J’Adore la Fraise

Drizzling sounds of the rain

You look at me

and I have never felt the same

 

 

One curl of glaze more, one last miniature letter, and then a slightly bigger heart at the end. It wouldn’t be so damn hard had the tip of the piping bag not been at the size of a needle. A single inaccuracy, just one slip of thought, and he’d screw up. This was already his third attempt the past fifteen minutes only for this particular cake; he did not want to screw up. So just one move more, just the perfect little finish of the heart he has practiced so many times before—

 

«Jonghyun!»

 

He jumps. If ten feet up in the air or just a twitch, it doesn’t matter, because his cake decoration is ruined. He sighs and he groans, dejectedly letting go of the piping bag in turn for glaring at his cousin. «What?»

 

She just snickers at him.

 

Not that Jonghyun would expect anything else. Ever since he moved to live with his father three years prior, she has been like this on every other occasion. Poking him in the ribs just because she knows he’s brittle in that exact area. Teasing him because she claims he’s adorable when he’s embarrassed. Calling his name when she knows he’s concentrating and needs the skill of a steady hand. She says it’s the advantage of being the oldest.

 

Jonghyun thinks it’s merely his everlasting disadvantage for being the youngest.

 

«You need to stop doing that,» he grumbles under his breath and pushes the pink strawberry treat aside next to the two others he has so pathetically failed perfecting, and carefully fetches another. He has five left for decoration, and then a new kind of pastry waiting for refill. The day is, after all, still young.

 

«You know I love you,» she states simply before heading off to the cash register, smiling brightly at the pair of customers set for ordering.

 

Jonghyun rolls his eyes and gets ready to try anew. This time he’s gong to nail it, he can feel it. And he’s right—well, in the so far, so good kind of way. He’s taking a quick breather, careful to end his string of glaze at the ideal place, when he notices there’s a customer watching him work from across the counter. It’s a man he has never seen before; the defined features of his face and the contradicting scar along his black eyebrow is something he’s sure he would recognize.

 

There is signs of rain drizzles on the shoulders of his grey coat, and he has a shoulder bag across his chest.

 

Jonghyun smiles, polite, once the man meets eyes with him. «Bonjour, monsieur. Can I help you?»

 

«Bonjour,» he greets with a small nod of his head, looking hesitant before he speaks, much to Jonghyun’s horror, in English. «I’m just curious about what you’re making. It looks very luscious.»

 

«Oh, uh.» More like oh uh , because there’s a reason why he failed English all throughout high school. He spends a good three seconds more stammering before God deems him so pathetic he blesses him with a miracle. «It’s, uh, j’adore la fraise. Sweet strawberry and almond cake melting on tongue.»

 

There’s a weak tug of the corner of the man’s mouth that Jonghyun can only assume is the suppression of a smile. Jonghyun doesn’t say anything, though; he’d probably laugh at himself, too, had the opportunity ever struck him by.

 

«Could I maybe have one of those?» the customer asked, pointing feebly at the cake by Jonghyun’s hands. He has this hopeful look in his eyes that makes it impossible to say no. Not that he would want to do that, to start with.

 

«Of course,» Jonghyun replies. «This will finished in five minutes. You can order with the cashier and it will be ready soon.»

 

The man smiles and nods, utters his thanks and goes on to make his order. Jonghyun returns the smile before steadying his hands around the piping bag. After all, as his uncle always makes sure to remind him, customer service is the key point of convincing customers. He sneaks a peek at the man again from the corner of his eyes and sees how he’s wearing the same polite smile on his lips as he pays and walks off to take a seat.

 

He looks well off, Jonghyun mulls.

 

Slicing a fresh strawberry, he places it neatly on the platter right next to the cake once he has made his best attempt of perfecting the glaze. If the man minds the twist of curls in his glaze decoration once he has the platter before him, he doesn’t show it, as he eats happily. He must be a student, Jonghyun concludes, for there are books and planners in front of him and his bag is placed neatly by his feet.

 

The dreamful look on the man’s face whenever he takes a bite is more than enough inspiration for Jonghyun to continue his work and finish the last cakes for display.

 

This is practice. His uncle always says his baking can be as good as perfect, but when it comes to French pastry, in his French café, the small details count just as much as taste alone.

 

It’s almost two hours later when the man leaves. Jonghyun is in the middle of cleaning the counter when he catches his eyes from across the room. The man smiles and nods his head in greeting before taking his leave. The wet on his coat has long since dried and the rain outside has stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

Éclair à la Pistache

I love your warm smile

and your kind, thoughtful way

The joy that you bring

to my life every day

 

 

It’s a day over a week later that Jonghyun sees the man again. He wouldn’t expect him to come back, but the idea wasn’t too far off; they had plenty of regulars and customers stopping by at least one week or another. He wouldn’t have noticed him as easily, either, had it not been for the man standing at the exact same spot as he did the first time, admiration in his eyes.

 

«What are you making today?» he asks.

 

Jonghyun is shocked. Not only because he hadn’t paid any attention—no, the man speaks French!

 

«Um, this is muffin batter, monsieur,» Jonghyun declares, rather hesitant, for he is not sure about this man’s French knowledge at all. The look on his face gives no hint of confusion, so he then adds, «For French toast muffins.»

 

Wonder splays over the man’s pristine features. «I have to try those sometime,» he murmurs, in what Jonghyun believes can not be mistaken for Korean, before he moves his eyes to the trays of treats behind the display glass. «What will you suggest I try today?» he questions Jonghyun, back to French.

 

«Well, I’m not too sure about your preferences and what not, but…» Jonghyun bites his lip, muffin forms and batter long forgotten as he scans their broad selection of pastries. He points at the tray containing of long pastries with different colours. «This is an easy but delicate pastry filled with cream. We have several different toppings, such as chocolate, caramel or pistachio. Would that be of your interest, monsieur?»

 

The man’s eyes centre keenly on said treat. Jonghyun has to bite back a smile. «They look tasty,» he utters. A meek moment later, he seems to have made up his mind. He offers Jonghyun a grin. «Merci, monsieur. I will make my order.»

