We Must Live

I Can't Help But Love You
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It was a warm and breezy spring day; the air was fresh and the sky was sunny. Throughout all the hallways and courtyards of the large campus, the sweet sound of piano gently floated, blessing all who listened and filling them with a brief moment of peace. The perfect fingers floating across the keys produced a melody so alluring that those passing by had to stop to listen, and there was only one person who had the power to do that.

Huang Zitao, a young music professor with soft dark hair and eyes that were deep like a sparkling, swirling galaxy. His lips were almost always smiling. He taught at the university with an office on the second floor of the building, with high ceilings and large open classrooms. His room had the perfect view of the courtyard, lined with cherry blossom trees, and of the front gate. Zitao practiced the piano everyday in the morning with the large floor to ceiling windows of the music hall open to let in the fresh air. He’d always had the magical ability to breathe life into any instrument he touched, but he loved the piano the most.

People came from all across the campus to stand below the building and listen and on special occasions when he’d let people into the hall, the room would be full of admirers. Anyone who listened to his music would agree that he was a piano prodigy, but there was something about his playing that always sounded just a little sad. That little touch of melancholy made his music even more gripping.

Today while he practiced, some of his students snuck in to get the best seats in the house. The group of girls all crowded around his right side and faced the window as they listened quietly to him play. When he stopped, they swarmed him with their usual chatter.

“You’re playing is as wonderful as always, Professor! “ one of the girls squealed.

“No no, you are too kind,” Zitao laughed and shook his head, “I was simply practicing.”

“My mother always compares me to you Professor,” another girl sighed, “but I’ll never be as good as you.”

“Don’t say that, your piano playing is wonderful! You have improved quite a lot this semester,” He said with an enthusiastic nod and the girl smiled.

Suddenly a knock came at the door and the girls all shushed. Zitao walked across the room quickly and opened the door for his assistant, who was outside with a tuxedo over her arm and the mail in hand. She noticed the girls behind him and sighed.

“Thank you for picking this up Amelia,” Zitao said with a smile and the girl nodded curtly.

“I see your fan club is here again,” she said and Zitao laughed sheepishly, “Make sure they leave soon so that I can start working” then she was gone out the door again.

The students all crowded around Zitao once more, peering down at what Amelia had brought. When they saw the tuxedo they all gasped.

“Are you getting married Professor ?!?” They shrieked, “To who? Who?”

“Oh no, I’m not getting married. I’m going to be attending a wedding," He said with a forced cheeriness. 

“When is the wedding?” One girl said.

“In a couple weeks,” He said, lying the tuxedo down carefully across his large white desk chair, “I’m going to be playing there”

“How cute,” they cooed. Zitao’s smile tightened.

Just as he was about to kindly ask them to leave so he could get to work, the class bell rang. All the girls gasped and ran towards the door, shouting their farewells. Zitao waved good-bye to them, his hand dropping down to his side as they slammed the office door shut. He sighed as he walked toward his desk. Everything on it was in neat order, the separate cups for pens and pencils lined up one by one and the stacks of papers all in neat piles. There were three picture frames by his computer; one picture was of him and his mother, another was a picture of him at the piano, and the last was a picture of him and his best friend.The only thing that didn’t have a proper home was the crisp white wedding invitation that was laid out by his computer mouse like a black widow on a ballet slipper. Zitao could not help but feel a growing sense of weariness dragging his shoulders down.

“Why the pouty face handsome?” Said a voice out of thin air.

Zitao let out a small squeak and jumped, completely unaware that there was someone elsein the room. When he turned around, he came face to face with one of the most gorgeous men he’d ever seen. The man standing before him had charming chocolate hair, soft, amused hazel eyes, and plump lips that were upturned into a small smile. His face was a mass of lines, chiseled jaw line, a straight nose, and horizontal brows that were well trimmed. He was dressed in a white button up shirt, blacks slacks, and a blood red leather jacket with a jet-black rose in the pocket, and he wore white gloves.

 “U-Umm, is there anything that I can help you with?” Zitao asked, taking a step back.

“Yes in fact, there is,” The man said with a smile, “You’re the one and only wonder boy Huang Zitao, piano god, musical master, angel of song, correct?”

Zitao flushed and nodded his head slightly. The man’s smile grew even wider and he took a stride forward with long nimble legs, closing the distance between them. 

