===

”Since when I type the message that I never send?”

”He always sees something that far away, which is hard for me to get.”

”I have realized that he never sees me, and I never can give the true thing he really wants. In spite of like that, I’m sure when tomorrow comes, or the days after, or other days after it, I will always haven’t strength by his love.”

===

Chapter 02 : Empty Hopes

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(Eunji POV)

          I closed my eyes as I heard his piano playing. Sonata No.14 (Moonlight) Third Movement, created by Beethoven. As the melody got intense, my heartbeat got wild. Never once his finger missed the note, he played smoothly and precisely, even I didn’t realize that my steps brought me to the place where he played the piano.

            ”Daebak, as always,” I commented after he finished. He looked at me, smiled.

            ”Since when you’re standing there?”

            ”I don’t know.”

            He took the note book, then looked at something that I brought along. ”Do you have music class today?”

            ”Aniyo.” I answered his question.

            ”Then?”

            I walked toward him, brought my face closer to his. ”If you don’t mind, could you be my pianist?” I whispered to him.

”For what?” he asked, pushed me a little far from him.

            ”I will tell you if you say “yes”.”

            He didn’t say anything, just shook his head in disbelief. Then he collected his things, ready to leave the music room. ”You ask something so difficult, you know?” He said as he walked out from the music room. I immediately followed him from behind. ”I’m very busy this recent time, better you ask someone else.”

            ”Then, what about Hyerin sunbae last time?”

            He stopped, ”Ah... Hyerin sunbae, it was... because she’s my neighbor and she’s my partner in classical music club.” He said with innocent face then walked again.

            ”Taekwoon-ah!!!” I screamed out his name while I stomped the floor.

            Instead of stopped he choose to run as fast as he could toward his classroom. I pouted my lips, ”Nappeun namja.”

===

            My name is Jung Eunji, 3rd year of college student. I like music, sweet cake, ice cream, etc. I joined music club in my college, played violin. The boy who has made me exasperated this morning is my boy best-friend. His name is Jung Taekwoon. He has a pair of brown eyes, short wavy black hair, and tall figure. He’s good in every single thing he did : study, sport, etc. Same as me, he also joined the music club in my college, he played piano.

            ”Why your face is like that?” Naeun, my classmate asked me.

            ”He refused my request,” I answered shortly.

            ”He? You mean... Taekwoon?”

            I nodded, then sighed. ”What should I do?”

            ”What else? Ask him until he accepts your request. Even you said he refused to be your pianist, in the end he will does it.”

            ”Jinjja?!”

            ”Have you failed just to make him grants your wish?”

            I got dumbfounded by her question. Since he became my friend, he always say “yes” to everything I asked him, even that’s the difficult thing to do. I smiled to myself, realized that the refusing act this morning’s just his usual act that he always showed when I asked something to him.

            ”You’re right, Naeun. Who am I couldn’t make him say “yes” to my wish?”

===

            Jung Taekwoon, he’s my best-friend, that’s others thought about him. But, for me he’s more than a best-friend. He is my first love. I don’t know since when I considered him as my first love. The simplest thing I knew that I have a special feeling toward him is every thing that he did make my world looked more colorful. Naeun said that when you’re falling in love, “the moment I met him, my life changed. Everything I see, everything I hear, everything I feel... the scenery, all around me became doused in colorful light.”

            ”Daydreaming again?” suddenly his melodious voice brought me to the reality. I blinked my eyes then shook my head.

            ”Taekwoon-ah, about my request...”

            ”Sirheo.”

            ”Waeyo?”

            ”I don’t want to ruin your performance, also my playing style doesn’t suit you. If we play instrument together, I don’t think we would make a beautiful performance.”

            I stayed silent, didn’t reply on his statement.

            ”Eunji-ya, why...”

            ”I knew you will say that,” I cut him. His brown orbs stared at my greyish orbs. ”You always say that whenever I asked you to be my pianist. But this time... can you just say “yes”? I don’t want the reward, I don’t want the trophy, I just... I just want to play instrumen with you, Taekwoon-ah.”

            As I finished, his expression seemed a bit confused. ”You really know how to annoy me, aren’t you Eunji-ya?” He took his bag, then messed up my hair. He left the music room in slow pace.

            ”I took it as a yes !” I shouted to him.

            ”Do as what you want,” he replied, then disappeared from my sight.

            ”Gomawo, Taekwoon-ah,” I whispered, looked down at my own hands. They looked a bit hazy. I sighed, ”I have to make it in the right time. I don’t want to leave all of this in regret.”

===

            ”You have an appointment today?” I asked Taekwoon on our way back home.

            ”Aniyo, I just... I have anything to do in music club today, so I decided to go home early.”

            Since the 1st year of our college life, we always going home together. In our way back home, we often shared our stories, the happy one also the sad one. Usually we argued about something too, and I felt that is the normal things that used to be in our friendship.