 

Jonghyun nods and watches him go on to get in line, before he gets back to filling up the muffin forms so that he can empty the bowl of batter and get them into the oven. He has just set the timer and is about to rinse his baking utensils when he sees his cousin leaning against the counter and looking at him with this look in her eyes that screams for triumph.

 

«What,» he deadpans, grabbing the bowl and turning around to put it in the sink. She follows.

 

«Are you getting it on with the boys, Jonghyun?»

 

He frowns at her. «What?»

 

She gnaws at her bottom lip, though it does little to hide her grin. She tilts her head to the side and yanks a thumb over her shoulder for good measure. «That one over there, with the red jumper and iPad,» she says, and Jonghyun’s frown deepens when his eyes zone in on a rather familiar face.

 

He lifts an eyebrow at his cousin. It only makes her grin widen as she wiggles her own brows in return. She lowers her voice as if telling a secret. «He asked if you could serve him.»

 

Jonghyun’s eyebrows lifts higher. He looks back at the man; he’s oblivious, focused only on the device in his hands. Then Jonghyun frowns. «He wants me to serve him what, exactly?»

 

«An éclair pistache and coffee, of course,» his cousin replies immediately. She has already found platters and a coffee cup for him. Sometimes Jonghyun thinks she’s too much.

 

He sighs and grabs a latex glove, careful with his placement of the cake and making sure the crushed pistachios and raspberries look nice on top. He’s digging into the cutlery drawer when his cousin is pouring coffee into the cup for him. She smiles sweetly at him and whispers, «He always takes his coffee black.»

 

Jonghyun scowls at her retreating back and throws away the glove before making his way to the customer’s table. He looks up once he stops next to him, instantly locking his iPad and putting it down on the table as Jonghyun put down his order. «Merci,» he smiles.

 

There are many parts of him that says he shouldn’t, but Jonghyun simply can’t help himself when he asks, rather carefully, «You speak French now, monsieur?»

 

The man grins timidly up at him. «I spent my week catching up so I can speak more freely,» he admits. «And please, um, call me Kibum.»

 

«I’m Jonghyun. Nice to meet you,» he smiles, offering a nod.

 

Kibum looks hesitant. «Are you perhaps busy right now?»

 

«Well, that depends. Is there something I can help you with, monsieur?»

 

«Sit with me.»

 

Oh. Would it be okay getting off duty thirty minutes early? His uncle isn’t here to scold him for it, so he guesses it can’t hurt, as long as Angélique can take care of their customers from behind the counter. He glances at her from over his shoulder. She’s already looking at him with an excited expression. She gives him a thumbs up for encouragement that Jonghyun so wishes it didn’t look like he needed, because that’s just embarrassing.

 

He ignores the amused quizzical look Kibum is giving him and takes a seat from across him, clearing his throat. «Since I’m positive it’s much nicer talking to you instead of doing dishes, sure.»

 

«So, Jonghyun,» Kibum starts, taking hold of one of the raspberries and putting it into his mouth. «You’re Korean?»

 

«Half. My mum is Korean but my dad is French. You?»

 

«Same. Well, both my parents are Korean, but we moved here recently,» Kibum says conversationally, cutting off a piece of his cake with his fork. He looks up at Jonghyun as he takes a bite. «How long have you stayed here?»

 

Jonghyun runs his hands along his apron absentmindedly, clearing out invisible wrinkles. That explains all of Kibum’s previous multilingual expressions. «About three years now, I think. What did you move here for? If you don’t mind me asking.»

 

Kibum’s eyes widen slightly over his coffee cup. «No, that’s all right.» He settles the cup back on its platter. «Actually, um, it’s my parents—well, my dad in particular, who had to move here for…political reasons, really. He got promoted. I just decided to tag along because mum was coming too, and I always wanted to study abroad anyway.»

 

«That’s exciting,» Jonghyun’s eyes round just a little. «What does your father work with to end up in France?»

 

«He’s an ambassador. One of the ministres chargés d'affaires, if you like.»

 

That was not expected. Kibum looks almost shy for having to speak the words out loud, and Jonghyun honestly understands why, because he doesn’t know what to say. If the situation always went out like this, it must not be Kibum’s favourite form of conversation.

 

He is about to utter a lame «oh really» when Kibum beats him to it. «Enough about that. What about you, Jonghyun? How did you end up at this particular French café?»

 

«My uncle runs it,» he states simply. This time it is Kibum’s eyes that round in surprise.

 

«Oh?»

 

«Yup. And that over there,» Jonghyun motions to his cousin behind the counter. Sadly, she notices and waves at them. Jonghyun groans internally, but pretends like nothing. «She is my cousin, Angélique. Who is very embarrassing.»

 

Kibum chuckles airily. His eyes narrows when he does, and his dimples gets even more prominent. It’s charming, Jonghyun muses. «She’s very nice, though,» Kibum grants.

 

As true as that is, it’s not always the case for Jonghyun’s poor soul.

 

There’s a distant ding! from behind the counter, signalling that the muffins are done. Jonghyun jerks in his seat, sheepishly running his hand along the nape of his neck. «Duty calls,» he announces. Kibum nods.

 

«You should get going,» he states. «Thank you for the chat, the éclair is delicious. See you later?»

 

«Sure,» Jonghyun pushes the chair back into the table. Kibum salutes him and he giggles, rushing back behind the counter to save his muffins.

 

 

 

 

Macaron Coquelicot

When I’m with you

eternity is a step away

My love continues to grow

with each passing day

 

 

Into the week that comes, Jonghyun thinks it’s only inevitable he notices Kibum stops by almost every day. Sometimes he’s there at four, other times at noon. The books he lays before him is now thicker than they had been the week prior, and his focus for studying has sharpened. Even so, he always asks Jonghyun for his recommendations before doing his studies.

