Days Before The End
Until The Day He Dies
[Day 1]
Donghae was a normal young boy with very, boringly normal life. His days repeated the same familiar pattern one after another, from waking up before he went to sleep. Breakfast in the morning, dull classes at school. Homework, helping at home. The best times were those that he was free to do what he wanted, those breaks between every lesson, the time it took to walk to and from the school. After he had done everything he had to and had free time in the evening. But most of all, when the time for vacation comes he can hardly control his joy.
Which is why he feels like wailing as he stares the clock above the door, noting that there's still time before lunch break starts. He can't stop the sigh that leaves from his lips when he thinks about the camera waiting inside his school bag. It is almost as if he could hear it screaming 'I am here, take me out and use me!' but quickly shakes his head and grimaces that sounded way too wrong.
He leans his head against his hand and stares the blackboard but in the end decides to sleep the remaining time - he just can't bother learning about world war at the moment, so sleeping is the best way of killing some time.
When bell is finally ringing he stretches and turns around. He is welcomed by toothy grin of his friend who smacks his head "Really Hae, you know it's student's job to study, not sleep," Sungmin laughs.
"You know how boring I find this history stuff," Donghae yawns and smiles back "Anyway, I'm starving. What's for lunch today?"
"Pea soup. Wanna eat or do we buy some bread or something?" Sungmin asks, gathering his stuff.
"Bread. Definitely."
"Well then let's go. I'm sure many others think same way; after all the pea soup in this school is like a deadly weapon!"
Donghae laughs "Couldn't have said it more right."
The two of them leave the classroom in hurry, not noticing the third boy who had been trying to get their attention.
[Day 2]
"Finally it's over!" Donghae wails "Today I'm only going to play games and nothing more!"
"You sound like Kyu, you know," Sungmin points out
"No one beats your cousin's addiction thought"
"That's impossible to do; have you got any idea how much that kid plays? And what annoys me the most is that he doesn't study as much as I do and he still is better than I."
Donghae smirks "Well in games you still sometimes have to use your brains you know... but all you do is train your body all day long."
"Hey, martial arts are my passion!"
"In game you would be that stupidly strong character - the one that attacks aimlessly but is easy to beat even if it's strong."
"Why you...!"
"Excuse me," unfamiliar voice stops them and Donghae quickly removes Sungmin's hands from his neck.
"Yes?" he turns around and sees a boy with light brown hair standing before him "Can I help you in some way?"
"You are Donghae, right?" the brunet answers back with a question and Donghae nods silently "I have a favor to ask, do have some time to spare?"
Donghae glances his friend who raises his hands "You are free today either way, it won't do any harm to just listen. It's not like you have to accept," Sungmin answers. "Either way I'm going home now. And I guess it was nice to meet you...?"
"Hyukjae," the brunet answers
"Hyukjae huh?" Sungming nods and waves to Donghae "See you tomorrow!"
Donghae raises his hand for a bit before turning back towards Hyukjae "Wanna go grab something to eat and talk, because I am starving like I always am."
"Sure, it's fine by me."
"So, what did you want to ask?" Donghae inquires with mouth full of food "Something about favor?"
Hyukjae swallows the food in his mouth "I heard you like taking pictures and stuff?"
"Where you heard that from?"
"It's quite known in our school, almost everyone has seen you by riverbed or in the park with camera at least once," Hyukjae chuckles.
Donghae laughs as well "I guess that's true considering how I almost live there. But what does that have to do with anything?"
"I was wondering if you would film me - not like some movie but more like home video? Just normal moments that happens daily."
"And why would you want me to do that?" Donghae tilts his head curiously. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear.
Hyukjae glances around "Because I'm going to die soon."
"What?!" Donghae yells and stands up, gathering looks from other tables. Then he sits back down when Hyukjae desperately tries to hush him "What?" he asks again, this time calmly
"I have an illness that can't be treated. I have one, maybe two months left if I'm lucky," Hyukjae smiles "So if I'm going to die, I thought that I would like to leave bit of me behind."
