behind velvet curtains  // wheesun // 479w

She waits again.

Anticipation bubbles inside of her. Every single time after the first time is like the first. Why? Love. That is how it made sense to her. Everything else is just noise. Buzz and shallow emptiness trying to make sense of all the other mess in her life.

She taps her foot impatiently. Always. She is usually very patient. Always smiling and always polite. Always eager to make friends. But with her she is different. She is blunt, impatient, free and loud. Like herself but more. She is more around her.

Breathing was easy around her.

Waking up in the morning is easy knowing she is just close by.

The dressing room door opens and she straightens up immediately. Her smile is wide and she is eager to be on her feet -- and run, oh God she wants to run -- but she resists.

The few seconds before she is close enough to touch, walking towards her, is always worth all the wait. All the time spent apart is worth this moment they shared every time they met again. And she is sure that being in love was truly the best thing to have happened in her life. And she is lucky that it is her she is in love with.

She steps forward once more, their toes touching and she hears herself laugh. She is granted with a large smile and before the other could say anything, she already jumps up and wraps her arms around her neck.

She breathes in her scent, her skin, her everything in that one hug, fingers running through the other’s silky smooth hair. “Hello, my love,” she whispers.

“I have missed you. Wheein ah.” Solar says, breathless.

“I missed you more,” Wheein says, her arms around Solar tightening.

“Shouldn’t we...like...space…?”

Wheeins shakes her head stubbornly. “A few more minutes. Let’s stay like this for a few more minutes.

“But,” Solar begins to say, though she wraps her arms around the other tighter. “Others might see.”
 

“What they will see are childhood friends hugging after not seeing each other two months.” Wheein pulls away just a fraction to look at Solar, placing a light peck on the older’s lips. “And after that, me kissing my girlfriend.”

Solar blushes. The term is still fairly new to her. And they didn’t say it out loud, afraid.

When they finally let each other go, they hold hands instead, still wanting to touch the other.

They needed to hide. Which is why moments like this, behind closed doors with only the two of them, they treated it so dearly. It is fragile -- these moments, moments because they never lasted and with only a few seconds, it disappears -- and they needed to protect it.

The needed to hide. Because too much is at risk.

A love like this isn’t meant to be under the spotlight. It belongs in the shadows, hushed whispers, secret letters and stolen touches.

lost // moonsun // 326w // for m’s birthday

Hey.

It’s been a while. How funny it is that I have to start my letter this way. Really, I think it’s because I’m buying myself some time. So I can form the right words to write to you. It would be a pain to waste the ink, the paper, and time. We have so little of the latter that I do not wish to use up more of it.

How are you?

Have you achieved your dreams by now?

Are you shining, blinding everyone with the light inside of you?

I always knew that you would become great. There has always been this part of you that was to scared to fly. But you can do it, my

She stops. Her hand is cramping again and so she lets the pen go, shaking her arm and massaging it. She’s been holding the pen with extreme pressure, for the fear that if she doesn’t, the words will slip by and she would no longer remember.

It’s been three months and the letter remains unfinished.

For now, she thinks it’s enough. She lets go of the pen, leans back against the chair and closes her eyes. She feels pathetic. She feels useless.

Even after all this time, she still thinks of her. The time they spent at the academy, feels like a figment of her imagination. A distant past that she could grasp anymore. Her memory fails her. Just like her limbs were.

“Honey… Can I come in?”

She hides the letter underneath a book, shouting a clear, “Yes, you can.”

Her mother walks in the room, trying to smile. She returns it with a weak smile of her own and lets her wrap her arms around her neck, kissing her forehead.

“We need to go for a little walk. You can’t be cooped up in your room all day.”

Leaning her head against her mother, she closes her eyes. “Yeah… It’s my last day, after all.”