New York, 2016 - 9 years later. 12:44 PM

the cold air filled his lungs as he inhaled. legendary New York, full with skyscrapers until it very difficult for him to breathe properly. steps to his apartment become heavier, it seems he drank too much wine at Max's farewell party.

, he's going to have a mega hangover in the next morning. good thing Max is a classy person or else he's pretty sure he will pick tequila shots over fancy wine. the elevator dinged and he dragged his half functioning body inside. It stops on the seventeenth floor, he turned right, room 1709 to be exact.

his body collapsed on the couch, severe headache made his breathing become heavy. god, he swore, if it wasn't because of her, he wouldn't drank anymore. suddenly the thought of her filled his mind, the muse of his anonymous poems.

kang seulgi.

every start and every end of his poems the main idea is her, always. he carried this little book everywhere, if he gets inspired by the beautiful scenery he saw from a bridge, which reminded him of her, he'll write, simply because beautiful things resemble kang seulgi. sunrise resembles kang seulgi, how she could light up the whole town from the darkness night brings, her existence alone light up his twisted adolescent soul back then.

he decided to write anonymously because he met her through it and he want to keep the bittersweet memory alive. on his spare time he do this photography thing, he wrote and the picture he took will compliment the poem. sometimes, if he's quite satisfied with his work, he, himself will send his work to a magazine. but most of the time, he feel his poem is not that worthy so his friend will sneakily send it on his behalf.

he miss her. not like he likes lying to himself daily, he noticed the bothering feeling every time he saw things he know she'll love to death. she should be here. she loves neon lights and a can of diet coke. 

they said the longing feeling inside your heart is simply beautiful, but for him, this is a total torture.

the wine had made him drowsy, he thought wine is not that strong, but it is strong enough for him to reminiscing the past with her without feeling bitter. he miss her ing a lot. how many time he needs to remind himself? 

her and him. a cliff between his stupidity and desire separated them, the desire of having her once again.

Seoul, 2016 - 9 years later. 01:10 AM

gangnam is still busy long after midnight. she loved how Seoul illuminated its beauty without explanation, like it was meant to be that beautiful and she envy that.

she sipped her coffee at an overrated coffee retail with ridiculous price, with a piece of cheesecake she swore that it's way too pricey. she texted her friends and they all agreed to come, with their plus one of course. can't blame them, it's way past midnight and going alone can be dangerous.

midnights always reminds her of him.

min yoongi.

midnight resemble min yoongi. cold, but soothing at the same time. dark but his eyes are full with stars and she saw them sparkle, she was truly, madly, deeply captivated by them. seems hard to get but once you're his, offers you endless youth. the world is never too big for them both, new york and seoul never lessen the passionate love. at those time people would think distance would be a problem, but not her.

he took her to his worst, she refused to break, but he decided it was enough, for both of them. he thought it was the best for both, but she certainly didn't think so, he was a selfish bastard and she had the right to angrily throw water to his face if they meet again. nine years and that chance never come, and she stopped waiting.

"kang seulgi! oh my god, you look hideous wearing that boots!" a light chirpy voice brought her back to reality, she looked and she stand up, opening her arms to hug her while smiling, "wendy, you never fail to break my heart." she said, smiling, and she know wendy is also smiling from ear to ear.

wendy was wriggling and seulgi know she need to free her from her teddy bear hug. a tall blonde man stand next to wendy, smiled and she hugged him too, tiptoeing due to his height, "mark, how you deal with her 24/7?" and he laughed, "she's not that bad, you deal with her since high school." he said as seulgi released herself from the hug, "she was a headache back then and i bet she's still a headache now."

irene came not too long after that. irene still have the same delicate smile like what she remembered, dark long hair, slightly wavy and her hand is intertwined with “formerly” geek high school mate whom seulgi and her gang know very well, song minho. they went to the same high school and mino helped seulgi a lot and she can't help but to laugh at her insanity back then.

"you cruel woman, seriously." mino said, his eyes emphasized how he still hold a grudge against what happened fourteen years ago, he always say the same thing every time they met and seulgi didn't blame him for that. "thanks for helping this cruel woman, good thing you didn't fall for me." mino always rejected this idea too, "no, im faithful since high school. you, on the other hand was crazily in love with me." he joked because irene will always laugh at that one. "ugh, i wish we never turn back to pick him up from the airport, just ditch him and let him rot there for fourteen years." seulgi said, earning laugh from wendy.

last but not least, joy came. she's always late, a little clumsy, tripped a bit on her way to their table, excitedly waving her hand to them while smiling. joy was always the hyperactive bunny on crack and fourteen years only make her look more mature but her insides are still the same, her five years old soul. seulgi was glad to say that joy got a man who is as playful as her, sungjae. she actually met sungjae long before he got into a relationship with joy, a small world indeed.

they chatted, the coffee shop opens twenty four hours so their loud chatters didn't bother others because the cofee shop was still busy at this time. seulgi opened the conversation, the main conversation, "so...we," seulgi glanced at her gang, "decided to go..to jeju on thursday," seulgi said slowly, waiting for a response from mark, sungjae, or the worst, mino.

