“If two people met and if destiny says that they are made for each other, that they are each other’s soul mates, there is no way for them to know that they belong to each other. Only time and their hearts will. I never really believed in such sappy assumptions nor did I look forward to it whenever my friends or grandmother would say that that’s him. He’s the one.

How do they know that it’s you? How do they know that you belong to me and I to you?

Here I am, asking that question over and over again whilst waiting for you to come back. Yes, I promised I would trust you, that I would not lose hope and that I would wait for you. But up until now, not a single sign, not once, did you give me something that will keep pushing me to wait for you.

To love you.

So if you are the man that destiny gave to me. If you are the soul mate that should be here by my side, loving me like I know I would to you. Why didn’t you pick me? Why don’t you look at me the way you look at her?

Were they wrong?

Was I wrong?

Are you not the one for me? Have you already found her, the one destiny gave to you? Am I supposing to just forget all those times I thought that you were the other half of me and leave them all behind.

Do they expect me to turn my head and keep looking for the one that will love me like you love her?”

“You know you don’t have to leave; all the universities here are willing to accept someone as talented and intelligent as you.” I glanced down at my grandmother’s hands, holding mine tightly, begging me to stay.

“Gran, you know going back to the city is best for me right now. Please, don’t make this harder for me.”

“But- but he’s leaving too. You don’t have to leave this place anymore. I heard from Chunhwa that her son doesn’t want to stay, he’s leaving, Eunji- “I inhaled sharply, hearing something about him was the last thing I wanted right now. It didn’t matter if he was leaving or not, all I wanted was to get out of this place. Every second I spent staying here goes wasted. There really wasn’t any reason why I should stay here for the rest of my life.

Not even my grandmother, the woman who raised and provided for me, could force me to stay in this place.

I diverted my eyes back to wall after giving my grandmother a hard look, stopping her from finishing her sentence that would surely only dampen my mood further. Clutching my bag, I made my way towards the door, avoiding hearing anymore words from her.

“Gran, you can always come with me. I booked a spare ticket just for you, you don’t have to stay in this place, you hold no responsibility for what happened in the past. Don’t you want to stay with dad?”

Ignoring the sudden silent I received from her, I continued putting my bags and suitcase outside the house, waiting for the cab I called earlier.

Don’t look back Eunji.

I thought as I watched the cab stop in front of me stop, flinching as well when the front door of the house I grew up in slammed close behind my back.

“Miss.” The driver greeted me with a nod and I did the same back to him.

“First day and you’re already kissing those books of yours. C’mon, Eunhi- Eunhi, that’s your name right?”

“Hm.” She was wrong but I honestly couldn’t care less.

“Ugh. Let’s go, please? Please? Please, please, please- “

I blocked the continuous whining of my roommate, a pretty, small faced, dyed brown hair young woman who was attending University for the sole purpose of living and enjoying life like she told me earlier. I honestly have no idea if she’s even going to last a week in this place, Korea was almost all about getting reality slapped hard at your face, the country was all about working hard and stay working hard until you die of working hard. Playing around wasn’t going to cut it.

“Chorong, shut up.” I snapped. I didn’t care if I hurt her feelings because she obviously didn’t care about mine when she threw all the things inside my box randomly around the room, it was labelled fragile too, and looked through my stuff without even asking. I’ve decided that I already did not like my roommate. Hm. Pity.

Chorong scoffed in disbelief and out of annoyance and left the room, slamming the door in the process. Yep. I’m guessing I have that effect on people today.

Hours later, I was getting bored and the constant ticking of the small grand clock Chorong put in the middle room was bothering me to no end. She said it was a must because it was the only thing that made her not run back home, to prevent her “home sickness”. I didn’t know how that felt especially because I felt the opposite about my home.

I grabbed my coat and left the apartment. Right after closing the door, I heard the soft ringing of my phone but I left anyways.

I walked around the campus for a while, just trying to get fresh air and get used to the new surroundings. The campus was open to the city, or just about near the city. A couple of steps and you’ll see the busy street of Seoul. People bustling around the place, all with their fancy clothing and accessories. The very scene in front of me created a frown in my face.

I spotted a wooden bench next to a tree and decided to sit there and just watch. Everyone was busy with their own life, all having their own problems to deal with and at the same time, events to look forward to. I realised that sooner or later, my life would be of just like an average person, but it probably already started when I came back to this city.

I was lost.

I finally admitted to myself. I have no idea where I was needed or where I needed to go. Yes, I came back to Seoul saying ignorantly that I didn’t need anyone and I was fine by myself. I would finish University and I would get a job and settle down. Be a grown up and completely leave my teenage years.

But everything that came out of my mouth was a lie.

I felt my heart ache as I realised that there was a possibility that I would live the rest of my life all alone, hissing at the world because of my huge phobia of trusting anything that moved. Even my own grandmother, the woman who raised me and watched me grow up, I couldn’t bring myself to trust her when I found out that she was in fact, not even at all related to me.

I was adopted. I found out just a year ago. Of course, I kind of had a feeling that I was, so of course, feeling desperate to feel the sense of belonging, I looked for my biological parents and was only given the answer that they were both dead. I stopped looking then. I didn’t know them and they were strangers to me but I felt that I was still connected to them in a way. When I found out that they were dead, it was like I experienced my mother dying again. My fake mother.

