It’s been two years since Nayeon had first set foot in Big Hit Entertainment. Call her impulsive, but when the night Bangtan Boys performed in the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, Nayeon knew right then what her real dream was.

She wants to produce music.

Especially for these boys.

Nayeon had thought about this over and over. Does she really love music, or is she only deluded by the idea of being able to work with Bangtan in the future? After that breath-taking concert, she took a break. Nayeon stopped listening to the usual artist she runs to, especially Bangtan Boys. She threw her earplugs away and explored the different facets of creativity. She went back to drawing, painting—and even sculpting clay. It had been an enlightening experience for Nayeon, but as time passed by, she found herself going back to where she was before. It started with novels, and then short stories, to flash fictions, then poems, and finally, lyrics.

After a three-month of break from music, she still came back.

Nayeon came back changed, because she found herself more certain, more confident about the decision she made.

Three months after that fateful night in the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, Big Hit Entertainment posted a search for new producers and song-writers.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Can I do it?

BangPD sat in front of her, his flabby arms crossed over his chest. He had lost weight, and his face showed the few lines of aging two years more can do to an Asian man—it didn’t show much. He seemed as amicable as he was before, and as he sat there with his hooded eyes smiling back at her with confidence, Nayeon couldn’t help but feel empowered—and nostalgic as well. He wore an orange collared shirt which reminded her of that ‘hidden camera’ stint in that 4 Things Show by Channel M. They had practically pranked Namjoon’s . Nayeon skimmed the room with her eyes, thinking that maybe BangPD is trying to pull a prank from her, too.

No hidden camera was found.

She took a deep breath and glanced back at BangPD. In those two years Nayeon worked in BigHit, there were times when she had disappointed her co-producers and herself as well. Still, as she went through all those tough times, his faith didn’t waver. BangPD kept a place for her in the company; he truly believed in her talent.

Some of the tracks she had produced the past two years made it to David Oh’s comeback album, one of it became Homme’s single, and others were counted into the new girl group’s album. They didn’t exactly kill the charts, but the fact that the fans recognized them, appreciated to the point that some netizens said it should have been the title track—Nayeon felt a sense of pride for herself.

As for now, Bangtan is having a comeback in a years’ time, and BangPD wants her to work with them. She heaves another sigh. For two years. This had been her dream for two years. Nayeon was once nothing but a college student who didn’t like the particular course she was taking and a fan who couldn’t afford to attend fan signings. She was that, a Bangtan trash who took every letter-project available to the heart. And now, BangPD, THE BANGPD HIMSELF, is asking her to work with Bangtan for a comeback.

Nayeon might as well faint in her seat.

“Bangtan mostly produces wild music. Some may be emotional, but they are dark. Bangtan Boys aren’t boys now. I want to bring something more mature to the fans, and more refreshing. I think your style would influence them well; add soul to their lyrics.” He shifted in his seat and crossed he arms once more, this time, the left arm folded over the right. And then he added, “I think you’re the perfect person for this new album. That is, if you’d accept this offer.”

Nayeon likes Bangtan music as it is, and they’ve only gotten better over the years. Honestly, Nayeon doesn’t know if she would be of any help at all. But this is, after all, is her dream. This isn’t the first time BangPD told her about it either. He had been half-joking around her about it for the last ten months. Well, it’s about time BangPD turns those jokes into a real project.

“So, are you in?”

Nayeon pursed her lips. Rubbing her palms against her tattered jeans, she gave him a bashful smile. “I’m not exactly sure about how could I be of any help at all—”

The man chuckled. “Nayeon,” he called with care and tenderness just as how he calls the name of his very own daughter, “I wouldn’t be asking you I knew you couldn’t.”

This time, Nayeon truly smiled and thanked the PD for his trust in her skills. After a few minutes of further discussion, the PD dismissed her with an invitation.

“Join us at dinner later. I’ll break the news to the boys.”

