“Seolhyun, I’m sorry to bother you, but I forgot to start the math homework and it was like 75 questions. Can I see it?” Mina made the cutest face she could think of to be convincing. The top student in her sophomore math class who she was bothering couldn’t possibly say no. Seolhyun simply nodded and handed the math homework over to her classmate before returning her attention to the novel she was reading.

Mina happily thanked Seolhyun with the usual “you’re a life saver! I’ll return it to you tomorrow!” and ran over to her friends with the assignment in her hand.

Hyejeong was listening to her friends Jimin and Choa argue about something that happened last week. Honestly, she zoned out a third way into the story. She thinks it was about waffles or frozen yogurt, but she’s not sure. Either way, she was silently listening to the two oldest while watching her best friend walk over with Seolhyun’s math homework.

“You forgot your homework again? Seriously?” the chemistry major, Yuna, scolded Mina and the latter sighed.

“It was an honest mistake; I was tired from doing my homework for my international business class” Mina replied.

“Liar. Your business class was cancelled for both sessions this week. You were just out partying.”

“Okay fine, I forgot. But in my defense, I was drunk as . Just ask Hyejeong since she was there too.” Mina said as she threw Hyejeong under the bus.

“Leave me out of this. At least I kept up with my homework” the psychology major fired back at her best friend.

“Why is everyone attacking me today?” Mina, the business student, mumbled.

“Because you’re going to fail your finals if you keep taking that girl, Seolhyun’s, homework” Jimin, the group’s political science student, interjected.

“Hey, it’s not like I force her to give me her homework for our class”

“Speaking of her, she doesn’t really talk to anyone does she?” Choa, an English major, asked.

“Yeah, even in the classes that we share, she is really quiet” Mina answered.

“She’s really pretty and nice, but she just seems so cold. She really doesn’t talk to anyone, but her grades are amazing. Maybe cutting off all social interactions is the way to a good GPA” Jimin joked.

“I guess that means we should stop hanging out with you and Mina” Choa teased.

“For the last time! I got a 2.5 that semester because I did not understand what the my intro to global politics professor was saying! I swear on my life that he doesn’t even know how the world works anymore since he was alive since Columbus founded the Americas!” Jimin screamed loudly in the courtyard. Had this been in high school, the entire student body would have been listening, but once you enter college, you realize no one gives a and worries about themselves.

Hyejeong paid no mind to her short friends arguing with each other about their GPAs while Yuna tried to stop the fight. The psychology major found herself staring at Seolhyun, who was still quietly reading her book. Her straight black hair, tan skin, perfect curves, long legs… Hyejeong simply could not figure out why the girl was so secluded.

“Well I have Chemistry 3 now. Bye you guys” Yuna tells her friends and makes her way to class while Hyejeong was done for the day. Choa, Jimin and Mina also told Hyejeong goodbye as they head to class, leaving the psychology student alone. Hyejeong got her book bag and started walking to the parking lot when she saw Seolhyun doing the same.

After an internal debate, Hyejeong walked beside the mysterious student and greeted her.

“Hi, I’m Shin Hyejeong. You’re Kim Seolhyun right?”

The younger of the two nodded warily.

“I see Mina bothering you a lot. I apologize on behalf of my lazy best friend” Hyejeong said to lighten the mood.

“Thank you, but don’t worry. I don’t mind being useful.”

Hyejeong raised her eyebrow at the word choice and found herself frowning. Why would the girl say such a thing? Maybe it was the psychology major inside of her, but Hyejeong quickly created multiple scenarios to get an inside the head of the girl beside her.

“Don’t say that. Be nice to yourself”

Seolhyun returned a weak smile.

Once they arrived to Seolhyun’s car, Hyejeong gave her one last smile.

“I’m serious. Please be nice to yourself. And we should talk more often.”

-

Once she returned home, Seolhyun put away her shoes and quietly walked to her room. The girl stared at the pills by her bedside and usually she would contemplate ending everything. Every day is the same. Go to school, talk to no one, go home and get ready for the next day. But today was different, she actually spoke to someone and it wasn’t just for homework. A pretty girl at that too.

The young woman stayed in her room finishing up her homework and studying. After a few hours, she went to take a shower. By the time she was finished, she saw her parents and sister in the dinner table setting up. Seolhyun quietly sat down and started consuming her meal.

“How was your day sweetheart?” her father asked her.

“Same as usual.” Seolhyun answered.

“How about your social life? You’re 19 now Seolhyun, yet you still never brought home a boyfriend” her mother said with a firm voice. Parents asking their children about dating is normal, but for Seolhyun, that was what she dreaded the most. Seolhyun had come out to her father years earlier about her biuality and recently to her sister, but she knew better than to tell her mother. Mrs. Kim had made it clear more than once that she was not in support of this “lifestyle people do nowadays”. It certainly doesn’t help that Seolhyun is aware she very much prefers women over men.

“No one interests me” Seolhyun answered, which was a lie. She has had plenty of crushes on her female classmates, but she wasn’t about to tell her mother that. Although it wasn’t like it mattered anyway since Seolhyun doesn’t dare come out of the closet with the exception of her father and sister. In fact, she has vowed to practically die alone in the closet.

“You know, today I had a coworker who told me her son came out as gay to her” Mrs. Kim said.

