’ll grab a bite and jump in after you.” Seokmin nods, turning back to the fridge, and Seunggwan takes a few backwards steps towards the hall to their bedroom before spinning around and heading there to grab pajama’s to change into.

 

 

 

“Are you sure?” Seunghee asks, nearly choking on her vodka soda and Seungwon smacks her, maybe unnecessarily hard, a few times on the back.

“About which part of it?” Seunggwan asks, getting slapped on the wrist when he tries to reach for a sip of Seunghee’s abandoned drink. “C’mon, I’m old enough to drink!”

“You’re still twelve; I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Seungwon snorts.

“Twelve? When did you turn twelve last I remember-” Seunghee starts, and Seunggwan shoves a larger potato skin into .

“Yeah, thanks noona but nobody needs to know what goes on in your head.”

“Ha, you’re funny you lil’ but don’t change the subject.” Seungwon replies. “You’re staying in Seattle for another, what, three years? I don’t think you spent that long at home over the span of eighteen years we spent there.”

“Home more like hotel.” Seunghee adds. “You spent the summers at camps, in Korea, doing University programs, leadership conferences.”

“Breaks volunteering in Central America, visiting friends in Japan, working at that law office with the lawyer you thought was hot.” Seungwon continues.

“Well yeah, but it was hard getting into a Public Health program. I graduated with a communications degree, okay, my only other offer was in Michigan. What the hell is in Michigan?” Seunggwan reasons, taking another sip of cola. “Why is it so weird? I’m a uni student; I need a degree; I’m staying in school. What’s the big deal?”

“And you’re sure that this has nothing to do with the fact your boyfriend’s staying too?” Seungwon raises a brow. It’s not as effective as it used to be, because straight brows are in right now, but her expression is still unsettling.

“Oh, that’s right. The boyfriend’s staying too. I’m sure he has nothing to do with flighty Boo Seunggwan suddenly deciding to settle down in homey ol’ Seattle.” Seunghee leans on Seungwon, matching smirks on their faces as they stare him down and Seunggwan holds his blank expression but shifts in his seat.

“Seokmin could do his student teaching anywhere, but he’s got friends here and he’s only got to do less than six months so he figures he’ll stick around for another half year.” Seunggwan explains.

“I know that, but you could also do your master’s anywhere. And I honestly doubt, that if you really really tried, you wouldn’t be able to get in anywhere more exciting than Michigan.” Seungwon reasons. “Also, it’s barely a long distance relationship if it’s just six months.”

“I’m not staying because of Seokmin, okay, we’ve been together for four years. This is just convenient for both of us.”

“Even if you were staying for Seokmin, you’d never tell him.” Seunghee replies. “But just think about how serious you guys are going to get, okay? You’ve been together since your freshmen years, and just glued at the hip, but now you guys are both headed off. I’m not saying you should break up, but a lot of campus couples do. Don’t stick together just because you’re used to it. It’s a different world out there.”

“A whole new world~” Seunggwan sings under his breath, and almost hears it in Seokmin’s voice. It’s his gut reaction to hearing anyone say the word ‘world,’ and Seunggwan now realises it’s his too. Well, dammit.

“I mean while we’re talking about Seokmin let’s just say it.” Seunghee continues. “I mean he’s a nice guy and all, but you guys have been dating forever.”

“Most people date in uni.” Seunggwan retorts.

“Yeah but you guys are like, married or something.” Seungwon shakes her head, setting a half eaten potato skin down and sitting up. “I have this kid’s number, okay. I text him more than I text you.”

“That’s because we call.” Seunggwan argues.

“Still! He snapchats me random you do on the daily. Somehow, you getting a boyfriend resulted in me seeing you more.” Seungwon says. “If universities did yearbooks you and Seokmin would be ‘most likely to get married out of college.’”

“You have never committed to anything in your life.” Seunghee points out.

“Noona! You know I hate hearing that.”

“Well it’s true, whether you like it or not. The friends you hang out with aren’t even the same from freshmen year; the only person you still see are Seokmin, and all his friends too.” Seunghee replies.

“Okay, I’m a flake then.” Seunggwan pouts, and scowls when Seungwon reaches to scratch under his chin.

