Chapter 4
                                                                               "I'm sorry"
 

On their way back to their "camping area", the leader suddenly collapses on to the ground, which shocks the other. The younger quickly tries to wake up the now unconscious leader..sadly without any response. He checks his puls and thankfully, there's a pulse. It's weak, but it's there. Yijeong puts his hand on the leader's forhead and his other hand on his own forhead to check the other's temperature.

"Hyung, you're burning up!"
"We need to get you to a hospital!!"
...
"No..."
"No hospital.." is the only words that Kyungil quietly mumbles out before he blacks out again.

Yijeong quickly picks Kyungil up on to his back (piggy back like) and with a fast speed runs towards their camping area.

"No.."
"Stop, please..", the leader mumbles.
"What?"
"Hyung, what's wrong?", Yijeong asks, without getting any repsonse.
"It hurts.."
"Please...stop.."
"Ahjussi...no..", Kyungil quietly mumbles with a scared voice.
"Hyung...??", Yijeong utters in concern.

The younger can now see their tents, he quickly runs towards the two-person tent and screams "Do we have a first aid kit or something here?!" .. The other members, who were in the middle of trying to get the other 3-person tent up, quickly react to the sudden voice. Dokyun quickly looks through all of their things, including the stuff their manager and team had left for them. Sihyoung notices the still unconscious leader on Yijeong's back.

He asks concernedly, "What happened?!"
"I don't know. He just collapsed on to the ground and he hasn't woken up since."
"He has a very high fever and he's sweating alot..but his body is really cold."
"Can you please grab some blankets, if we have any?, the younger stressfully answers Sihyoung, while he carefully lays down the leader in the tent.

He then takes off his jacket that he was wearing and puts it over the leader's upper body. The younger continues to rub his shoulders to keep him somewhat warm. Kyungil's body keeps shivering and shaking because he's cold. After a few minutes, Sihyoung comes running in to the tent with 2 blankets.

"Here, this is all the blankets I found. They only left us one blanket per each person..so I gave Dokyun and Jaeho one each and kept one for myself, since I think we'll need them tonight. I hope that's okay.", he worringly says, while handing the blankets to Yijeong.

"Yeah, it's fine", Yijeong mumbles followed by "Do we have any clean/fresh water? If so, could you please bring some in a bowl to me and also a towel?"
"Arraseo, I'll be right back!", Sihyoung responds and then runs back to their camping supplies.
"I'm cold..", the leader quietly mumbles, while his body shivers. The leader twists and turns his body, while shivering.. making the younger anxious.

.
.
.

The sky is getting darker. The air is getting colder by the minute. Kyungil is still cold sweating and shaking.
.
Sihyoung finally comes back with some water and a towel.
"What time is it?", Yijeong concernedly asks.
"Almost 8pm, why?"
"What?!"
"How long were we out in the woods?!"
"I don't really know. I didn't exactly time you, yah' know but mabye about 2+ hours?
"Heol...really?"
"Yeah.."

"SIHYOUNG!!"
"Can you come and help us?"
"We're trying to start a fire...", Dokyun asks.
"BUT WE CLEARLY S*** AT IT! HAHAHA", outbursts the still hyper Jaeho.
"JAEHO, THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO BE FUNNY!", Dokyun yells back at Jaeho with a slight strict voice. 
"You kids...", mumbles a slightly annoyed Sihyoung.
"Think about our leader. He's not feeling well. Let's be respectful and keep our voices down. I'll be right there with yah, dumbnuts", Sihyoung answers.

"Will you be alright here?", Sihyoung concernedly asks the younger.
"Yeah, I'll be fine"
"Please, tell us if you need help and if our leader gets worse"
"Arraseoo"

Yijeong takes off the leader's shirt so his bare torso is visable. He then proceeds to drench the towell in the bowl of water, followed by twisting it at both sides to get rid of the excess water. The younger then dabs the wet towell over the leader's forhead, his cheeks, down on his neck and chest.

"Heol.."
"Our precious little leader's body looks way better upclose..", Yijeong quietly mumbles to himself, while biting his lower lip in excitement.
....
..."WHAT THE F..."
"BABOO, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF!!", Yijeong mentally slaps himself on both of his red, blushing cheeks.
"Controll yourself, gawd damnit" .. "CONCENTRATE!", he mentally yells at himself.


Yijeong proceeds to dab the wet towel on Kyungil's shoulders, arms, down to his hands. While he's dabbing the wet towel on his hand..he feels something, like a scar on the inside of his palm. The younger stops and examinates the other's hand.

"OMO!"
"What is this?", he utters in shock.
"How come I didn't know about this?"
"I wonder what caused it.."
"Why hasn't he told me about this?"
"Did it happen recently..?..no..it looks like it's been healed a long a time ago.."
"aiish...it feels like he's hiding something from us...me.."
"mabye he doesn't want anyone to know about it?... still.. I wish he would just talk to me...or someone, if there's something bothering him"

.. so many concerning thoughts are running through the younger's mind right now.

