Yoojung looks into the bathroom mirror. Wide eyes stare back at her, at her increasingly pale face framed by her soft bangs. Hands clasped onto the sides of the sink, she takes in a huge breath and exhales.

“I can do it. I can do it,” she chanted to herself.

No, I can’t.

Yes. I can.

“No, you can’t.”

Yoojung glares at her friend and roommate, who’s leaning against the wall and smirking at her, for interrupting her internal monologue. Sometimes Yoojung forgets why Doyeon is her best friend, when her only redeeming quality is her stupidly pretty face. Definitely not her stupidly tall height or her stupid puns. Though deep inside Yoojung knows: even if Doyeon makes fun of her everyday, she’s also the one who’ll unconditionally protect her.

“Shut up, Doyeon,” Yoojung retorts, fingers combing nervously through her hair again. “I have to do this today, otherwise I’ll never be bold enough.”

“Then don’t be.”

Yoojung glances at Doyeon again, only to see that her face is of an unreadable expression. She’s slightly taken back, since Doyeon isn't usually one for curt replies. Doyeon must’ve noticed, because her expression immediately softens.

“Yoojung-ah....”she reaches over, placing her hands firmly upon Yoojung’s tiny shoulders. “I…” she sighs. “I just don’t want you to get hurt…Chaeyeon’s just our RA, that’s it.”

That’s not true. Yoojung has gone on strawberry latte dates with Chaeyeon (Yoojung definitely does not memorize Chaeyeon’s schedule to always chance upon her at the cafe), spent time alone with Chaeyeon in her dorm room (they’re really just mandatory individual check-ups the RA has to do with each resident), and even stayed up with her to study (or more like the other way around because Chaeyeon doesn’t have the heart to reject Yoojung when the latter’s grades are so pitiful).

Yoojung shrugs off Doyeon, whose expression flashes darkly before composing herself. “I’m still going to try.”

Doyeon tries again. “We all know Chaeyeon unnie is aware of you liking her. There’s no point.”

That part is true. Yoojung doesn’t like how she’s so obvious, but her heart is determined. Chaeyeon may know already, but Yoojung still holds to the sliver of hope that, maybe if she confesses openly, her love interest will give her a chance. There is a point to this.

Even more, she’s been planning this for weeks now, ever since she was so desperate enough to ask random strangers online for relationship advice. She’s only told Doyeon about this though; in case things don’t end up well, not many people will have to know of her incoming humiliation.

Every end of the school year, the freshmen and their RAs (resident advisors) are invited to a nighttime getaway on a local harbor cruise ship. A dance party was well on its way downstairs, with rowdy college students sneaking shots of alcohol here and there, while the upstairs was packed full of food and games.

If this isn’t the perfect opportunity, where she can get to Chaeyeon privately in such an appropriate setting, there will be no more chances. She gives herself one hour, only one hour, to make her move. Any more, and she’ll only chicken out for the nth time.

Taking one last deep breath, Yoojung steps out of the bathroom. Sighing, Doyeon can only follow. They join their friends in one of the dining halls, right behind the front deck. As expected, Chaeyeon is there, talking to some of her other residents. Chaeyeon, the one who has caused her all this turmoil. Kind, soft, lovely, sweet Chaeyeon.

“Yah, what took you so long?” Somi nudges Yoojung when she sees them. “We couldn’t find you guys.”

“Huh?” Yoojung is unfocused, her attention diverted to Pinky leaning too closely to her Chaeyeon.

Before Yoojung can answer, Somi is already gone, cackling away with Mina at something probably incredibly lame. Yoojung rolls her eyes playfully as a small smile tugs at her lips. Her friends may be idiots and total butts sometimes, but god knows how much she loves them. Though to be quite honest, she doesn't even know how they all got into college.

Doyeon chuckles, and is just about to join them when she accidentally glances at Yoojung, and follows her friend’s gaze to a particular person in the opposite corner. Her chuckle dies in .

