Disclaimer: I don’t own DotS.

 

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Chapter 4: Capitulation

 

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Mo Yeon remained rooted under him, her eyes staring into his unblinkingly, and when she delved further into his gaze to look for any signs of deceit or trickery, she found none. Instead, all she could see from the man currently holding her captive was sincerity…and passion and something else that she couldn’t quite decipher but had her breathless at its intensity. How could he render her all weak and helpless with just a few words? Why was it that his expression and gestures and his everything stirred her heart so? Why must he continue tugging at her heartstrings when it was clear that she was not the one who held his affection?

 

This was so unfair.

 

“Should I apologize, or should I confess my feelings?”

 

He was so unfair.

 

“…So sly.”

 

Si Jin blinked at the quiet mutter coming out of the young woman, and faltered a little bit, which ended up with him loosening his clutch on her wrists. All of a sudden, the glazed look on Mo Yeon’s face vanished and her eyes hardened in resolution, as if rationality finally found its way back into her conscience and she was now pushing him away with all her might. Si Jin watched soundlessly at the way she pulled herself up and distanced herself a few spots away from him, folding her legs in front of her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

 

It wasn’t until another few minutes of silence before she craned her neck to look at him and asked softly in a mixture of both frustration and confusion.

 

“How do you expect me to answer to that?”

 

Si Jin leaned his palms against the ground to bring himself into a seating position and hesitantly turned his body to her. He didn’t know how to answer her question. He didn’t think he would reveal his feelings to her so soon. What he did was more of an impulse than anything, and perhaps it was a result of excessive restraining on his part. How many times had he wished it had been him who was at the receiving end of her smiles? How many times had he held himself back from wanting to smooth the crinkle between her brows whenever she frowned? How many times had he tried to convince himself that this feeling he had developed for her was nothing more than mere fondness?

 

How many times had he denied himself of Kang Mo Yeon?

 

“You are…”

 

He darted his gaze towards her once more, and saw the way her expression molded into one that was so bare and raw at the moment that a part of him fell for her all over again.

 

“Yoo Si Jin-ssi, you…” Mo Yeon sighed and leaned her chin against her knees. “You are very charming.”

 

He continued to look at her, attention undivided and wholly focused on her being, and he kept silent so that she could carry on what she had to say.

 

“You are charming and you are my betrothed and I should not blame myself for being attracted to you, but…” Mo Yeon shifted her gaze and gave him a subdued tilt of her lips. “But you are still a stranger to me. As much as I am to you. And our relationship…what we have is something that is built based only on a few encounters. Even then, we met disguised as different people.” She let out a humorless laugh. “How many times have we actually interacted as Kang Mo Yeon and Yoo Si Jin? None.”

 

Another sigh and she looked at him like he was a foreign creature.

 

“But somehow…I still can’t bring myself to dislike you. You are a good person and we are to be married in the future. I know that. Just…right now. I simply don’t like you…because you lied to me. Because I’m angry at you.”

 

Si Jin began. “So…”

 

“So right now…apologize.” Mo Yeon said. “I will take your apology.”

 

The air was thick with tension and his heart clenched painfully at her rejection. Was that it? Was this the end to their relationship? Would she end their engagement as well? But as much as Si Jin wanted to voice out his thoughts he knew he couldn’t, because what Lady Kang said was right, and he wondered why he was acting so selfish and impetuous in front of her.

 

“…I’m sorry.”

 

Must fate play with him in such a way? After introducing this spirited woman beside him into his life, how could he let her slip through his fingers - letting her go just like that?

 

“But I…”

 

Si Jin flickered his gaze back at her.

 

“I am sorry too. For lying at you.” This time, her face broke out into a small smile – the same, genuine smile that he always yearned she would give him ever since the first time he saw it adorning her face – and he felt his hope rising again. Maybe she was telling the truth when she said she didn’t dislike him.

 

Maybe he still had a chance with her.

 

“We both lied to each other. That can’t be helped. What’s done is done. I only wish that we can turn over a new leaf, especially if we are to spend the rest of our lives with each other.” She shifted slightly and looked down at both of her feet, the tips of her ears turning red in embarrassment at her own declaration. “We can get to know each other more from now on. Not as a servant or a merchant, but as Kang Mo Yeon and Yoo Si Jin.”

 

Si Jin knew from the twitch of his lips that he was now smiling like a simpleton from ear to ear, and he could barely contain his excitement when he poked a finger at her arm.