"But... you look fine?" Donghae can't help but ask
"Yeah... apparently the disease has been in dormant inside my body ever since I was born and something triggered it. They say that once its awake you can't really do anything but wait."
"How does it affect you?"
"Honestly not sure... but I guess eventually I will lose ability to walk or use my body... some lose their ability to speak properly..." Hyukjae begins and then laughs dryly "I'm going to be infant in teenager's body."
Donghae knits his brows "Fine, I'll accept."
Hyukjae is taken aback "Really? You sure?"
"Well I just need to film you on my free time, right? It's not like I have part-time job or anything so I have plenty of time. Where do you want me to film you?"
"U-umm.. anywhere really. During recess, lunch hour, outside the school..."
"Does that include your home aswell?"
"If that's okay for you... I mean, I don't want to force you or anything, it means a lot already that you're ready to do this," Hyukjae bits his lip
"What are you talking about? If I'm going to do something I'll do it well. I am lazy as but I can still be determinate," Donghae answers and gets up "Hurry up!"
Hyukjae tilts his head "Why?"
"Because I wanna see where I am going to film you most of the time," Donghae smirks and continues when Hyukjae seems like he isn't following after his thought "Your house of course!"
[Day 4]
"You have been with Hyukjae lately quite a lot?" Sungmin points out as they walk towards the school "Why?"
"He needs help with some family project or something like that," Donghae nonchalantly answers. They had decided that they wouldn't tell anyone about Hyukjae's situation because the said boy didn't wish to be pitied by other students or teachers; he wanted to continue living normally as long as he could.
"I'm glad that you got new friend, but don't forgot those you already have okay?"
Donghae playfully punches his friend "Ming, you do know that you are quite hard to forget, right?" he smirks "Because how could I forget someone who used to wet his bed in kindergarten?"
Sungmin gasps "I told you to never talk about that!" then he furiously jumps on Donghae who can hardly contain his laughter
"Am I bothering you?"
Two friends turn around, Donghae still laughing and Sungmin sending murderous glares at him "Yes, I was just about to kill him," Sungmin retorts.
Hyukjae chuckles "That would be quite inconvenient for me thought?"
"Yes! I have a job now so you should stop this, bed- " Donghae starts but stops when Sungmin places his palm over his mouth
"Do. Not. Say. A. Word."
Donghae nods frantically and after few seconds Sungmin releases him. Donghae smirks "Remember to sometimes wash your plush toy!" he remarks and starts running while laughing. "See you later Hyukjae!"
"You!" Sungmin yells and starts running after his childish friend, leaving Hyukjae behind to watch them in amusement
"I just realized," Hyukjae states while quickly glancing Donghae sitting on his bed, camera aimed at him "This is quite embarrassing to have camera pointed at you."
"Get used to it, this is going to happen many times after this," Donghae smiles and peaks from behind the camera, before looking back to little window to check that Hyukjae is coming out properly "But we should go out, it's not fun to film you doing homeworks all the time."
"We could go to riverbed once I'm done with this?" Hyukjae proposes
"Yes!" Donghae yells "What subject are you doing now?"
"Chemistry. I don't get this stuff about chemical phenomenon and ," Hyukjae complains, leaning back to his chair in annoyance
"Well good you have me then!" Donghae grins "Chemistry is my strongest point. Want me to help?"
"Oh god yes, yes! Come here right now!" Hyukjae stands up and starts pulling Donghae
"Wait! I just put this camera away."
"Just leave it to film here, I don't care."
"Not sure if I want to be seen in your little film..."
"Donghae, they can already hear your voice so what's the point? Just hurry so we can go out!"
Sighing Donghae finally gives up and places the camera on bed, pointing to them.
"What are those?" Donghae asks, looking at tablets on Hyukjae's palm.
"Medications... my illness can't be stopped but these should make symptoms easier or something, I didn't really listen but I just have to take them."
"Okay... well anyway, riverbed, here we come!" Donghae puts out his fist
Hyukjae laughs "Let's go then!
[Day 6]
"You okay?"
