The Roommate

Junmyeon’s mother hugged him tightly. “I’ll miss you so much,” she said softly.

Junmyeon smiled and patted her back. “I’m only a half-hour bus ride away from home. You’ll see me all the time, mom.”

His mother sniffed and patted his back one last time before releasing him. “I suppose I always knew this day would come. But still—my only son, starting college!”

Junmyeon’s dad nodded along in agreement, and Junmyeon resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Yeah, mom.”

Junmyeon’s mother turned to the side. “Yifan, thank you so much for letting Junmyeon move in with you. We can’t be more grateful.”

“Of course Mrs. Kim.” Yifan stood off to the side, his hands slung casually in his pockets. Yifan glanced over at Junmyeon, and Junmyeon nearly flinched at the flash of dislike in Yifan’s eyes. “You guys are practically family, after all.”

“Thanks so much for helping us move all of Junmyeon’s things in too,” Mrs. Kim gushed. “Really, we’re so grateful. Are you sure there isn’t anything we can do to pay you back?”

Yifan laughed. “You could visit my parents sometime. I feel like they’re getting a little lonely, especially since I can’t go back and visit them as much this year.”

 “Of course, of course. Your classes must be piling work on you in your sophomore year.” Mrs. Kim sighed and then turned to her husband. “Well, we shouldn’t impose on Yifan any longer. Are you ready to go, dear?”

Mr. Kim responded by putting his arm around his wife’s waist. “Thanks for the help Yifan. Be good Junmyeon.”

“Yeah Dad.” Junmyeon smiled at his parents and waved as they left the apartment.

The moment the door shut behind his parents, Junmyeon felt an awkward silence fall between himself and Yifan. Yifan had definitely glared at him over his mother’s head a moment ago, and Junmyeon wasn’t sure what to do. He’d thought that Yifan had been okay with having him as a roommate, but it looked like that wasn’t entirely the case.

“I’m going to my room,” Yifan said abruptly. “Knock if you need anything.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Junmyeon stared after him as Yifan left the room. That was it? Yifan wasn’t going to ask him if they wanted to do anything together?

Although, to be fair, Junmyeon remembered how rocky their relationship had been as kids. Their parents had been close friends, but somehow, Yifan and Junmyeon had never quite hit it off. Junmyeon had always been a little afraid of Yifan because of Yifan’s cold expression and quiet demeanor. He’d never been sure about Yifan’s feelings towards him; but they’d avoided each other in school and only talked when their parents made them.

Junmyeon felt like he still knew a fair amount about Yifan, even though they’d spent most of their childhood avoiding each other. As far as he knew, Yifan still liked rapping and basketball. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he remembered how Yifan used to carry an alpaca plushie around with him when he was a kid. The smile faded as he realized how long ago that had been.

Maybe he really didn’t know anything about Yifan after all. The last time they had spoken was at Yifan’s graduation party a year ago, where Junmyeon had given him a perfunctory smile and a gift from his family, Yifan had given him a cool look, and Junmyeon had left the party as fast as he could. Junmyeon shivered softly at the memory; it had been so long since he’d thought about it, he’d forgotten how easily Yifan flustered him.

Well, even if things were off to a somewhat chilly start now, they might not stay that way forever. Junmyeon pulled himself together and went into his room to grab his wallet. He didn’t have any groceries in the fridge and he didn’t want to eat any of Yifan’s food. Junmyeon paused as he realized that he didn’t know where the grocery store was. He poked his head out into the hallway and stared hesitantly at Yifan’s door.

Yifan had said he could knock if needed anything, right? Junmyeon hesitantly stopped in front of Yifan’s bedroom door and knocked lightly.

There was a pause, and Junmyeon could hear Yifan getting up to come to the door.

Yifan opened the door and looked down at him. “What?”

“Do you, um…” Junmyeon trailed off nervously. “Do you know if there’s a grocery store nearby?”

Yifan stared down at him silently for a moment, and Junmyeon felt his shoulders tense up. “You have a phone right?”

Junmyeon blinked in surprise. “Yes?”

“Then use it,” Yifan said shortly. Junmyeon stared wide-eyed as Yifan shut the door curtly in his face.