..about 1-2 hours has passed and Kyungil's body has finally stopped shivering. He's not sweating as much and his fever seems to have gone down. He's still cold though.. Yijeong covers him with both of the blankets (one of which's is Yijeong's) and he tucks him in to keep him warm. The leader is still unconscious , which worries the younger.

The clock has now turned 10:30 pm and Yijeong is slowly drifiting off to sleep. He wanted to stay up and have an eye on their leader in case something were to happen...but his eyes were not having it. A few minutes later, Yijeong had falled alseep.

Yijeong is suddenly woken about 2-3 hours later..by Kyungil, who's twisting and turning in his sleep. The blankets had somehow ended up at the leaders feet and he's now extremely cold. The now even more worried Yijeong quickly drags the blankets over Kyungil, in an attempt to make him warmer. After a few minutes of no luck..Yijeong decides to cuddle up next to Kyungil under the blankets. He, himself was still warm enough so he figured that it was the best way to solve the situtation at the time. The younger proceeds to lift up the blankets and cuddles up next to the leader, covering them both with their jackets and blankets. Yijeong places his left arm over Kyungil's waist and pulls him closer to his body as much as he can. After a good 40 minutes, the leader luckily stops shivering and his body is getting warmer. Now would be a reasonable time to release the leader from the cuddle of his life..but the younger had already fallen deeply asleep, still holding Kyungil's body close to his under the blankets.

About 5:30 am, the morning starts to arrive. The sun is starting to shine up in the bright blue sky and fluffy white clouds. Birds can be heard chirping and singing. The other members, Dokyun, Sihyoung and Jaeho are still sleeping in their tent with no signs of them waking up any time soon.

The leader is starting to slowly open his eyes. He feels something around his waist and on his shoulder. Moving his head slowly to the left to look down...he's surprised by the sudden figure "who...?" .."whaa..?" He proceeds to lift up the blankets to see someone's arm tightly but not to tight, around his waist. Sudden flashbacks of his past is seen flashing before his eyes. In shock he quickly pushes away the (to him, unknown) person. The person rolls over and hits his head on a box in the corner of the tent. As the person rolls back over to the side where Kyungil can see his face more clear..."Yijeong??!".."what?" .."how did you..?" Kyungil slowly starts to remember blacking out in the middle of the woods. He's remembering..Yijeong...helping him?.."He carried me?".."all this way??", he quietly mumbles to himself. He spots the bowl of water and the damp towel laying over it..."he didn't have to do all of this..", he concernedly thinks to himself.

Kyungil looks over at the deep sleeping Yijeong. "What's that on his forhead?", he shyly stretches his arm out towards the other's face, just about to touch the, what looks like a bruise. He suddenly  takes his arm back in shock, when the younger moves his body a little. "OMO!".."why did I have to push him away so aggressively..?", he mumbles to himself in concern.

The leader starts to get flashbacks again but this time about moments with Yijeong. Moments where he was trying to help him..but the leader was always pushing him away somehow.."I wish he would just talk to me.." .. "I just want him to know how much I actually care..about him..", Kyungil keeps hearing those sentences over and over in his head... "am I going crazy?" .. "who's voice is that?"

.
.

.
"I'm sorry, Yijeong.."
"I'm sorry for always pushing you away"
"I want to tell you so many things..about me...about us..about my past.."
"but I can't..I'm scared", the leader quietly mumbles to himself.


"I'm sorry, Yijeong", he says, not sure if the younger heard him or not, before he gets out of the tent.

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NOTE: Well, this took me longer to finish than I thought. I'm so sorry. > - < I've been so busy with work and tired af from it so I've had no energy to continue writing this, I also didn't know what df to write, haha. But I have today and tomorrow off so I'll try to write as much as I can (both on this story and my other stories). This chapter... Idek. It's not based on something that the IRL Kyungil has gone through, it's just something that popped up in my head when I was writing and I thought it'd kinda fit the story I'm going with. Y'all will hopefully understand later on with the upcoming chapters. I feel like this chapter is just a complete mess with cheesy writing but idk, I kinda like it also, lol.

Korean - English translations:

Arraseo - Okay / I understand
Heol - What the... ( it's a slang word used in expressing shock, surprise and/or sarcasm)
Ahjussi - middle-aged man
OMO - Oh My Gosh! (usually said by someone who's surprised at something/someone)


ALSO, y'all know HISTORY disbanded ish' recently?? ; ___ ; I legit cried when I read about it, no joke. I haven't done that before over a disbandment but HISTORY is a very special group to me (not just because of Kyungjeong) and my heart literally broke. I hope they will still keep in touch with each other and that they all keep on doing what they want and are passionate about. Kyungil is still in the army and all I hope is that he's happy and safe. :'c <3

Here's some cute Kyungjeong for y'all <3