"Just... give... me... a second..." Hyukjae pants, hunched down his hands on his tights "Why you aren't out of breath?"
how calm it was there liking"I used to play soccer until last year," Donghae smiles, sitting next to Hyukjae on the grass and looking at the river. They were at the riverbed again, both of them despice people going around behind their backs all the time. Hyukjae sits down next to him.
"Why did you stop?" he asks. Donghae remains silent for a bit while digging out his camera and making it ready
"My father lost his job and since it is expensive and they had my brother's college to think of too I quit. But I still go to kick ball by myself when I have time so it's not that bad," Donghae shrugs
"Why don't you take ball with you tomorrow? We can play a bit first or something?"
"Sounds good," Donghae raises his camera and points it at Hyukjae "And now... ready... action!"
"This isn't movie you're filming," Hyukjae raises his eyebrow,
"Don't care!" Donghae sings and laughs when Hyukjae's lips form a small pout
"You really are a weird guy..."
"So they say!" Donghae winks
[Day 10]
"You have One Piece?! Why didn't I notice it last time?!" Donghae yells and drops his bag on the floor, placing the camera on the table. He notices how Hyukjae tries not to laugh and scowls at him for a bit but he is too excited "I have only been able to read it up to volume 10 and you have so many..!"
Hyukjae sits down on his bed "You didn't notice them since they weren't on shelf but scattered underneath my bed before... and don't give me that look, that just kinda happened!" Hyukjae adds when Donghae eyes him like he had done something unforgivable "But well... if you'd like you can borrow them..? Or if you don't feel like carrying them you can read them here sometimes?" Hyukjae asks and Donghae turns quickly around
"Really?!" He smiles and when Hyukjae nods his head he can't contain his joy and hugs him "Oh my god thanks Hyukkie!"
Hyukjae pushes him away "Hyukkie?" he asks
"We're friends now and my policy is to give nicknames to my friends." Donghae states like it was most normal thing in the world.
"Friends huh?" Hyukjae blushes slightly.
"That's right. So call me Hae. Come on, do it!"
Hyukjae shakes his head in embarrassment "No I won't!"
"Aww Hyukkie is so cute!" he exclaims and can't contain his laugh when Hyukjae starts attacking him with pillows.
[Day 13]
After almost two weeks Donghae could point out two things. One, he noticed how Hyukjae's stamina was getting weaker as day's passed by, just fifteen minutes of kicking the ball with Donghae was enough to make Hyukjae heave like no tomorrow. Two... he would many times catch himself just looking at the boy, mesmerized by his movements and the way he would his lower lip when in deep thought.
Now Donghae was really open minded and didn't care even if he was developing crush towards Hyukjae, but he wasn't sure how the said boy would react. But despise the fact that Hyukjae was poor when it came to chemistry, he was quite observant and noticed Donghae's stares.
"So... anything wrong with my face?"
"No, why?" Donghae asks, raising his head.
"You just keep staring at me so much that I can see that you are filming my ceiling or floor sometimes..."
Donghae bits his lower lip and then decides to swift off his camera, being sure that Hyukjae wouldn't want to next conversation to be recorded. "Hyukkie... what do you think about same couples?" he asks, not daring to look the other boy sitting next to table.
"I don't really care. As long as people are happy they can do what they want, right? But what does it have to do with this?"
"Well," Donghae starts and looks up "I think I might have a crush on you."
[Day 14]
Last day Hyukjae had been taken aback by Donghae's confession but for his relief Hyukjae didn't seem to take it wrongly. More like it was funny how Hyukjae's face got completely red and he couldn't form coherent words for next few minutes. Donghae had been so happy that he couldn't help but hug other and kiss him in the cheek, making other's eyes almost pop out when Hyukjae quickly took step back, hand on his cheek.
"Morning," familiar voice greeted him hesitantly and he turned around smiling
"Hyukkie!" he is about to jump on other but Hyukjae quickly races his hands
"Stop!" he yells, grimacing when Donghae pouts "Let me get used to this first, okay? Your feelings don't bother me but.."
Donghae huffs "Judging the way you blush easily when I tease you and so you do like me to some degree."
Hyukjae looks at Donghae "What?"
"Well you don't blush even if Ming or your parents tease you!" Donghae sulks and turns around.