“Awww, it’s been a while since you’ve tried the cute thing.”

“No, you’re not a flake. Seunggwan, you’re nice and supportive and your friends are all lucky to have you, alright?” Seunghee yanks Seungwon’s arm back as she lectures. “And you’re constantly changing and growing and you meet new people that match you all the time. And I’m not saying Seokmin is bad for you, we all like him, we’re just all surprised.” She reasons.

“It makes sense though.” Seungwon notes, resting her chin on her propped hand and leaning forward. “That with everything else changing, you’d want something stable to come back to.”

 

 

 

“This actually turned out alright. What’s in the dressing again?” Seunggwan asks, after another ‘taste’ of the salmon pasta.

“Hey now, we’re not going to have any left.” Seokmin whines, reaching to steal the bowl from the other, but Seunggwan holds another mouthful out on metal chopsticks so Seokmin opts for that instead. “Mostly lemon, oil, salt, basil. Same stuff we put on the salmon.”

“Well it turned out alright. Stop stressing, you’re sweating through your shirt.” Seunggwan points out. “Go change and I’ll keep an eye on the fish.”

“I did not sweat through anything.” Seokmin whines, but sneaks another chunk of asparagus before jogging over to their room, to change.

This isn’t the first time having company while the both of them are still tender after a fight, but it’s their first time doing it as a group of adults rather than some college kids grabbing a meal together. It’s hard to navigate new waters, harder when you don’t feel comfortable enough to talk about it, and Seunggwan’s sure Seokmin called Junhui for advice earlier in the morning but Seokmin has always been worried about first impressions so there’s only so much Junhui can do. The oven timer goes off after another moment or so, and it looks pale pink instead of raw red, so he takes the sheet pan out of the oven and sets it on the stove top. It’s cool, twenty minutes before Joshua’s going to get here, and Seokmin’s still in the room so Seunggwan sighs, washes his hands, sets the table and goes in for moral support.

“Does this shirt look okay?”

“Seokmin, you’ve seen Joshua five days a week for the past three weeks. He already knows you; you already know him; and he’s probably seen all of the two shirts you wear to work so.” Seunggwan responds, but stops when he sees what Seokmin has on. “Is that an old band tee?”

“I thought I should go for casual?” Seokmin asks, smiling; it’s the small nervous one, not the one Seunggwan wants, or hopes, to see.

“Let’s go in-between then. That way we’re covered no matter what he shows up in.” Seunggwan replies, snagging a dusty blue, banded collared shirt from his half of the closet and waiting for Seokmin to slip the t-shirt off. After he’s done undressing, Seunggwan throws the shirt at Seokmin’s face, standing around a foot in front of him, and this time Seokmin’s grin is brighter.

“This is yours, right? So it might be a little short o-”

“Shut up you jackass.” Seunggwan groans, punching Seokmin in the arm when the slightly taller starts full on laughing as he buttons it up. “But is there anything I should know? Just pretend you’re seeing him in the classroom again if it helps.”

“I doubt it will; he’s not just a coworker or anything; he’s like my boss.”

“You have way too much fun at work every day.” Seunggwan points out. “Before you got the library job you came back more energetic than when you left.”

“That’s what I mean—kids. They’re easier to deal with than adults.” Seokmin sighs.

“We are adults.” Seunggwan chides.

“Is that what you’re passing off as these days?”

“Shut up, you’re dressed now right? Joshua’s gonna be here any minute now.” Seunggwan groans, increasing in volume when Seokmin hugs him from the back.

“Thank you Seunggwanie~!”

“Let go!”

“I feel a lot better now!”

“Right now!”

 

 

 

“I’m not going.” Seokmin shakes his head, ripping his collared shirt off and flopping onto his bed. “I’m busy.”

“With?” Seunggwan asks from their bathroom.

“I’ve got five courses this semester, including orgo. I’m always busy.” Seokmin argues.

“That would be convincing if I couldn’t hear clash music coming from your phone.”

“I have earphones in though!”

“You have one earphone in, and it’s really loud.” Seunggwan rolls his eyes, running his right hand through his bangs one last time and walking back into the room.