 

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

 

Why does he have to look so cute, like an excited child? Mo Yeon cleared and averted her eyes from his, slapping herself inwardly. Get a grip of yourself, Kang Mo Yeon.

 

“I forgive you.” She paused and chewed on her lower lip, peering at him through her eyelashes nervously. “And…you?”

 

Si Jin was practically beaming as he scooted closer to her and lowered his head. “If such a pretty woman asks for my forgiveness…of course I will grant her one.” He grinned. “And perhaps even more.”

 

The young woman could feel steam coming out of both of her ears and she was aware that she was blushing profusely right now. This was one of the reasons why he infuriated her initially. He was able to make her feel so much…so much like a girl that she had to ask herself where she had put her pride and dignity away to. He was charimastic and amiable, and coupled with that charming smile of his, Mo Yeon now knew why he had so many admirers pining after him.

 

Like that Ji Young woman.

 

The thought of her betrothed calling the name of another woman so affectionately made Mo Yeon unconsciously glower and Si Jin, who felt a sudden chill running down his spine, turned his head and was surprised to see a dark look plastered on her features.

 

“…Lady Kang? Is something the matter?”

 

Mo Yeon pursed her lips tightly and replied in a taut voice. “Nothing.”

 

Si Jin arched an eyebrow. “It isn’t nothing if it makes you take on such a scary look on your face.”

 

Mo Yeon scowled harder. “Well if my face scares you that much, then you should go back to that beautiful lover of yours.”

 

The deputy minister frowned. “…Beautiful lover?”

 

The young woman huffed and folded her hands in front of her chest, trying to look and sound as nonchalant as possible. “You don’t have to pretend. I’ve seen the two of you together. I can tell my father to end our betrothal if it makes it any easier for you and her.”

 

Si Jin moved in front of her and grabbed her arms lightly; panicking inside the moment he heard ‘end’ and ‘betrothal’ coming out of together in a sentence. “Lady Kang—“

 

“Really, Yoo Si Jin-ssi. I don’t mind. It’s just next time, you should think before you say something towards the opposite gender. Your words can be quiet misleading, you see. One would think you have an interest in me when it is as clear as the day that your heart belongs to somebody else—“

 

Si Jin wanted to shake her shoulders to stop her from babbling nonsense. “Jamkkanmanyo, what are you talking about—“

 

“Oh, I’ve heard the way you called her name with so much love and tenderness. I am not that petty of a woman to make you enter into a loveless marriage with me. I understand your situation. It’s not like you have any choice in the matter of our engagement anyways. In fact, I should be apologizing to you for dragging you into my problems. I do not mind whether or not you call her Ji Young, or Ji Young-ah, or my beloved Ji Young, because—why are you smiling at me like that?”

 

Si Jin tried to rein his laughter but failed hopelessly and he ended up letting out an amused snort, which resulted in her glaring at him. Looking at the fire in her eyes and the way her nostrils flared cutely in annoyance, Si Jin fought the rising urge within him to pinch both of her cheeks but stopped himself before he could do so.

 

How adorable.

 

“Lady Kang…are you talking about Shin Ji Young?”

 

Mo Yeon hummed offhandedly. “Aah…so her name is Shin Ji Young. A beautiful name for a beautiful lady.”

 

Si Jin smirked at her pathetic attempt in trying to hide the fact that she was bothered and tapped a finger on her forehead, causing Mo Yeon to send him another withering glare.

 

“You are cute when you are jealous.”

 

Mo Yeon scoffed and whirled her head away from him. “Che. I am not jealous. Why would I be jealous? How ridiculous.”

 

Si Jin’s grin didn’t falter and instead, he leaned in closer until their faces were only a breath’s apart. “But this doesn’t look like the face of someone who is not jealous.” He poked at her cheeks and laughed silently when she hit his arms. “And besides, you said you don’t dislike me. That means you like me.” He grinned brightly at her. “That also means you have enough motivation to feel jealous at seeing me being close with Ji Young.”

 

Mo Yeon’s scowl was back at his use of the other woman’s name. “I told you,” She clenched her fists, her voice clipped. “I do not care. I am not angry. And I am most definitely not jealous.”

 

Si Jin bit down his tongue to prevent himself from grinning like a fool. Again. “Really…Lady Kang.” He felt her tensing when his breath brushed her earlobes and he watched in satisfaction as the rush of red returned to her face. “Shin Ji Young is Seo-daesaheon’s cousin. You can say that she is a childhood friend of mine.” He shook his head. “Then again…we are not even that close and I only regard her as a sister.”

