(A/N: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRNK-q91Vyw)

 

The hardest part was trying to live her life without one of her best friends. But it was slowly, steadily getting easier. Maybe it was her hectic schedule, or maybe it was because she had begun to fully accept it and come to terms with it. Not that she had much choice in the matter.
 

When it all went down, she was truly shocked. Never in a million years did she see this happening. This was her best friend. A reliable person that she spent more than half her life with. A person that she would no longer see face to face by choice. A face she missed everyday. That beautiful face with that bright smile.

 

I’ve collected up blue stars

I have ripped them from his belt

Up in the clear sky

Out in the black night

 

On nights like tonight, where the sky was clear and the stars were shining bright, she liked to pretend that they were looking at the same star and she would say a prayer for the friend she lost;
 

“Dear Lord, keep her safe and happy. May she never have to deal with a heart break as bad as this again.”
 

She had nothing to do for the next few hours. Part of her loved it, because it meant she could sit here and stare at the stars and think of her pretty friend. But a larger part of her hated it. Because even though thinking of her friend made her happy, she couldn’t stop the thoughts of what ifs that went through her head.
 

What if she had stood her ground more. Telling them all that the decision wasn’t fair. That her friend was allowed to do what made her happy, that she wasn’t their cash cow. But she didn’t. Of course when they had asked each girl individually, she had told them she didn’t agree with the decision. But it seemed she was one of the very few who felt that way.

 

I've wrapped them up in leaves

That I’ve gathered from our street

Here on a half hill

In light of the windmill

 

The day of her friend’s departure was the worst thing she had ever had to go through. She had to be happy with a smile on her face while she knew what she knew. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t force a smile when she knew her favorite person was hurting.

 

I’ll always burn a light for you

Of the constant kind

(Of the constant kind)

I always burn a light for you

 

She had decided during the fanmet that she would keep all her lines open. In case her friend needed her. It was wishful thinking, yes. But still, it wouldn’t hurt. And every month she decided she would send her a message saying she was sorry and that she missed her. Just to let her know she was always being thought of, maybe it would make her feel a little better but mostly so that she would know there was someone she could still talk to. But she never responded to her messages. And as the months went on, she noticed her friend stopped opening the messages. But that didn’t stop her from sending them. Even to this day.

 

I have asked the sun to sink

All the birds to cease their singing

To close up this long day

Draw blinds on it's mistakes

 

She took a deep breath and released it slowly, her hand pushing her hair behind her ear. She slowly stood up and backed away from the window. If she kept thinking about her, she might just end up make in the same state she was a year ago.
 

No, she thought, she wouldn’t.

 

I have ordered all the words

To surround you and speak in turn

The best that they dare state

The things that I can’t say

 

Her pretty friend was moving on. Her pretty friend with the pretty smile, was smiling once again. A true smile. And she was happy for her. She had even released a mini album that she had thought about purchasing. If there was one thing she could say to her pretty friend with the pretty smile and breathtaking voice, one thing above anything else it would be that she was proud of her.

 

She was so proud of her friend.

 

I’ll always burn a light for you

Of the constant kind

(Of the constant kind)

 

She entered her room and flopped down on her bed. She looked over and noticed that her roommate wasn’t back from her schedule yet.

She took her phone off her end table and opened up the kakao app. Finding her friends’ name, she sent her those exact words that she had been thinking all night;
 

“I’m happy for you. And so proud. You found your smile again. I’m sorry, and I miss you so much.”

 

I’ll always burn this light for you

 

Setting the phone back down, she took a deep breath in and released it quickly this time. Even if she didn’t open this one, just like all the others, at least she had sent it. The words were there, just waiting for her to see them one day. One day when she’s ready, she’ll see that her friend that looked just like her sister, that was her sister, never left her side.

 

Oh the city homes are all alight

And the sky has filled itself with night

I will steal these things away

For us both

 

Picking up her phone again, she decided to text her roommate to see when she would be back and if she wanted to eat anything when she saw it.

Her pretty friend had opened her message. She hadn’t responded and she probably wouldn’t. But she had seen the words that were meant for her.

A tear fell down her cheek. Her Jessica had read her message and she was happy just for that.
 

Laying down on her bed, she had forgotten about texting her roommate, and she slowly drifted off into a sleep, dreaming of the times that were meant for Yoona and Jessica.