 

Today, he is asking for macarons. «I’ve always wanted to taste real French macarons,» he claims. Kibum is dressed nicely in dark jeans and tucked in bottom downs, with a luxurious handbag on his arm. His choice of clothes consistently fascinates Jonghyun; at times more often than not his wealth and family status is more than visible through his clothes, yet at other times he dresses completely like a regular person.

 

Perhaps he likes to blend in, Jonghyun thinks.

 

«What are those?» Kibum points at the tray with macarons behind the glass.

 

«The pink ones?» Jonghyun guesses. There are five different variants on that single tray, but only one type is pink and contains of flower petals. Kibum nods idly. «They are called macaron coquelicot, after the flower. Poppies. It’s tasty, despite what you’d think about the florals, I promise.»

 

Kibum still looks doubtful, though. «Did you make them?»

 

Jonghyun nods. «I make everything here. My uncle usually bakes with me, but he’s not back from his business trip yet.»

 

«All of them?» Kibum’s eyebrows lift as his eyes trail over their selection of pastries. He looks impressed more than anything else. He nods, thoughtful. «Okay, since you made them, I’m going to try one. I’m sure they taste just as good as everything else I’ve tried. You really are an exceptional pastry baker, Jonghyun.»

 

The charming smile he gives when he says that has Jonghyun at a loss of words for a moment. His mouth opens and closes stupidly before he coughs and breaks eye contact. «Uh, thank you.»

 

«No problem, I only speak the truth,» Kibum goes on, digging into his bag and fishing out his wallet. «I should get to my studies, I’m running behind in one of my classes already.»

 

Jonghyun tells him to get to it and watches as he, as per usual, goes over to make his order with Angélique. Jonghyun beats his cousin to ready the macaron, adding one more than Kibum had initially ordered, this one of chocolate. His cousin rolls her eyes once she sees, but says nothing. When she’s served Kibum his macarons and coffee, she goes to put on the dishwasher. In her passing, she utters, «You two are so totally flirting.»

 

He can’t think of any witty retorts to that statement.

 

 

 

 

Profiterole au Chocolat

When first we touched

my heart flew high

On gossamer wings

through a cloudless sky

 

 

Today mustn’t be as busy, Jonghyun gathers. He lets his eyes trail up to gaze at Kibum for the fourth time now; he has been standing there watching him work for a couple of minutes, an expectantly strenuous look in his eyes. He is yet to ask Jonghyun for any recommendations, and he hasn’t made any orders, either.

 

Jonghyun clears his throat to get his attention. «You know, it’s really nerve-wracking when you hawk over me like this.»

 

It’s supposed to be humorous. Even so, Kibum looks genuinely contrite.

 

«I’m sorry, it’s just really fascinating to watch you work,» he explains, speaking each word carefully. «And it’s strange, because that thing,» he points at the dough in the bowl between Jonghyun’s hands, «is going to melt on someone’s tongue, probably.»

 

«Have you never had someone bake for you when you were little?» Jonghyun asks, pushing his bowl to the side to spread flour on the counter.

 

Kibum shakes his head. «Not really. but I did try to make a cake for mother’s day once when I was seven.»

 

Quirking a brow, Jonghyun looks up at him through his bangs. «How’d that go?»

 

«Horribly,» chortles Kibum. Jonghyun laughs and pats his hands over the flour lightly.

 

«Hey,» he says, a little uncertain as he meets Kibum’s curious eyes. «Would you maybe like to try? I’ve got more than enough dough, plus there’s always usually a piece or two left by the end of the day. Or, you know, you could just watch, if you want. Keep me company.»

 

The doubt that has formed on Kibum’s features makes Jonghyun think that maybe he went too far requesting such a thing. It was one thing that Jonghyun wouldn’t get in trouble for it, his uncle didn’t get back before tomorrow morning, but there was no reason to assume no one else had their own lives to live. He should have just let Kibum do as he had originally planned for today, he probably has studies to see to—he’s a busy person, right? He’s a student. A diplomat’s son, at that. And now Jonghyun has put him in an unpleasant situation to top it off, how stupid—

 

«Are you sure that’s okay?»

 

«Huh?»

 

Kibum fiddles with the sleeve of his folded shirt, looking sheepish. «If I try, are you sure that is a good idea? I mean, you have your job to do and a café to run, I don’t want to trouble you.»

 

«Oh, no, that’s all right!» Jonghyun reassures, a little surprised but an even greater load relieved to hear his reply. He smiles. «Don’t worry. I’m confident I can still do my job with you next to me. Just come back here and it’s done.»

 

With no further ado, Kibum walks down to the other end of the long counter, past the cash register and ovens, and down to Jonghyun’s work station corner. «Just wash your hands in the sink there,» Jonghyun apprises. Kibum sets his shoulder bag down on the floor, and then cleans and dries his hands. He is hesitant, but stands alongside Jonghyun, nevertheless.

 

«What is it you’re making?»

 

«Scones,» Jonghyun states simply. He turns the bowl so that the dough falls onto the flour covered counter with a light thump, and starts cutting up smaller pieces. «It’s raspberry-walnut scones to be exact. This is part of the breakfast-lunch menu selection, and it’s a special recipe that’s been in my French family for a while,» he goes on. Putting the knife aside, he glances at Kibum, commenting, «You’re early today.»

 

Kibum nods, bashful suddenly. «Yeah, I’m actually off today, but I didn’t want to be stuck at home so.»

 

«I understand,» nods Jonghyun, offering a smile his way. «Here,» he says, placing a piece of the sticky dough in front of Kibum and taking one for himself. «Just pat your hands onto the flour first so it won’t stick to your fingers, and then you just roll it inside your palm to make it more even. Like this, yeah?» Jonghyun demonstrates by flicking his wrist so that he dough rolls against the counter and forms a somewhat smooth bun soon afterwards.

 

He looks to Kibum and watches him repeat the action. When he lifts his hand, a slightly smoother bun comes to sight, but it’s still uneven. Determined, he tries again, merely to come up with the same result. «Maybe this is not my thing,» Kibum states, chuckling timorously.