"What's this lover's bickering?"
"Ming! Hyukkie is mean!" Donghae fake sobs and circles his arms around his friend "He says he doesn't like me!"
"I never said that I didn't like you!" Hyukjae yells
"Then you're saying you like me?"
"I... stop this!"
Sungmin looks the two of them "I feel like there's something I don't know."
Donghae just shrugs, arms still around him "Just told him I have a crush on him."
"Donghae!" Hyukjae exclaims, looking Sungmin warily
"It's fine, Ming doesn't care, right?"
Sungmin sighs "Yeah, it doesn't matter. But please, leave me out of your marital bickering, okay?"
"M-m-ma-marital..." Hyukjae can hardly say and Donghae leans back to look at Hyukjae and then Sungmin
"I think he just broke," he states when Hyukjae keeps trying to say something.
"Yes... he did," Sungmin confirms.
[Day 17]
After the incident with Sungmin, Donghae and him had been teasing Hyukjae a lot. He himself couldn't help but hug Hyukjae more, knowing that it would either give out positive or negative reaction out of Hyukjae but deciding that he rather kept close to him while he had a chance. He was glad thought that Hyukjae still wanted to continue filming just like before.
After they had spend the day just sitting in park, talking and Donghae constantly teasing his friend, they decided to walk back to Hyukjae's house. Donghae walks bit behind with camera and can't help but feel happy when Hyukjae checks every now and then if he is still there, even if he would be able to hear his footsteps since it's already late in the evening.
When they finally reach Hyukjae's door they exchange few words before Donghae bids his goodbye and is about to leave when he feels someone pulling his jacket. He looks and notices that Hyukjae had grapped it to prevent him from leaving. He turns back around, wondering what Hyukjae wanted to say to him.
closer, but waits until Hyukjae leans in and their lips Hyukjae bites his lower lip hesitantly and looks around, making Donghae tilt his head in confusion. Then Hyukjae takes a step towards Donghae who gulps when the other boy's face gets brushes against each other softly. Before Donghae can do anything, Hyukjae is back to his door.
"That was just for thanks... Hae," he mumbles with red face and closes the door behind him.
Donghae slowly touches his lips with is fingers and then smiles.
Man, he really does like Hyukjae.
[Day 18]
"Does this mean that you admit that you like me too?" Donghae asks when he spots Hyukjae in the street on their way to school
Hyukjae blushes "I... I don't know..."
"But I know you do so we can start going out, right!"
"Are you always this pushy?" Hyukjae sighs "Or is it just me who thinks that way?"
"Life is too short! And because I know about your feelings even if you don't. So? Yes or no?"
Hyukjae ponders a bit before smiling a bit "Well I don't have much time left anyway so why not?"
Donghae stops and after few steps so does Hyukjae who turns around "What's wrong?"
"I don't want you to be with me only because you think it doesn't matter since you don't have lot of time anymore," Donghae whispers, looking at the ground.
Hyukjae doesn't know what to say when Donghae looks like he is about to cry and doesn't stop him when other says that he wants to be alone for a bit.
That day Donghae doesn't film Hyukjae.
[Day 21]
For past few days Donghae couldn't get himself to fulfill Hyukjae's request because he wanted to stay away from other for now. Which is why he was little happy when he learned that day that Hyukjae had stayed in home. He knew that Hyukjae liked him as well to some degree, he was quite wise when it came to human emotions, but he still didn't want that Hyukjae would be him out of pity or anything like that despite not acknowledging his own feelings.
Donghae knew that not every day you would get confessed by someone you had spend time only few weeks not to mention from another guy but he couldn't help it. He had been with Hyukjae every day, spent time for hours as they got to know each other. He had noticed how Hyukjae relaxed more and more around him as days passed - so was it really that weird for him to develop feelings for Hyukjae?
"So... what's the story?" Sungmin asks his friend after class is over and they are packing their bags so they can leave for home "Why haven't you been with Hyukjae these few days?"
Donghae shakes his head a bit "Just needed time to think, that's all."
"Okay, that won't do. How long do you think I've known you? Spit it out."