Junmyeon felt a brief flare of anger. What as Yifan’s problem? But the anger quickly cooled do embarrassment and shame, and Junmyeon turned away from the door and hurried out of the apartment. Yifan was right—he should’ve just used his phone instead of bothering him. What had he even been thinking?

Junmyeon got back to the apartment an hour later. All the lights were off and Yifan’s door was still closed. Junmyeon sighed and went back to the kitchen to unpack his groceries. It looked like Yifan wasn’t willing to get along with him, even after all this time.

The first few weeks of college swept Junmyeon off his feet. All of the socializing, running around campus and getting lost, getting used to huge classes and struggling to make friends had Junmyeon utterly worn out. It didn’t help that Junmyeon lived off campus, unlike most other freshman, so he wasn’t around everyone else as much. Additionally, Junmyeon was struggling with his grades too. Junmyeon had always felt like he was a good student in high school, but somehow, it seemed like his old study habits wouldn’t keep up with college.

Junmyeon sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He’d already made a lot of adjustments; he spent most of his day on campus with his peers so that he could make better friends with everyone. He was getting used to where everything was on campus now, and he’d remade his study schedule so that he could be more effective.

But somehow, even though he’d done his best to adjust, he still felt miserable. Junmyeon supposed that he was used to having his best friends with him all the time in high school, and he would feel lonely until he could bond with his peers more. It didn’t help that Yifan was out all the time. Junmyeon wished that he could ask Yifan for advice on how to deal with all this, but Yifan probably wouldn’t help him anyways. As far as Junmyeon could tell, Yifan had a close circle of friends who he spent most of his time with at school. Yifan tended to come home extremely late at night. He would make himself dinner and then shut himself off in his room as fast as he could, and in the mornings, he would usually be gone when Junmyeon woke up.

Yifan was actually a pretty good roommate despite his refusal to interact with Junmyeon. He kept neat, didn’t encroach on Junmyeon’s space, and kept his partying out of the apartment. Junmyeon didn’t think he would actually mind too much if Yifan did want to have a party in their flat; he was actually vaguely interesting in seeing what that sort of thing was like.

Junmyeon had hoped that after the first couple of weeks, Yifan might warm up to him, but it looked like Yifan wasn’t going to budge. Junmyeon continued trudging on with school and his shambles of a social life. The homesickness started to set in, even though he was only a few hours away from home. Junmyeon found himself falling into a gloom, and when Friday nights passed by and he found himself sitting alone at home, staring moodily at his laptop screen, he felt a horrible sense of helplessness wash over him. Was he really cut out for college? Did he really deserve to be here? Was there really anyone else who felt the same way that he did?

Junmyeon walked out of his room and into the living room. He stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. Yifan likely wouldn’t be home for a while. Maybe lying down in the living room would feel better than lying down in his room.

Junmyeon closed his eyes and let his breathing even out. What was the point of it all anyways?

Junmyeon opened his eyes when he heard the lock on the front door click open. He heard Yifan rustling around in the hallway, and then stop in surprise when he came into the living room.

“Hey.”

Junmyeon blinked at him in acknowledgement and his side so that he was facing Yifan. He didn’t say anything—he was too tired for their icy interactions.

Rather than leaving, Yifan took another step into the living room. “Are you…okay?”

Junmyeon nodded shortly. “Tired,” he said quietly.

Yifan stared at him for a moment and cocked his head to the side. “Uh huh.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “You should sleep in your bed.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He heard Yifan standing quietly for a couple of seconds, and then the soft shuffle of clothing as Yifan left the room. Junmyeon stayed on his back, but closed his eyes. He was surprised that Yifan had bothered talking to him when he came in—but Junmyeon supposed he’d made it awkward by lying in plain view on the couch.

Yifan was right. Junmyeon should just go sleep on his bed—but inexplicably, his mind was starting to quiet down, and before Junmyeon quite realized what was happening, he was already fast asleep.

Junmyeon awoke the next morning with a pillow under his head and a blanket over his legs. Junmyeon blinked and stretched. His arm hit the back of the couch, and Junmyeon sat bolt upright.

He remembered Yifan telling him to go to sleep in his own bed the night before, and he supposed that he’d fallen asleep on the couch. But he definitely hadn’t bothered finding a pillow or blanket before he fell asleep—so had Yifan done that for him?