 

«Nonsense, baking is everyone’s thing. Practice makes perfect, remember?» Jonghyun encourages. «Look, it’s not difficult.» He covers the uneven lump and smoothens it out with a flick of his wrist.

 

«Okay,» Kibum nods, resolution in his eyes as he grabs a new lump and pats more flour to his palm. He covers the dough methodically with his hand, his hand movements slightly stiff whilst he circles his wrist.

 

Once more, they both end up staring at an uneven clump of dough. Jonghyun chortles.

 

«Please don’t laugh at me,» beseeches Kibum in an instant, hint of a whine in the edge of his voice. Eventually he can’t resist laughing, too. «I can’t help it if I .»

 

«You don’t ,» Jonghyun heartens, unable to erase the grin on his mouth.

 

Kibum gives him a look. «Liar.»

 

«Hey, I when I first tried baking buns when I was little, too, but I got better. The same will you. C’mere,» Jonghyun gesticulates half-heartedly as he takes a new dough piece and places it before the both of them. «I’ll show you.»

 

Grasping on to Kibum’s wrist softly, he places his palm on top of the dough before he goes to reposition his fingers so to make it effortless. Jonghyun covers Kibum’s hand with his own, gently guiding both their palms to move in circles. Each piece is usually just about bigger than Jonghyun’s palm can cover, but with Kibum’s size it covers fully.

 

After three rotations, he lifts his hand, and once the scone is revealed it’s almost as even as it would be if Jonghyun had done it on his own. He smiles. «See? It’s not too bad,» he murmurs, putting it to the side and replacing it with the uneven one Kibum tried to smooth out before. «Try now.»

 

Jonghyun remains unmoving as he watches Kibum even out the dough. It turns out almost perfect; good for an almost-first time. Kibum clears his throat, nodding his head rather stiffly. «Better than nothing, right?»

 

His voice is lighter than usual, Jonghyun notices, looking up at him simply to become conscious of how close they are standing. His chest is pressed into Kibum’s shoulder, their faces only just inches apart, and their hands adjacent to one another on the counter. He is suddenly hyperaware of his breathing—does he have a bad breath? Did he forget to brush his teeth?—and his heart is rattling in his chest.

 

«I—» he stops himself to sniff the air. «, that smells burnt.»

 

Jolting away, Jonghyun rushes to turn off the left oven, mortified when he is met with a tray of what could easily be the most perfect tarte au chocolat. «Oh mon Dieu,» he mutters, shaking his head in distress. What a waste.

 

As he works on getting the tray out, Kibum rushes past him and says something in the likes of «I should go do my studies», but Jonghyun can’t be too sure. Confused, he glances to his left, catching Angélique stopping him and asking him something. Kibum nods and says something in return; he smiles, polite as ever, but avoids looking back to where Jonghyun is staring at him. He finds a seat, digs into his handbag for a book, and his cousin pours a cup of coffee.

 

Jonghyun frowns. Weird.

 

He is made to forget about his ruined chocolate tart when she orders him to prepare chocolate profiteroles. Jonghyun does as he’s told, because it is after all his job, but he is perplexed seeing her serve the plate to Kibum’s table afterwards.

 

 

 

 

Tartelette Fraise-Coco

I love the way you look at me

your eyes so bright and blue

I love the way you kiss me

your lips so soft and smooth

 

 

This particular Thursday is displeasing, Jonghyun deems. His uncle is back in safe hold, so at least that’s a good thing, but that fact alone carries no joy enough to erase the crinkle between his brows.

 

Today is the first time Kibum hasn’t asked for Jonghyun’s recommendations. In fact, Jonghyun wouldn’t even notice he was here had he not accidentally looked over to his cousin at the exact same time Kibum was standing there and apparently ordering his usual cup of coffee and a chocolate-coconut tart, which Jonghyun had to prepare.

 

Was he avoiding him? Had he gone too far yesterday with letting him try baking scones? Did Kibum think he had been flirting with him? Did he think he had been flirting with him?

 

«Oh Dieu,» he mutters under his breath. He is afraid he has done something foolish again without even realizing it himself.

 

«What’s this about God?»

 

Jonghyun startles and almost loses the tray of macarons he’s about to put in place for display. His dear uncle Gilbert barks out a laugh at his reaction, and Jonghyun soon feels his hand clasp down on his shoulder. «What’s got in your mind, boy? You’re usually harder to scare than this.»

 

He is about to reply when his cousin decides to do what she does best: Make things worse.

 

«He’s just busy admiring his crush,» she says, smiling sweetly as she walks up to them. Then she leans in her father’s direction and mutters, not so subtly, «He’s been staring ever since his crush got here, so I think you should just excuse him, papa. He’s a no-go.»

 

«Shut up,» Jonghyun flushes, alarm in his eyes.

 

His uncle looks like he’s just been fed the freshest news of the week, his eyes briefly flicking up to their guests sprawled around on tables throughout the locale. Jonghyun swears, if his uncle ends up telling his dad about this, Angélique is going to have to pay for it later. Fortunately, it looks like his uncle let’s the matter go, regardless of how much his interest has been piqued. «Now, kids, let’s get some work done. There’s still another couple of hours left before closing time.»

 

As he goes to welcome a new customer, his cousin leans against the counter and smirks at him. «You know, you could just go talk to him. He’s right across the room. And I know there’s something going on, because you’re both acting weird, so just speak up.»

 

Jonghyun narrows his eyes. «How about you just mind your own business?»

 

«Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today,» she singsongs, tittering as she walks off. Jonghyun scowls at the back of her head before he wills himself to go do the dishes.

 

 

***

 

 

It’s almost eleven p.m. when Jonghyun counts himself done for the day. Since he closed up at ten, he’s been cleaning the counters, discarding today’s waste food, and mopping the floors after he put all the chairs on top of their corresponding tables.

 

Seeing that their only employees consists of his uncle, his cousin and himself, they switch rounds on who stays behind late to close the café and clean up for the upcoming day. Jonghyun had tried curry favour with Angélique and promise to cover for her some other time, yet she insisted today just didn’t work for her. So, running on three hours of sleep from the night prior, Jonghyun had been left with no other choice but to complete his full seventeen-hour work duty for the day—cons of being part of a family business.

