Yuta wouldn’t classify this as constantly staring and drooling at him, he was just casually admiring him. They were currently practicing for a showcase they would be holding soon. Yuta wasn’t part of the dance the others were practicing so he took to staring taking casual glances at a certain brunette.

Ji Hansol.

He was a tall, eccentric, y and cute boy that had captured Yuta’s attention the second he saw him. It was difficult uprooting his life in Japan to move to Korea, but Yuta was passionate about performing. Meeting Hansol was one of the main factors that helped him adjust to life in South Korea much faster. Hansol was also one of the reasons that kept him in South Korea on those lonely days where he longed to go back home. He could still remember the day he first saw Hansol.

The car ride was stuffy and Yuta felt extremely claustrophobic, but the thought of having to get out of the car was causing a feeling of suffocation. Sure he wanted to come to South Korea but it just seemed a bit scary training with boys who were not only strangers to him but also probably more talented due to longer training. Entering the building was probably one of the scariest things he has had to experience. Everything was white and the lights blinding his eyes made the whole experience feel like he had died and this was heaven. He was given a few hours to unpack and settle; after that he would be shown around and introduced to the boys. Those few hours definitely went by way too quickly for his liking. The tour of the building wasn’t too bad but he was so anxious to meet the other trainees. They were currently practicing in the dance studio and Yuta would be joining them, but only to watch and get a feel of what he would be doing in a few days’ time. Before entering the room Yuta fixed his hair, made sure his clothes looked presentable and internally screamed. The boys’ stares felt like they were burning holes into his skin and he looked down when he made eye-contact with one of them.

“This is the new trainee from Japan. He will officially start training with all of you next week.”

Yuta looked down trying to avoid what he knew would come next.

“Why don’t you introduce yourself?” There it was; the part he was dreading.

When he looked up, however, he locked eyes with what he swore was the most beautiful person he had seen in all his years of existence. Taken aback by the beauty he saw, he completely forgot about introducing himself.

“It’s okay if you aren’t that good at Korean yet, you’ll learn it soon enough and you can always ask us for help.” The boy’s voice was soft and he spoke with an accent but it succeeded in pulling Yuta out of the trance he was in.

“I’m Nakamoto Yuta,” Yuta said, mustering up all the courage he could.

The rest of the boys introduced themselves individually and Yuta learned that the boy with the accent was named Ten and the ethereal god he had laid his eyes upon was named Hansol.

“Staring and drooling over him won’t get you any closer to him,” stated Doyoung as he took a seat next to Yuta.

“I’m not staring and drooling, I’m just admiring everyone’s dance skills,” Yuta lied.

“Okay, whatever you say,” scoffed Doyoung.

Yuta doesn’t know if he is the most obvious human being ever or the rest of the boys are just a bit smart, but most of them knew of his huge crush on Hansol. He had tried his hardest to deny it at all costs in the beginning but that just succeeded in making them more curious. He made all of them swear to not tell Hansol or act obvious in front of him, because then that could potentially ruin everything and Yuta does not want that to happen. He is happy with just being able to be his friend even when he definitely wants more than just friendship.

It wasn’t easy stalking admiring Hansol. The boy was perfect and almost everything he did caused Yuta’s stomach to do thousands of flips and make his heart explode. He had grown quite close with Hansol over time, but he always froze up under the olders’ touch and looked away when they made eye-contact.

Today was no different. He would admire the way Hansol moved with passion and the way he changed into a different person when he performed. Hansol’s stage persona and how he changes during a photo-shoot is probably what is going to cause the early and untimely death of Yuta.

When Hansol performs he transforms from being slightly awkward into a y and seductive version of himself and dons a smirk that lets you know he is drop dead gorgeous. It was exactly this side of Hansol that caused Yuta’s jaw to drop to the floor and the inner fan in him to come out. Liking perfection was difficult.

Luckily his stage persona was a bit more cooled down during practice, so Yuta could stare admire without dying. Tomorrow was unfortunately going to be torture for Yuta.

They are having a photo-shoot and heaven knows that Hansol is going to not only look gorgeous but also bring out the other side of himself. Yuta doesn’t know how he has managed to survive all this time. Watching Hansol being y always made his brain feel all mushy and his heart beat increase rapidly. Hansol being cute and weird also made Yutas’ stomach do flips and never ceased to make him smile like an idiot. All in all, Hansol was making Yuta crazy, but he loved it.

“Yuta!” A scream interrupted Yuta’s train of thought again.

Yuta’s breath hitched when he looked up and into the eyes of Hansol.

“Hmm,” hummed Yuta, barely managing any sound at all.

“Are you coming with us to lunch?” asked Hansol. He had this cute way of laughing while he speaks, when something is funny.

“Yeah, Let me just go grab my things,” answered Yuta as he stood up to grab his jacket and bag.

Having a crush on Hansol is actually a bit sad. Yuta was determined at first to get to know Hansol better and become his best friend so that he could maybe have the slightest of chances, but that didn’t quite happen. Yuta was way too scared to ever do anything about his feelings towards Hansol. He will probably never do anything about his feelings because getting rejected (which he probably will) would be devastating. All he can do is dream about them being together and wish that one day maybe they could be.

The sun is setting as Yuta exits the studio. The sky looks breath-taking as shades of blue and purple mix together.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it,” Hansol says, looking up an admiring the sky as well.