“What’s the point? Seunghee says parties aren’t fun unless you’re drunk and I don’t want to get wasted and die on a bench somewhere.” Seokmin whines, setting his phone down and rolling around so his face ends up exactly where he set his phone down. “Ouch.”

“So you’re leaving me to die on a bench somewhere?”

“You’ve got Mingyu going with you; you’ll be fine.” Seokmin reasons and Seunggwan throws a Mario plush from a shelf on the wall at him.

“Thank you, Lee Seokmin, for always having my back.”

“You’re welcome.” Seokmin replies, face broken out into another megawatt grin and Seunggwan tries not to notice that he’s topless. Again. The difference between his expression and biceps makes it hard to concentrate.

“This is ridiculous. You’re going to lock yourself in your room again for four years? How did high school work out for you?” Seunggwan points out, and soldiers on when Seokmin’s expression breaks. “C’mon, Hosh would want you to.”

“Hosh would want company.”

“Hosh is overflowing with love and attention. Give the little man some alone time.” Seunggwan argues, trying to drag Seokmin off his bed. When the guy doesn’t move Seunggwan pinches him, hard, in the side, and narrowly dodges Seokmin’s flailing legs because he’s distracted by the shrieks. “I will drag your dead, rotting corpse to Jeonghan’s party if I have to—you’re coming with me.”

“Why do you want to go so badly? And why do you want me to go so badly?!”

“Because you need to get out more.” Seunggwan argues, yanking on Seokmin’s dirty undershirt.

“Why do I have to change?”

“Whoops, that looks uncomfortable.” Seunggwan comments, opening his water bottle.

“What looks-” Seokmin starts, and sputters when Seunggwan starts splashing the water on him.

“Look at you, you’re soaked! Perfect timing, because you need to change.”

Getting Seokmin out of his clothes is easier than expected, and it doesn’t quite go how Seunggwan pictured it in his dreams, but getting him into a black collared shirt and matching denim that Seunggwan finds at the back of his closet is significantly more difficult. He can’t physically put the pants on the guy, but he can dig Seokmin’s econ homework out of his desk and rip it into padding for Hosh’s cage until Seokmin relents, hurries to get the jeans on, falls over in the process, but eventually gets dressed without any cotton ripping. Mingyu texts him at one point, saying he’s going to be late, so Seunggwan even has time to sit Seokmin on a toilet seat and style his hair up with an environmentally unstable combination of hair spray, styling mousse, and texturising spray.

“Let’s just get this over with.” Seokmin sighs, adjusting his collar. He pulls his phone out of his back pocket to check his reflection, and breaks out into a grin. “Hey, not bad. You done with me yet?”

“No.”

“What?”

“Let’s just go.” Seunggwan exclaims, clapping his hands. “We need to leave right now.”

“What happened to fashionably late?”

Jeonghan is a mutual friend from their Stats course, a Seattle native, and lives in a house with sixteen other kids he knows from high school. They’ll later learn it’s a four minute bus ride away, but they walk there in a solid seventeen, around six or seventeen of which are spent with Seokmin trying to duck back. Eventually the building is within sight, and Seokmin’s calmed down, and they’re arguing over a Korean name for Hosh as they approach the front door.

“One more thing. We’re roommates.” Seunggwan interrupts.

“Is that a question?”

“Is that a question? Never mind, don’t answer that.” Seunggwan shakes his head, stopping and waiting until Seokmin turns to him before continuing. “I don’t know what you’re… I don’t know but…w-we’re roommates. Okay. Our beds are in the same room. So if you… I don’t know-”

“Don’t worry about it.” Seokmin laughs, hugging Seunggwan and spinning them around in a circle.

“What?”

“I’m cute, not stupid.” Seokmin continues, kissing Seunggwan on the cheek and then hopping up the steps to the house.

“What?!”

“Are you coming or not?” Seokmin calls, opening the door and beckoning Seunggwan with an arm. “Why do you think I’m here?!”

 

 

 

“There’s dessert too? I feel spoiled; at home I’d just be eating microwave chicken nuggets and drinking a Coke.” Joshua laughs at his own admission, eyes curling. His kids must have a field day whenever he and Seokmin smile next to each other.