Now it was even worse. I was more desperate that I was a year ago. After finding out that my so called parents were dead, I needed someone beside me. And I looked for him, my boyfriend and also my best friend. He was my world and I thought that we would be together, I thought we would both be by each other’s side until the end, through everything. He promised and he broke that promise when he broke up with me.

He broke up with me when I needed him the most.

And I realised that it was really only just me who tried to make the relationship work. I played stupid card and ignored the way he looked at this other girl. He was in love with someone else and I was in love with him.

But loving him and him loving someone else hurt. It hurt so much that I let him go. Letting him go by leaving the place where I met him. I found out he was leaving town with his girlfriend yesterday. Even though he was my best friend, he didn’t bother telling me and was ready to follow the love of his life anywhere.

I snapped back to reality when a pair of black shoes appeared in my line of vision. I looked up to meet the owner and saw the dark eyes of a tall young man, about around my age. I couldn’t help but stare at him. I wanted to look somewhere else and not seem like a creep but I couldn’t.

He was so beautiful that I slowly forgot what I was dwelling on earlier the moment I met his eyes. All common sense left my body and I selfishly watched the man in front of me. I smiled because I wasn’t the only one being a creep.

We stayed like that for I didn’t know how long, just studying each other.

“Leo!”

The man closed his eyes and I tried to read his face but his face held no obvious emotion of what made him shut his eyes tightly. I had a feeling he was annoyed when an almost equally tall guy came running towards us.

“Dude, what is wrong with you, Chorong’s going to kill me if we aren’t there, like I don’t know, thirty minutes ago!” A slightly darker young man exaggerated with overly big arm movements and my interest perked up when a familiar name came out of his mouth.

“You must be Hakyeon.” I stated, not caring if what I said sounded creepy at all. I remembered my roommate ramble on about her boyfriend not giving her anything for her birthday. She sounded like she was either going to die or someone else was going to die for her. She was ready for anyone to die today.

The guy, Hakyeon, tilted his head in curiosity and asked me how I knew him.

“Chorong’s my roommate, she, uh, kinda told me everything about her plan of killing you for forgetting her birthday.”

Hakyeon chuckled nervously and turned his attention back to his friend, “Leo, we really need to go.”

“Just leave. I don’t want to see her.”

“But- “

Leo turned his head slightly and gave Hakyeon a very intimidating side glare that made him roll his eyes and give up, running away to wherever his girlfriend was at.

Feeling awkward after his friend left, I coughed, trying to make the situation less embarrassing, for me that is. The guy in front of me doesn’t seem to find it weird at all and went back to watching me. I wanted to say something, something rude like I usually do when I notice people staring at me.

He was different, well he made me feel and act different. I felt tense and I was never tense around anybody because I myself, was the one that made people edgy whenever they try to approach me. Call me anti social but I hated strangers talking to me. I don’t even remember how Hongbin befriended me.

“Um- can I help you?” I asked, finally breaking the silent I thought was awkward. The man didn’t bother answering and made the situation weirder than it already was and sat next to an empty spot next to me.

“You were going to cry.”

I frowned. Not because of what he said but why my usual thin, frail patience didn’t break yet. I didn’t like talking to people, especially with men wearing all black and has the tendency of stating the obvious that shouldn’t be openly stated.

I decided to not say anything back and leaned back on the bench, sighing loudly and enjoying the cold small breeze that briefly flew by. I looked up at the sky and was disappointed because the stars weren’t that visible like it was back at Gran’s place.

“Have you heard of the story of the The Black Rose?”

I looked at my side and was met with the same intense dark eyes I saw earlier. I smiled, I didn’t have a reason why but I couldn’t care less. If he thinks it’s okay to stare at me then why couldn’t I do the same?

He shook his head, indicating no.

“Tell me.” He whispered and I saw his mouth shift a little to a small smile. He changed position and turned his whole upper body towards my direction, resting his elbow on the backrest and placed his chin on his palm. This guy had no shame at all and I grinned, amused by him and his not so common actions. I’ve never met someone as straight forward as him.

I copied his position, trying to mock him but it seems like everything I did was entertaining to him because his eyes only brightened up when my face warmed in embarrassment when my attempt at being mean failed. What am I doing.

“Well… The black flower was rare. It was dark but the owner of the greenhouse never pulled it out of its bush like he did to the others. He only took the red ones and only the red ones. The black flower was oblivious about everything around it. It was lost but wasn’t at the same time. It knew that it belonged there but it also knew that it wasn’t happy.”

I redirected my eyes to the white sleeve of his sweater and rested my eyes there. Completely engrossed with the story. I wasn’t making up anything. I first mentioned the story because I wanted to start a conversation and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

I first read the short story in a small library back in my old town. The library was old and people rarely go there. The building was old and so was the books. I spent my weekends there whenever I had nothing else to do. The story stayed at the back of my head because of how much I though it matched my whole life story in a way.

Leo was still staring at me but I was already getting used to it. I took note that he wasn’t the talkative type and my interest for him grew because of this fact.