Junmyeon slowly got off of the couch and quietly padded into the kitchen. He listened closely for any sounds of Yifan in the hallway, and then slowly starting puttering around the kitchen to make coffee and find some cereal. Yifan was probably still asleep, and Junmyeon didn’t want to wake him up.

Junmyeon heard the front door open, and he paused when Yifan walked into the kitchen. Yifan looked surprised to see him up and about, but it quickly shifted back to his normal, cold expression.

“I bought some cold medicine.” Yifan lifted up the plastic shopping bag and Junmyeon blinked in surprise. This was getting weirder and weirder by the second. “You should take care of your health.”

Junmyeon stared at Yifan for a moment before slowly reaching out to accept the plastic bag. “Yeah.” Junmyeon cleared his throat softly. “Thanks. But, um—I’m not actually sick. I think.”

Yifan gave him a skeptical look. “Yeah, whatever. We have it just in case now.” He sighed heavily and reached out to pat Junmyeon’s shoulder. “Hey, I know I’ve been—distant, at the beginning of the semester. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Junmyeon said instantly, instinctively moving away from Yifan’s hand. “Don’t worry.”

Yifan shrugged. “You’ve just been more quiet than usual.” Yifan reached out and put the plastic bag on the counter. “Look, I know I haven’t been here much. But you can talk to me if you need anything.”

Junmyeon barely stopped himself from snorting; he hadn’t exactly forgotten that first confrontation about the grocery store. However, if Yifan was going to start warming up to him, he’d better play nice, especially if they were going to be living together for the rest of the year. “Sure.”

“Yeah.” Yifan nodded and awkwardly shuffled out of the kitchen. Junmyeon shook his head and went back to drinking his coffee. Could things get any stranger?

Yifan started spending a lot more time at home after that. It was strange getting used to Yifan’s presence again, especially since Yifan was pretty quiet and seemed to enjoy hovering at the corner of whatever room Junmyeon was in. Junmyeon also had to get used to not having the house to himself as much; but once they got past the first week, Junmyeon quickly came to realize that Yifan wasn’t actually cold—he was just extremely awkward. In fact, Junmyeon had poked his head into Yifan’s room for the first time to talk to Yifan a few weeks ago, and he’d been greeted by an enormous collection of plush alpacas.

Junmyeon began to hope that maybe, Yifan was actually genuinely being nice to him by spending time with him and occasionally picking up after him. When Junmyeon mentioned that he hadn’t really had a chance to explore the town around campus yet, Yifan started taking him out on the weekends with his friends. Junmyeon had to admit that it was actually really nice; as he started being less shy around Yifan, their relationship got easier and easier—to the point where Junmyeon could shyly admit to himself that he liked it best when he and Yifan went out on their own, just the two of them.

“Yifan?”

“Yes?” Yifan shifted so that he was turned towards Junmyeon. They were currently sprawled out on the couch watching TV, and Yifan had his arm loosely around Junmyeon’s shoulders.

“That first night, when you came in and asked if I was ok…” Junmyeon trailed off and turned so that he was leaning into Yifan’s arms. “Why did you do it?”

“Well.” Yifan cleared his throat and tightened his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders. “You were always so happy and bubbly, even when I was being cold towards you. Walking in on you passed out on the couch was definitely a shock, and you also just had this really…blank look on your face. It made me realize that you were probably struggling, and well…here we are.”

“I thought you hated me, when I first moved in.” Junmyeon laughed. “I never would’ve thought that I would be sitting next to you watching TV during those first few weeks.”

Yifan looked appalled. “I swear, I never hated you. I just wasn’t really sure how to talk to you, and I ended up being really defensive.”

Junmyeon shook his head and smiled. “Whatever.”

They sat in quiet silence for a few moments, and Junmyeon stared blankly at the flashing lights and images on the TV screen. Yifan started moving his hand up and down over Junmyeon’s shoulder, and Junmyeon relaxed even further into the back of the couch.

“Were you just shy in high school too?” Junmyeon smiled at Yifan. “Things were weird back then too.”

Yifan grimaced. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I know I was kind of a jerk.”

“You never really did anything mean,” Junmyeon said quickly. “It was just really weird to talk to you.”

“Yeah, well you’ve always been good-looking and well…” Yifan trailed off, and then seemed to realize what he’d just let slip. He went bright red and turned his head so that he wasn’t facing Junmyeon any longer.