 

Si Jin saw the way the young lady blinked her eyes slowly and how the veil of hostility clouding her eyes disappeared into thin air. It was obvious that she was no longer agitated and was now pleased – such a simple woman, he chuckled again – after hearing his explanation, and a part of him wanted to smother her into a tight hug, especially at how hard she was trying to keep that cool and unconcerned look on her face when he knew just how much his words affected her.

 

Really, really adorable.

 

“Is that so.” Mo Yeon replied, seemingly detached and unperturbed. “Well, thank you for clarifying things to me, although you really don’t have to. Like I said, I am not—“

 

“You are not jealous, yes, Lady Kang I’ve heard you.” Si Jin smiled at her and his eyes crinkled at the corner. “I also know that you do not care at all that I call her as Ji Young or Ji Young-ah or my beloved Ji Young.”

 

Mo Yeon squinted her eyes at him. “Why does it sound like you are making fun of me?”

 

“Me? Making fun you of you? I would not dare.” Si Jin actually pinched her cheeks for real this time and Mo Yeon stared daggers at him. “I am just thinking about how cute you are.”

 

The lady of the Kang family hissed. “You are making fun me. Never mind. It’s my fault for bringing this up in the first place.” She gathered her chima and rose from her position, not before muttering something lowly under her breath that unfortunately got picked up by Si Jin’s super hearing. “If I had known you are this insufferable, I should have just told abeoji to let jeoha pick me as his bride.”

 

Si Jin blinked a few times as he looked at her retreating figure, and once what she had just uttered to him – unintentionally – fully sunk in, Si Jin sputtered and stood to follow her suit, shouting.

 

“Jamkkanman! Lady Kang! What is it about you and the crown prince? You can’t marry him!”

 

Unbeknownst to him, Mo Yeon snorted to herself and grinned.

 

Che. Babo.

 

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“Jwachanseong.”

 

“Kang-panseo.”

 

Both the Minister of Justice and the Left Minister appraised each other silently.

 

Kang Seung Ri took a closer look at his old friend, Han Da Bi, and mused when did things go terribly wrong between the two of them. They used to be the best of friends – their families were close, and the two of them were introduced to each other since a young age, which meant they grew up running and playing and practicing swords in each other’s yards. They were each other’s confidants. He had thought it would be almost a given that their friendship would last even after they turned into adults, but perhaps Kang Seung Ri was still naïve back then, because he now knew a lot of things could change even the noblest man.

 

Like power.

 

Wealth.

 

Or a desire for vengeance.

 

“I see you have been well.”

 

The Left Minister was the first to break the silence between them and Kang Seung Ri eyed him with guarded apprehension.

 

“I do not understand why you are against jeonha’s plan of allocating taxes in the rural villages.”

 

Han Da Bi smirked. “And I see you are still as forthright as ever. Tell me, my friend, how has your daughter been doing these days?”

 

The head of the Kang family tensed. “I think that should be none of your concern.”

 

The Left Minister gave him a mocking smile and stopped beside him. “We will see about that.” He was about to continue walking before he paused again and tilted his head. “Ah, that’s right. I heard that Mo Yeon-ie is most likely going to be chosen as seja-seoha’s princess. It seems he harbors quite a deep affection for her too.”

 

Kang Seung Ri gripped his hands tighter and frowned. What was he talking about? Did he not know that his daughter was already betrothed to the son of the Yoo clan?

 

“Perhaps a congratulation is in order.” Han Da Bi chuckled darkly. “You’ve done well, my friend.”

 

“This is a misunderstanding—“

 

“Please, Kang-panseo,” Han Da Bi raised his hand. “You are too modest.”

 

Kang Seung Ri narrowed his eyes. “Jwachanseong, what are you planning?”

 

“Let me just give you one last warning,” the Left Minister murmured in a low voice. “If you dare to cross path with me…even the memory of our old friendship will not be able to spare your or your family.”

 

The Minister of Justice gripped at the other man’s shoulder. “Don’t do things that you will regret later on. You are making a big mistake, right now.”

 

Han Da Bi sneered and shrugged his old friend’s hand off of him. “Do not tell me what is right or what is wrong. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions.”

 

“At least tell me this, then,” Kang Seung Ri bored his eyes through Han Da Bi’s own dark ones. “Are you planning on betraying our king?”

 

The older of the two gave the younger a crooked smile in response. “Opportunity knocks at the door only once.” He smirked. “You know very well what that means, don’t you?”

 

A pause.

 

“After all, we have seen the way our benevolent king took advantage of it long time ago.”

