Word Count: 3430

{Past}

The rain hit the ground as the others words hit his heart.

“I think we should cut the string.”

Those were the only words that he heard. After that he couldn't hear anything anyone said to him.

The more the rain damped his clothes, the more his heart felt wet.

“Why?”

Those were the only words that he could utter out.

The man in front of him looked confused.

“Tell me why you want to cut the string Hikaru?”

The man in front of him sighed. “Because I don't love you.”

Yuta frowned as the others words hit his heart. He knew he was crying even more now, but no one would notice, it was raining.“Then who do you love?” He managed to break out.

Hikaru looked as if he didn't want to say it. But he needed to tell Yuta the truth. “Her name is Sakura. She's in my English class. I couldn't help myself from falling for her. I'm sorry. Please try to understand.”

Yuta shook his head as if he understood every word that was coming out of Hikaru's mouth. “No,” he tried to smile but instead it formed some type of smile/frown thing. “I-I understand,” he looked up into the eyes of the man in front of him. “I promise I understand!” Yuta noticed himself  screaming in the roaring rain. “I really do,” his voice became slightly quieter.

Hikaru smiled. It was the first time Yuta had seen him smile so sincerely. “Thanks,” he took Yuta’s cold hand into his. “Really, thank you for understanding.”

Yuta tried smiling again. But he couldn't. He was always told that your soulmate would love you. It was his dream to have a soulmate. He thought it would feel like Prince and Princess. A perfect love story.

But that's the last thing that he got.

{Past done}

Yuta debated whether he should ring the doorbell or not. But luckily for him someone had opened before he could even reach for the door bell.

The person had a bright smile on their face. “Oh! Master Yuta!”

Yuta sweetly smiled. “I told you not to call me that. I'm only Mark’s friend.”

The young lady welcomed Yuta in and pointed to the spot where he could take his shoes off. “Oh yes. But you aren't just his friend. You are his best friend! You do so much for him. You bring him food every week, bring him chocolates and candies, help him pick out clothes whenever he is going to someone's house, your parents make sure he's protected, hug him when he's feeling down, you bring him presents for no reason, and more! You might not go to his school, people might not even appreciate all that you do for him. But you do a lot Yuta. You take time out of your everyday life just to take care of him,” she looked into Yuta’s eyes after he was doing taking his shoes off.

Yuta smiled when wider. “What are best friends for?”

The young women shook her head. “Best friends don't do that much.”

Yuta chuckled. “Well then I'm a special best friend. We are related Ms. Lee. I love him like a brother.”

Ms. Lee nodded. “You are his cousins soulmate. And he doesn't even take that much care of him.”

Yuta frowned at the words ‘soulmate’.

Ms. Lee noticed this, she knew how upset Yuta would get about the whole soulmate thing. She smiled and tried to cheer Yuta up. “I made chocolate cake. Would you like me to call Mark down stairs so the both of you can eat it together?”

Yuta’s eyes lit up at the thought of chocolate cake. He nodded. “Sure. Let me just tell my driver to bring the presents inside and then I'll tell him to go.”

Ms. Lee nodded. “Of course.”

She spun right around and turned towards the huge hallway that lead to the kitchen.

She stopped by in front of the stairs and looked up at them. She smiled at the thought of Mark actually having someone who loves him. “Mark! Come down stairs! Yuta is here!”

Before Yuta knew it two arms were wrapped around his waist, engulfing him into a tight hug. “Hyung~”

Yuta smiled and patted the younger back. “Did you miss me?”

Mark looked up at Yuta and pouted. “The last time I saw you was a day ago.”

Yuta chuckled. “So you didn't miss me?”

Mark shook his head. “I did miss you.”

Yuta smiled and hugged the younger boy. He loved everything about children. Though Mark wasn't that younger then him, he was still younger. Everything about children reminded Yuta of a happy ending. They reminded Yuta of the thing that he always wanted, but knew he would never get, love. And children were a symbol of love. How could he stop himself from loving them?

~

“Mark did you do your homework,” Yuta looked up from his chocolate cake.

Mark instantly nodded. “I didn't get much homework today.”

Ms. Lee turned to Yuta and watched as he in munched on the chocolate cake. “Did you finish your homework.”