“One day, the usual happy man wasn’t his usual self. He was angry and he was sad, he was nothing like himself. He sat in the middle of his greenhouse, crying. The black rose was still there, untouched. The man stood up and left. He came back after a while, in his arm was a bouquet of beautiful white roses. He halted in front of the black rose and stood there. Staring at it for a while and then took it out of its beautiful misery. He placed the black rose in the middle of the white roses. He left the greenhouse and the story ended there.”

I smiled, but Leo noticed the grim look in my eyes and asked, “What do you think was the message?” I glanced back to his eyes and let the forced smile on my face disappear.

“It’s sad. In the end the black rose never really knew why it felt lost when it also knew it was where it was needed to be. It thought that it would be happy to be plucked out of its bush like the red roses. It tasted the short experience the roses had. But in the end, it never really felt what it wanted to feel.”

Leo looked at me, confused at what I was trying to say.

“I think the black roses was jealous and just wanted to be treated like the red roses it grew up watching. The red roses were given as a sign of love but the black rose was given to the dead lover the man was grieving for.”

I frowned when he grinned a few seconds later after hearing my explanation. “What?” I asked.

“It’s just- “

I waited for his answer and glared at him jokingly when he didn’t finish his sentence.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just you made such a short story into a really deep, sad story all of the sudden.”

I didn’t say anything afterwards and turned my head back to watching the people bustling loudly in the cold city of Seoul.

“The Black Rose didn’t have such a sad ending you know.” I quickly turned my attention back to the dark haired man again and widened my eyes.

“You’ve read the book?”

Leo nodded, “Yeah, my mum read it to me once when I was little.”

“What was the ending? The book I read it from was really old… I never really looked at it properly but I’m guessing the other half of the book was ripped…”

Leo smiled again and the amusement in his eyes made me impatient this time.

“So, are you going to tell me or not?” I asked a little bothered at his continuous stubborn way of trying to tease me without doing it directly. He knew he was getting on my nerve but didn’t care and stood up, leaving my question unanswered.

“Leo, tell me- “

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like what? The ending? I don’t care, I just need to know.” I didn’t know why I needed to know.

“No… I don’t like the fact that my friend told you my name and yet I don’t know yours.”

“You’re asking me now when you’ve spent almost half an hour staring at me?” I chuckled but quickly changed back the topic to the ending of the story I thought was just that for so many years.

“Not my fault.” He whispered but was loud enough for me to hear.

“I’ll tell you my name after you tell me the ending.”

Sighing, Leo sat back down to the bench and I now only noticed that I also stood up shortly after he did. However, I decided to stay standing up. I looked down at him, waiting eagerly.

“The black rose was pulled out to be given to the man’s lover, so you were correct. However, the lover wasn’t dead yet. The woman loved black roses and asked her lover to grow one in his greenhouse. It took a while but when the black rose did grow and bloom, the woman was already too weak to stand up and see it. The man suggested to bring the black rose to her instead but she resisted. But after a while, when the woman was lying in her death bed, she finally asked her lover if she could see the black rose.

So the man brought the black rose to her, and the man felt his heart lift up when he saw his lover smile for the first time in days. The woman’s last words were, “I was the black rose but thank you for being my light” and she died.”

Leo continued talking when he noticed that I wasn’t planning on saying anything.

“I think the woman compared herself to a black rose because of her sickness… I don’t know.”

“No. She meant something else.”

After so long, I felt like I finally had an answer. I’ve been lost for so long that I thought maybe I was never meant to find that something that would change my life. I wanted to feel something new and fresh. I thought that I already found the life I was destined to live but I couldn’t bring myself to accept that reality.

I realised that breaking up with Hongbin broke the world I built but I also felt free, like I could leave everything behind without feeling like I’m breaking someone else’s. Hongbin gave me reason to start again and for that I was thankful. The life I had back then was something I never saw as my reality.

“Jeong Eunji.” I felt my face stretched to a wide grin, a gesture I thought I would have to find a reason to make a little longer than expected. I saw the whole world differently as I smiled. A smile for real this time.

“I’m Jeong Eunji.” I laughed.

“As much as I want to tease you about your eyes disappearing when you smile, I won’t because it is quite breathtakingly stunning,” Leo laughed, covering his whole face with his hand, “This is so unfair.” He mumbled.

I grabbed his arm down, taking him off guard and I saw a glimpse of his reddening face.

“Are you blushing? Why, what did I do?” I whined, which was so out of character that I cringed at myself. However, I couldn’t care less about my “character” right now and kept trying to pull his hand away from his face. I pulled harder when he used both hands to cover his face this time.

“Why are you laughing?!” I laughed and pestered him harder when he crossed his arms and covered his face with it. I felt something tugged inside of me, it was like I was ready to run around Seoul at how carefree I felt. I laughed and I smiled, I did everything willingly and I wasn’t forcing myself to do such easy movement anymore.

When it looked like he wasn’t backing down, I gave up and sat back to my spot. I waited for him to look at me again and when he did, his arms were still covering more than half of his face and I could see that his neck had also turned red.

“Please be the one.” I whispered. I told him.