“Such lovely, talented hands,” The man said, pulling Zitao’s right hand up to his lips, “I want them”

“E-Excuse me?” He stuttered, pulling his hand away and stuffing it into his pocket.

“Oh my, I forgot to introduce myself,” The man said with a chuckle before sticking out one gloved hand, “My name is Kris, I’m a demon who has been searching for a pair of hands as beautiful as yours”

“You’re a what??” Zitao stammered.

“A demon, D-E-M-O-N,” the man repeated, “And in exchange for those hands, I’ll grant you one wish”

Zitao gasped and his eyes widened. “A wish?” He repeated breathlessly.

The demon nodded, “ Anything that your little heart desires”

“Reall-“ Zitao began, but there was yet another knock at the door. He gasped and turned to Kris, urging the demon to hide somewhere. Kris slipped behind the curtains after Zitao pushed him along and Zitao ran to open the door while trying to compose himself.

“Yes?” He said breathlessly, and it was Amelia outside of the door.

“Professor, Sehun is here to see you,” she said softly, “He’s with his fiancée”

Something twinged painfully inside of Zitao’s chest and his fist tightened. A look of knowing concern fell over Amelia’s face.

“Shall I send him away?” She asked and Zitao shook his head.

“No no, send him in,” He said with a shaky breath, “It’s alright”

She gave him one last look before walking away. ZItao slowly closed the door, leaning against the wood and sighed. Why must today of all days be so crazy?

Two quick knocks came at the door. Zitao moved away and pulled the door open, and his best friend’s smiling face popped in through the doorway. Something fluttered in Zitao’s chest, but that feeling was squashed flat when he saw Sehun's fiancée at the end of his arm. He tried to put on a cheery smile for them, offering a place to sit on his white sofa by the piano and some tea and snacks. 

“Your place is as neat as always,” Sehun laughed as he looked around the large room, clapping a hand across Zitao’s back. He smiled.

“You know me, I couldn’t stand your messiness,” He teased, “How have you been?”

“Busy with last minute wedding plans, but very excited of course!” Sehun said with a happy grin, squeezing his fiancée’s hand. She smiled back up at them, and Zitao had never seen two people more in love.

Long soft hair, laughing eyes with full lashes, plump lips, soft curves, petite figure, and a left hand with a dazzling ring on it. She had everything Zitao had ever wanted.

“Thank you so much for playing at our wedding Zitao,” She said with a genuine smile, “We are forever indebted to you”

He smiled and shook his head, “There is no debt to repay, I would do anything for Sehun”

“Don’t mess up on the big day, I want everything to be perfect,” Sehun teased. Zitao laughed.

“You can count on me,” He said.

After talking for a while more, Sehun glanced down at his watch, “We only meant to make a quick visit Tao, we know you have classes to teach and such”

“No worries,” Zitao said, patting his friend’s arm, “You’re always welcome”

“Nonetheless, we’d better get going,” Sehun said before quickly hugging Zitao, “We’ll see you later then, alright buddy?”

“See you later, thanks for coming by,” Zitao said as he walked them out. Sehun’s fiancée waved good-bye and bowed her head politely. Zitao waved back and he closed the door behind them. He waited and watched them walk across the courtyard to where a car was waiting, his fingers lingering on the glass of the windowpane. There was a painful tugging in his chest that he wished would just go away.

“You’re in love with that man, aren’t you?” Kris spoke up suddenly and Zitao flinched.

“Why does that matter to you,” He said softly, his voice breaking.

Kris shrugged, “It doesn’t really”

“Then why ask? Is it that obvious?” Zitao sighed.

“I was simply curious,” Kris said, “It must be so horrific, having to play at the wedding of the man you love”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel, as long as he’s happy then I’m happy,” He said. Kris rolled his eyes. 

“You know Zitao, if you gave me your hands, I could just get rid of that fiancée of h-“ Kris began, but Zitao shook his head violently.

“Don’t,” he said, “Anything but that"

“But you’re in love with him aren’t you?” Kris said incredulously, “I thought you’d be happy to see his fiancée go?”

“Didn’t you see how happy they were together?” He said, “I could never do that for him. My love is already over”. Zitao smiled sadly.