Yuta looked up from his chocolate cake. His face grew red. “Um...no?” He questioned more than answered.

Ms. Lee looked a little angry. “Then why didn't you finish your homework, then come over?”

Yuta face became even more red. “I-i’ll finish it tonight. It's alright.”

Mark shook his head. “Hyung I'm sure there's more important things in your life then me.”

Yuta slowly shook his head. “Not really. My parents are always in Japan. And your parents are in Canada. So...there really is nothing more important. “

Mark looked slightly angry. “Hyung? Don't you think you need to find someone to love?”

Yuta heart stopped at the word ‘love’. His embarrassed face went to a straight expression. Though he looked angry. “Love hurts Mark. You won't understand.”

Ms. Lee and Mark knew how much talking about love or soulmates hurt Yuta. But they still did. All their words would became knives, and make a scar on Yuta's heart.  Carving out every vein in his body. Making him feel as if he was thrown away. Each day, the pain gets even harder to bare.

“I don't wanna fall in love...not again. “

~

Yuta closed his eyes. Trying to make all his anger go away. “So you're not coming back?” He tried to hide the pain in his voice.

“No honey. Please try to understand. We're really sorry something really bi-.”

“No. It's alright I understand. Good night mom.” Yuta tried sounding fine.

“Thanks honey. Goodnight.” Ms. Nakamoto sounded slightly worried. But she had to brush it off. Yuta and his mother learned to not take things seriously. After what Yuta's grandmother had done to his mother. He's happy his dad still loves him.

Yuta put the phone down on its spot. He was frustrated. A deep sigh escaped his lips.

He took slow steps towards his bedroom. The dark light of the moon was shining though the upper window.

He thought his parents were coming back today. He was so excited. He spent three hours cooking food for them by himself. Ignored all the maids and butlers when they asked him if he needed help. He spent almost all night baking a cake for them. He turned to the clock that was hung up in the long hallway. It was 2:57.

“Great. Another night feeling unprotected.”

His voice had a hind of sarcasm to it. He stopped in his tracks when he reached the door to his bedroom. He looked down at the door handle. Noticing there was water on it. Tiny drops of water. The water from his eyes.

He was crying. But more of a crying mess.

Why did he always feel like an outcast? No one ever cared about him. So why did he care so much?

Yuta always fell for love's trap. He knew it was always his fault for loving. And at the end of everyday, he's always heart broken. It hurt. No, he couldn't describe the feeling inside. No one could mend his heart.

Yuta always felt like a sakura tree. Just standing there, people noticed him and his beauty. But after picking some of his pedals they always ended up leaving him lonely.

He frowned as his shaking hands opened the door to his bedroom. The first thing he saw was his own face due to the mirror in the middle of his room.

He looked like a mess. A mess that everyone created.

He tried wiping the tears off his face. But he ended up crying more.

“Why do you love everyone much?”

He started talking to himself in he mirror.

“Why are you such a fool? You know no one loves you. Then why do you love everyone so much!?” He grabbed onto the sides of the mirrors frame.

“You let everyone break your heart Nakamoto Yuta! Why?!” He started yelling at the mirror, which was more of himself then a mirror.

“Why?” His voice calmed down. He tried talking slow deep breaths.

He tightened his grip on the frame of the mirror. He hated himself. And hate was a really strong word of a person who only knows how to love.

He turned to look at his bed that was placed in the other side of the room.

He noticed an odd bright light coming from the side of his bed. It was too bright to be coming from outside.

He calmly walked up to his bed. Just like he expected it to be. His dad was calling him.

He wiped away the tears on his eyes before answering the phone call.

“Hi dad.”

He could tell that his dad was smiling on the other side of the phone. “How's my sakura.”

Yutra rolled his eyes at the nickname. No matter how much he hated that name, it sounded so pure coming from his dad's mouth. “I'm in highschool dad. I'm not a three year old anymore.”

His dad chuckled. “I know. But to me you're still my delicate sakura.”

“If I'm a delicate flower, then why do I feel so unprotected from his world?

“Whatever. Why did you call though? I was just about to go to sleep.”

Yuta knew he was lying to his dad. But he couldn't help himself. He would never be able to sleep tonight. And if he did he would barely get any sleep because of his nightmares constantly waking him up.