X

Once, Nayeon saw these men performing on stage. It was entrancing, energizing—very powerful. When Nayeon started working in BigHit, she’d see some of the members every now and then, but those meetings were abrupt. Sometimes, an exchange of greetings would be given—nothing more and nothing less. However, there was one member Nayeon saw the most often: Namjoon.

Nayeon isn’t a stalker, or so she’d like to think. She respects his privacy. All she does is watch him from a safe distance. And every time the opportunity presents itself, she makes sure to grab it like it’s the last. Thus, whenever she catches Namjoon recording, Nayeon takes the time to stop and watch for a moment. She loves seeing him focused on work for it drives her to give her best as well. She loves seeing those brows furrow with dedication as he reads—or raps—the lyrics. It reminds her of how driven he is to achieve his dreams. She loves seeing him, this Kim Namjoon, the Namjoon that inspired her to write all those songs for the past years, to write all those fan letters—

she wondered if those letters had reached him at all.

Nayeon is a song writer, but before that, she was once just a fan. Being able to sit down on the same dinner table with them, the Bangtan Boys, is just surreal for Nayeon.

Hoseok was very accommodating. Of all the members, he was the first one whom Nayeon became comfortable with. Jungkook came next because of their close age, and then Taehyung for his energy and weirdness. But through all the days of lyric writing, composing, and recording, she started to form stronger bonds with Yoongi and Namjoon. It’s not exactly a surprise since, as Taehyung once said; their minds work almost exactly the same. Nayeon didn’t have a hard time at dealing with them since most of her friends from childhood through college are of the male gender. Bangtan welcomed her like a new family member.

She was so honoured, so happy to be living this life.

At first, she worked in a generic studio room where she had been working from the start. But as soon as things started to come together, Nayeon mostly came in Namjoon’s workroom. It was easier that way. Sometimes, they come over Yoongi’s, but he hates how Namjoon manages to mess his studio up in a few hours of stay. Namjoon’s workroom became the ‘headquarters’ through unanimous decision.

With the pressure of doing Bangtan good, and the challenges of merging two different music styles, there are times when things just don’t work well with Nayeon. It’s either their lyrics just wouldn’t suffice, or the disagreement in whose beat to use, or whose rhythm to follow. Working with three brains, and five more, sometimes isn’t the best thing. When these things pile up on her shoulders, Nayeon denies sleeping—or even leaving Namjoon’s workroom itself. At some nights, the boys leave her for rest, and then Yoongi catches her in the morning, working with what they had left her the night before.

“Aren’t you being a little too hard on yourself?”

“Yoongi-sunbae,” she said groggily as he felt his small hands on her shoulder.

“Oppa,” he corrected. “I told you I prefer oppa.” Before Nayeon could even think of a response, Yoongi convinced her to take a rest. Nayeon closed the Cubase 5.0 before standing up, and he saw three new copies of the track they had been working on the past three days saved on the desktop. Yoongi could remember very well that those tracks weren’t there before they left last night. No wonder BangPD believes in her so much. “I’ll pick up from here,” he told her with a small smile. “Thank you for the hard work.”

“I’ll be leaving then,” Nayeon bid heavily. “Thank you, oppa.”

Nayeon is small, standing 150cm at best. She has curves on the right places and round hazel eyes which were cradled by dark circles underneath. Nayeon rubbed her eyes as she stepped out of the room and opened them a little too late to avoid slamming straight into a broad chest of a towering man.

A rough voice grunted, and then spoke. “Oh, Nayeon.”

Surprised, she started scrambling her sleepless brain for apology before even looking up. “I-I’m sorry, I was really sleepy I didn’t—”

“It’s fine,” Namjoon said, stopping her from stuttering her apologies. His voice was rough like he had just woken up as well. “Go catch some rest.”

Nayeon gave a nod, a nod small enough to denote the casualness that grew between her and Bangtan, and at the same time, a nod that was deep enough to (unknowingly for her) avoid Namjoon’s attempt of resting a hand on top of her head. Tired, she walked past him right after the nod, not even noticing how Namjoon followed her with his eyes for a moment.

