It’s a nice day to start over the work, Jessica thought to herself. Yes, finally she’s debuting, for the second time, as a solo. She released her full-length album which she wrote it by herself. Pouring everything to all the song. Especially ‘Love Me The Same’. She think of certain person over there. Did she already listen to this song? How does she feel? Isn’t it too late for apologise? After everything?

But Jessica know that it was beyond impossible. It was all in the past, and this is all her fault. For leaving her, for hurting her – and hurting herself. She leave her to be with a certain jerk guy and she regret it now. She regret it everytime. Then she wrote a song, hoping that someday that certain girl will hear it and know how does she feels. Jessica hope.

Jessica know that ‘girl’ love her so much. Jessica can see it very clearly although that ‘girl’ never properly confessed to her. But then action speaks louder than action, and yes Jessica believe it – yet she already saw it. Back then, whenever Jessica is sad, Yuri always be with her. Yes, that Kwon Yuri who made her life complete. Yuri didn’t have to said anything to show her love for Jessica.

But being stupid enough and to be blind by a sweet tongue guy – Tyler Kwon,  Jessica lost everything. She lost her best friends, she lost Yuri, and now she lost herself. When she thought she can be happy with that man, Tyler leave and dump her just like that. Back then Jessica insisted that she was straight, she denied that she love Kwon Yuri too. And now she regret it. How she wish she can turn back the moment.

1 year. Jessica is going through hard moment, yet she was all alone and it makes it more harder. She cried herself every night before going to sleep and wake up everyday by a headache. She want to contact Yuri, but she know she can’t. She was the one who leave, without any word. She was hoping at least Yuri will call or text her, but Jessica know Yuri is hurt. Very hurt that Yuri just fell silent without saying anything to her.

Then one day she remembered what Yuri ever said to her. “Do whatever you want, Sica. Do whatever you like, just follow your heart. You live only once, don’t make yourself regret it later.” Then she started writing a song by song. And especially, she wrote a song for Yuri. For Yuri to know what Jessica feels all this time, even if it too late.

“Jess, are you ready yet?” the manager knock on the door while Jessica sitting on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and shouted to her manager. “Yes! 10 minutes more!” then Jessica proceed to the bathroom, doing her routine. Today she will have couple photoshoot. Jessica hate it honestly, but what can she do? Her manager already said yes to the offer. Besides, Jessica doesn’t care to who the partner gonna be is. After all, it just for the work.

After exactly 15 minutes, Jessica get out from the room greeted by her manager unnie crossing her arms. “Yah Jess, didn’t you remember we have to go to the studio right at 8 AM? Look, it’s already 9 now. Seriously.”

“I’m sorry unnie. I can’t sleep last night and I overslept.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s go then, hurry up.”

--

I waited patiently for about 30 minutes, waiting for my partner to come and do the photoshoot. You know what crazy? Well they paired me with a girl. I don’t know who the girl gonna be but I just think that it was so crazy. My manager unnie sat beside me while plugging the earplug on her ears, nodding and mumbling the song she played.

“You know, your whole album is really the best. I love it so much, you really put your feelings to the song I see.”

“Unnie, why do you agree on this photoshoot anyway? Isn’t it crazy that they paired me with a girl?” Jessica nagged at her manager and clearly ignoring what her manager said.

“Well, why don’t you try something different? Besides, it’s for the special edition for the magazine’s anniversary. They said they want something out of the box, so instead of a normal couple they want a girlxgirl couple for the cover.”

“Still, you should ask my opinion in this..”

“Sshh Jess, this is your chance for you to promote your album too. Didn’t you said to me before that you want ‘someone’ to listen for your song? Maybe through this magazine you could make that happen. I don’t know who he/she is but he must be a damn lucky for you the ice princess to even write a song for him.”

“You make a point I guess, Unnie.”

“Oh and besides, your partner is Korean too. This magazine is also produced Korean magazine, so I think you could spread your album to the Korea too, right? Even though your album is already become hit in this city, New York. I know it’s a little bit weird to release Korean language song in New York but girl wow you nailed it.”

