nico wasn't jealous.

 

or at least, he tried convincing himself that he wasn't.

 

he's been told countless times that he was good at hiding his emotions, so it didn't surprise him when leo bounced off happily to calypso after nico had reluctantly given him the permission to. 

nico sighed. leo was too dense sometimes. 

 

he tried to shake away the unfamiliar feeling in his chest when he saw calypso laughing(understatement, her head was thrown back and she was clutching at her stomach) at his jokes, leo smiling so hard at her that nico worried his face might split in  half. he felt a tug in his chest.

he might've scowled and clenched his fists too hard that he only noticed it when percy sat next to him. "woah there, ghost king, you okay bro?" he asked, frowning while looking at the younger's hands. 

"huh?" nico blinked, tearing his eyes away from the two people who were having the time of their lives, completely oblivious that someone was watching them. "oh. yeah, i'm fine, why?"

the son of poseidon raised his eyebrows. "why do you look like you're about to kill someone while looking at leo and..." percy faltered, realising the situation. he muttered a small oh. "styx, what happened?" 

nico's eyes darkened and he looked away. "it's nothing you have to worry about, perseus jackson."

"c'mon man, you can tell me anything. obviously there's something wrong," percy insisted.

nico sighed again. he looked longingly at leo and calypso again. this time she was smiling shyly, pink dusting her flawless cheeks. nico felt like throwing up. "is calypso better than me?" he blurted.

percy looked taken aback. "i mean, is she... do you think leo likes her instead?" 

"i- i'm not sure, nico. tell me everything," 

so nico did. he told him how leo doesn't spend that much time with him anymore, always going to calypso. when nico asked him why are you hanging around her so much nowadays, he'd only replied with she's my best friend, and anyways she finally got out of ogygia nonchalantly. it was like leo didn't give a about nico's feelings anymore, or nico himself, really. he never tried to joke with him anymore, hell, he barely even tried to strike up a conversation with him anymore. he told percy how insecure he felt, that maybe leo finally realised how useless nico is, or maybe leo was embarrassed to be with him because he was the son of hades and everyone feared him, or maybe leo liked girls instead now.

 

nico swallowed a lump in his throat. "i love him, percy. i really do. but i feel like... like he doesn't feel the same way anymore," he forced out. 

when nico finished, percy looked like he was ready to kill the son of hephaestus for doing this to his friend. "son of a hephaestus, that piece of schist needs to burn in tartarus, what the hell is he thinking?" he spat through gritted teeth.

just as he was about to get up and give leo a piece of his mind, nico held him down. "don't, percy. i- i'll talk to him later. just... don't," 

it was percy's turn to scowl.

 

                                                                       ....

 

that night, nico was so nervous that he started summoning the undead unintentionally. stop it, he scolded himself. you're the son of hades, god of the underworld. you can't be scared of things like this. he manned up and walked over to their shared bedroom, if you can even call it that anymore since leo barely goes home nowadays. he opened the door and saw leo scrolling through his phone, smiling idly. he sat at the edge of the bed and braced himself for what's about to come.

"hey leo..." he started softly.

"sup dude." leo replied, not even looking away from his phone once. nico resisted the urge to scoff.

"i need to talk to you about something,"  he said, sounding louder this time. 

"yeah go ahead," he muttered. 

nico clenched his jaw. "leo." leo raised his eyebrow, obviously not getting the hint nico was trying to give him.

 

finally, nico snatched his phone away from him. "what the hell, man? that's my phone!" leo exclaimed, his brows furrowed.

"can you listen to me for once?" nico pleaded. 

leo sighs loudly in frustration and nico felt his heart clench. "fine, what is it?" 

 

"you like calypso," it wasn't really a question since it was so obvious, but he added 'right?' in anyway. he swallowed as he watched leo eyeing him suspiciously.

"why?" leo asked, his voice lower than usual. "you jealous?"

of course i'm jealous, you ! nico yelled in his mind. "answer it," 

 

"yeah, yeah i do. a lot, actually. there, you have your answer, can you give me my phone back now?"