 

Once he steps foot outside he takes a long drag of the humid night air, feeling the familiar content sting in his lungs as they fill up all they might. He feels worn out; his shoulders are stiff and aching, same goes for his feet and back. A twenty-minute walk left, plus the four staircases up to his dad’s apartment, and he can sink deep down into his bed.

 

The thought alone is enough to have him going.

 

Lost in his own thoughts and drowsiness, he has just turned the key inside the keyhole when he feels someone touch his arm. He jumps, scatters out a good number of «s» and «s» as he almost falls over and eventually throws himself around to lay eyes on his encroacher.

 

In front of him stands a sheepish looking Kibum, appearing apologetic. The beating of Jonghyun’s heart does not exactly lessen upon seeing him.

 

«Bonjour,» Jonghyun says after a while of silence. He straightens up, away from the café entrance door, and smoothens out his jacket. Kibum takes a respectful step back, fingers fiddling with the button of his coat.

 

«I’m sorry for scaring you,» he speaks. Jonghyun thinks he really sees remorse in his eyes, however he’s not too sure about the meaning considering the tone of his voice. «I was in luck seeing you here, I think I forgot something earlier. Have you seen it? It’s, um. A pen.»

 

Jonghyun blinks at him. «Oh, uh. No. I didn’t see any pens,» he admits. «But we do keep all lost belongings in a box inside just in case the customers come back to retrieve their things, it might be there. I’ll lock us in and find it for you.»

 

Kibum smiles. «That would be great, thank you.»

 

Unlocking the door, Jonghyun puts the keys back in his pocket as he shows both of them in. He closes the door and walks over to the counter to flick the lights back on. Kibum is still standing in the middle of the room as Jonghyun wanders over to the sink. He ducks down to get hands on wanted box, positive he last saw it behind the several bags of coffee beans and coffee filter refills.

 

With each passing second, the more conscious he gets about being alone with Kibum in such a tense condition. It’s then it really dawns on him how clumsy his fingers are being in their search, and just how loud his own pulse is beating at the back of his skull.

 

Finally, he gets a hold of what he was looking for.

 

Placing the box on the counter, Jonghyun closes the cabinet door with his knee and waits for Kibum to round the counter and come search for his lost pen. «I’m not sure if it’s here, but you can take a look,» he offers, hoping he doesn’t sound as nervous as he feels.

 

Kibum is standing next to him now, however, he does not move to examine the box for his lost belonging. Jonghyun isn’t quite certain what to make of his lack of reaction, so he does nothing; even his eyes remain glued to the counter, his body stiff. He still feels bad about the previous day, so it’s only natural Kibum has to speak up about it—if he ever wants to.

 

It can’t possibly have been that long, but it feels like they have been standing in silence for minutes already when Kibum finally speaks.

 

«Jonghyun.»

 

Upon hearing his name, Jonghyun carefully looks up to meet Kibum’s eyes. «Oui?» he asks, a little breathless. Has Kibum always looked this gorgeous? His gaze is intense as it holds onto Jonghyun’s, captivating and daring him to look away.

 

Kibum’s eyes flicker in between his for a long, fiery moment, before his deep voice breaks the silence yet again. «Can I kiss you?»

 

Jonghyun’s mouth opens and his heart skips a beat. He is not confident he heard Kibum right, but sooner than he can give it a proper thought, he blurts out, «Oui.»

 

The rough edge to Kibum’s features that Jonghyun had not been able to decipher earlier smoothens out once he says that. Jonghyun feels like his heart is jumping up his throat for each beat it takes. His hands are clammy and he almost finds it hard to breathe over the expectations that thrill his veins as Kibum moves closer; as his perfume tickles his nostrils pleasantly, and his breath mingles with his, so close.

 

He dares not close the distance on his own accord, despite how much his fingers tingle at the very ends of his rigid limbs. Jonghyun squeezes his eyes shut, eager, and gasps when Kibum’s lips finally brushes his.

 

Warmth swells within him instantly. Kibum’s lips are soft and smooth as they melt with his own, reverently pressing closer, until both their noses press into one another’s cheeks. Jonghyun finds himself relaxing, at the back of his mind hoping that the moment would never end, but his thoughts merely taunts him as they soon after part to catch their breaths.

 

Kibum really is beautiful, Jonghyun thinks, as he slowly opens his eyes to fix his gaze on the man before him. It was a fairly simple kiss, yet Jonghyun feels like he just landed on earth from many weeks embarked in space.

 

«There was no pen, was there?»

 

Biting his lip, Kibum shakes his head lightly. «Not really, no,» he admits. «But, I did forget my pen once last week, so I had to come back for it later on.»

 

Jonghyun is so dazzled about the complete rawness of Kibum’s flushed face and badly suppressed grin, he can’t even think about getting mad regarding his little stunt earlier. He has to be honest with himself and admit that he had thought of Kibum romantically before, but never has he imagined facing those feelings head on would feel this overpowering. Jonghyun finds he wants to kiss Kibum more.

 

«That’s okay, though,» Jonghyun admits, having summoned a sudden spark of confidence as he looks straight into Kibum’s eyes. «I don’t think I mind.»

 

Kibum’s dimples become even more prominent than usual as he gnaws on his bottom lip. He crosses his arms, casting his gaze down for a brief moment before he coughs lightly, voice soft. «I should get going, you’re probably tired. But, um. I’ll see you?»

 

«Of course,» Jonghyun smiles. «You know where to find me.»

 

Kibum laughs. As he finds his way out, he bashfully waves Jonghyun goodbye from the doorway before he disappears from sight. On his way home, Jonghyun realises he’s not so tired anymore.

 

 

 

 

Pain au Chocolat

I think of you each morning

and dream of you each night

I think of your arms being around me

and cannot express my delight

 

 

Friday after Kibum’s little visit, Jonghyun is surprised to see Kibum himself walking in the door of La Belle Vie at ten in the morning. It’s a first, for he rarely ever stops by before noon.