“How tragic,” Kris drawled, but Zitao ignored him. You'll understand when you're in love, he thought. Zitao turned back to Kris, who was lying slumped across the sofa by the window.

“If you want these hands Kris, I’ll give them to you,” Zitao said, “You’ll have to wait until after the wedding however"

"I was going to quit piano after his big day anyway,” he mumbled. 

Kris almost fell from the sofa in shock.

“Why on earth would you quit? You’re a genius at it!” He cried. Kris could not believe what he was hearing. How could such talent go to waste?

Zitao shook his head, “I’m glad that so many people love my playing, but I only kept going because Sehun wanted me to,” He said quietly, “Now, I have no reason to play anymore, so if you want these hands, they’re all yours”

Kris never thought that Zitao would be willing to give up his hands so easily. To him, all of this seemed so ridiculous.

With a couple weeks until the wedding, Kris came to live with Tao. 

Before he'd approached the pianist in person, Kris had discovered him while he'd been flying overhead one evening. The sweet music piqued his curiousity, and he stayed to watch from a distance away. Judging from the richness of Tao's playing and the beauty of his looks, he had guessed that this man was some grand musician, famous worldwide and chased after by thousands of women. 

He was quite wrong, for Tao was anything but grand. 

His apartment, which wasn't very far from the school, was quite simple in design and decor. Boring almost. The walls were a light blue color which Yifan suspected had been that way when Tao had moved in. In the first room just before the entryway, there was a small piano by the window, whethered with age and use, but it gave the apartment a cozy feeling. One flower pot sat on the top, and the bench opened to reveal folders upon folders of sheet music, organized by pianist, mood, and varying degree of favoritism. There was also a TV, sofa, and bookshelf. The bookshelf held an array of books on a variety of topics from cook books to how to learn french in a week (never touched he guessed), and one shelf dedidcated to movies. Oddly enough, the majority were foreign films. 

Tao's kitchen was painted a sunny yellow and there was a table with a flower vase in the center where he sat to fill out paperwork or read a book under the bright cone shaped light hanging above it. With Kris here he cooked for one instead of two, but after a few nights Kris begged for Tao to let him take over. Tao was a bit embarrased to force a guest to do the cooking, but Kris seemed okay, happy even, with it, and he was an excellent cook. 

"Traveling the world for years has its perks," he said with a smirk. 

He was constantly reminded of Tao's simplicity the more days they spent together. He lived on a repeptitive schedule; wake up and make coffee, drive to school, teach and work at his desk, eat lunch (usually a salad with grilled chicken and tomatoes), go home, make dinner, practice a little piano or work on some papers, and then off to bed. It seemed quite dull. Kris sought to change that a little, by making dinners more lively through stories or some other silly trick. It would make Zitao laugh until his glasses would slip a little from his nose and he'd have to push them back enough. Kris wondered how this man had survived almost thirty years of living like this without dying of boredom. 

Zitao had explained that before Sehun had gotten engaged, they had spent more time together, but it was different now. He tried not to look pained for he did not want pity, but Kris knew better. 

...

“Why on earth are you working on a Sunday morning?” Kris groaned, lying on his back on the top of the grand piano. Zitao was at his desk, arranging something with his back to the sulking demon.

“I’ve got nothing better to do,” He responded, “Besides, today is the day the local children come to visit”

“Children?” Kris asked.

“Yes, the children that go to the Sunday school nearby like to come here once their lessons are over,”  Zitao explained, “They’ll be here around 1-ish”

“Wonderful, I love children,” He said sarcastically. Zitao laughed.

The children did come; the lot of them came skipping and laughing into the office with cheeky grins on their faces. Zitao greeted them with a big smile and gave inquiry about what the sisters at the church had taught today. The children all begged him to play for them, so he did. He sat the littlest one, a young boy names Charles, on his lap while the others crowded around on his left and right. Zitao first began with the nursery rhymes, the birthday song, and other tunes the children would know. Then he began to play little games, asking them to guess which note he pressed by listening. They’d get the answer correct if they were lucky. In between songs, they’d tell him about their day.

Once the children had heard enough of the piano, they urged Zitao to play other instruments for them. He led them over to the large room where all the instruments were carefully stored, and they chose which ones they wanted him to play. The boys would be mischievous and ask Zitao to play silly things like the harmonica and the triangle. The girls wanted him to play the flute. Charles always liked to listen to Zitao play the guitar. Zitao always willingly obliged, finding happiness in entertaining the children after a long day. Kris watched them from a distance, gazing at the fun. Zitao, ever the perceptive one, noticed not after long.