Though still sleepy, none of it escaped Hoseok’s eyes.

Hoseok followed behind Namjoon, and Nayeon gave a nod before treading her way back home for a couple hours of sleep.

X

Nothing escaped Hoseok’s eyes and ears since then.

Nayeon would drop by in the morning with a cup of hot coffee for everyone. Namjoon accepted the drink without any comment, but as soon as she heard from Jungkook that the hyung preferred cold drinks, Nayeon took note and bought canned coffee for Namjoon since then.

Nayeon is naturally caring. Whenever she has the time to sit down with during meals, she instantly becomes a doting mother to everyone, ensuring that each of them gets a meal proportionate to what is suggested by the food pyramid—especially Namjoon.

When members bid her good-bye for a break, Nayeon doesn’t forget to say reminders such as Take care! or Get enough rest, okay? (although it seemed impossible for an idol). But when it’s Namjoon who’s about to leave…

“Be back in an hour, okay?” She’d laugh lightly. “I’m just kidding.”

“The weather’s bad, I have an umbrella if you need one.”

“Your phone is on the top shelf in case you forgot.”

“Be careful!”

These actions of Nayeon are subtly reciprocated in ways Namjoon could.

Namjoon love taking aimless walks when the four walls of his workroom is too constricting for new ideas. He donned a simple yet strikingly modern and fashionable ensemble (because anything he wears becomes instantly fashionable). He’d let the right people know and then set off, basking in the outside environ long enough before fans start following him. He came out the company building alone, but Namjoon came back with Nayeon, and she was wearing the cap he wore outside.

When it’s time to leave for a break or for a scheduled activity, Nayeon is of course, left at the studio. And this elicits questions and statements from Namjoon such as,

“Will you be okay by yourself?”

“Don’t you get tired at all?”

“Call me when something comes up, alright?”

“And don’t get too crazy with the PC.”

When Nayeon passed by the recording booth once, she couldn’t help but stop and watch as she noticed it was Namjoon who is recording behind the mic. Nayeon stood on her spot, watching the man in a safe distance through the glass walls when Hoseok came by and saw what’s happening.

He crept behind her and playfully whispered, “Namjoon-hyung would melt if you keep watching him like that.”

Nayeon is usually calm around the boys. She had adopted a “chill” personality around the male gender through her experience for the past years, so it’s not always that they find Nayeon being bashful. Hoseok might as well be the first one to see.

“Aigoo~ Your cheeks are so red!” Hoseok run on place while giggling and flailing his arms like he could feel the chills for himself.

“It’s not!” Nayeon screamed a pitch too high, and her voice cracked. This made Hoseok laugh even harder. Nayeon threatened to kick his leg, or maybe a little higher, perhaps the shin? So he ran away, hands still flailing, his own face red for the fit of giggles he just had.

Nayeon sighed and went back to watching Namjoon work. Just then, as she turned her eyes back to him, Namjoon met her gaze and his eyes were glinting with light and his yet again grey-ash hair was perfect and his cheeks seemed to glow and his lips are so plump and so glossy and so ravishingly pink as he gave a soft smile. Nayeon returned the gesture with a closed fist in the air and mouthed fighting! before leaving with a face so red it’s purple.

At times, when Yoongi and Hoseok had done their part, Namjoon and Nayeon would be left working in the former’s studio. None of the two boys dare to come back in the room as soon as the realization hits them. The Hoseok and Yoongi\ would exchange glances and conspiratorially leave without uttering another word. But Jungkook once dared to come in the workroom since it wasn’t always when he finds the confidence to submit his own lyrics, and he didn’t know it until he opened the door.

Jungkook was welcomed by a silhouette of two close figures, the light of the monitor behind them emanating rays—“The image was breath-taking I should have snapped a shot,” he spilled to Taehyung when they trained in the gym the next morning. There he was, Kim Namjoon, the strong leader he had known, leaning against Nayeon’s bosom, her arms laced around his broad shoulders as if he’s the most fragile being she had ever seen.

