She tilts her head to the side, ‘Do you remember? When we used to plan our future together?’ She reminisced, looking at him smiling.

How bittersweet.

‘Yeah, all the time. What were we doing honestly.’ He jokes, smiling with his twinkling eyes. 

He turns around now, looking at her. ‘You haven’t changed a bit. Still looking so young, still always looking up to the stars.’ He points up, smiling sweet. 

‘Oh really? I never really noticed I guess.’ That was her lame reply but he laughed anyway. ‘Good to know you’ve kept up with it. It’s an endearing trait.’

She giggles. Oh how easy it was for him to make her giddy.

‘Wait. What the are we doing here again?’ The guy genuinely looks confused.

‘This was your idea! And look who hasn’t stopped swearing!’ Cue eye roll from the girl.

They were back to high school days now - bickering like this. 

‘Okay okay. Sorry. Let’s get in the car now. It’s ing cold!’ 

‘Wow. What a romantic guy. How is Kiko even marrying you?!’ Taeyeon is laughing now, in disbelief. 

Getting back into the car? Forgotten. Freezing their asses off? Yeah. They’re laughing and laughing. Why? It’s just Jiyong and Taeyeon. It’s that genuine connection. 

And she’s tearing up. She’s tearing up so hard.

‘Yah Taeyeon ah. Come here. Come here.’ He pulls her into his arms and the tears flow.

‘Oppa is sorry. I’m sorry it’s not me. I’m sorry it didn’t end with us.’ Jiyong hugs her as tight as he could. He doesn’t want the warmth to run out. He wants to keep it in the embrace forever.  

He kisses her forehead. Repeatedly. And she cries. Oh so softly. Oh so gently. 

Just like the Taeyeon he knows. The Taeyeon he will always love. The Taeyeon that he only should protect.

‘I’m sorry too Oppa. I’m sorry.’ You could feel the sadness. The tragic.

What these two didn’t realized about life was that it never goes to plan, it changes as it wishes. 

It’s finally hitting them now, hard on the face. 

Jiyong is getting married. Jiyong the playboy. The guy who couldn’t decide between a Lambo or a Bugatti. The guy who Taeyeon knew so well could never last 6 months in a relationship.

He’s getting married. In just a week in fact. 

What the are they doing now?

Rekindling the long lost love? Bull. 

Taeyeon is becoming Jiyong now. Swearing and all.

The tears flow harder. It is as though someone had punctured her heart straight down to the core and it ing hurts. It hurts and it is all wet now. Everywhere. 

‘Taengoo. Hey baby, look at me. Look at Oppa please.’ Jiyong so quickly yet so gently cups her face. It was as though he was trying to revive her back to life. His thumb gently caresses her cheeks. They wipe her tears. He breathes and looks into her eyes like its the universe. 

‘Saranghae. I have always and will always love you my sweet Taengoo. You’re my Taengoo. No one else’s. And I will always be your Jiyong.’

She’s praying for it all to be a dream. 

‘It’s so different now.’ He urges. ‘I know. But remember this. Remember the memories we had together and when you look up to the sky, to the moonlight, to the stars, remember this - that what we had was so very special. It was one of a kind. And you are so beautiful Kim Taeyeon. You deserve a real man who will give you the world and love you to the moon and back. And don’t worry Taengoo ya, I will always be here. You just have to call me up, you know that right?’

She takes a breather. ‘Is this really happening?’

‘You’re doing so well my dear. So well. Why are you crying? You don’t have to. You’ve got it all sweetheart.’

His eyes sparkling. They’re so clear, so bright. 

‘Why is he looking at me like that? Why? I’m not the one he’s getting married to.’ Taeyeon thought. 

Yes. That’s the point love. He’s not getting married to you. It’s not you that he’ll wake up to every morning. It’s not you he’ll be kissing so lovingly. It’s not you he’ll protect and love. It’s not you he’s fighting for. You will never be the mother of his children. You will never live old together.

It’s not you butterfly. It’s her. 

It’s HER.

Then and there, as she cried for her lost, with her raspy voice, she tells him, ‘I guess I always knew it was never going to be me. All those things we said when we were kids, all those things we wondered about. Well, this is one of them and this is it. This is the answer. We were never going to end up together, despite the expectation. It couldn’t have been me. I was just spouting out what I wanted to happen, wishful thinking that I’d have you and you’d have me and we’d get married and live happily ever after just like how I imagined it would be, just like how I wanted it to be, how I wanted my life to end up like. With you. You always denied that fact. I didn’t know why but you did. Maybe it was your compensation for the obvious truth, maybe you felt bad for me. But I always knew and that’s why I kept holding back, I kept that distance because in the end I knew I was just your friend. I knew it all along. I just blatantly decided that going with it, not denying it would be the best for me, like you’d change your mind about me. Wishful thinking of a girl without love from the one she actually loves. So, don’t worry that I’m crying now cause’ by tomorrow I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ll realise stuff and you know what I’ll forget about it. That’s me. That’s the friend you know.’

That was all that she wanted to say. Will this be a goodbye for them? Will it be a good one? Or will everything return to normal and life just goes on?

‘Is this the end?’ Jiyong questioned out loud. You know that dreadful feeling you get when you know something you don’t want to happen happens - well, the both of them are getting it now. 

All they could do was look into each other’s eyes for one last time. To remember every detail of each other that they loved so much. 

‘Your brown eyes. Your beautiful brown eyes.’

‘Am I really letting you go now?’

It is ending. It has ended.

They’re walking back to their own cars now.

’Hey Oppa, I’ll see you Saturday at your wedding. I wouldn’t want to miss out on that. And whatever happens after this, to the both of us, let’s just forgive and forget. And live.’ Taeyeon smiles. 

‘You too, Taeyeon-ah.’ Jiyong smiles back. 

The headlights drive by. And Taeyeon sees the Lambo.

She chuckled, ‘Well at least that didn’t change.’

You know there’s that friendship that last for years and sometimes in life it all just ends like they never knew each other, like they never told each other their deepest secrets and if you think about, they’ll most probably forget everything soon - well however you interpret soon. But surely, far less than the years of friendship. It hurts but we all move on and forget. I guess that’s the art of the human mind, a concept, a normality in which we have created. We make memories fade, we bury it under piles of new memories just to ease our pain, just to ease the reality. 

And yet, we remind ourselves, ‘Don’t forget to live.’