 

«Bonjour,» greets Kibum with a grin on his face as he walks over to Jonghyun’s work station counter. Jonghyun bites his lip, his heart not quite at ease with the sight of him—but it’s a good kind of nervous, even if he has no idea how he stands with Kibum right now.

 

«Bonjour. I hope you’re not here for breakfast?» he asks.

 

Kibum laughs. «No worries, monsieur. I have eaten my healthy breakfast at home. I’m just here for something sweet to keep my blood sugar up through my lecture today. Also—coffee.»

 

«Well, that’s something I can always help you with,» Jonghyun grins. He wipes his hands on his apron and looks over their pastry display. «What is it you’re looking for?»

 

«Chocolate.»

 

Jonghyun peers at him from between the tips of his bangs, amused. «Then… chocolatine?»

 

«Which one?» Kibum asks, his slightly widened eyes scanning the trays of treats expectantly. Jonghyun points to the right bunch, awaiting Kibum’s hungry expression once he lays eyes on them. He looks up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes rather seriously. «Two of those, please.»

 

«Of course,» Jonghyun singsongs as he finds a paper bag and neatly folds the end once he has got the two chocolate treats inside. He decides to fix Kibum his black coffee and manage his payment, too, once he sees that Angélique is already busy serving other customers. «Here you go,» he smiles.

 

Kibum utters his thanks and returns the smile. Jonghyun sees he’s about to leave but decides against it. Instead, he looks at Jonghyun with a look that makes him feel ridiculously buoyant; anticipatory. «Hey, um,» Kibum starts, voice somewhat softer than usual. «Besides the sweets, I wondered if you maybe wanted to go out with me tomorrow?»

 

Jonghyun strangely enough feels ten pounds lighter hearing Kibum ask that. He smiles, yet again, delighted. «I’d love to.»

 

«Great,» Kibum beams, seeming relieved. «Then can I meet you here tomorrow at six? There’s somewhere I’d like to take you.»

 

«Sure,» nods Jonghyun, bright. He is not quite certain, but he sincerely wishes to believe it’s normal to feel this distressed once Kibum throws in a comment about how he is ought to dress nicely before leaving.

 

 

 

 

Gourmandise Constellation

You bring a joy to my heart

I’ve never felt before

With each touch of your hand

I love you more and more

 

 

Courtesy of Angélique, Jonghyun’s uncle gave him some time off Saturday afternoon. Apparently he was convinced that Jonghyun had worked so hard in his stead during his business trip that he cut Jonghyun some slack for today only. Personally, Jonghyun didn’t feel with the sentiment; both he and Angélique alike knew that he had lost focus during his absence instead of maintaining it. But as long as his uncle doesn’t get to know he has been playing favourites with certain customers, he guesses it’s better he lives this one lie out.

 

Besides, in the middle of drying his hair, Jonghyun realizes that he really needs the time.

 

Staring at his messy closet, he storms his brain for what in the world he should wear. Kibum told him to dress nicely, but he was long gone before Jonghyun could even ask him to explain what «nicely» meant. So, naturally, he will have to find the perfect balance between nicely (whatever nicely is) and too nicely.

 

With that exact thought in mind, he digs for his finest black jeans—finest, because he only owns one pair. He throws it on the bed and digs back into his pile, getting his hands on his three only pairs of button-up shirts. One is of a red plaid, another white one has a stain on it, and the last white one is wrinkled.

 

Jonghyun curses himself for his bad habits, but throws away the red and stained ones nonetheless. He is not yet happy with the outcome. He needs compensation; balance.

 

The perfect idea hits him, and he is soon dressed up in his jeans and button-ups—only with a light marine blue jumper over the wrinkled piece. He stares at himself in the mirror. His clothes might be acceptable, but his hair is not.

 

He ends up spending twenty minutes on trying to do something about the disasterous mop on top of his head, at last deciding he’ll just gloss it up and part it in a not-too-nicely kind of way. He steals his dad’s derby shoes in a rush, pushing his necessities inside his pockets and almost forgets to lock the door on his way out. Praying he’ll get to the café before Kibum does, he successfully texts Angélique without stumbling over his own feet.

 

From: Jonghyun

Meet me outside in 10 mins pls

Sent: May 19, 5:47 P.M.

 

It is by luck she for once decides to be nice without asking for immediate negotiations; he sees her from the distance, eleven minutes after, and feels relieved that Kibum isn’t there in her stead.

 

«Oh, wow,» she exclaims once she sees him, grin on face. She gives a thumbs up. «Good. You did good.»

 

«Really?» Jonghyun pants out, lightly getting rid of the light dampness at his temples with his fingertips. «The hair isn’t too much, or?»

 

Angélique squints at her eyes at him, pursing her lips. «This matter is under possible discussion, since you don’t even know where you’re going. I, in my own humble opinion, think that if you ha—»

 

«Bonjour!»

 

Jonghyun gives her a look once Kibum approaches them. She cuts herself off mid-sentence, soon recovering from her brief disturbance. «It looks good, no worries,» she assures him with quick words before throwing in a «have fun!» as she heads back inside.

 

Kibum looks absolutely grand. Jonghyun’s heart jumps in his chest once he lays eyes on him, clad in handsome slacks with a pair of suspenders over a striped button-up shirt, folded at the arms and tucked into his pants. On his nose rests a pair of black Ray Bans, a clutch in his hand, and his dark hair is neatly parted in the middle. His smile is ever so charming on his pink lips.

 

«Bonjour,» utters Jonghyun at last, bereft of speech.

 

«You look striking,» Kibum remarks. «It’s nice seeing you out of your uniform for once.»

 

A beam lights up Jonghyun’s face. «You look very handsome yourself,» he returns. He is excited and nervous all at the same time; Kibum’s calm demeanour somehow affects both. «So, what exactly are your plans for the evening?»