Namjoon was facing the screen, feeling so at home, so comfortable and safe in Nayeon’s arms as her sweet vanilla scent wafted up to his nose. He smiles at this intimacy, at the music her wildly hammering heart is singing to his ears. He loves how her arms awkwardly rested around his shoulders, how one hand held his back gently, and how other hand played with his hair. Nayeon, however, felt a pair of eyes watching them and she turned to Jungkook with a face so red and a stricken expression.

Jungkook dropped his paper on the floor. He crouched to pick it up along with his jaw, grins, gives Nayeon a small nod and leaves silently.

The attention Nayeon devotes to Namjoon, the extra ounce of care Namjoon gives Nayeon—it was very subtle, natural, and heartfelt. At first glance, everyone would think they are just two close friends who truly care for each other—and they are. But Bangtan knew better. Taehyung. Jungkook, and Jimin started to notice things, and compared to the other members, they weren’t exactly silent about what they see. They started addressing the two as ‘eomma’ and ‘appa’— until a not-so-obviously-flustered Namjoon calls them out of it.

Yoongi slumped on the couch as soon as the practice ended and Jimin, the choreographer of the dance break in the song they had composed with Nayeon, laid down in the same couch, resting his head on Yoongi’s lap. Jimin nudged his hyung, his face stretched with a big grin, and pointed at the far side of the room. Yoongi followed where Jimin pointed and he shook his head, a corner of his lip tugging up to a smile. Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok took selcas by the practice room’s mirror, although they’re not exactly taking photos of themselves but more of the reflection of the man and the woman busily chatting with each other at the back. Seokjin silently observed every member, including their leader who sat on one side, slipping into a separate bubble with Nayeon after she had passed around snacks and tonic drinks to the members. They are obviously attracted to one another, and they complement each other well, Seokjin muses.

He started to pick the two apart, mentally listing the similarities and differences Namjoon and Nayeon has. Namjoon thinks deeply, while Nayeon thinks broadly. Namjoon is sensitive, while Nayeon is enduring. Both are very simple when it comes to clothing, but in a sense expressive as well. Another point of similarity, of course, would be music and writing. While Namjoon writes about cuts and wounds, Nayeon writes about light and healing. Their music styles, however, both shared a cloud of melancholy.

Namjoon could be literally a mess. He lives things lying around, while Nayeon is impulsively neat. She picks up even the smallest things on the floor as she passes by, rearranges things on the table, and stacks items on the shelves properly like it’s an activity that didn’t require much thinking and energy. It’s Nayeon’s second nature, much to the point that it became a thing for Bangtan to ask Nayeon first if she had seen something they lost, and most of the time, she knows where she found it and where she replaced it.

This tendency of Namjoon to leave things unorganized and Nayeon’s impulsive cleaning is probably what caused them problems.

With the new album finally coming together, Nayeon could slack back a little on writing and composing, but she got bored, and so she started picking through the company PCs. BangPD personally favoured this since before Nayeon became their song-writer, she was a college student taking up Electric and Communications Engineering (just to impress her father). Meaning, he’s confident that she knows her way around the DAWs, and of course, the basic maintenance of a good PC.

Unfortunately for Namjoon, and Nayeon as well, the former didn’t hear about this skillset of hers. Nayeon didn’t talk about it either, having felt that saying so may not be needed. Namjoon and Yoongi we’re working on the new album’s outro track when they left Namjoon’s workspace to Nayeon’s care.

“Don’t get too crazy with the PC, okay?” Namjoon said, ruffling Nayeon’s hair before standing up from his leather chair. To him, it was a reminder for Nayeon to calm down and take her time. There’s no need to rush on making the track. It was also a reminder for her to be a little careful with the folders she opens, for she might stumble on something she’d rather not see. “And get yourself some sleep,” he added before disappearing behind the door.