Just as Yoojung is about to follow Chaeyeon, who’s leaving for the front deck, she feels a grip on her wrist. Turning around, she expects Doyeon to make some biting comment again to deter her; instead, Doyeon fixes her jacket collar for her, and lightly sweeps her bangs to the side.

“There, you look better now,” Doyeon tries to give an encouraging smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Yoojung, now a nervous wreck, doesn’t notice. “Good luck, Jungie. Go get her.”

Suddenly immensely grateful for her friend, and feeling a tad guilty for telling her to shut up earlier, Yoojung wraps her arms around Doyeon’s waist and gives her the tightest squeeze her tiny body can give.

“I’ll see you later, Doyeonie,” she beams. Before Doyeon can react, Yoojung lets go and glances around carefully, slipping out to follow Chaeyeon before anyone else can see her. Doyeon palms her cheeks, which had instantaneously heated up. She breathes in sharply, and goes off to joins her friends who are much too preoccupied with the dessert selection.

---

Yoojung catches Chaeyeon at the far end of the empty deck, standing alone.

“Ch-Chaeyeon unnie?” Yoojung doesn’t know why she’s stuttering, or why her voice is so high-pitched, when she’s practiced this every day.

Chaeyeon turns around - or maybe that’s too simple of a word to describe such a goddess in Yoojung’s eyes. She twirls around, and everything goes in slow motion for Yoojung. Her breath hitches as the moonlight scatters over Chaeyeon. Chaeyeon’s soft features glow under the moon, her long hair not the slightest ruffled despite the breeze, while her simple black dress hugs her figure perfectly. Yoojung blinks a few time, suddenly aware that she’s been gawking for too long and that she needs to pick up her jaw.

“Oh, Yoojung, do you need me for anything?” Chaeyeon asks, a little startled by Yoojung’s presence. Yoojung doesn’t know how someone’s voice can be melodious without even trying, and her insides turn to goo when she hears her name in that voice.

“Yoojung?”

Yoojung suddenly sees Chaeyeon standing right in front of her, head cocked to the side adorably, and she stumbles out of surprise. Just as Chaeyeon is about to reach for her, eyes filled with concern, Yoojung stands upright, mentally cursing her clumsiness that she’s been born with.

“I’m-I’m okay!” She also mentally groans at her unnecessarily loud voice. She clears . “I just wanted to talk to you.”

Chaeyeon smiles sweetly. “Sure, let’s sit down. My legs are a little sore from dancing anyways.” She guides them to a bench built on the side, and Yoojung catches herself before she stares at Chaeyeon’s legs for too long.

They sit down, Chaeyeon sitting with proper posture as usual, Yoojung hunched a little, suddenly very engrossed in the loose thread from her dress. Yoojung doesn't dare let their shoulders touch, else she might forget all her thoughts.

Chaeyeon breaks the silence first. “Are you having fun?” Yoojung nods, anxiety creeping in, and she's suddenly not so sure if she can be as bold as she told Doyeon she would be.

“That's good.” Yoojung can hear the genuine gladness in Chaeyeon’s reply. “It's my first time on the committee. I was worried you guys would find the cruise too boring. The dance floor was fun though, I'm glad we got this DJ-”

“Unnie.”

Chaeyeon finally turns to look at Yoojung. “Yes?” Her usually soft gaze seems to bore through Yoojung, and Yoojung feels as if her those eyes can pierce her soul. She wouldn't be surprised; her pounding heart sure does feel that way.

Yoojung doesn’t want to look at Chaeyeon directly yet; instead, she turns and stares ahead, hoping the twinkling stars and city lights aren’t mocking her. “I think you know what I’m going to say.”

She hears Chaeyeon’s soft breaths. “I know. Just say it, it’s okay.”

She can hear the hum of the engine, the muffled music of the party still going on, the whisper of the breeze, all in the background. The boat sways leisurely, nothing compared to the erratic beating of her heart. Only one thing is important right now. She knows this is the moment.

