Today is supposed to be the first week of summer but climate change has messed up the world as much as the majority of today’s teenagers’ and young adults’ body clocks. And it was at three in the morning when Seungcheol decides to take a stroll on the park just across his apartment. The chilly wind had created a wave of nostalgia that has left his fingertips shaking. He cursed to himself for not bringing his mittens. But when he thinks of it again, he’d be happier to leave them where they are.

It was during winter when they first met, Seungcheol was invited to a Christmas party by his colleagues. They agreed to bring their close friends along and Soonyoung, one of Seungcheol’s closest friends in the workplace, has brought with him his petite friend with a stunning pair of eyes and a voice to die for. They had a gift exchange event and somehow Seungcheol and the friend, whose name was Jihoon, swapped their gifts with each other. The twinkle in Jihoon’s eyes upon receiving the bright orange scarf caused Seungcheol’s heart to skip a couple of beats. And since then, the latter has kept the baby blue mittens in a safe place, making sure it’s the very thing he wakes up to every morning.

Not long after he got lost in his daydream, he sat on one of the swings and stared off into nothingness. He didn’t mind the small pats of raindrops hitting on his head, as if the weather has been giving him the knocks on the head he told himself he needed the most. His clothes started to stick on his skin while the scent of the earth and rain hit his senses. And like he was in a cinema, he saw another memory flash before his eyes as two people who were under an umbrella were dashing through the rain in a frantic search for proper shelter.

A couple of months have passed and the only trace of Jihoon that he has encountered would be the baby blue mittens on the shelf and the memory of the other’s smile during that day. Curerntly he’s on noon break and taking a breather at one of the cafes near his workplace. It was all good with the music to match his mood until the heavy clouds started to pool on the area, and droplets that were uncalled for started to fall one by one. He quickly finished his meal and drink before rushing to head back to the building before he gets drenched considering he brought no umbrella or an extra set of clothes. In the middle of his sprint, the rain started to come down mercilessly, and so he stopped at a nearby shelter, sighing at the image of his drenched hair, clothes, and shoes. Moments later, a man whose face was covered by a dark blue umbrella approached him. “Come with me.” He said, and Seungcheol blindly agreed due to desperation of being punctual. The happenings under the umbrella caused the older’s world to spin in slow motion. Despite the heavy scent of the earth, he’d never forget the light musk that overwhelmed his senses, the bright orange scarf flowing gracefully with the wind, and his drenched left shoulder that didn’t get sheltered from the umbrella. As they arrive on the building’s entrance, both stopped to catch their breaths. And before Jihoon could leave, Seungcheol grabbed onto his wrist just in the nick of time and asked for his number.

Even though Seungcheol didn’t mind the rain, he felt his fingers going numb and thus decided to shove them in his coat pockets. ‘Why didn’t I think of this before?’ he thought to himself, then deduced that the heartbreak he’s been experiencing for within the month has given him the case of anhedonia of the mildest degree. The memory of Jihoon caused the corner of his eyes to sting, and a warm droplet that contrasted to that of the ones from the sky flowed on his cheek, blending amongst the countless droplets that have landed on his face and hair. His fingers graze on something light and hard on one of the pockets, but he decides to ignore it for now. When he’s wandered far enough to find a quiet and empty bus stop, he takes the material out of its pocket and stares absentmindedly at the plastic ring for a while. The tears continue to flow as he recalls yet another memory.

It was a sunny Friday noon when Seungcheol and Jihoon have agreed to meet for lunch. It has been two months since they’ve started dating and things have been going smoothly for the two so far. Jihoon had his weekly bout of mood swings and they had their fair share of fights but they made sure to talk about it and make up as soon as possible. Today, they were spending their second monthsary on a casual date, with Seungcheol being his usual self trying to feed Jihoon some salad leaves while the younger’s cheeks are dusted with pink as he refuses because they’re in public. After their lunch, they decided to take an impromptu stop at the nearest candy store and Seungcheol bought two of those ring lollipops from way back. They stopped and ate at the park while indulging in the taste of nostalgia and the fresh flower-scented spring air. When Seungcheol was finished with his ring lollipop, he wiped the remnants of it on the corner of his shirt and knelt down in front of JIhoon, taking the other’s hand. “What are you, five?” was Jihoon’s response, but nevertheless, they spent the rest of the day full of laughter and love.

The rain has started to gradually subside, and Seungcheol’s on his way again, the light pats of his feet on the floor causing ripples on the puddle underneath. He tries to look at his reflection on the ground but his eyesight was blurry and the streets were dimly lit. He can only see the ripples caused by the droplets, flowing out and spreading across the wet plane effortlessly and rhythmically. Not long after, he’s back in his apartment room, a trail of droplets and wet footprints left behind him. He manages to look at the window and he gets reminded of a dark blue umbrella and a figure slamming his door shut. That was the last day he has seen and spoken to Jihoon. For whatever happened between the two of them, Seungcheol chooses to forget. He didn’t like remembering the sight of Jihoon’s tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes that brimmed with tears. He couldn’t bear remembering the sight of the guy who was once his lover, looking at him as if the entire world has been shattered as he announced that they were through. He can’t stand the thought of Jihoon trying to look so stoic after breaking the news and turning his back when he caught a glimpse of that split second when there was a tiny gap in Jihoon’s well-built walls, showing his vulnerability.

And today like usual, despite having warmth and a roof over Seungcheol, the rain for him hasn’t stopped. And he doesn’t know when it will.