“Dear, I don’t think this is any of our concern” Mr. Kim told his wife.

“Yes mother, we shouldn’t talk about others’ affairs like this” the older Kim sibling added, knowing that this conversation was going to a direction that was going to hurt her sister’s self-esteem even more.

“I just wanted to ask you two for your opinions on this”

“I think it’s great that he was brave enough admit it to his loved ones. It’s never easy and I respect him” Seolhyun’s sister replied.

“You don’t find it shameful?” Mrs. Kim questioned.

“Why should we care what other people do? He can love whoever he wants and it’s none of our business. What matters is the person being happy at the end of the day and love is love” Seolhyun bit back a smile from hearing her sister’s supportive words

“Well I don’t see how anyone can be happy living such a lifestyle. Thank goodness none of my daughters are abominations”

Seolhyun lost her appetite and suddenly those pills on her bedside seemed so much better.

-

The 19-year-old law student went back to her room and locked the door. Her mother’s words still lingering in her head. She stared at the pills.

Maybe tonight was the night.

Her phone notifies her that she received a message and Seolhyun sighed as she diverted her attention to the mobile device. She let out a small smile when she realizes it’s her online friend from tumblr. While Seolhyun has trouble opening up, this one user was able to make her feel safe. They both share similar likes and thoughts.

Dongdong810: Hey how’ve you been? I didn’t speak to you all day and I just want you to know I missed you <3

Ksh0103: Hey! I missed you too! And basically the same old same old. My mother was being homophobic as usual. And I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does and it just hurts so much knowing my mother will never accept me for who I truly am. I did not ask to be born this way. If I could take a medication to suppress my feelings for girls, I would.

Ksh0103: Sometimes I just feel like sending myself to a gay rehab camp and maybe I can trick myself into thinking I don’t like women.

Ksh0103: Other times, I just feel like things would be better had I never been born. It’s not like I will ever find love anyway.

Ksh0103: Maybe I should just jump at the first guy I somewhat like so I can fake a life. Not like the me in the real world is genuine anyway.

Dongdong810: Please don’t say that. You’re amazing the way you are. We cannot help who we like and it’s not your fault. I wish I could be there to tell you how amazing you truly are because you deserve to know. One day you will be happy, be it with a man or a woman. Gender is irrelevant when it comes to love. Just look at it this way, decades ago, people thought marriage was ridiculous, but now those people who spewed that nonsense just look like idiots. I’m always saying this, but you don’t need to change a thing.

Ksh0103: Thank you. It really means a lot to hear this. Thank you for being my friend.

Dongdong810: Any time. I wish we could meet in real life. I’d fight your mother

Ksh0103: LOL I’d prefer you didn’t

Dongdong810: I can take her! No one hurts my baby girl!

Ksh0103: Baby girl?

Dongdong810: Yes, you’re my baby girl. My precious smol little cinnamon roll who is too pure and too good for this world.

Ksh0103: Omg…

Dongdong810: But I’m serious. We will meet one day and I will let you know how great you truly are. At the end of the day, you’re the only one who will always truly be there for you. I want you to love yourself. We’re so used to hearing people tell us “treat others the way you’d treat yourself”, which don’t get me wrong is right, but some people forget something that is equally important “treat yourself the way you’d treat others”. If you wouldn’t say mean things to others, why are you saying them to yourself?

Ksh0103: I’m trying. But it’s just hard

Dongdong810: I understand. When I first realized I was into girls, I denied it and hated myself too. But now I’ve accepted that I can’t and shouldn’t change who I am. Plus, girls are great. They’re like God’s greatest creation. Sometimes I ask myself “what did we sacrifice to deserve cute girls?” and then I realized it was “my heterouality” but I’m like “totally worth it”

Ksh0103: I’m dead lmao

Dongdong810: Jokes aside, I hope one day you will learn to appreciate how great you are because you are perfect. Now I’m going to sleep. Good night baby. Love you sleep well <3

Ksh0103: Good night to you too. Ily2

Seolhyun turned off her phone to charge for the night and for the first time today, she had a big smile on her face. Needless to say she has a huge crush on her internet friend. Was it normal to fall so hard for someone you’ve never met? Probably not, but Seolhyun doesn’t care. This tumblr mutual was the first person to ever make her feel somewhat thankful for being who she is.

I hope I can meet her one day

The girl looked at the bottle of sleeping pills and put them inside her drawer.

“Maybe another day. I’m not gonna let you win, not today.”

-

Meanwhile in another household, Hyejeong was staring at the conversation between her and this girl on tumblr she had grown close to.

Whoever you are, I hope one day you will be happy.

Like Seolhyun, she too had grown feelings for the mutual online, but she wasn’t ready to tell her friend yet. They know that they live in the same city and there’s plenty of time for them to meet up in the future. What the girl needs now is a friend, not a girlfriend. Also, she didn’t want to overwhelm or pressure the girl since she is still very much in the closet.

Right now, Hyejeong’s top priority is making sure her friend learns to be comfortable in her own skin.

“I’ll ask you out one day, but not right now.”

“Good night my stranger baby girl”

Oh if only they knew that they're closer than they thought.

The End?

I have not written anything since like the last world war. I'm sorry, I've just been very stressed lately and have other personal reasons. Thank you for reading! Sorry if I have any typos.