August 5,2005

9:25pm

It was sunny day when I first saw you. You were walking down the road with your friend,while laughing at the lame jokes she made.So engross in looking at you that I didn’t notice a man in front of me and ended up bumping  at him.I’m so ashamed of myself that  i keep bowing while saying my apologies.But  then when I stand and look at the road you’re in…you’re not there anymore.I keep searching,but to no avail,…Your already gone.

August 21,2005

11:10pm

Days pass by and you already occupied my head…it’s like I can’t get you off my mind.You invaded it and never leave any space for doubt…all my mind was saying is…”I want to see you”..The worst part?...i think my heart is also infected …if that’s what you call it.But fate has its own path,and that’s what it always follow and since then, I was not able to see you,For a long time ,so I just tell myself to forget you…..

And just when I thought that I forget you….I saw you again…

September 5,2005

8:05pm

You were walking on the same road where I first saw you,but,all alone and with a sullen face.You seem in a deep thought but what really caught my attention is the hurt that is shown in your eyes.I got the urge to take that off  and wanted to see only your beautiful smile so I approach you and said”Hi! I don’t mean to be rude,but I see that you are sad and that it’s not really suitable for your beautiful face.”

……Silence………….

“Well if its owkie with you I would like to invite you to a cup of coffee.”

And you agreed..I cant hide the big smile plastered in my face that it seems to rip off..

We arrive at a coffee shop..ordered…and chatted..until you open up to me….”today is the 1^st month after she died,she had the same beautiful smile and bright personality as you.You have the same way of approaching me.How ironic.You reminded me of her. We are best friend since forever..but just last year she was diagnose with cancer.The doctor said its slow in progression and that with proper treatment and medications it will be stop from being burdensome.That didn’t bother her and she never change..that’s..what I like about her.Shes always strong. She always look at the brighter side even if I know she’s been hurting and she never let me,even her family see it.

Just last month,the worst scenario came..she was brought to the hospital after collapsing at school.The doctor says the cancer got worst and they don’t know why it becomes aggressive all of a sudden.Worst part?the doctor only give her 1 month to live.But even that,she stays strong.I can’t forget what she said”we need to accept whatever comes to us, both good or bad,if its good,then make the most of it but if it’s bad,then find the good in it.If someone is gone,someone new will come.” The time you saw us?well she said she wanted to live her last days normally.”I can totally feel her sadness as she told me about what happen to her best friend and I can’t stop myself from saying “I will put back the smile that is taken away from you,I will be the new comer in your life”

June 24 2010

7:00pm

Dear diary,

I’m quite nervous but at the same time I’m excited.Tonight…will be the night that will change everything.After so many ups and downs and anniversaries we shared,I think tonight is the night.Huh!!!!!I can do this…Owkie enough of this I need to prepare everything ,it should be perfect…That’s for now.Wish me luck.

”She's sitting at the table, the hours get later

she was supposed to be here

She's sure she would've called

She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway

No one's said they've seen her

Why, is something wrong?

She looks back to the window

Suddenly the phone rings

A voice says something's happened

That she should come right now”

Her heart beats so strong that it feels like her heart is going to pop out of her chest.She ask the nurse in the counter and after she hear the room she run as fast as she can,never hearing the rest of the words the nurse is saying.

Arriving in the door of the room where her other half is,is like putting your one foot on a bottomless pit.She take a lot of air and try to be strong while opening the door.There,she saw her love,her life,her everthing,in a bed full of wire and beeping machines.She can’t stop it anymore and cry,cry cause she can’t do anything,cry because she’s helpless and cry because she knows what will happen and it scared her even just thinking about it.But she then remember what she said to her before….” we need to accept whatever comes to us,both good or bad,if its good,then make the most of it but if it’s bad,then find the good in it”

“I want you forever, forever and always

Through the good and the bad and the ugly

We'll grow old together

Forever and always”

She try to be brave and just think of things that can boost her but at the same time she’s praying for any miracle to happen.She’s been holding her hand when the doctor called her.”I’m sorry to tell you but,she only have a couple of hours left.She suffered a bad head injury which leads her to bleed at the same time she lost a lot of blood.Its already a miracle that she’s still alive right now and even awake.

After talking with the doctor that seems like forever,She then came to realization on why she prepared something tonight:

She gets inside the room and kneel in front of her while saying….”you know?I prepared something tonight coz I want to tell you something and I want it to be perfect that I try to prepare it for the whole day while your away..But…I think I don’t have that opportunity to make it as special as you are,and I think I can’t use any of the things that I prepared I don’t even have that proper dress…….well I guess it’s not about how you do it but the thought that counts.So…now or never…….

She looks in her eyes as she says ”from the time I saw you,my heart beats only for you and my mind only speaks of your name,my night becomes bright because of the moon and the stars that’s always guide me and even in a rainy night your always on my side to light my way. Would you give me the opportunity to be mine?....

“I want you forever, forever and always

Through the good and the bad and the ugly

We'll grow old together, and always remember

Whether happy or sad or whatever

We'll still love each other, forever and always

Forever and always, forever and always

She smile as she try to say what her heart wants to say….with difficulty….she said….

”I love you and I will forever grateful to be yours…forever…I’m more than happy to know you.You brought back the light in my once cloudy skies and bring sunlight to my every day journey.You put smile on my face and make my life easier. I love you…before…now….forever and ever.

“Her voice is almost too low

As she says, "I love you forever, forever and always

Please just remember even if I'm not there

I'll always love you, forever and always."

June 24, 2016

8:15pm

Dear diary,

It’s been 6 years since that happen,but my heart and my mind can’t forget her.The warm touch,her smile,the way she talks and even the way she walks.It feels like it’s just yesterday….I know she’s always watching me and wanted me to be happy..But you can’t force a heart that’s already been own by someone and beats only with her memory.You can’t force to give the love that’s been captured long time ago and I don’t want to release it even if the one who captured it already gives the permission to do so.It is always you who can make me go crazy and always will..Just wait for a while and we will be together…..Always

She closes her eyes with thoughts in her head….”my love,let’s live together…forever ”