“I'm sorry I disturbed you. We can talk about it in the morning if you want?” Mr. Nakamoto was sincerely a kind man. He had a habit of putting people before him. But even a bigger habit of putting people before Yuta.

Yuta sighed. “No, just tell me what you want to say.”

“Well you know winter break just started today?” Mr. Nakamoto said.

Yuta only hummed in response.

Yuta could tell his dad was smiling widely. “Well your mother and I have decided that we want you move schools. You will now be going to Fate High. In short, the high school that Mark goes too.”

Yuta lips slightly parted in shock. He looked on at the down at the ground underneath him. Noticing that he should ask his dad if he can get it repainted. Then he looked up at the ceiling above him. The paint on it seemed to be fading too.

“Yuta? Are you okay?”

Yuta was snapped out of his artistic thoughts when his dad's voice bursted through his left ear.

He shook his head, trying to get back to reality. “Y-yeah. I'm still here. What were you saying?”

Yuta's dad chuckled. “I was saying that you're moving schools. Just because your mother and I believe you will be safer in a school where we know someone. It's hard to trust people Yuta. We hope you understand.”

Yuta instantly nodded. “I know. And I understand.”

Mr. Nakamoto smiled. “Great! Good night sakura. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night father,” Yuta tried sounding happy. But even his dad knew he wasn't happy. He never called his dad ‘father’, only when he was angry with him or upset.

~

When the heart is angry, look for its knight. The one who will protect it from the hurt, all the unbearable pain.

Yuta put the manga down in frustration, beside him on his bed. What the hell is that supposed to mean? An angry heart? Knight? Unbearable pain?

Nevertheless he lifted the book off the blood red sheets of his bed and continued reading it.

It was a manga. What did Yuta love more than animes and manga’s? Nothing...okay maybe chocolate cake. And maybe anime guys. But anime guys were part of animes and manga’s, right?

Her heart was shattered like a piece of glass and he tried his best to put the pieces back together. But how was one to put back what had now become just a sparkle of glass in this vast universe?

“Misaka! Come back! I won't hurt you!”

Yuta kept drawing out all the images in his head. Though it was already 3:47 am, he couldn't stop himself from reading this manga. He was surely hungry, for the fact that he believed he would get to eat dinner with his parent's, but once again they couldn't come. So he brushed it off, until his dad told him he was moving schools. He had to learn to brush that off too. And it's not like anything matter at the moment. All that mattered to him was that Mamoru needed to get Misaka back. Yuta didn't care if he found out that his friend Kun was dying. He would gladly ignore him just to continue reading ‘Summer Night's Sweetness’.

Yuta kelp reading what the drawings were showing him. He loved the way everything was drawn in this manga. From Mamoru’s shadow running in the rain to every detail in one tear drop that falls out of Misaka’s eyes.

He couldn't pull his eyes away from the paper when he read what was happening next.

“I'm sorry Mamoru. Our love was just like a summer night's sweetness. It passed too fast. I guess it's winter in our hearts now.”

Yuta could feel his heart cracking at her words. His excited expression turned into a angry one. “Who does she think she is? If I got someone as handsome as Mamoru I would have killed the whole world to be with him,” He pouted. Everything was really getting to him right now. The fact that he was basically reading in the dark at four am, while dying of hunger, didn't help him.

He closed his eyes and brought the book to his chest. More like his heart though. It was no doubt that Yuta had a tiny crush on Mamoru. Nope, he had a huge crush on Mamoru. Once again, Yuta has fallen into an unrequited…crush? Was there such a thing as unrequited crush? He didn't care, all he knew was that he had feelings for Mamoru. The feelings were he wanted Mamoru to get the love of his life. He kinda shipped Mamoru and Misaka. But he still wanted Mamoru all to himself.

He lifted the book from his chest and smiled when he saw the next box.

Mamoru had turned Misaka around and engulfed her into a warm hug. Though the wet rain was showering upon them. The sweet hug made everything warm inside of Misaka’s afraid heart.

His heart had stopped at those words. Afraid heart? Misaka was afraid? But of what?