 

There is a mischievous glint to Kibum’s eyes. «You’ll see,» he simply says, motioning for Jonghyun to follow along as he starts walking down the pavement. «I do hope you’re hungry?»

 

Jonghyun is certain that he’ll at least have an appetite once he has food before him, so he does not consider the question before replying just that. They walk comfortably through streets and crowds of people. Jonghyun gives Kibum all the praise, for his built-up nerves would most likely have brought the opposite effect had Kibum not been an awfully natural small talker.

 

Some minutes later, and Kibum halts the both of them in front of a taller building. The first floor appears to be occupied by a restaurant—and a rather expensive one, at that, Jonghyun decides. There is a red carpet from the pavement up to the gleaming glass doors, where a doorman greets incoming visitors, all of which Jonghyun can see is dressed formally. Even the building itself looks extravagant in the evening sun’s illuminations and shadows, and with the rich, colourful flower decorations outside.

 

«Is this why you told me to dress nicely?» Jonghyun asks, stupefied.

 

Appearing humoured, Kibum takes off his sunglasses and puts them inside his clutch. «Partly, yes.»

 

That is all he says before lightly touching Jonghyun’s lower back, the doorman welcoming them inside. The entryway is more of a nicely garnished lobby. Kibum seems to have been there before, as he immediately shows way to the left where they soon enter the restaurant he had seen from the outside.

 

As it turns out, Kibum has made a reservation. Jonghyun thinks he’s past his biggest astonishment when they are shown to a welcoming table for two. Kibum, being the gentleman Jonghyun should have known him to be, pulls out a chair for him. With both seated and a separate menu in front of them, Kibum looks up at him. «Say, Jonghyun, do you eat meat? I think it’s only proper I ask.»

 

Jonghyun nods. «Sure I do.»

 

«And do you drink?»

 

«Well, at occasion, yes.»

 

Kibum grins charmingly. «This is an occasion.»

 

As he says it, their assigned waiter comes by their table, polite. «Bonne après-midi, messieurs. What may I get you this lovely evening?»

 

A moment of dread runs through Jonghyun, because he is yet to look through the menu properly; he has no clue what the restaurant has to offer, much less what he wants, but Kibum speaks up before he can even open his mouth. «Two plates entrecôte marchand de vin, please,» he orders, without even opening his menu.

 

The waiter takes a quick note, nodding. «And may I recommend a red Bordeaux for your meal, messieurs? A La Dame de Montrose 2012 brings forth the flavours just superbly.»

 

«Sounds terrific,» Kibum states, his eyes bright and smiling as they peer into Jonghyun’s rather impressed ones.

 

«Have you been here before?» ponders Jonghyun once the waiter has collected their menus and taken his leave. It has definitely piqued his interest. «You didn’t even look at the menu before ordering.»

 

«Something like that,» Kibum says, pursing his lips as he absentmindedly fiddles with his clutch on the table, eyes still set on Jonghyun’s. «I’ve only found my way around places like this because of the many meetings my parents has made me go to throughout the years.»

 

He falls quiet once the waiter comes back with two glasses and the bottle of wine, classic white cloth on his forearm as he pours their glasses and respectfully leaves them be. Jonghyun watches as Kibum grabs hold of his glass, taking a whiff of the wine, lightly stirring it, before taking a small sip. «Did you like them?» he asks, correcting himself when Kibum raises his brows in question. «The meetings, I mean.»

 

«I thought they were boring at first,» Kibum admits. «I remember I didn’t want to go. But I guess with age I caught on? I started walking in my dad’s footsteps and got more and more interested in politics, both at a national and an international basis.»

 

Jonghyun nods, rapt. «So that’s what you want to work with in the future?»

 

«That’s right,» he smiles, dimples in cheeks. «I’ve wanted to engage in politics of human rights and freedom for a couple of years now.» Kibum tilts his head, tentative as he asks, «What about you? You’re not that much older than me, right?»

 

Even if Kibum is careful in his ways and tries to take lightly on the subject, Jonghyun can’t help but feel a familiar lurch in his stomach. «That has sort of always been a sore topic for me,» he finds himself saying, looking at his own thumb running up and down the bridge of his glass. «I never got any higher education, I just work for my uncle.»

 

Kibum frowns. «Does that make you feel…bad?»

 

«Kind of,» Jonghyun confesses, voice small. He suddenly feels small, too. «I always thought that working for your uncle in some small café in Paris seems awfully inferior. My sister is attending law school; it’s been her dream since she was twelve. I even took a free year after high school to figure out what I wanted, and all I came up with was to flee away from my problems and move to my dad.»

 

They both fall silent after he finishes speaking, and Jonghyun regrets it right after. The ebullient chatters around them and Kibum’s wide open eyes as he stares at him soundlessly makes him wish the ground magically opened and swallowed him whole.

 

To make matters worse, Kibum starts chuckling.

 

«Jonghyun,» he calls, an incredulous toothy smile on his face. His hand slides across the table to cover Jonghyun’s softly. Kibum looks into his eyes, serious. «I honestly don’t know you that well yet, but there is something I’ve come to know this far, and that is that you’re doing something you love doing. It doesn’t matter that you work for your uncle, or that your sister is going to law school! Look at you,» he smiles. «Having a stable job and out on a date with a pretty decent guy, I’d say myself.»

 

Chuckling, Jonghyun turns his hand underneath Kibum’s so that their palms rest against one another. «You’re more than just a decent guy, Kibum.»

 

He is about to blurt out something touchy-feely like «you’re wonderful», but the waiter saves him from the embarrassment when he serves them their meals. The warmth of Kibum’s hand disappears as he moves away to make place for the plates. «Bon appétitt,» he announces, retreating.

 

«Merci,» they reply in unison. Jonghyun isn’t sure what he had expected, though he is positive it had not been the nicely placed beef and deep red sauce with fresh colours of green and red vegetables on the side. It looks absolutely delicious, but also absolutely expensive. Kibum gives him a look from across the table, as if telling him not to even think about it. He smiles sweetly. «I hope you like it.»

 

It would be a shame if he hadn’t.

