You brushed your hair, straightening the rebellious strands of hair that refused to stay in place. When you were done you placed the hairbrush on the vanity table in your bedroom and examined your appearance in the mirror. You looked old. You had wrinkles around your eyes and on your forehead from worrying too much. The sleepless nights also left their impact on you and the puffiness beneath your eyes wouldn't disappear no matter how much you tried to get rid of it. It was another reminder to your pathetic situation.

Your gaze moved to your body and to the dress you were wearing. It was a black dress, one that hugged your curves and made you feel feminine. You loved that dress. It reminded you beautiful nights, filled with laughter, lust and happiness. It reminded you of him. It was his favorite dress after all... And the dress you wore the first time you slept together.

Your mouth twitched at the thought of him. Yongguk... When was the last time you actually talked? Not to mention seeing each other in person. The closest you got to him in the last couple of months was watching him on the TV screen in your living room.

"Why am I doing this again?" you sighed, placing your hands on the vanity table. Your heart sank as the answer came to you. You still love him. Well, how couldn't you? He was there for you when others weren't. He was the one wiping your tears and taking care of all your needs without asking for anything in return. He was your savior.

He found you broken and helpless on a rainy night, wandering the streets of Seoul all by yourself. You didn't have an umbrella, nor a place to go. You were alone in the world but you didn't care either. It will be easier to disappear that way... No one will be sad after you'll leave.

You thought you were going to end the pathetic life you were leading and move on to a hopefully better world, but Yongguk didn't let you. He caught you before you fell. He didn't ask questions, he just offered you the warmth you needed and craved for. You had no idea you needed it so bad until he gave it to you. It was perfect. You really couldn't ask for anything more.

One day things started to change. From a loving boyfriend he started to distant himself from you. He visited you less, making excuses he was busy with work. You believed him so you didn't push harder. You let him have his space and didn't bother him because you didn't want to pressure him. After a while his calls stopped. You didn't call because you didn't want to be the clingy girlfriend he told you he hates so you just waited. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. And now you were here, all dressed up to go to a dinner celebrating B.A.P's new album release.

He didn't invite you, of course. The boys did. You refused at first but Junhong kept pestering you, telling you how much he missed you. You loved the boys but you stopped seeing them when Yongguk stopped contacting you. Honestly, you missed the kids as well, not only Yongguk. You knew it was a bad idea to go, but you wanted to see them one last time.

Your phone rang, cutting you off from your thoughts. You looked at the screen and smiled when you saw Junhong's number.

"Hey, kiddoh." You smiled.

"Noona!" the said male beamed. "You are coming, right?'

"Yes. I told you I will come. I missed you and the boys."

There was silence on the other side of the line, making you anxious. Did you say something wrong?

"I missed you too." Junhong finally said. "You know the address, right?"

"Yes, you told me the location 57 times until now. I'm pretty sure I got it right." you chuckled.

"I just want you to come." you were sure he was pouting and it made you smile.

"I will, don't worry. We will meet in half an hour."

"Wear pretty clothes, noona!"

"I always wear pretty clothes, you brat!"

"Sometimes you dress like an old lady." he claimed and hanged up before you could scold him for teasing you. You shook your head at his antics and placed your phone in your purse.

One last glance in the mirror and you were out of the door, heading towards the set meeting place.

~

The address Junhong gave you was the address to Youngjae's apartment. You recognized it the moment you stepped out of the taxi. You were there only a couple of times with Yongguk, but you remembered the building. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for what's about to come. You weren't sure you were ready to face Yongguk after so long, but it was too late to regret now. You promised Junhong you will be there, and you were going to keep your promise even if you'll be miserable because of that.

"Calm down. You can do this." you convinced yourself as you entered the elevator. You watched the numbers on the screen go up until it stopped on the desired floor number.

The elevator door opened and you stepped out, feeling your heartbeat getting faster. Your palms were sweating and you rubbed your hands on the black fabric of your dress.

You reached the door and you could hear music and laughter from inside. You hesitantly knocked on the door, a part of you still considering the option to leave. Unfortunately for you, the door opened and Youngjae stood there, a bottle of beer in his hand. He scanned you from head to toe and smiled.

"You made it." he stated.

"Junhong was quite persistent about it.." you tried to keep your tone light.

"I'm glad you are here. Come in." Youngjae said and moved to make you enough room to enter.

It felt like everything stopped when you entered the apartment. All eyes were turned to you, especially one pair of eyes you were scared to meet. His gaze was cold, not revealing any emotion. You wondered why Junhong asked you to come if it's obvious Yongguk is not happy to see you here...