"wait a minute, Thursday? that is like, five days from now??" Mark said, "yes. additional note that you guys can't come with us," wendy added, seulgi didn't fail to catch how mark's eyes widened in surprise. "wait what? no no, repeat it once again, we can't come with you?" mino said, as seulgi predicted had the worst reaction to this idea, "we need girl's hang out too you know, like you bros with beer and football," seulgi retorted back.

"but it's ridiculous! you can have pedicure with a glass of cosmo on your hand, here, at seoul."

"stop being a jerk song minho."

"you stop stealing my wife."

"it's only for four days for god's sake, you can't be dramatic about this!"

mino sighed, "fine." he grumbled and seulgi feel like winning, "but please don't do anything reckless like-"

"yes yes we understand, now zip your mouth."

"what is your major plan anyway? you come to jeju for a reason, right?" mark asked them after their laughter died down. seulgi was about to open when a tall black haired man with defined jaw line and sharp gaze entered the coffee shop. their eyes met and the corner of his lips tugs a bit, she mirrored that arrogant smirk, his trademark. 

"first, we're going to see gong minjae's art exhibition,"

seulgi rolled her eyes when sungjae turned his head to joy to ask who the hell is gong minjae and she answered it with small whisper that she could hear clearly, "i don't know, seulgi likes him,"

"and second," suddenly they heard a heavy voice, everyone turned their back while the man walked his way to seulgi's seat, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "we have an announcement to make, that's why we gather you up here." jaebum looked at seulgi and he tightens his grip on her shoulder. assuring her. she took a deep breath before continuing.

"i'm–we're getting married!"

New York, 2016. 09:21 AM

"you should write again, seriously. this is a piece of art!"

inspired, that's one word he miss a lot. he know very well that new york is breathtaking, but lately, he can't seem to write like he used to. his pen will always be on his grip but he can't. he just can't. 

yoongi sighed and pushed the magazine. "save your lecture, i'm not in the mood."

dean sipped his coffee, picking up the magazine again. "you're not sleeping very well again last night." he said, more like a statement than a question.

"max's party was lit you know,"

"it's not like you're chugging the wine. i know it's because of her, am i right?"

"which one? sarah?"

dean clicked his tongue, "not her! i know you've been wanting to come back to seoul but something keep you here. just take a month or so and finish any business you have there. i'm your boss and this is an order."

yoongi smiled, dean is a fellow korean and it become a brotherhood between them after all these years he spent at new york, "is it obvious?" dean was about to talk back when the door bell rings, yoongi opened the door and dean heard a soft gasp.

"yoongi?"

"noona?"

as soon as dean heard the noona word, he excused himself and let them alone to respect their privacy. yoongi looked at his noona with disbelief written all over his face, "what are you doing here?"

"listen yoongi—"

"if you want me to meet mom then forget it, I won't."

chaelin sighed, she know yoongi is stubborn but she can't give up, not now after long hours she spent on airplane from seoul to new york, "can you let your noona sit and give her a cup of coffee? im tired and probably jet lagged."

he grumbled but he still make her a cup of coffee, with her favorite ratio, half cup of coffee with milk and two ice cubes. he plopped on the sofa next to where she lay while closing her eyes, "how have you been holding on?" she said, softly.

"fine, without you and mom. i manage to graduate and get good job. i know you're world famous now, i saw your face on magazines. right, lee chaelin? the famous cl." chaelin sat up straight, sighing. her guts are telling her he's going to poke that topic, and she's right. explaining things slowly work the best if you want to deal with yoongi, "not one day passed without me missing you. as your noona, i love you so much, more than you ever know, and me changing my last name did not lessen the fact that you're my little brother, the one whom i shared childhood memories with. you took dad's last name, i took mom's last name. i'm not betraying anyone."

"i know where this conversation goes, at the end it always about mom right?" he looked at her sharply.

"mom live at jeju now, seoul was way too crowded and she's getting old, you know," she took an old photograph from her bag and shoved it to his coffee table, "she missed you a lot and don't you think you should stop being like this?"

yoongi inhaled deeply, "i never consider the idea of having a mom at the first place, simply because she never existed in my life. she was never there, dad on the other hand-" he choked up on the thought of his dad, his dad passed away 6 years ago, leaving him alone here, and he felt like it was his lowest point of his life. not when their parents separated, not when he can't freely call his noona again, but when he realized his dad was gone, forever.