Yuta never really liked Misaka. She always reminded him of someone he was close to, yet so far from that person. She reminded him of the person that he hated…himself. Yuta did hate himself and no matter how hard he tried to understand himself, he couldn't. He couldn't understand why he was, who he was. Afraid, lonely, unprotected, and useless.

Maybe one day it would all change? He held on to that hope. Something inside told him that he was loved. He was sure only four people on his planet cared about him. One Mark, two Ms. Lee, three WinWin, and four Kun. After that no one bothered to care about where he was. He didn't want to leave the high school that he was going to. Everyone was so kind there. Lovely teachers, and students, and an beautiful environment.

Yuta had always made friends wherever he went, everyone was always so attracted to his personality. But moving to Korea slightly scared him at first. He was afraid no one would like him. But like always, he made plenty of friends, people he could rely on.

Yet something about Fate High was weird. It was one of the biggest schools, just like the one he went to before. But it was just weird. Sure he had played against their soccer team, they were pretty good. They had the skills. But even when he was playing soccer against their team, he felt weird. Like he needed to stop and run away from the field.

Yuta sighed and stopped thinking about something that he didn't want. He happily picked up his manga and continued to read it.

“We played with each other hearts Mamoru. We aren't meant to be. It's hard to love each other.”

“Then why did you say that you loved me, Misaka?”

“I was afraid of being heartbroken.”

“So you broke my heart?”

“Yeah.”

“How would I break your heart if you didn't love me?”

“I did love you. I do love Mamoru. I was just afraid that you didn't love me.”

“But you broke my heart. The only way to break my heart would be if I loved you. And I do love you Misaka.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you too Mamoru.”

Yuta smiled as he flipped to the last page of the manga where he saw Mamoru and Misaka smiling at each other. They finally expressed their love for each other. His life felt complete. He made a note to thank the author for writing such a beautiful manga tomorrow, and ask when the next part would be coming out. How could he miss the chance? The author was his auntie.

This was the type of ending that Yuta wanted. He wanted it to be happy.

If he could choose, he'd want to become an anime character. Almost every anime has a happy ending. And anything can happen in an anime. A person can die, then be reborn for some stupid reason. It didn't matter. No one would question it. Cause an anime is an anime. Something that can never happen in real life.

He sighed and put the book on the side table beside his bed.

He turned back around and covered himself with his blanket. After a while of just laying there like that he pulled down his blanket and peered over to examine his oversized bedroom. It was kind of mess, nothing he couldn't clean in the morning. Yuta’s house was exceptionally oversized. Who lives in a mansion all by themselves? Well except of the fact that his maid’s, butler’s, and bodyguard’s live with him. Yet still he felt so unprotected. In his eyes everyone was dangerous. The only people who weren't dangerous were his parents. Expect they were always in Japan or a different country for business stuff.

He sighed and layed back down properly. Maybe it was time to sleep? Sleep meaning mindlessly staring at his hands.

He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to have to think of the horrible nightmares that he always tried to avoid.

Yet he found his eyelids drooping against his own will. He clutched onto his white T-shirt, hoping that he wouldn't fall asleep. Sleeping hurt more then staying awake. But in one way, both of them hurt.

In his dreams his mind would play horrible tricks on him. And when awake, he would play horrible tricks on his mind.

But he told himself to understand why he tortured his own brain so much.

But that was something he could never understand. He could never understand himself, and the world around him. Everyone always told him to understand, he always said that he did. When truth is, he never could understand.

Only his nightmares could understand. So he did it, he let his nightmare control him, but only this one night. He promised himself that he would keep himself from nightmares from now on. From horrid thoughts.

But all promises are made to be broken.

 

 

author's note

Yeah, this wasn't really Yusol, but I had to explain Yuta's life before I started all the Yusol.
I hope you liked it tho, sorry for spelling mistakes. 
Why is Yuta such an anime girl? I want to write about him all day. It's so easy. I think I found my perfect person.
But honestly who can't love Yuta? He's so...cute? Yup, cute. 
He has a sad life story, kinda hard to explain. Like those anime girls. I'm so sorry to all the people who don't know much about Japan. But I finally found I someone I can throw my Japan love at. Just ask me if you have any questions.
Thank you for reading, and I trust you Yusol shippers! COMMENT! Something more then "Please update!"

 

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