The boys gave you pitiful looks. They didn't say anything, but they didn't need to because their eyes already told you everything you needed to know.

"Hey." Daehyun was the first to break the awkward silence and greeted you. "Do you want me to give you a tour around the house?"

"Yes, that would be nice." you smiled awkwardly but jumped on the opportunity to get out of the room. It was suffocating.

Daehyun led you to the different rooms in the apartment, talking about random things you didn't hear. Your mind was filled with Yongguk. You had to admit he looked good. He was wearing a white dress shirt that was folded above his elbow and a pair of jeans that made him look handsome. His hair was styled just the way you liked it, like he was doing it for you. You shook your head at the silly thought. He didn't even call you in the last couple of months, why would he dress up for you? He probably didn't even know you are going to come because Junhong invited you.

"Are you going to just stand there or are you going to follow me to the next room?" Daehyun asked, staring at you with an amused expression.

"Sorry..." you mumbled, realizing you were too lost in thought that you also stuck to your place instead of following him.

"Did you hear anything I said the last few minutes?" he teased. You shook your head shyly.

"You really love him, don't you?" Daehyun sighed. You nodded, feeling embarrassed.

"He is not a bad guy. I don't know why he is acting like this." he said apologetically.

"It's okay. You don't have to make excuses for him." You said.

"He really cared about you. I don't know what has changed."

"Feelings can change." the bitterness was evident in your voice even though you tried to hide it.

"We should go back, dinner is about to be served." he said dryly and walked out of the room, heading towards the dining room. You followed him quietly.

~

"Noona, come sit next to me!" Junhong said happily when he saw you, patting the empty seat next to him. You smiled and walked towards him, doing as he asked.

You looked at the long table. There were eight plates placed on it, meaning there was supposed to be one more guest beside you and the boys.

"Himchan's girlfriend is coming." Junhong said when he saw your gaze fixated on the white porcelain plates.

"Oh."

"She is nice. You would love her." he added and you wondered if you'll ever see her again after tonight. You weren't sure you'll meet the boys again.

"I can't wait." you faked a smile.

Junhong kept talking to you about all kind of things and you really tried to listen. You loved to see him excited and happy. It warmed your heart. The only thing that bothered you was the feeling of someone glaring at you. You looked around and noticed Yongguk was frowning, his gaze directed at you. It was cold and hostile and you had no idea why. You didn't do anything wrong... The only person to blame for your current situation is him.

You ignored Yongguk's glares and did your best to focus on Junhong. The other boys joined the conversation as well and it cleared your mind from Yongguk, even if it was temporary.

"Excuse me." you said shyly and excused yourself to visit the restroom. When you were done you took your place next to Junhong, who smiled at you.

"What do you think you are doing?" Yongguk spoke, for the first time tonight. And it was directed at you.

"Excuse me?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. Everyone stopped talking and looked at the two of you curiously.

"What were you thinking coming here dressed like that and being friendly with my members? Are you really trying to flirt with them in front of me?" he asked and you couldn't hide your insult and hurt. Is that what he really think of you? That you would seduce his friends?

"I'm not flirting with them." you managed to say before the tears started flowing down your face, ruining your makeup. "And I wore that dress for you, you idiot."

You hurriedly grabbed your things, not wanting to stay in this place any longer. It was suffocating and you didn't think you could handle the stares of the boys and Yongguk's accusations. You just wanted to disappear, just like the night you met Yongguk.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night." you muttered before rushing to the door.

You got out of the building and like the first night you met Yongguk, it was raining quite heavily. The only difference was that this time you had a place to go and you didn't have Yongguk. You were going to your apartment, that only had memories of him.

You let the rain drench your dress, ruining the rest of your appearance in the process. You must look really ugly now, but you didn't care. It's not like someone will try to hit on you anyway.. It's too rainy outside and the streets are empty.

You hummed a song to yourself, unaware of the fact that someone was following you. He quickened his steps, closing the distance between the two of you. He took a deep breath and raised his hands, covering your eyes with his palms. You knew who it was.

"Let me go." you ordered.

"I'm sorry." his deep voice echoed in the empty street.

"For what?" you turned around, facing the person you once loved.

"For everything."

"That's not enough."

"Let me try and make it up to you." he pleaded. His eyes told you he was sincere, but your heart just couldn't go through this again.

You tiptoed, reaching his level. You placed your lips on his, kissing him passionately. You put all the feelings you had locked inside in this kiss, and he did the same. You literally poured your hearts into it. And now you were ready to let go.

"Goodbye, Yongguk."