“Ketchup is forgiving of many sins.” Seunggwan comments, taking a sip of water right after.

“That’s very true.”

“I will go grab-” Seokmin starts, continuing this happy-go-lucky host persona, but Joshua abruptly stands and shakes his head.

“Before that, though, I was kind of full. Could I meet Hosh? I’ve only seen hedgehogs on YouTube.” Joshua says, expression earnest but ankles fidgety and Seunggwan gets up since the other two are already standing.

“Sure, Hosh’s room is down the hall.” Seokmin says, leading them to said room.

“Hosh has his own room?” Joshua asks, surprised, and when Seokmin opens the door the former sees two desks, an enormous bookshelf, and a giant wire cage.

“It’s really more of an office.” Seunggwan amends, as they make their way over to the cage. “And Hosh spends more time out of his cage than in it.”

Seokmin shoves Seunggwan in the shoulder instead of verbally coming to Hosh’s defense like he usually does, but his secretive grin falls a bit when they approach the cage and he can’t find Hosh. Joshua hangs back in anticipation as Seokmin scans the cage with his eyes, brows furrowing. He spots the spikey lump curled up under the water dispenser. “Hosh, there you are.” Seokmin grins, unlocking the hatch and flipping the door open to cup Hosh in his right hand. His grin falls immediately when Hosh doesn’t wake up even as he picks him up, and Seunggwan knows what’s going on as soon as he sees those beady eyes open even though the body’s limp, but can’t bring himself to say it. “Hosh? Hosh?! Why are you asleep, buddy, hey! Hosh?!”

“Seokmin…” Seunggwan manages to choke out, bringing his hand to Seokmin’s shoulder and tightening his fingers around the muscle when Seokmin tries to shake him off.

“Seunggwan? Why isn’t he moving?! Hosh?! Seunggwan, did you give him something? What’s he doing why isn’t he moving Seunggwan why aren’t you saying anything what’s going on is this some kind of joke-”

“Seokmin don’t-”

“I don’t understand! Hosh? What is going on why is he already asleep Hosh why aren’t you waking up why aren’t you waking up why aren’t you-”

“I drove.” Joshua cuts in, taking keys out of his pocket with his right hand and grabbing Seokmin’s arm with his left. “Seunggwan, could you look up the closest vet in the car? Let’s go.”

Seunggwan can’t process what happens next as separate events or words but at some point they do make it to the vet, Joshua reading the map off Seunggwan’s phone while Seunggwan distractedly glances at Seokmin, sitting in the back, clutching Hosh in both hands. His expression isn’t grim or panicked, but rather blank; his lips are relaxed in a flat line and his eyes downcast, but unfocused. All in all, somehow more soulless than that of the hedgehog he’s cradling with his life.

Seokmin kicks him and Joshua out of the vet office without so many words, and they awkwardly sit in the car for a couple of minutes before it gets too hot and they end up on the curb instead. Then it’s another half hour maybe, with Joshua texting for most of it and Seunggwan staring at his thumb nails, until the latter can’t sit around any longer and bursts into the office to see Seokmin clutching a black plastic bag in his hands, resting on his lap, back hunched enough to be concerning.

“Hey.” Joshua says, voice soft as he moves slowly and slides into the seat on Seokmin’s left. Seunggwan sits down on the right.

“How are you doing?” Seunggwan murmurs, and Seokmin looks up, towards the receptionist’s desk, and the corners of his lips are pulled up but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m fine. I’m doing fine; everything is fine. You know why?” Seokmin asks, nearly cackling by the last question. “Because I’m 23. Because I’m a 23 and there is nothing more pathetic than a 23 year old man crying over a spikey, overgrown rat in public, crying like he’s an eighteen year old boy who doesn’t know what he’s doing in life and he’s about to leave the only two people dear to his heart but they drop him off like he’s a trash bag at a curb and never look back.”

“Seokmin, don’t do that.” Seunggwan replies.

“I’m fine because I should be employed and supporting a family and setting down and being a filial son and I don’t have time to care about childhood-”

“Hey, can you do me a favour?” Joshua interrupts, linking his arm through Seokmin’s and dragging him up.

