I have no idea when did this happened. I just… couldn’t feel it anymore. The love, the touch, and the will. I just can’t seem to grasp the feel for him anymore. I have been thinking about it for a couple of times, maybe more than a month or so. It’s just that, everytime I see Jungkook, I just can’t bring myself to smile like I used to when I first date him. Is this how my 4 year relationship coming to an end?

     “Jungkook-ah, wanna go on a date with me?” I called Jungkook on the phone at home.

     “Oh hyung! Y-yeah sure! Let’s go to the restaurant where we first met. I still can’t forget the way you used to be embarassed when you say ‘jagiya’ to me ahahaaha,” he joked around as I kept on listening. Even when he is trying to lighten up the mood, I still can’t feel like I am happy. I feel like, I’m faking.

     “Ok then. Let’s go… tomorrow? I just can’t wait to see you,” I said, everything was a lie.

     “Really? Hahaha you are so cute~” He said in a high pitched voice, but still I find it cute. But not in a romantic way though.

     “Ok then, see you tomorrow, I’ll hang up.”

     “Ok hyung! Jalja~” And I hang up. Just like that, the awkward conversation ended. Mianhada, Jungkook-ah.

[THE NEXT DAY]

     “Oh hyung! Hi I missed you!” He ran up to me as he was waiting for me infront of the restaurant. He looked so happy, maybe just like when he used to be. But, am I doing the right thing? I don’t even know.

     “Let’s go inside, and have you booked?” I asked as I escorted him inside.

     “Yeah I did. Let’s eat…” He picked the menu on the table and chose what he wants to eat. Over here, I don’t feel like having the appetite to eat. I have no will to face him either. I feel ty for not telling him. But, I don’t feel sorry either.

     Fifteen minutes has passed and we had a nice talk. He talked about how busy he was last week with his work, and I talk about how weird things are going on for me for the past few months. Well, it did. Because I don’t love Jungkook anymore.

     “Jungkook-ah, wait for me here. I want to go to the toilet for a while,” I excused myself to go and pass motion.

     After being in the toilet for quite some time, I noticed that he has been playing some online games on his phone that he looked excited. He looked cute. But it doesn’t flatter my heart. I’m still as cold as ice.

     “H-hyung! You were watching?” He asked, and I nodded. “Eotteokhae so embarassing hahaha~” He laughed off on how foolish he looked when he was playing the games.

     As I look over at the view of him smiling and laughing, I was already firm on my decision. And I knew that this might be the wrong choice. I might hurt him, but I didn’t want to break my heart either.

     “Jungkook-ah, come here,” I signalled and he came. He looked flushed, but I didn’t smiled.

     I then flashed him a ring… A wedding ring.

     I loved him, I did. But now, I hurt him. I’m breaking his heart too. He knows, that I don’t love him anymore. I guess it was noticable, but he don’t love me either. And I could see that.

     I know I’m a bastard. But I had no choice. Because of him, I had to do this the dirty way.

    I then hugged Jungkook, smoothly grabbing his head and thug tightly on his waist. Just to show him, how she can regret him decision of not being with me. To make him regret, I had no choice.

Namjoon-ah, saranghae…

~~~

Hey, writer Kyu here^^ I'm sorry if the story is short. I was just inspired by this music video called 'I Don't Love You' by Urban Zakapa. I'm not sure how the story of the really goes like in the m/v but if I explained it here it would be a spoiler so~ please do check out the music video so that you could try and relate this story to the music video. Please watch the video!!! <3

Link--> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0ZM0egDYr0