Yuta can’t help but divert his attention away from the sky to instead admire Hansol’s beauty. The sunset caused an array of warm colours to illuminate Hansol’s face. He looked completely stunning with the light falling onto his face as he looked upwards.

“It’s amazing,” Yuta answers, but with a whole different thought in mind.

*****

The boys decided on having chicken for lunch, despite Doyoung’s whining that they had it the day before.

“My legs are so sore,” Ten whined as he massaged his thighs. Practice has been getting more intense lately as they were nearing their debut. This showcase would be their last and they would start their debut plans after. It was taking a toll on everyone, but they were excited to be debuting soon.

“Well at least we have a photo-shoot tomorrow so we can have a bit of a rest!” shouted Taeyong in an attempt to cheer everyone up and lighten the mood.

It must have worked a bit because everyone relaxed and indulged in the food. Yuta, on the other hand, was thankful that they would be able to take a short rest but despised that the reason for their rest was a photo-shoot. He was becoming more hopeless these days and was starting to feel pathetic for still being hopelessly attracted to a boy he could never be with.

“You need to eat before the food vanishes in front of your eyes,” whispered Ten when he noticed Yuta was just staring off into the distance.

“Yeah, I will,” sighed Yuta.

Without thinking, he picked up chopsticks and leaned over to get some food and in the process managed to cut himself.

“Ah! Fudge Popsicles! This is so painful!” shouted Yuta while doubling over in pain.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” asked Taeyong with concern written all over his face.

“I cut my arm,” mumbled Yuta while biting at his jacket to ease the pain.

Hansol stood up and ran out of the restaurant.

“Come on, lets’ go the restroom,” said Taeyong and ushered Yuta there.

“How did you manage to do this?” questioned Taeyong as he helped Yuta clean his arm.

Yuta looked down at his arm and released a warm, hearty laugh.

“I honestly don’t know how some things happen to me,” answered Yuta.

“Well then you need to look after yourself more carefully. We have our showcase coming up and you can’t be losing an arm now. Be more careful and watch what you do. Okay?” lectured Taeyong.

“Yes Dad,” answered Yuta playfully.

“I’m being serious. Look after yourself!” shouted Tayeong with a smile on his face.

“Don’t worry I will.”

The restroom door flew open and in barged Hansol, holding a plastic bag in his hands.

“Are you okay? I got some plasters, bandages, cotton, antiseptic cream and some chewy sweets you could eat so that when the cream stings it won’t hurt that much,” stammered Hansol as he held up the plastic bag and looked at his feet.

“I was wondering where you ran off too,” said Taeyong as he took the bag from Hansol.

“Well I’ll go back the table then,” said Hansol as he backed up.

“Aren’t you going to stay and hold my hand so that I don’t cry?” asked Yuta as he put his free hand to his forward and acted pained.

“I think you’re old enough to handle it yourself,” teased Hansol.

“Oh! The pain is too much,” said Yuta as he drastically threw himself backwards and continued his act of extreme agony.

“Oh no! What should we do?” shouted Hansol as he went along with the act and ran to Yuta’s side.

He walked up and put his hand on Yuta’s leg while reaching out to touch his forehead.

When Yuta felt Hansol touch his leg his brain went blank and his stomach dropped. When he felt Hansol touch his forehead, his body reacted automatically and he sprang up back into a sitting position. ‘Oh my gosh, I’m gonna die’ Yuta was mentally screaming.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay here to keep you company,” teased Hansol as he ruffled Yuta’s hair.

“Yah! Could you keep your kid still, I am trying to clean his wound here,” shouted Taeyong as he grabbed hold of Yuta’s arm.

“Ouch!” screamed Yuta when Taeyong started cleaning his cut.

Hansol grabbed some sweets from the plastic bag and shoved them in Yuta’s mouth before putting his hand on Yuta’s and letting him squeeze his hand.

******

After taking a shower and drinking a cup of tea, Yuta was finally in bed. His arm wasn’t as sore anymore and seemed to be healing just fine. Probably due to Taeyong who, of couse, had sternly insisted on cleaning his wound and bandaging it again after he had finished showering.

Turning on his side, he closed his eyes and prepared for sleep to take over him. Unfortunately that didn’t happen and instead thoughts just flooded his mind.

Why couldn’t this be like a movie? Then Hansol would have done something awfully cheesy and romantic ages ago. They would have been a happy couple that love each other and overcome hard struggles by sticking together, but it isn’t a movie. I’m stuck with Hansol as just a friend and a heart that won’t stop liking him. I never asked for this. I never asked to like him but now I can’t change it. It’s like there’s a big space in my heart and I’m waiting for Hansol to fill it but that could never happen because there is no space for me in his heart. I’m left treasuring moments such as today, where it seems that there could be a chance for me, but I always come back to reality. The sad reality that he probably doesn’t even like boys and if he did he probably wouldn’t like me. Why did he have to be so nice and attractive? If he was a jerk it would have been easier to just let go of my feelings but still admire his beauty. How am I going to survive tomorrow? He is going to drive me insane and I’m going to act like an idiot again! Why do I have to like Hansol?

Yep! Yuta was definitely in a mess.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey!

I'm sorry this chapter took so long and it's short, but here it is finally.

I hope you enjoy it. I'm not sure if it's good and will be enjoyable but I am trying to make it interesting.

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Well hope you like this story and I will try my best to update frequently.