"i know, i know." chaelin pull him into her embrace, their dad was the most kind person ever and she remembered how hard she cried when she heard the news, "i hugged you all day long, don't you remember?" 

after a really long silence, yoongi only hummed as a response while she chuckled, "you were so mad at everything. you screamed and i had to pull you into my embrace somehow, to calm you down. we ended up crying together and for the first time after twenty years or so i felt like i am really your older sister. i should be your place to lean on. so if you don't want to meet mom, it's okay. you're big enough to make your own decision." 

chaelin let him go from her embrace, yoongi looked at her as she took her hand bag and sipped her watered down coffee, "you're leaving this fast?" she smiled, "you want me to babysit you forever?" and he laughed. "not babysitting, but having brunch together." he took his car keys, "wow, you can drive? i'm beyond impressed." yoongi tossed her coat and she put it on.

"so when will you return to seoul?" he said, rummaging a stack of books. his eyes wander around, looking for his wallet, "in three days because i have schedule there?" her voice sounded unsure,  "i stay at jeju most of the time."

she strolled around his apartment room, seeing pictures of him and their father. there's ten of them, she noticed how he looked so different from picture a to picture b, more fake smiles and tiredness hidden beneath his orbs. she lifted the tenth picture, their last photo shoot. her eyes widened when a polaroid picture slipped out from the photo frame. the background was neon light that commonly seen at streets, it said "choose love", he was standing next to this pretty looking girl. they both smiled and her smile —which kinda reminds her of a teddy bear— looked very sincere. honestly, he also looked very sincere, no, in love. there's also a lovely handwriting that obviously not yoongi's, "2007, NYC. -SG"

"noona?" he called her and she immediately put the picture back. trying to look as normal as possible so he won't feel suspicious, "you looked like you just stole something." he said while opening the door for her, she looked into his eyes. something is missing, the sparks she saw from that picture is gone. chaelin forced her smile, "nothing, work called."

chaelin tried to figure out who's that girl. if she's the reason behind his happiness then is she also the reason behind his dead looking eyes?

Seoul, 2016. On the way to Gimpo airport. 10:12 AM.

"stop blasting SNSD's Gee in my car, for god's sake son seungwan you're going to kill me, stop singing and screaming at the same time!" mino complained, while the ladies on the backseat laughed their heart out, "irene, can you shut him up?"

mino grumbled, "what sin did i commit back then, oh god please forgive me, answer my prayer."

"you liked me back then, right?" seulgi , mino quickly glanced at irene who's sitting beside him and irene looked back at him, "answer it," wendy silently laugh and joy try hard to keep herself from laughing her off. "you're a mean, cruel woman. i'm a monogamous believer!" mino huffed while seulgi patted his shoulder, "it's not too late for you to admit your sin."

actually back at high school, they all have different man in their arm. seulgi and a certain poem lover she did not want to talk about, irene and bogum used to be a thing, but irene was a straight-forward woman who is totally hygienic (or neat freak) and bogum was a football player. imagine how they argue everyday about how dirty his shirt was, or how she loathe it when he hugged her after practice because he was sweaty as hell.  joy and wendy on the other hand, didn't have any interest on relationship because wendy is an independent soul and joy, she was too playful and mischievous. joy scares boys away, she prank them ruthlessly for a bet, a freaking bet for small amount of money.

seulgi smiled as the nostalgia starts to fills her mind. five of them crumpled together inside of mino's car, going to the same airport exactly like fourteen years ago but with different purpose and smaller car. mino was ridiculed by them, for her sake. they chased him to the airport right before he went to new york. seulgi and yoongi were fighting for months, they won't see each other, let alone talking about his sudden departure to another side of the world. she cried hard, for the months she wasted, those months she could have with him. they shared a passionate kiss and he gave her a tiny notebook before he left. the notebook was empty, except the last page that filled with his poem for her. promising he would come back after one full moon phase ended. did it took years for just one full moon phase to end?

last night she opened her sacred box again. that box is full with the most confidential things that surely could twist her inner soul again. this box keeps everything that related to him. his poems, or what he liked to call a messy scribbling full with exquisite words that somehow make sense. their polaroid picture, in front of times square that brightly adorned with billboards and advertisements, with his lazy writing under, "you're the brightest among them, -YG" that notebook and a letter. that damn letter still make her cry, even after fourteen years. crazy how he still have an effect on her even when he's nowhere near. crazy how he still shook her heart when she belongs to someone else.

"we arrived! seul, what's up with that face?" joy asked and she faked a smile, "no, i just remember i forget my toothbrush."

"eww, nasty!" mino said as he carried their luggage out from his trunk. seulgi eyed him and turn her back to irene.

"your husband is such a pain, you know that?"

T e a s e r s

"does she still live here?"

"maybe i'll fly there, i don't know noona."

"i freaking swear i just saw min yoongi!"

"do i need to tell seulgi? the answer is obvious, she have the right to know."

"kang seulgi—"

"you don't have any right to interfere with my life!"

"let me explain, please."

a/n: i'm going to continue my other fanfiction, but i'm still in "writer's block" phase, im sorry. also sorry for grammatical errors / typos.