Taeyeon

Would you love me the same?

It is a chilly night for May. The weather should be much warmer now. Well, it is warmer than the winter or else I wouldn't have worn shorts. But the wind is making me regret my decision to wear these shorts, knowing I was going to come here. It is always windy here regardless of the season.

 

But, why am I here anyway, strolling next to the river this late at night? I had just gotten back from abroad and I really should just be in my bed with a blanket over my face right now. Tiffany's at home, in bed. So, why in the world am I here at this hour? Do I expect to see someone? Am I hoping to see someone?

 

I scoff.

 

Why do I even bother? There's no point in me coming here anymore. It is forgotten. She has forgotten.

 

It really stings me in the heart thinking about what she did, what she has been doing, what she's doing. Was everything so trivial for her? Does everything we've been through mean nothing to her? Am I... so insignificant to her? Maybe that's why I came here. I need this walk to clear my head before I could put myself to sleep.

 

Things were much easier abroad. I didn't have to hear people telling me things about her left and right. But now, it's like the world is talking about her. And they are bombarding me about her. If it isn't a whisper in the elevator, it is in the comment section of my Instagram. Would people just stop reminding me that she is back? I am fully aware of that fact already. I do not need consistent reminders. I mean how would people feel if I constantly talk to them about someone who had - Never mind.

 

Why is she back anyway? And why is she talking so much about us anyway? I really hate that I had just used the word "us" to differentiate her from..."us." All of us were a part of "us" before... I don't even want to think about it. But seriously, why does she keep mentioning about...us in the news...I used that "us" word again.

 

It is getting colder. Maybe I should just go back home. I will take a nice warm bath, forget about the world, and just sleep. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do. Alright, turn around Kim Taeyeon.

 

I begin to turn my body and backtrace my footsteps from earlier. Left foot, right foot. My feet march one in front of the other. Soon, I will be back in my car and drive home. But, that isn’t what is about to happen. God damn it. Why of all people?

 

I would be lying if I said I wasn't hoping to see her here. Maybe it was why I came. But now that I see her, I take it back. I don't want to see her anymore. I don't even know what to say. Should I even say anything? It has already been almost two years since we last spoke. Should I just pretend that I don't see her and keep walking?

 

What is she doing here anyway? There's no reason for her to be here, by herself especially. Shouldn't her amazing boyfriend be escorting her everywhere now? Or I guess maybe he's home sleeping early, taking some herbal medicine, hoping his hair would magically start growing back on his oily forehead. Was that too mean of a comment to say? Oh well. I could care less.

 

"Hi," she says. An awkward smile appears on her face. I mean, if it is so awkward, she could have just kept walking without saying anything. Now I have to awkwardly have this awkward conversation with her.

 

"Hi." Did that come out too mean? Why did I do that? I should have just said hi like a normal person would. Why did I have to sound so cold and bitter? I’m not that kind of person at all.

 

"Have you been well?"

 

"Yeah. I have been well. How are you?" My tone is softer now. It kind of hurts to be having this conversation with her like this under our current circumstances. I never thought we would end up like this. Had that incident not happened, we wouldn’t be here, talking like strangers. We’d be hugging each other, walking with our arms linked, and giggling as we stroll back to an apartment that we all share. Had that incident...not happened.

 

"I am doing fine." She no longer looks awkward. I can see under the dimmed moonlight that her eyes are starting to sparkle. Is she hurting as much as I am right now? Or am I just projecting my feelings onto her?

 

"That's good," I say. I want to hug her, seeing her so vulnerable. But I can't. How can I after what she has done to us? But why does my heart pain so much right now? I should not have come here. Yet, here I am.

 

"Well. I have an early schedule the next morning. I should get going now." I speak first before she has the chance to open . I don't think I can stand here anymore. I cannot bear seeing her.

 

"Goodbye, Jessica."

 

That really did it for me. Saying that two words. It was something I never had the chance to say to her. But now that I finally have, it seems to have shattered my heart completely. Is this our official farewell greetings? Is this really the official ending of "us?"

 

I quickly turn my back to her. I can’t let her see the droplet of tears that have finally burst out from my greatest effort to keep them back.

 

Walk, Kim Taeyeon. Walk! Feet, come on. Move it! Get yourself out of here.

 

But instead of moving forward, I feel my body swinging backward towards the owner of the hand that has gripped onto my wrist. Her body is now pressed against mine and her head resting on my shoulder. She is crying and holding onto me, seeking comfort.

 

And I hug her back, with my arms wrapped around her body. I take her even closer to my heart. Maybe this is why I came here, to “our spot.” I was hoping that she hadn’t forgotten about us, the two of us. I was hoping that she hadn’t forgotten about our memories, the memories the two of us shared. Maybe she hasn’t forgotten after all. Maybe…

 

“I missed you,” she says.

 

“I missed you.”



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I am still debating on whether or not to add another chapter to this... We shall see. What do you think?
 

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BanaNacruise
73 streak #1
Chapter 2: ♥♥♥
Justanordinarysone
#2
Chapter 2: OMG THIS ;_; IF ONLY THIS HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE T^T Thank you author for the ff! I really enjoyed it :')
soshibell #3
Chapter 2: The best taeyeon - jessica fanfic that describe both girls perspective after 30/sep !!! Period. I could sense the anger and a heartwrecking condition these two souls posses and it nearly brought me to tears... But the last scene makes me smile. Ohhhh God thank you hhhuhuhuhu.
Kim_MiYeon
#4
Chapter 2: This is really good Author-shii! My taengsic feels T_T
By the way, may I know what font you used? I really like the font you used^^
MJ418309
#5
Chapter 2: omo!! this story ia daebak!! i need more author-nim. TvT
Raven9
#6
Chapter 2: Please Author I need more TaengSic in my life, I need another chapter with more TaengSic
Raven9
#7
Chapter 1: This is good!!!
taenysic3981 #8
Chapter 2: Im waiting author... *_*
skyofstars
#9
Chapter 2: "But at last, I see her, my golden sky."

Oh, my TaengSic hearteuuu :"(
It's so nice to read the story from their respective point of view. Thanks for writing this, Author! Hoping to read the next chapter--if any :)
Movie91 #10
Chapter 2: 3rd chapter please