“I’m not sure-” Seunggwan starts.

“I want to have a funeral for him. For Hosh. Can we do that?” Joshua asks, with a small smile. Seokmin doesn’t respond for a few moments, so Joshua nods to Seunggwan and starts leading Seokmin out of the clinic, arms still linked.

Seunggwan isn’t sure what Joshua has planned, and all three of them are silent on the road; Seunggwan sits in the back with Seokmin this time, silent even when Seokmin leans a head onto his shoulder partway through the ride. Joshua parks where he did just a couple hours earlier for a normal, casual dinner. Seokmin doesn’t move when the car stops moving though, so Seunggwan looks down, expecting to see his boyfriend asleep but sees him boring holes into the black bag he’s still clutching. Seunggwan lifts a hand to help Seokmin lean up, but the man tightens his grip on the bag when Seunggwan moves. “Hey, keep a hand on him okay, we’re back at home now.”

There’s a chilly evening wind blowing by the time Seunggwan borrows a small, hand-held shovel from the fourth neighbor’s door he knocks on, and Joshua offers to dig the hole in the back, near the parking lots, while Seunggwan keeps an eye out to make sure their landlord doesn’t catch them defacing property. Seokmin sits by Joshua as he digs, while Seunggwan circles and tries to provide cover when necessary. It’s well past sun-set by the time the actual burial moves along, and after much though Seokmin puts Hosh in the hole plastic bag and all. They gather around for a few silent moments, staring at the ruined lawn, and Joshua looks to Seokmin after a few moments. Seokmin shakes his head, biting his bottom lip, and doesn’t speak for another few moments. “I think I want to lay down.”

“I was planning on heading back soon.” Joshua nods, throwing an arm around Seokmin first before pulling him in for a hug.

“Thanks for… thanks for coming over.” Seunggwan says when Joshua looks to him, and Joshua pulls him in for a shorter hug.

“No, actually, thank you for having me. It was… I appreciated meeting both of you.” Joshua grins, patting Seunggwan on the shoulder once more before brushing off the knees on his jeans and turning around to walk back to his car.

“Let’s head in.” Seunggwan motions to the door of Apartment 3, and following after Seokmin when he starts walking. They reach the door, Seunggwan unlocking it with his key, and after they take off their shoes Seokmin heads towards the kitchen but Seunggwan swerves him so they’re en route to the bedroom instead. “I’ll clear the up; you wanted to lay down.”

“I can-”

“Change first though, then lay down. I’ll grab you water soon.” Seunggwan interrupts, leaving once Seokmin’s crossed the doorway into their room and spining around to clear the kitchen out. He does a sloppy job, covering bowls of leftover food instead of transferring them into more space efficient tupperware containers, and quickly loads the dishwasher with glasses and empty plates but doesn’t run it. He grabs a water bottle from the pantry, checks the phone Seokmin left behind on the couch in case anyone called, and then heads back into their room to see Seokmin lying down in exactly what he’d been wearing earlier.

“Later, I promise.” Seokmin whispers when he sees Seunggwan going to open the water bottle for him, and Seunggwan sighs but sets the water bottle down on the ground and lets himself be dragged into bed. They’re both facing the door, and Seunggwan scoots back when he feels two arms and a chin clamp down around his waist and the top of his head, respectively.

“Do you want to sleep?” Seunggwan asks, and Seokmin shakes his head.

“I feel dumb.”

“Dumb isn’t a feeling.”

“You know what I mean.” Seokmin sighs, grip tightening. “Be honest with me; am I overreacting?”

“You don’t have trouble letting yourself be happy; let yourself be sad too. Whatever it is you want to be.” Seunggwan replies, clutching Seokmin’s hands around him. “I can take it.”

“Of course this is about you too.” Seokmin laughs softly, and Seunggwan grins too. “Hey, Seunggwan?”

“Hm?” Seunggwan asks, turning over and pushing himself up on the pillow so they’re eye to eye. Seokmin doesn’t respond, but interlaces the fingers on his right hand with the ones on Seunggwan’s left.

“Love you too.”