"It's annoying how well you indeed do know me," Donghae mumbles but nevertheless tells Sungmin, who first looks at him before hitting him with the book that was still on his table
"Are you stupid or what?"
Donghae doesn't know what to do and decides to shield himself with his arms "What, why?!"
No matter how well someone takes the thought of a guy. "You are same couples, they don't agree to date one just like that no matter what circumstance - and you know that he has dated girls before, he told so himself once in lunch when you kept bothering him about his love life and I can confirm that I did see him with someone last year."
"...You are right..." Donghae hesitantly answers and yelps when Sungmin hits him again
"Of course I am! Now get your to where he is and talk with him!"
"Come in," Hyukjae invites and steps aside so Donghae has room to enter. Latter had done what Sungmin urged him to do and went straight to Hyukjae's house where he was greeted by very tired looking Hyukjae.
"Are you alright?" he asks as he enters, worriedly looking his friend.
"I'm fine... want anything to drink?" Hyukjae closes the door behind him
"I just take water," Donghae answers and looks how Hyukjae slowly walks to kitchen, understanding that whatever the disease was, its influence was getting more visible. When he notices how Hyukjae's hand starts to shake when he is trying to reach for a cups from cupboard, he quickly walks next to him "Here, let me."
"Thanks," Hyukjae says and Donghae nods, filling both cups with cold water "Let's go to my room then."
Once inside the room Hyukjae lays down on his bed and Donghae sits on the ground next to it, placing Hyukjae's cup on his nightstand.
"So, why are you here?" Hyukjae asks and Donghae doesn't dare to look at him
"Sungmin said I was being stupid... and I agree," he answers and takes a sip from his cup "Sorry," he then mumbles.
"For what?"
"For being so pushy I guess? I know it's not easy when another guy confesses you and that you won't be ready to date them just like that thanks to what Ming pointed out... but even so..."
"Even so?" Hyukjae urges him to continue and Donghae places his now empty cup on the nightstand before circling his arms against his legs.
"Even if I said that I know your feelings despite you knowing yourself... I'm not sure anymore. What if I just saw what I wanted to see? Doesn't that make me a bad guy? I don't want that."
The room gets silent as neither of them doesn't talk. Donghae is about to get up and leave, sure that Hyukjae would now retort that he doesn't wish to date him after all, but for the third time that day he is hit.
"Are you stupid?" Hyukjae asks and hits his head with the side of his hand "You are, right? Right?"
"Wh- stop it! What's with people hitting me today?!" Donghae wails, taking a hold of other's wrist and turning around.
"Because you are just so frustratingly stupid!" Hyukjae exclaims and tiredly glares Donghae "You think I would be ready to date you just because I don't have time left and 'want to try something new' or ? No! I know that my choice of wording was wrong then but I've had time to think these few days when you kept avoiding me."
Donghae isn't even sure if he is hearing correctly "What?"
Hyukjae sighs in frustrate before leaning and kissing him "It means that I like you too, you dumb ."
Not knowing what he should do, cry or laugh, Donghae ends up doing both while Hyukjae hugs him and weakly pats his back.
[Day 22]
"So are you finally together now?" Sungmin asks when he and Donghae are sitting in cafeteria the next day.
"Yes..." Donghae mumbles and knows that he is blushing
"Well was about time! I could tell you had hots for each other after first week."
"You're lying."
"I am not. But, nevertheless, I am happy for you okay?" Sungmin ruffles up his friend's hair "You're going to his place today?"
"Yeah, after school. He is sick so I'm going to tell what we did in class today."
"That explains why you were awake even in history! Maybe my child still has hope!"
And next is Donghae's turn to hit Sungmin who just keeps laughing.
[Day 25]
"You absolutely sure?"
"Hae, do you really think I would kiss you if I wasn't? Stop asking that every day, you're driving me crazy!" Hyukjae angrily states
"It's because I still can't believe it..." Donghae mumbles, getting sigh from Hyukjae who kisses him again before leaning back to lay down
"Try to get used to it, I like you, okay? And come here, my body is hurting," Hyukjae orders and Donghae quickly does what he is asked to, glancing other with worried eyes. He didn't know how bad the situation was, but Hyukjae was up less and less every day and most of the time he spend sleeping. Donghae still filmed him just like he had promised, even if he wanted nothing more than to hold other's hand whenever Hyukjae would grimace out of pain.
