Dressed and ready to go, I checked myself in the mirror for one last time, the weight of the small box resting in the pocket deemed heavy every second. Tonight will be the night, when I will finally propose to the one that never got away.

As I exited the room, the light from my studio was on. I entered to switch off the light but that familiar stationary and pen on the desk screams for me to write my inner most thoughts as of the moment. I haven’t done this for some time now, being busy as a music producer that is. So at this moment, I'll savor and remember his memory for one last time as if it was just like yesterday.

--------

Dear Park Jimin,

            Good day. How are you? It has been 8 years since I last saw you. Your features, I can still somehow recall them. The way how you furrow your eyebrows and the way your forehead creases while you think; the way how your smile radiates as you look at me; the way how your eyes sparkle with mischief as you tickled me; the way how your hands fits in mine. I could still recall it all even when I close my eyes and even in my dreams, you were always there.

            I can’t believe it had been that long. There had been a lot of changes that happened over the course of time. The sea where we used to have our moon walks wasn’t as beautiful as it was; the grounds where we used to spend our lazy days got lonelier; the music room where it all had started is now surrounded with deafening silence. All seemed not to be as lively as what it used to be before, until now.

            I miss you so much at times that even in the silence of my four corners of my room, your name and voice, it resonates like the big waves crashing on the shore. Your were like my personal oxygen because I can’t breathe without you, but then everyday without you here near me makes me like a fish out of water.

            Can you tell me how to forget you? Tell me what I should do. Tell me how to forget you. But then it always come back to the question, am I ready to let go of you, your memory. Yet I’m the one telling myself I shouldn’t let go, afraid of losing the precious things we shared. 

            But it always dawned on me that you wouldn’t want me to be in that wrecked state. And so I tried my hardest to do what I have been always doing, the things you said that I should do when I felt missing you. I know you’re happy in that place where you are now and that you have always had watched over me.

            Do not worry for I eventually found the happiness of my life. It was funny on how we met, like the plotted story you told me wherein I will find the one I will spend my lifetime with at a café. Yes, we met there, on how ironic he spilled my coffee over my favorite shirt; I was already pissed off that time because of work. He panicked and blushed as he faced me, apologized, handed me his extra shirt and his phone number. That kid was persistent though, because after two weeks of not contacting him, he found a way to see me. Surprising it was we work at the same company.  I only found out the reason 5months later, when I asked him for a date, as to why he panicked and blushed the first time we met, you know how dense I am. And I am happy to tell you we are getting married if he says yes, hopefully, tonight. Thank you for everything.

Until here, X.  

M.Y.G

--------------

“Min Yoongi, let’s go now! I swear we’re gonna be late again! Mom, oh gosh I meant your mom will rant on me again of how tardy we are. ” a booming voice erupted somewhere in the house. I chuckled. He always panics and uses my complete name every time it has to do with my parents. 

“Just a second love” I replied back as I placed the letter in the box along with the hundred unsent letters. This was his idea, my current partner that is. He says it is therapy and somehow he also reads them at times and complains of how I haven’t composed for him. Oh he has no idea what I have been doing at the studio for half a year now, the perfect song for my proposal tonight. And I am hopeful things will be all right.

I then looked at myself at the mirror and smiled, exited the studio turning the lights off. I then went down to where my lover was and kissed his lips. “Let’s go now baby Jungkookie.” And that got him completely relaxed, he was mumbling of how it calms him down and complimented on how we looked tonight. I smiled as I followed him out. I have finally moved on.