Korea? Well yeah ever since that tragedy, I leave Korea and decided to live here in New York. But I got even more curious who will be my partner? Do I know her? And my manager unnie got some point tho, if I do the photoshoot and some interview, maybe Yuri will see it? And listen to my song? Well, maybe just maybe.

My thought being interrupted when I heard footstep behind me – it sounds rushing. And that very familiar voice echoed in the room. “Oh my, sorry I’m sorry I got late. My plane got delayed. I’m so sorry.”

What kind of lame excuse was that? As I was about to shout at whoever that girl is, my voice is gone the moment I turn my body to her direction. I saw a slender tan girl, the person I miss the most right now, standing with slightly open while staring at me with her brown eyes. I don’t know what must I do right now. I saw her eyes, I don’t know what emotion she showed me. But clearly I saw one thing in her eyes, hurt.

The photographer then came after her and quickly set everything for us. “Go go girls! Get ready please. Yuri, you will be the ‘man’ in this photoshoot since you have the masculine and handsome face, will it be alright with you?”

Yuri didn’t even break her stare to me and slowly nodded her head toward the photographer. “Yes, that will be fine. Is it okay with you, Jessica-shi?” I got startled at her voice. This voice, is not something I want to hear from her. Her voice seem so .. cold. “Y-yeah, that w-was okay.”

Then Yuri nodded at me and leave me to change her outfit and get some make-up done. She wore a tight black jeans, white t-shirt, and leather jacket making her looks so handsome and good while I was wearing a simple dress that matched her outfit.

My heart is beating so fast even though I just saw her. We both going towards the couch that the staff prepared – for the photoshoot.

“Okay, Jess, can you sit on the couch? And Yuri, you can go to the back of the couch.”

I walked and sit on the couch while staring at Yuri who walked behind me. Being so close to her like this make my heart go wild and was about to explode. She just put her poker face and pretend that was nothing between us. Like she never know me.

“Jess, can you be more relax? You can lean your back on the couch while Yuri, can you leaned front to Jessica a little bit and staring at her? Jess you just have to smile to the camera.”

I lean my back awkwardly to the couch and feel Yuri leaned to me. I can feel her warm breath on my neck and it immediately send shiver down to my spine. I got so nervous that I thought I would just die. “Relax.” She whispered to me. How I miss her ….

“Okay good. Hold on for the moment. 3.. 2… 1…” *click*

“That was great!” the photographer shouted excitedly.

We spent for about half an hour doing the photoshoot. I got more comfortable as the time goes on even though my heart still beating like crazy. Then it finally the last pose. Yuri sit on the couch while I have to sit on her lap. Oh my God I thought I can’t be more crazy than this!

I sat awkwardly at her and she immediately put her arms over my waist and pull me to lean fully on her front. I felt warm. The fuzzy feeling, butterflies on my stomach, I feel it again – with her. Then the regret come again, why I’m so stupid that I let her go? Even though it’s just for the photoshoot, I’m glad. I was glad that finally I can be with her again.

“Okay you two, look at each other and leaned your face near each other. Like if you’re about to kiss.”

Dug. My heart beats like crazy. I didn’t dare to look at her face that she placed her hand toward my chin, turning my head to look in her eyes. I drown myself into her beautiful yet cold brown eyes. Not the usually warm-brown eyes.

I know this is all my fault, clearly my fault. I can feel her warm breath on my face then I stared deeply at her eyes. Hey eyes said it all, the love she has for me, the hurt she has on her eyes. I can’t help but wanting to kiss her right now, telling her that I won’t leave her again. I slowly closed my eyes and about to lean closer to her.

“Okay! Cut! That was great Yuri, Jessica! Wow, you two could be a good couple for real, your chemistry is no joke. Thankyou for all your hardwork everyone!”

With that I immediately open my eyes and I ran from her. I can’t, clearly I can’t face her now. I was so shame of myself. I ran to the toilet and silently cried myself here.

“Did I interrupted something?” a soft voice – belonged to the only Kwon Yuri echoed on the toilet as she closed the door.