Finally mustering up the courage, Yoojung stares right back at Chaeyeon. “Unnie, I like you. Not as an underclassman or a friend, but as a woman.”

Chaeyeon doesn't answer immediately; instead her lips pout a little, as if she's brooding. She kicks her feet lightly, and Yoojung would've squealed at the cute gesture if the situation wasn't so tense.

“Okay.”

Yoojung doesn't know how to process this, but when she exhales deeply, she realizes she was holding her breath in.

“Sorry...what?” is all her dumb mouth can come up with.

“Okay,” Chaeyeon replies simply.

“Just...okay?” Yoojung almost whispers this, in disbelief.

Chaeyeon offers an apologetic smile, and Yoojung wishes she didn't see the pity in Chaeyeon’s eyes.

Yoojung feels the tears threaten to spill out, but she holds it in. She isn't that oblivious - judging by Chaeyeon’s hesitance, she knows Chaeyeon doesn't feel the same. Doyeon was right - her insistence on confessing was pointless. Now, the least she can do is keep her pride.

“If you don't like me back...c-can you at least reject me?” Yoojung’s voice shakes a little, but she doesn't allow herself to cry. She knew this might happen, but it doesn’t hurt any less. Instead she hangs her head low and talks into the lap. “So I don't have anything to hold on to.”

There's a pause before Chaeyeon answers. Yoojung knows Chaeyeon wants to console her more than anything, because Chaeyeon hates to see anyone cry. But she can't, because then Yoojung will fall even deeper.

“I'm sorry,” Chaeyeon apologizes. “I can't do that to you. I don't feel the same way, but I do love you as a younger sister and my favorite underclassman. You're a good friend, and you don't deserve to be coldly rejected.”

And Yoojung finally feels her heart shatter. She swears she can even hear the broken pieces, tinkling cruelly, ringing in her ears. She realizes why she loves Chaeyeon so much. Chaeyeon is too kind. The problem is, she's too kind to everyone. And Yoojung fell for that damned kindness.

She doesn't dare look at Chaeyeon, because she doesn't want to do anything she regrets. She feels Chaeyeon’s gaze, cautious and hesitant, before she feels her hand, softly rubbing her back.

“I'm sorry,” Chaeyeon whispers, over and over again. “I'm sorry.”

Yoojung wants to push her away, to scream at her to stop saying sorry, but she can only sniffle as silent tears drip onto her lap.

“It's okay,” she hiccups. “I'll...I’ll get over it.” She doesn't know when she will. “Can you go? I...want some alone time.”

She feels the hand on her back linger a little more firmly, then dropping. She doesn't see Chaeyeon get up, but she definitely feels the sudden gush of taunting cold air where Chaeyeon was.

“I'll see you later, Yoojung.” And then she was gone, as if the confession never happened.

Yoojung sobs into her hands. Doyeon was damn right she’d get hurt.

---

Doyeon notices Chaeyeon slipping back into the room, but there's no Yoojung with her. Chaeyeon doesn't say anything to anyone, but judging from her knit eyebrows, Doyeon has an idea of what went on.

She sighs. She thinks Chaeyeon is cool and all, but there’s  no reason for Yoojung to be so lovesick over her. Doyeon hates that ever since the first day they moved into the dorms and Chaeyeon came to introduce herself, she was no longer Yoojung’s favorite person. Chaeyeon was.

Doyeon’s not sure when her crush on her best friend started. She just remembers that when Yoojung first moved into her neighborhood 12 years ago and got pushed around by the oversized neighborhood bully, she got into her first fistfight. Doyeon got grounded later, but Yoojung’s grateful smile beaming from her mud-splattered face was worth it. She’s not sure whether her instinct to protect Yoojung came first, or her love for Yoojung, but both definitely developed stronger and stronger over the years.

Yoojung may be lovesick, but so is Doyeon. Just as almost everyone knows about Yoojung’s puppy love for Chaeyeon, everybody except for clueless Yoojung knows how smitten Doyeon is for her .