Junmyeon raised an eyebrow. “You think I’m good-looking?”

Yifan rolled his eyes and looked down at him. “You know you are.”

Junmyeon pursed his lips in thought. “Well, not really,” he said after a couple of moments. “But thanks.”

Yifan didn’t say anything and just pulled him close again, and Junmyeon couldn’t help the small wave of warmth that bloomed in his stomach.

 As Junmyeon and Yifan got closer, and as the school year progressed, things started looking up. Junmyeon worked hard to change his study habits and he found himself doing better and better in his classes. He finally bonded with some of the other students in his classes, and Junmyeon found himself starting to smile again.

His friends liked to an awful lot about Yifan though. Junmyeon was studying with his friend, Jisoo, outside a library when he got a text from Yifan. Junmyeon smiled and moved to answer it, and when he looked up, Jisoo was grinning at him.

“So…your roommate,” Junmyeon’s friend, Jisoo began.

Junmyeon rolled his eyes.

Jisoo kept going. “Is he single?”

“For the last time, yes,” Junmyeon scowled. “He would notice you if you did more than just sit silently in a corner when you come over.”

Jisoo snorted. “Are you kidding me? I could literally break a plate over his head, and he would still keep staring at you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Junmyeon gathered up his papers and neatly stacked them in his folder. “When would a sophomore ever notice a freshman? He’s just protective.”

“Right,” Jisoo said disbelievingly. “Anyways, where are you going? I thought we were studying until one.”

“It is one now, you dummy.” Junmyeon reached out across the table and flicked Jisoo’s forehead. “I’m going to get lunch with Yifan. Are you coming?”

“I’m good.” Jisoo settled back into his chair. “Have fun.”

“Alright.” Junmyeon zipped his backpack shut and set off to go meet Yifan. They were going out to sushi, and then Yifan had to run off to a review session.

“Hey!” Yifan waved at him, and Junmyeon rushed over. He tripped and nearly fell flat on his face, but Yifan caught him just in time.

“Thanks,” Junmyeon said breathlessly. “Sorry I’m a little late!”

Yifan waved his hand dismissively and they set off. Things were quiet for a few minutes, and Junmyeon glanced up at Yifan’s contemplative expression. “Are you okay?”

Yifan hummed and stopped walking. Junmyeon stopped as well and glanced around. There were a few people on the sidewalk near them, but other than that, the street was surprisingly quiet. “Yifan?”

Yifan stuck his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “Junmyeon...this might be kind of sudden. Actually, scratch that. This is insane. I haven’t given you any build up or anything, but I’m doing this anways--“

“Yifan.” Junmyeon rolled his eyes. “Stop freaking out. It’s okay. What’s up?”

Yifan took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “Is this a date?”

Junmyeon gaped. “What?”

“I mean,” Yifan backpedaled, “Would you be okay if this was a date?”

“What?” Junmyeon repeated. Was Jisoo right? Did Yifan actually like him?

Yifan snorted and smiled. “I mean it. I like you, a lot.”

Junmyeon blinked and hesitated. “Are you sure?” he said softly.

“I know we live together, and things might not start off easy, but…I really like you. And I’d like to see where this goes,” Yifan said earnestly. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, though. I totally understand.”

Junmyeon frowned. “You’re right. You really didn’t give me any buildup to this. That’s totally unfair.”

Yifan smiled sheepishly at him. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon smiled back. “Okay. It’s a date.”

Yifan grinned and fist-pumped. Junmyeon rolled his eyes and tried not to melt into the sidewalk out of embarrassment. “Let’s just go,” he muttered, his face bright red as he grabbed Yifan’s arm and started dragging him down the sidewalk.

Yifan laughed at him and pulled out of Junmyeon’s grip so that he could swing his arm over Junmyeon’s shoulder.

Junmyeon could still feel the blush burning on his face as they turned into the sushi restaurant. There were still a lot of questions—but he couldn’t help the feeling that they were starting out something amazing.

Fin

a/n: At some point, I'll post a brief epilogue just because I felt like the story could use it. Written for Suho's birthday--I hope our beautiful, kind leader had a wonderful day and has many blessings for the year ahead! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Comments are always appreciated~