 

After their meal and after they had stealthily emptied the bottle of Bordeaux, Kibum had insisted he pay, in which Jonghyun had argued that there was no way he’d let that happen when he could pay for himself. Their agreement at last was that if Kibum paid for Jonghyun this time, Jonghyun would treat Kibum to a meal later (plus three pastries «on the house», as Kibum had called it so nicely).

 

He finds that his nerves prior to their date has been for nothing. Kibum seems to have an immediate effect on him; he makes him feel at ease, and he is equally good at speaking courteously as he is listening when others talk. To boot, his laugh is ridiculously contagious. Jonghyun guesses these are simply natural traits of a savoir faire. He is glad Kibum asked him out. Otherwise, he doesn’t think he would ever have the guts to do so himself. An actual first date like this makes him realize that would be a pity.

 

Jonghyun is expectant as Kibum brings him up to one of the remaining floors—a part of which he has not yet mentioned. Even more anticipatory did he get when they were simply granted access just because of Kibum’s name being on the receptionist’s list.

 

They stand close in the elevator, even though there is no one but an older man in a tux along with them in the spacious lift. The opening doors reveals a large locale with lots of chattering people, dressed just as formally as the ones in the restaurant. It takes only one look to the first poster greeting them to know that this is a formal event featuring peintres.

 

A slight horror strikes Jonghyun once he sees it.

 

He pulls Kibum to the side before he can walk in any further. «Um, a question,» he starts, peering into Kibum’s questioning eyes. «Meeting parents isn’t ideal for the first date, is it?»

 

«I guess that depends?» Kibum knits his brows together. «Why do you ask?»

 

«It’s just,» Jonghyun shuffles his feet, «My dad is here. You know, like one of the artists?»

 

«Your dad is an artist?» Kibum’s eyes widen. He scans the crowd around them, subtle as he speaks. «Why didn’t you…» he trails off as his eyes narrow. Jonghyun tries to see what he’s caught eyes on, but comes up empty-handed.

 

«What?» he whispers.

 

Kibum points to one of the paintings on the other side of the room, where half a dozen people are holding a conversation. «That’s my mum.»

 

«The lady with the flower brooch?» Jonghyun asks, scowling his eyes for better focus. Kibum hums the affirmative and turns to him with the most defeated look on his face. Jonghyun covers his mouth as he snorts out a laugh. «Is this even happening right now?»

 

«It appears so,» Kibum giggles. «Then it’s a good thing I didn’t bring you primarily for the art event.»

 

«You didn’t?»

 

Shaking his head, Kibum smiles. «No. I still haven’t taken you where I wanted to,» he reveals. «It’s not far, we just have to get across the room unnoticed to spare ourselves the trouble.»

 

Jonghyun nods, determined. They keep close as they move further into the room, persistently making a somewhat crooked beeline through the crowded space. Jonghyun almost crushes into Kibum’s back when he twenty feet later abruptly stops in his tracks, apparently only to sandwich his clutch under his arm and fetch two glasses of champagne from one of the waiters.

 

«Here.» He hands one of the glasses to Jonghyun, a knowing twinkle in his eyes, before grabbing Jonghyun’s free hand and proceeding towards his intended location. To Jonghyun’s surprise, they end up on one of the balconies.

 

«Whoa,» he exclaims, eyes immediately enthralled by the view of the city. The sun is in the middle of setting, casting a warm, dim light over their surroundings. Rich, red roses has grown in spiral about the balcony’s banister. Despite the substantial platform, only a small, round table and two folding chairs are placed in one corner, accompanied by a lit candle on top of the table. Jonghyun is transfixed. «It’s beautiful out here.»

 

Kibum hums beside him, sipping on his champagne. «I think so, too. The first time I came across this place during a similar event like this one, I spent half my time out here. It’s the most beautiful at this hour.»

 

Absolutely not a thing compels Jonghyun to argue against. As he is humoured by the people seeming oh so small down on the street, Kibum puts his glass and clutch on the table. «I’ll be right back,» he says, and disappears off to somewhere inside. Jonghyun croons to himself, inhaling the fresh spring air and tasting his drink. It does not take long until Kibum comes back through the open balcony doors, now holding a platter with cake and two spoons in his hand.

 

«I thought we’d share,» he announces, placing the treat on the table.

 

Jonghyun finds himself smiling as he stares at him from his spot by the banister. For one, Kibum looks awfully endearing in his big leather plateaus and suspenders. The night has been nothing but pleasant this far, Jonghyun thinks, with Kibum’s open mind and singular company. He feels lucky to have spent time with him in this way.

 

The corner of Kibum’s lips tug upwards. «I was thinking the same just now,» he says.

 

Jonghyun is mortified to find that he had said that out loud. He gets more and more flustered with each step Kibum takes towards him, and by the time they stand in front of each other, the butterflies in his stomach are fluttering. Kibum bites his lip, equally timorous, it seems, as he tentatively intertwines their hands.

 

«I enjoyed spending time with you tonight,» Kibum murmurs carefully, eyes uncertain.

 

«So does that mean you want to go out with me again?» Jonghyun ponders, hopeful.

 

Kibum is smiling, seemingly trying to suppress it by sinking his teeth back into his lip. He tilts his head to side just the slightest, looking down at their hands before meeting Jonghyun’s eyes again. He nods. «Absolutely.»

 

Feeling greedy, Jonghyun decides to rebut his usual self and be bold as he leans forward to peck Kibum on the lips. It lasts for a mere two seconds and he is soon pulling away, however, he is not allowed to do so when Kibum cups his nape and crashes their lips back together. Jonghyun sighs through his nose as Kibum deepens the kiss even further. He reaches forward to hold onto Kibum’s waist, exultant to feel his soft lips on his own for the second time. He senses Kibum smiling into the kiss, ever so infectious, Jonghyun can’t help but to grin himself.

 

It somehow ends up in a mess of clinking teeth and saliva as they end up laughing against each other’s mouths, and for the smallest of moments, Jonghyun thinks that he has never felt this happy before.