 

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Yoon Myeong Joo contemplated whether or not fate enjoyed toying with her.

 

What were the chances that she would come face to face with the last person that she wanted to see right now – or, at least, that was what she had been deluding herself into believing, because her heart knew just how much she yearned for the presence of this man in front of her – as she was on her way to visit her father in his quarters. It should be close to none, especially since Myeong Joo remembered that his office was on the other side of the palace, and it was highly unlikely for them to meet like this in the inner palace.

 

He shouldn’t be here.

 

They shouldn’t have met each other.

 

But here they were.

 

“Are you going to just stare at me?” Myeong Joo asked impassively, trying her best to keep her voice from trembling. “Are you not going to even acknowledge my existence, now?”

 

The man bowed politely. “Gongju-mama.”

 

Yoon Myeong Joo smiled bitterly, her eyes skimmed over his appearance – ever so undisturbed and unflappable – and she puffed out a dull laugh. “And you only do so when I told you to.”

 

“My deepest apologies if I offended you with my lack of tact.” He answered curtly.

 

Myeong Joo clenched her hands into fists. “...Are you going to run away again?”

 

Seo Dae Young lifted his head and stared straight at her. “It has never been my intention to avoid you.”

 

The princess felt herself exhaling a tired breath. “Just as it has to never been your intention to acknowledge my feelings.” She forced out a smile, and it took a lot of effort for her to do so because her inside was screaming and crying and begging her to flee from this unplanned battle, because she was still too weak to do this, because she would crumble any time soon. “Tell me, Seo-daesaheon. Do you know that I love you?”

 

The inspector general’s face remained unchanged save for that slight flicker in his eyes. It was then that Myeong Joo understood that no matter how much she poured out her heart to him, no matter how much she pleaded and yelled and shouted at him – no matter what her words were, they were never going to go pass through that wall of defense that he had built around himself. It was a wishful thinking on her part. She was too much of an idiot to even consider the possibility of them going back to how they were last year.

 

“Fine, you don’t have to answer me.” She sighed, drained and tired and all beat up from the useless attacks she had been throwing at him. But then her father’s words entered her mind and she was reminded that she could still have a chance at happiness. That she could somehow convince Seo Dae Young into accepting her. That perhaps, he still had a small amount of affection left for her.

 

“I am going to stop forcing my feelings onto you,” She started quietly, scanning her eyes at him and discreetly trying to see whether her admission had any effect on him. And she rejoiced inside when this time, she saw more than just a flicker of his eyes – they had darkened, maybe in frustration? Disappointment? Myeong Joo didn’t know, but her heart was soaring in happiness at the slightest response from him.

 

She knew him more than he knew himself.

 

She knew that a twitch on his eyebrow meant he was bothered by something.

 

She knew that when his thumb rested on the bottom of his sword meant that he was angry and ready to retaliate.

 

Seo Dae Young being angry meant that he cared.

 

And to Myeong Joo, that was enough for her not to give up on him.

 

“I still love you…”

 

Her voice cracked somewhat at the end, and she pierced her gaze at him, wanting him to see just much she cared about him – just how much she suffered because of him – and that every time he looked at her like she was something to be avoided, a part of her broke a little. “I still love you. So, very much and I don’t think I can stop it. But I will try…to stop myself from bothering you with it. That is why, please…” She tugged at his sleeve and breathed shakily. “Please, don’t ignore me. Don’t treat me like I don’t exist. Let me hear your voice. Let me stay by your side.” She looked up to him, clogged up with a rush of emotions when she noticed that the corner of his eyes were red – and were those tears that she saw b in them? – and she whispered.

 

“That’s all that I ask from you.”

 

She could feel him crossing their fingers together, and his hands were still the same hands that she was used to holding. The same fingertips, rough with callouses from practicing swords every single day. The same wide palm, warm and gentle as it enclosed hers in a protective envelope.

 

Clearly he was still her old Seo Dae Young, but how could he be different at the same time?

 

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“Your hands are so rough.”

 

He raised his eyebrow. “But you are nuzzling your face into them right now.”

 

“I know,” she smiled so brightly (so beautifully) that he could not resist the urge to tuck a non-existing strand to the back of her ear. “Because they are warm. And they belong to you.”

 

He smiled back at her.

 

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“You treat other girls so warmly…but what about me?” She voiced out hoarsely.

 

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“Oomph.”

 

Myeong Joo almost fell flat on her face if not for Dae Young who circled his arm around her front and brought her back to her feet. She smiled sheepishly at him and he rolled his eyes in amusement, pulling her into a hug as he pat