Seokmin loves Jihoon so much. Loves everything Jihoon is, everything Jihoon does (even if it's hitting him for being embarrassing. Seokmin doesn't mind being embarrassing one bit if it means getting to hear his Jihoonie laugh), and loves every single moment beside Jihoon.

From the moment 3-year-old Seokmin fall into 4-year-old Jihoon’s backyard while playing on the fence, they are each other’s many firsts. From first neighbours to first best friends, first crushes, first kisses, first boyfriends, first times and first loves. Seokmin has no interest in any seconds, and Jihoon has never even thought about the possibility. Seokmin made sure to ask Jihoon to please be officially his boyfriend at the elder’s graduation ceremony, after years of dancing around the idea and right in front of Jihoon’s parents – Jihoon looked more than ready to kill Seokmin on the spot, and Seokmin remembers thinking he couldn’t love Jihoon more (which, he knows now, was anything but true). Jihoon has been his ever since, and Seokmin is Jihoon’s, but after 8 years, he wants more.

Seokmin does his research. He wishes he could ask Jihoon to be his husband, the mere thought thrills him, but Korean law won’t ever allow it, and Seokmin decides that waking up next to Jihoon every single day is more than enough (he does already have two toothbrushes on his bathroom sink, but that’s beside the point). He doesn’t go through cheap apartment options in Seoul, doesn’t even look for matching keychains – something he’s going to get even if it’s going to make Jihoon facepalm into the sun. They can do that together later. Assuming Jihoon says yes, that is.

What Seokmin really wants is to ask him in public. To stop Jihoon on their way out for dinner and kneel down in front of him right there in the middle of the crowd and make a big scene out of it, but he knows Jihoon better than the other would ever dare admit and doesn’t want him to feel uncomfortable, doesn’t want to risk being refused, so movie night seems like the next best thing.

Jihoon is hidden under two layers of blankets, only his messy brown hair and round eyes poking out while he stares at his phone and waits for Seokmin to return with the popcorn. Seokmin’s in the kitchen, running his hands through his hair over and over again and replaying the plan in his head so many times he’s sure he won’t get it wrong. Well, almost sure, anyway. He stares at the reflection on the microwave door, adjusting the black strands that fall on his forehead – completely ignoring the fact that he’s wearing worn out sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt – before picking up the bowl that sits on the counter and heading to the living room in quick steps.

Jihoon makes grabby hands at the popcorn, taking a handful as soon as Seokmin hands the bowl over before moving to set up the movie, trembling a little.

“Seokmin-ah,” Jihoon pokes his cheek with a cold finger once they’re both settled under the covers and Jihoon’s done complaining about the salt. Seokmin lifts his head from its place on Jihoon’s shoulder to look at his face. “I love you.” Seokmin kisses him.

“Love you too.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jihoon takes the opportunity to turn Seokmin’s shoulder into a pillow now, turning back to the TV with a satisfied hum. Seokmin takes the hand Jihoon has on his thigh and squeezes. This is so different from 18-year-old Jihoonie who couldn’t even stutter out an “I like you” without running away. It’s also better, Seokmin thinks.

Jihoon starts talking about this new song he’s working on and wants Seokmin to listen halfway through the movie, and if it was anyone else interrupting his movie Seokmin would’ve been pissed, but it’s Jihoon and he loves even that, trying his best to pay attention over the loud thumping that has settled in his chest. He’s nervous, and hopes Jihoon doesn’t notice how sweaty his hand feels.

“I’m proud of you, Jihoon,” Seokmin says softly, because he really is always so very proud of his Jihoon, and the rest of the movie goes silently. Seokmin wonders if his insides have taken to learning pirouettes.

When it ends, Jihoon moves to get up and choose something else to watch, but Seokmin stops him and gets up himself. ‘It’s now or never, Lee Seokmin’, he tells himself. Seven words is all he need. He can do this.

Seokmin gets down on one knee over the mess of blankets on the floor in front of the couch, and Jihoon sits up immediately, eyes basically spelling ‘what the ’. He looks about to run off at any second.

“Jihoon,” Seokmin starts, grabbing the other’s hands to keep him there – and to avoid falling on his face, though he’d never admit it.

“Seokmin,” Jihoon sounds bewildered, but settles back onto the cushions and waits.

“We’ve been dating for 8 years now,” Seokmin continues slowly, picking every word carefully. “And we’ve been together for so long I wouldn’t know what life without you is like.”

Jihoon only stares, but his eyes seem softer.

“I love you, Jihoon. Very much. So much I–” Seokmin wonders if it’s healthy for his chest to feel so constricted, “I wish I could take you somewhere nice and ask you to marry me, but we can’t do that. But I still… I still want to be with you for the rest of my life, Jihoonie.”

Jihoon in a breath and squeezes his hands.

“I think– I mean, would you–” Seokmin stops for a second to collect himself, failing to notice the smile that tugs at the corners of Jihoon’s mouth. “Wouldyouliketomoveintogether?”

Jihoon takes a second to register before hiding his face with one hand. Seokmin smiles. That’s his Jihoon.

“You… I can’t believe you.”

“So?” Seokmin asks playfully now, shaking Jihoon’s other hand.

“, Seokmin,” he complains and “Yesofcourse,” finishes in a single breath. Seokmin laughs out of pure happiness and takes Jihoon’s hand off his face so he can kiss him.

When they break apart, Seokmin opens his mouth to say something, but “Later, please,” Jihoon asks, and lies back down on the couch, pulling Seokmin with him. There are no more movies that night.

A month later, Jihoon plops down on their new bed in their new apartment, exhausted from unboxing their stuff. Their, their, their. Seokmin loves the word almost as much as he loves Jihoon. He tugs on the smaller's shirt.

"We've still got a lot to organize here, Jihoon."

"Tomorrow, yeah?"

Seokmin chuckles, and lies down over him.

"Damn it, Seokmin, you're heavy!" he complains between punches. "I'll get up!" he tries again when it's clear Seokmin wasn't planning on moving. Seokmin rolls over with a smile plastered on his face, and Jihoon does get up and opens a few more boxes, grumbling the whole time about how much of an Seokmin is and how "I'll never understand why I love you."

Seokmin has never felt more at home.