“Why don’t you join us Kris?” He called, and the demon shook his head violently.

“Someone like me can’t play with children,” He scoffed, “they might get hurt”

“Oh that’s silly,” Zitao said, coming over to tug Kris along, but the man jerked his hand away. A bit of his glove tugged down and he caught a glimpse of brown fur. He blinked. 

“Don’t touch me!” He seethed, and Zitao frowned.

“You’re so stubborn,” he sighed, “Do what you want”

Zitao went back to playing with the children. He took the group outside to play with a soccer ball and Kris trailed behind. They began kicking the ball back and forth in the large and open courtyard and the sound of laughter bounced off the walls of the campus. While they played, Kris stalked off to go lie under the shade of a tree nearby. It was a warm day like this when he’d gone to his first day of school, but that had been a long time ago. He could remember that day so painfully fast, the other children in the school had all laughed at his weird skin and they ran away when he couldn’t control his powers. He’d never gone back to school since.

Just as he was getting lost in thought, Charles ran up to him with a soccer ball in hand.

“Would you like to play mister?” he mumbled shyly, “You’ve been alone this whole time, so I thought you might be lonely”

“Lay off kid, play with someone your own size,” Kris scowled, “You wouldn’t want to play with someone like me”

“Let's be friends!” Charles said, passing the ball to Kris regardless of his protests, “Won't you play with me?”

Kris groaned before he gave in, passing the ball back t

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Missanion
#1
Chapter 1: This was sad and nice at the same time. Tao was just existing, not living. Playing the piano just because he could do it perfectly but didn't enjoy it. He didn't have desires or expectations from life. It is ironic that a demon saves him, saved his soul and heart. This was beautiful.
Missanion
#2
Well, the plot is interesting.
AIMRWV
#3
Chapter 1: This was such a special story. The characters were not the usual "tao and gucci" "kris the badass" "sehun the y dancer" kind of personages but really well made story characters.
I really loved every single moment. Hands down this is one of the best i read in quite a while.
Plus i love how you were writing about them dancing. It was beautifully made.
LogicError
#4
Chapter 1: Maybe it is a little cheesy here and there, but it's nice. Love is a strange thing. It's willing self sacrifice for another's sake. Glad you decided to post this story, I was glad to read it.

My only problem is that the names aren't consistent and it threw me off. I assume you just replaced your original characters with Exo members' names. It'd be good to fix that.
eh_ashlei #5
Chapter 2: I read this a long time ago. When it was just posted but never got to comment then. I just want to say that it was such a great story and it thought me lessons too. Like when Kris told Tao to live his life for himself for once and tell Sehun about his feelings. I feel like I should do the same. Even if there is no hope, even if only rejection and pain awaits, being truthful and letting out all your worries and burden is still the best thing to do because it will give you relief and peace of mind.

Lastly when Zitao said that being in love is beautiful in itself even if his was one sided. And that he will never wish to separate Sehun and the girl because they were happy together. That hit me hard. Tao in here was such a great person. I don't think I would ever have the courage to do what he did.

I am just happy that in the end he and Kris fell in love, got married and have a happy life together. I am a little sad though that Tao died but Kris will never die because he is a demon. It must be hard. He will have an infinite time on this world. Just watching people come and go.
Taohun6988 #6
Chapter 2: Omg. I don’t know what I went in expecting but my eyes being a bit misty at the end was not. I felt sorry for Tao but then happy cause he lived and found love. Thanks for sharing this beautiful work. I’m not even a Taoris shipper but this worked so well.
henni_choii #7
Oh my god I love this story
Saakura #8
Chapter 1: Just wanted to say Thank You for publishing such amazing and wonderful story
pleaseletthiswork #9
Chapter 1: That was beautiful~~~ I'm glad that Kris is able to live on and not be super depressed. It must be hard tho.
mallowme
#10
Chapter 1: This is so beautiful. Thank you for the wonderful gift writer-nim

*Ps. I noticed that there are some parts where Tao's name still says Anthony, tbh I dunno if it's just because I'm half asleep or what lol*