Then I decided, it was now or never. “Yuri…”

“What Jessica-shi?” she said coldly to me. It was hurt, Yuri. Please don’t act like this. Where the Yuri I used to know?

I know how you feel, I won’t ask anymore
There’s nothing I want more in this world
More than your love

“I’m sorry Yuri, i’m really sorry.” I let my tears damped my cheeks. I remember the first time I met her and I was so cold toward her. But she never give up, she always there by my side wether I like it or not. She changed me, she melt my heart. Then that was the first time I asked myself, am I in love?

You become a starlight and make me shine
and I know is this the start of the two of us?

“I already forgive you, Sica.” She said as she smiled a little at me. How that moment my heart nearly popped out from my chest seeing her smile at me. She walked closer to me but didn’t make any body-contact to me. I know she still love me, clearly I saw it in her eyes.

“By the way, congratulation on your debut. Why you cry at the moment like this? Isn’t this is what you really want? Then why are you crying? You didn’t listen to me did you? I told you don’t do something you’ll regret Sica. Believe in yourself, belive in your heart.” She said to me.

“I was so stupid Yuri. I make a mistake. I didn’t know that time, I didn’t know that I love you. I denied everything, I lied to myself that I didn’t love you. I make the biggest mistake that time and I regretted it every second. I realized it now. Maybe this is too late for me but please I want to be with you Yuri, just please hug me.” I cried and let myself break down in front of her. There I said it, three words that either me or her has never said.

She finally closed the gap between us. She hugged me and caressed my back. Neither she said a word for me. She just keep silent and hug me. Typical Yuri, action speaks louder than words. But now I want to hear it by herself did she still love me? Is there still any chance for me?

When time goes by and things get hard
Then baby ooh would you love me the same?
If there only the two of us in the world
Even then, oh would you love me the same?

“I already forgive you Sica. For all this year, I can’t help but blaming myself. I was thinking every damn second. Am I not good enough for you? Am I a burden to you? Then I remembered what I said to you, you have to believe in your heart. And I thought that this is what you want. So I’m dealing it with myself. I tried to hard not to contact you, not because I hate you. But I respect your decision.” She whispered to me. And every single word she said really break my heart to pieces. How can a perfect person like her is exist?

I see you looking it, makes me want to hold you
What are you doing? This isn’t the time to do this
Be honest, don’t joke around
‘cause I can’t do this forever

I just kept silent as I cherish every moment I feel in her embrace. Her familiar warm embrace. I still waited for her, waiting for those three words that keep me fighting for this love. I know action speaks louder than words, but this moment, can’t she just said it to me?

Tell me honestly, where you wanna be?
I can’t take it anymore
I want to hear it.
Your feelings.
Here in the moment.

Then she broke our hugs and stared deeply at me. She held both of my hands as she speak. “Jessica Jung, I’m sorry if I was such a coward before. I love you. I love you so much to the point that I was letting you go. I thought it was for the best, but each day I was hurt and broke and I regretted it too every second of my life. I should have fight for my love for you. At least I should have tell you what I feel. Maybe it was fate that we met again, and this right at this moment I’m telling you that I’m Kwon Yuri deeply madly fall in love with you, Jessica Jung. I promise to myself I will never let you go again. I will love you the same. When the times goes by and things get hard, if there’s only the two of us in the world, even the lights go out, even when you’re no longer glamorous. I will love you Jessica Jung, I will love you the same.”

There, she said it. And I know she already listen to my song. Right at this moment, this one day that change everything in my life. Right there, in the toilet although it doesn’t seem romantic. But it was all I need, her to said love me and for me to said ..

“I love you too Kwon Yuri, always be.”

And with that our lips meet with each other. It was a pure bliss.

And there’s only one thing I hope right at this moment. Even though I’m not pretty again, even though I despite her, I just hope that she would love me the same.

Would you not change?
Even when the lights go out.
Will you hold my hand?
Would you love me the same?
Will you cherish me?
Even when I’m not glamorous

Would I still have your heart babe?