He was sure that his crush had gotten past level 'like' to 'love'.
[Day 28]
"Sorry for being a burden," Hyukjae says and Donghae turns to him
"Why?"
"Since you have to do so much for me... I don't like it."
Donghae smiles and puts the plate away. The disease had reached to extend where Hyukjae could hardly feel his arms or legs. He could use his arms to some extend, but holding anything was impossible, so he needed help for normal things like eating. Donghae knew how much Hyukjae hated it, being dependent of others. "I know... but it's not a burden, I gladly help you," he answers, slowly leaning and kissing Hyukjae's somewhat dry lips "Need anything else?"
"No... I just feel tired," Hyukjae mumbles
"Then sleep."
"I feel bad for that too thought. I feel like I only keep being burden to you and sleeping."
"Hyukkie, you know that I don't think that way. If you feel tired you should sleep, it's your body telling you that it needs sleep."
"...Well then put the camera away and take my hand."
Donghae doesn't need to be told twice and does exactly that. He sits on the floor next to bed, leaning against it and taking Hyukjae's hand, squeezing it slightly "Really, just go to sleep."
Hyukjae looks at him before closing his eyes. "And just so you know, I told my parents about us - not like I could keep it secret for long,"
Donghae is surprised "What did they say?" he asks, but doesn't get any answer and eventually Hyukjae's deep breathing tells him that other had fallen asleep.
[Day 32]
"Hae..." Hyukjae starts and Donghae looks at him "I was wondering if you could leave your camera here this time if it's not too much?"
"I can, but why?"
"I just wanted to film my thoughts and don't want anyone to hear them yet."
"Alright. Want me to show how it works?"
"Thank you"
"Don't mention it," Donghae smiles "By the way Hyukkie?"
Hyukjae hums weakly "Tell me?"
"I think I love you."
Later that night Donghae leaves, satisfied that he had found courage to say it out loud.
[Day 33]
Donghae couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What are you saying?" he whispers
The man before him fights against tears "Hyukjae died last evening," Hyukjae's father finally managed to say
"You are lying, right?" Donghae asks desperately. He doesn't want to believe what he is hearing, after all they talked just yesterday. But one look at the father confirms that it's true and leans against the doorway when strenght seems to leave his body. The father asks him to wait for a moment and disappears back inside, coming out few minutes later with Donghae's camera.
"This is your camera, right?" Hyukjae's father asks, extending the camera on his hand towards Donghae
"Yes, it is. Have you watched it?" Donghae answers, taking it.
"No, we weren't sure if it was something we should watch," the man smiles tiredly before taking Donghae's free hand on his own "Thank you for what you did, he smiled a lot more in this past month than he did the years before," he pats Donghae's shoulder and Donghae tries his hardest not to cry.
As he reaches his home he runs to his room and allows his tears to fall.
[Day 35]
Donghae hesitantly pushes Donghae decides that he is ready to check if Hyukjae had recorded any video after he left the camera at his home. He goes through the videos until reaching the last video. play button and soon the view of Hyukjae sitting on his bed, supported by punch of pillows appears. He notes how dark circles underneath Hyukjae's eyes are, how dry his lips look like. He listens how Hyukjae smiles faintly and thanks someone behind the camera before they close the door and Hyukjae takes a deep breath.
"This might be my last message," Hyukjae starts and closes his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts "No, I know it will be... to be honest I'm not sure what I should say. Should I use this chance to thank those that have been there for me? I have never done this before so I don't know what's right or wrong so I guess I... just talk what I feel like talking?" he chuckles weakly and then coughs, turning to face camera again.
Donghae laughs a bit when he watches how Hyukjae smiles hesitantly while slowly tapping the bed underneath him with his finger, that nervous gesture being familiar for him from the past month. "I never thought that this, everything, would happen to me. I mean, who would ever think that one day they would hear that they have a disease that would kill them? That there was no way of winning the fight? I never even dreamed about it and when I got my diagnose I was sure that it was just a nightmare and I would soon wake up.