 

                                                                  ....

 

nico's heart stopped beating and he couldn't breathe. he had ran(again, understatement) out of their house after leo had admitted that he does in fact like the daughter of atlas so nonchalantly. he stumbled to the nearest brick wall and gripped it so hard his knuckles became white, trying to catch his breath. blinking, he wanted to stop the tears from flowing out of his eyes, but he just couldn't. he couldn't do anything nowadays, he couldn't eat, he couldn't drink, he couldn't think properly, he couldn't smile or laugh like last time when leo always joked around with him.

 

he couldn't get leo to love him back anymore.

he felt like his heart was being stabbed by a million knives as realization dawned onto him. 

leo was gone. he loved someone else. his mind wandered off to their old memories, how they were so young and so inexperienced, yet loved each other unconditionally. leo had accepted him for who he was(at least, last time). leo was the one who could make nico laugh and smile when everyone else ran away from him. nico had fallen so deeply for the son of hephaestus, but the old leo has disappeared...

stop, nico thought, grimacing in pain as hot tears ran down his pale, smooth face. all those months, when nico had put all his trust and love(well, as much as a son of hades can give, anyways) to him, had all gone to waste. nico looked up at the sky. curse you, aphrodite, cupid, venus, eros- he cursed everything that involved love. he didn't care about anything at that time. if the gods he mentioned wanted to kill him, great, he's better off dying anyways. 

nico started feeling lightheaded, the world around him spinning slowly. the last thing he remembered was collapsing to the ground, his vision fading to black.

 

                                                                     ....

 

 

nico woke up, his skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. for once, he didn't feel anything. 

 

"he's awake," he heard a girl's voice whisper.

 

will solace, son of apollo, walked up to him and sat on the chair next to the bed. "what happened?"

nico tried to remember what had actually happened.

oh. 

there was the feeling of abandonment, hurt and betrayal again. "i- what- why am i here?" 

 

"leo found you not too far away from your house. you fainted on the ground. styx, you need to eat and drink more," will explained, worry decorating his features.

 

he studied the room he was in. there sat annabeth and percy at the corner, discussing about something he couldn't be bothered to care about. he stood up, or tried to, more like. his legs were like jelly, he couldn't balance properly. he lost balance and almost fell if it wasn't for will catching him before he could reach the ground. 

"nico, you're not supposed to walk yet. you're not fully healthy," will tried to warn him, but nico brushed him off.

"doesn't matter," he snapped through gritted teeth. he forced himself to walk out the room and get the hell out of here, as far as possible. this place reminded him too much of leo and the past events, the things they used to do there. 

bad choice. right after he opened the door, leo and calypso were sitting together near the lake. leo had one arm around her waist as their front faced the lake, sitting on the grass. nico cursed in ancient greek. why is the world so against him? he just wanted the pain to stop. suddenly, he missed bianca. she was the only one who knew how to make him feel better at times like this. he felt like all the people he loved became the people he lost. he wanted it all to stop. he wanted to die.

no one would miss me anyways, he thought. 

he watched as the two new lovebirds being all lovey-dovey together. nico knew he had to move on. he had to accept that leo was gone, just like bianca. he needed to stop thinking about leo. he needed a break. he needed to get away from here.

"i'm sorry, nico." 

 

nico turned around and saw percy standing there, hands in his pockets. he looked disappointed, hopefully at leo and not at him. he turned back around and saw leo and calypso walking towards the hephaestus cabin. 

 

he smiled bitterly and shrugged as if it was normal to him. curse you, valdez.

 

---- a/n: IM SO SORRY THIS LOOKS SO RUSHED its like 1 am and i gotta catch a flight early in the morning tomorrow so im kinda sleepy but also kinda wanna finish this :') for comments, requests or more you can contact me through my tumblr account @yujungkook , i do percy jackson and kpop imagines/fanfics -3- please bare with me. i promise you i'll get better--