The next morning, the PC was good as new.

Perhaps, too new to be good for Namjoon.

He came to the work room, half expecting Nayeon to be there on his leather seat as he became accustomed to seeing her tired face in the morning. He likes it better when he’s welcomed by a sleeping Nayeon in his workroom. He likes watching her sleep. He likes looking at her long lashes with her eyes closed, and her soft cheeks that are so enticing to touch and her nose that is slightly upturned and her hair that falls on the right places and her lips that are so plump and red with the lipstick she wears. That morning though, he didn’t see Nayeon. Not even a note from her. She used to leave one to indicate the changes she made with the tracks, where did she save the sound tracks, and the lyric ideas she had over night.

There was nothing.

Even the PC was so clean it had literally nothing—nothing!

Namjoon blanched.

He couldn’t believe what he saw. His DAW is now less of a Digital Audio Workspace and more of a regular, newly-bought Personal Computer. The software, the files—damn it, the files! All gone over the night just like that. A cold shiver ran down his spine. His forehead and the nape of his neck were dotted with large beads of cold sweat. Namjoon started to bite his nails. All those hard work, the sleepless nights, the draining efforts of coming up with one song. He couldn’t believe it. It was the most awful nightmare he could ever have.

But it’s not a night mare. It’s real.

The PC held nothing but the most basic of software, a new antivirus and nothing else. Bangtan Boys is back to zero. No comeback will happen next month because the files disappeared over night? And he hadn’t made a back-up even yet? How is he supposed to tell BangPD-nim such stupidity?

Then again, it wasn’t Namjoon who did it. So who?

The door creaked as it opened and Namjoon turned to see Nayeon walk in with a rucksack and two cold canned coffees. She was about to greet Namjoon Good Morning! when—

“What the hell did you do?!”

Nayeon blinked. It was too early for a raging lion, and going over what he said, Namjoon is angry because of her. hangs open, words failing her as of the moment.

Namjooned screamed the questions on the top of his lungs, “The files? Where did the files go?”

She looked up at him with wide eyes and her hands are starting to shake. Her heart jumped up to out of fright as she tried to speak up, “Namjoon—”

“All those soundtracks, Nayeon!” He run a hand through his hair, frustrated at the idea of how a year of work went to waste “We worked hard for all of it. I left you last night in my studio. I told you not to get too crazy with the PC! Now where did all our hard work go? It’s all down the ing drain!”

Nayeon looked down at her hands. They are still insanely shaking. She hates it. She wanted to stop them so she could find the words and speak up. Nayeon did nothing wrong. She could explain fully well what happened to the PC, but his sudden outburst is too much of a surprise for her. Her brain is still frozen in shock.

“Joon, what’s the problem here?” Yoongi asked with a low voice, his eyes squinting at the seething leader. He turned his attention to the woman who was stoned on her spot. “Nayeon, what’s wrong?”

It was a bad prompt.

“’What’s wrong?’ you ask.” Namjoon scoffed before launching into screaming Yoongi his side of it. Apparently, Namjoon was dead-scared about how clean the PC is, and who wouldn’t be? Last night, he was polishing the outro for the album they are going to release in a month and now, the PC might as well shine like a freshly waxed floor. Were Yoongi to wake up in such a sight, he might faint back to sleep and never wake again.

And how was Nayeon involved in all of that? Simple. Namjoon left the DAW—his DAW—to Nayeon last night. “Said she’d give the track a little of her touch, and maybe fix the PC a little. What a ing fix did it get?”

Yoongi heard feet scrambling toward them and soon, Seokjin and Hoseok are on the doorway as well, with Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook following behind. He glanced back at Nayeon who stood firmly on her ground. Her fist were clenched and bobbed in a patterns, as if she’s trying to get her words out but couldn’t. Yoongi decided to talk to Nayeon for the moment while Hoseok and Seokjin led Namjoon out of the room, trying their best to tame the raging lion.