But it didn't go as I planned.
Actually, it went to exact opposite way. Suddenly I was walking on the road that could end anytime. Some days were easier and some I remember cursing and screaming that it would just end because it was too painful. Breathing, eating, even just being felt so hard sometimes. These last days have been like hell and I know that I have been acting like it's nothing but... I'm so tired, so tired of the pain. I don't even have the energy to get up from this goddamn bed anymore. Not that I could do anything when I can't even feel my body anymore."
Hyukjae fell silent with his head hanging low, before Donghae could hear faint whisper and sobs erupting right after. Then Hyukjae raised his head and looked straight to camera "I don't want to die," he cried "There is so much I still want to do, why me?! Why do I have to leave everything behind?!"
And then Hyukjae broke down. "I'm so scared..." he whispered shakily, hardly able to speak because of the sobs escaping from behind his quivering lips "I'm so scared of dying, of being alone. What did I ever do to deserve this? What sin did I ever commit? Please tell me and I fix everything. Please... just don't take this all away from me..." Hyukjae shakily covered his face with his palm but Donghae could still see his eyes. Eyes begging that it was all just a bad dream but still knowing that he would never wake up from it. "I don't want to die and be forgotten... it's just too sad!"
"Hyukkie..." Donghae whispered, the hands holding the camera shaking a bit. For next long minutes Hyukjae didn't say anything, only cried uncontrollably, like it was the first time he had allowed himself to speak of his true feelings and Donghae realized that the strong Hyukjae he had seen was just a cover. The real Hyukjae had been far more broken than he thought and he felt bad for not noticing. Because now it was too late.
After a while it looked like Hyukjae had calmed down enough to talk more "I guess this is it? The end of the road with no turning back," he laughed bitterly "If I'm here because of my sins it doesn't matter if I commit one more, right? It's fine isn't it?"
Hyukjae faces the camera "Donghae..." he starts and smiles sadly "I love you."
Donghae stares at the camera, gasping for air "Why are you saying that now?" he squeezes the camera more "You never said that to my face, you can't just say that in your last video!" he bursts in tears, crying just like Hyukjae does in the video. After long minutes however Hyukjae stops crying and once again looks at the camera
"I am so tired... it's time to go to sleep, isn't it?" he slowly starts to close his eyes "Goodnight."
"No... no, no no!" Donghae screams. He knows that it's pointless, he knows what had happened but still he cann't stop himself. It didn't matter even if he knew that Hyukjae was already dead, because watching how he clearly was giving up was too much "Hyukkie..."
While crying he can't tear his eyes from the Hyukjae's peaceful face, not sure how to feel; happy because other wasn't suffering anymore or sad because he could not meet with him anymore?
Next he heard screams and Donghae knows that Hyukjae's lifeless body was just found. He sadly looks how they try to give cpr to him, knowing that it won't help. Then someone switches the camera off and everything goes dark.
[Day 41]
Donghae is back behind Hyukjae's door and rings the bell. After a bit his mother opens the door, surprised to see him there. Donghae then rummages through his back bag until he pulls out the cd.
"Here... I put all the videos from the camera here. I'm sure Hyukkie would want you to watch them."
"What videos? I know he asked me to put camera to record him but he never told what kind of video," Hyukjae's mother asks, and takes the cd.
"About month ago Hyukjae came to me with a request," Donghae tells "He told me that he had only limited time left and asked me to film him in normal situations from recess to spending time outside. That cd contains those videos."
The mother looks at him silently before tears start to gather in her eyes "Thank you," she whispers and Donghae nods before he turns around and leaves.
Hyukjae would never be forgotten.
This is why I never write anything that even reminds of romance; I'm so bad at it! Don't ask me why I then wrote this.
Because I don't know.
Anyway, I did update this by Wednesday! And yes, this is nearly 6000 words long oneshot. And yes, its 4am. Heh?
Leave a comment and tell your thought!♥
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