But Doyeon would never sabotage her best friend for her own love. If Yoojung thinks that Chaeyeon is the best, then so be it. So she continues to be her usual playful self, making fun of Yoojung to nurse her broken heart-

“AHHHH!!” Doyeon lurches backwards, nearly falling out of her chair when a button nose and dewy eyes suddenly materialize in front of her. She realizes it's Chaeyeon, who's reached over and steadied her chair and saved her from an uncalled-for death.

Doyeon sees from the side that Somi and the rest had glanced over, but no one bothered to see if she was okay. Thanks guys.

She turns her attention back to Chaeyeon, already knowing why she’s there.

“Do you need anything?” Doyeon is surprised at her own voice, laced with steel.

Chaeyeon visibly winces, but Doyeon could care less. The former bites her tongue lightly, unsure of how to start.

“Yoojung…may need you right now. I’m sorry,” Chaeyeon smiles apologetically and leaves before Doyeon can fist her collar (do dresses even have collars?) and threaten her.

Doyeon sighs and pushes herself off the chair and decides to see how Yoojung is faring.

---

She hears Yoojung before she sees her, hunched over on the side bench. Yoojung isn’t a loud crier, but instead is the type to try to hold it in, reducing the sobs to whine while tears endlessly stream down her face.

Doyeon is prepared to snark at Yoojung, to mock her once again that she’s right and Yoojung’s not, but as soon as she sees Yoojung’s pitiful state, all snide thoughts fly out.

Yoojung doesn’t know that Doyeon is on the deck until she feels slender, but lean, arms wrap around her tiny frame. Yoojung recognizes the firm embrace all too familiarly, and leans into it, heaving with her face buried in the crook of Doyeon’s neck.

“It’s okay, Jungie. It’s okay,” Doyeon murmurs, running her fingers soothingly through Yoojung’s hair.

Yoojung sniffles a little more, finally calming down a bit. “You were right,” Yoojung mumbles. “It was pointless all along. I’m so useless-”

A firm grip on both cheeks interrupts her self-deprecating, as Doyeon forces Yoojung to look at her.

“No. You’re not. Don’t you dare say that.”

The ferocity in Doyeon’s eyes sears a little into Yoojung.

“It wasn’t pointless. You’re not useless. You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. If it was me, I would never have been able to do that.”

Yoojung swallows, the rims of her eyes filled with tears again, but this time with proud, thankful tears.

“Really? You really think so?” Her voice shakes again, but the sadness doesn’t linger as much anymore.

Doyeon nods, and tucks Yoojung back into her arms. “Yoojung, I don’t want you to get hurt again. Let me take care of you.” Her voice drops to a husky whisper, but Yoojung doesn’t miss it.

Without thinking, Doyeon closes her eyes and leans in, pressing her lips to Yoojung’s forehead. She presses them tenderly, lingering a little too long, and Yoojung momentarily forgets the pain, and wonders if this is what love is like, if this is what Doyeon talks about all the time when they argue about Chaeyeon.

Doyeon continues to run her fingers through Yoojung’s hair as her lips break away softly, and Yoojung almost misses the comforting contact. Gazing over Yoojung’s head to the nothingness in the distance, she continues to whisper her promise. “I’ll take care of you, Yoojung. I’ll take care of you.”

I’ll take care of you.

--------------------------------------------------

A/N: This fic hits a little too close to home, because I based it off of my own experience in senior year of high school. I had a crush of seven years, and it was common knowledge that I liked him. I wanted to tell him before graduation, just because it felt fitting to lay it out in front of both of us. Yoojung and Chaeyeon’s interactions are more exaggerated than my own of course. The dialogue was very similar, except we talked more about college and classes, and I didn’t really cry about it. And of course, there was no Doyeon-like person to save the day xD

Please leave lots of comments! And you can follow me at twitter.com/moohiyay or ask me anything at ask.fm/taengerines :)