            ”Recently, you didn’t talk much. Has something happened to you?”

            Yes. Something all about you have troubled me.

            ”Really? I don’t think so.”

            ”Your violin competition...” He paused. ”Have you decided what piece you will play?”

            I stayed silent for awhile, looked at his back which is two steps forward from my place. ”Love’s sorrow,” I replied in low tone.

            ”Why?” He asked me without looking back at me.

            ”Mwo?” I asked him back.

            ”Why’re you choosing that piece?”

            Because it’s your favorite piece, you always play it... so sincerely.

            ”Geunyang.”

            ”Tsk. What kind of that reason?” He commented.

            ”Then... what’s your reason playing it every day in your music room?”

             My question’s like surprised him. As I finished my question, he stopped then looked at the cherry blossom trees near the bridge where we walked on.

            ”Love sorrow. It’s reminded me of someone I long for.” He said it like whisper but loud enough to be heard by me.

            The spring wind blew slowly toward us, made some of cherry blossom fell on the ground beautifully. He always sees something that far away, which is hard for me to get. I knew that fact clearly since the day I fell in love for him. I knew that I never be that “someone” he longed for.

            ”It’s a competition, Eunji-ya. Why aren’t you played another piece? Like... Kreutzer, Beethoven’s Violin Sonata No.9.” He asked me while looking at the fallen cherry blossom on his shoes.

            ”Geunyang.” I said that reason again. ”Taekwoon-ah, make sure you attend the practice tomorrow afternoon at music room, ara?” With that, I bid him goodbye, then left him with confused face.

===

            I laid my tired body on my bed. Looked at my ceiling, full of little stars shape glued on it. Just like the stars, he’s also so far away from me. He only sees me as a ordinary friend, nothing more than that. He already has someone in his heart that never could be replaced by me. I closed my eyes, tighten my grips on the bedsheet. Suddenly a shock hit in my head, felt so unbearable. A silent sob screamed out from my trembled lips. God, please help me.

===

            My eyes can’t left even one second, looked at him who played the first verse of Love’s Sorrow piece. The spring wind which is blew from the opened windows made his black hair a bit messy.

            ”Can you stop starring me and start our practice?” He asked as he stopped his playing.

            ”Arasso, Mr. Perfectionist,” I .

            I positioned my violin on my left shoulder, then closed my eyes. I felt the scent of cherry blossoms through the wind which is hit my face. I started scraping the violin’s cords, played the notes of Love’s Sorrow. His melodious piano playing eased my feeling, brought me to the sky. As the playing goes on, deep in my heart I hoped that the moment I have with him lasted forever. I love him, so much... but I can’t said it, I can’t told him. I’m afraid... I’m afraid if I confessed to him, I’ll lose him... lose him, as friend and as someone whom I love. I opened my eyes as both of us played the last verge of Love’s Sorrow. A beautiful smile drew out from his thin lips as the playing ended.

            ”That’s so lovely, Eunji-ya.”

            I kept starring at him, memorizing his handsome face. I love you... so much!, I want to said it loud in front of him, but... that words, became a long sigh so they flew in my heart.

            ”Geuraeyo?” I said after several minutes drown in my own fantasy.

            ”You must played it for someone so special. You perceived it so well, I wonder who’s in your heart when you played it,” Taekwoon said without looked at me.

            It’s you, Taekwoon-ah. Instead of saying that, I choose to put my violin back to its place. Then sat beside him, put my head on his left shoulder. ”I’m still one hundred left behind than you, Taekwoon-ah.”

            ”Eunji-ya...”

            ”Taekwoon-ah, look!” I said as my index finger pointed at the cherry blossoms trees near the music room. ”The falling cherry blossoms is so beautiful. They fell... 5 cm per second?”

            I could tell that Taekwoon looked at me as I said the last phrase.

            ”5 cm per second... huh?” Taekwoon mumbled but loud enough to be heard by me.

            Both of us remained silent, looked blankly at the opened windows. The sunlight filtering as it get close through the lifely cherry blossom trees. The sunset gently waving in the crimson twilight. Spring breeze blew as I closed my eyes. Like the wind, like the dust... I can’t catch him, I can’t hold on his heart.

            ”Taekwoon-ah...” I called him.

            ”Mwo?”

            ”Can you promise me one thing?” I sat straight beside him, looked at his dark orbs. I hold his hands tight, felt like that’s my last time to hold his. My vision got blurred because of the tears filled my eyes.

            ”Say it,” He responded several minutes after I asked him.

            ”Don’t forget me, ne?”

            ”Ya! That’s nonsense. How could I forget you? You al...”

            ”Jinjjayo!” I cut him, then have a long sigh after that.

            ”Eunji-ya...”

I could saw his worry through his eyes, without