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When will I ever get to see a real Jeon Jungkook?

I shrugged.

"Not in a million years my dear." I answered to myself while staring at his standee in front of me.

Geez. I have been staring at his standee for 10 minutes now wishing that it would suddenly became the real one. Smh for myself.

"Gosh, I think I'm going crazy." I whispered to myself.

This is bad. Real bad.

I stretched every inch of my body and jogged around the standee, thank God this convenience store near the Han River is always blessing me with a Jungkook standee. At least I see him face to face except he's just standing and not talking and not moving--- oh Nana stop it will you!

I stopped jogging around the standee cause I look stupid and it's already 2 am in the morning and it looks so creepy tss. So let's just go jog around the river and then go home.

"When will Nana get to see Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook." I sang freely while feeling the fresh air in Han River.

I do this any other day when I feel like it. It's cool to be honest since it feels like a healing treatment for me when I'm stressed.

"When will Nana get to see Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. " I sang again while jogging

I swear to God, my love for Jungkook is beyond what I thought I could love him. Do you get what I am saying? I mean yes I'm a fangirl but I badly want to see him up close and tell him how much I love him so much and how much I'm proud of him. But how can I do that, I can't even afford to go to fan meetings and concert due to financial problems. Phew

"When will Nana get to see---"

I stopped jogging for a sec and went close to the river. It's 2 am and there's only 5-10 people here so might as well shout my feelings? Oh well

"JEON JUNGKOOK!" I suddenly shouted and yes it echoed

People won't despise me because of this, would they?

Nah, but who cares?

"HOW DARE YOU SLAY MY HEART SO EASILY WHEN I CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU IN PERSON AND YOU EVEN DON'T KNOW I EXISTED?!" I shouted again. And wow that was deep.

"IT ANGERS ME THAT I WANT TO FORGET ABOUT STANNING YOU BUT YOU'RE JUST TOO CUTE TOO HANDSOME TOO GOLDEN TO NOT BE LOVED!"

Eww. Am I really confessing my feelings right now.

"SO CLOSE YET SO FAR. HOW COULD I EVER TELL YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF CRISIS?!" 
I paused for a minute and took a deep breath. Gosh, I didn't know I can shout like that.

Inhale. Exhale.

"You did a good job right there, Nana." I said to myself and smiled.

Now, I feel better. At least I can tell the world how I feel for Jungkook but it kills me cause he would never knew.

"You really like Jungkook?"

I turned my back to the person who suddenly talked behind me. He was wearing a gray hoodie and a black masked. I guess he's into jogging at dawn too.

"Yeah, he's someone precious to me." I replied and smiled.

"But he's an idol. He's out of reach. It would just hurt you." He said again.

What is he doing? He's making a conversation yet he slaps the reality to my face that I can't have Jungkook? Oh my gosh, is he kidding me?

I sighed.

"He's an idol and tons of girls like me feels the same way about him. But I don't know, there's this feeling inside that can't resist him and just wants to love and support him even if until the end he'll never know that I existed in this world. And all fans know that." I said and smiled lightly.

Oh God. Here I go again being emo about Jungkook and how I'm just a fan.

I saw the guy's eye smile! It's kinda dark to where we stand but I seriously saw him smiling. What the hell? Is he enjoying me being emo and sad about me just being a fan?!

"What's so special about thay Jeon Jungkook? I can't really see why people call him the golden maknae of Bangtan Sonyeondan."

My jaw literally dropped when he asked me that question. Seriously, I want to slap every hard work Jungkook ever did just to be where he is now. How dare him question Jungkook being the golden maknae!

"He's special alright! He's golden because he can't just sing, rap, act or good at sports but he has a heart! He care and love his hyungs so much and his parents too. He's so thoughtful and generous and makes armys so happy. And you would never see someone who is talented as him but is still humble. He's shy af and cute! And many more! He means the world to me and don't you dare ask another question because this conversation is over." I answered pissed.

I bowed my head as a sign of respect to him. Look at me being respectful to someone questioning me out of the blue.

"It's nice talking to you." I sarcastically said and turned away.

Gosh, I should let my stress out but stress is burning up on me!

However while I was walking away, he suddenly sang Save Me. I stopped and froze when I realize that the voice is so familiar.

Wait.

"Geu soneul naemireojwo save me save me."

I slowly looked back to the guy who was talking to me and even singing Save Me behind my back. Oh no don't tell me---

" I need your love before I fall, fall." he sang and smiled

My jaw literally dropped when the lamp post shined to his faced. He's not wearing a face mask anymore and he's even smiling so brightly at me.

It's him. It's Jeon Jungkook in front of me.

"Wait, am I dreaming?" I asked myself while I'm slowly walking towards him.

"This is real? Is this real?" I asked once again.

I even poked his cheeks and god damn it, it is real! It's Jeon Jungkook! Bangtan Sonyeondan's Jeon Jungkook!

"Hi." he suddenly said.

I was so shocked that I stuttered while pointing at him

"Oh my gosh, it is you."

"It's nice meeting you. It's nice to know that you existed to support and love me. Thank you." he suddenly said.

I was so overwhelmed by what he said and started crying. Oh my gosh, is this even real? He's thankful for what I have done for him and even now know I existed. Is this real?

"Oh my gosh." that's the only phrase I can say right now.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!
JEON JUNGKOOK IS LITERALLY IN FRONT OF ME FACE TO FACE. BREATHING. SMILING. AND EVEN TALKING TO ME.

"Hey, stop crying." he said and kinda chuckled.

HE EVEN CHUCKLED. JEON JUNGKOOK EVEN CHUCKLED INFRONT OF ME.

"Are you sure you're not a standee?!" I suddenly asked and he laughed.

OH MY GOSH I THINK I'M GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF HEART ATTACK. HE'S REALLY IN FRONT OF ME. ALIVE

"Oh my gosh, it's you and I was talking to you earlier and oh my gosh, I'm really sorry." I said and started crying again.

Oh my gosh what is wrong with me. Why didn't I realize from the very beginning that it was him talking to me?

"Hey, it's okay." he said and suddenly held his thumb to wipe of my tears.

Oh gosh, I'm really combusting right now. It's just a dream for me for Jungkook to wipe my tears or even talk to me but here it is! It's coming true.

But suddenly his phone rang and I saw it was his manager calling. Wait, is he leaving?

I heard him sigh before he looked back at me with a disappointing smile.

"I really want to talk to you but I really have to go, but it was nice meeting you." He said

I just nodded. I wanted to say how much I care for him and all those feelings hidden inside me but I just can't, I was just so overwhelmed I can't talk to him straight or even say I love you to him.

He turned his back at me and run. I just smiled. I may not have a selfie or an autograph but it was nice seeing him here. He was even the first one to approach me.

I waved my hand while looking at him walking away from me. But I was shocked when he stopped and went back and run towards me.

Wait, is this some kind of drama where the leading man doesn't want to take off with his leading lady cause I'm willing to run away with him.

"I came back," he said while chasing his breathe "cause I forgot to ask for your name."

I smiled.

"Nana, it's Nana." I answered him.

He nodded and gave me a quick hug before he turned his back and run.

I can't contain my feels right now! He's really Jeon Jungkook and to be honest I just confessed my feelings for him indirectly. And now he knows I exist.

"Finally!" I said while jumping up and down because of happiness.

Now I can say that once upon a time an idol named Jeon Jungkook asked for my name and was thankful that I existed and even listened about how much I love him.

"See you again, Jungkook-ssi."

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