If Seungcheol was being honest, he really wasn't surprised. They had talked about it before, during late nights after a tiring day of practice. Sometimes with Jihoon, sometimes without. Doyoon had confided in him numerous times. Thoughts of quiting, his interest in acting, how training was getting difficult, how he feels like his evaluation was going to . The possibililty and probability was always there, but now looking at him, with his luggage in his hand and backpack over his shoulder, standing in their green practice room facing the team, Seungcheol has to bite back his tongue from slipping out a "why". He feels like all their promises, past, present and future have been crumpled, stepped on and thrown out the window. Seungcheol doesn't break though. With Samuel having left earlier and Ming Ming leaving with Doyoon, Seungcheol knows he has to be strong for the team. He doesn't need to turn around to know that Seungkwan is already crying, and Soonyoung and Seokmin are going to start too. It's one thing to lose a member, it's another to lose two on the same day. He knows Jihoon isn't crying. Jihoon is not the type to. Nonetheless, he can practically feel the sadness, disapointment and maybe anger radiating out of Jihoon's body. Jihoon will be fine, Seungcheol decides, as he assumes his unofficial role of leader by starting the process of shaking their "former" members hands, wishing them all the best. His smile is strained when he looks at Doyoon and Seungcheol hopes he doesn't realise it. Doyoon replies with a small sad smile of his own and his "thank you" and "sorry" feel more weighted than they should as they leave his mouth. Seungcheol really feels like punching him right now, but holds it back by giving him a tight hug instead. He has a strange feeling that this may be last one he gets from Doyoon. It takes a while for all the members to finish their wishes and hugs before they send the two off with cries and tears, waving with all their might. Seungcheol feels like the room is suddenly so much bigger.

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"Which is why we're going to draw lots."

Doogi PD and one of their managers were the one that came up with the suggestion shortly after Doyoon and Ming Ming had left.

"Dongjin, Jisoo and Jeonghan have been out in the hall since they came. Now that some beds are empty, now would be good time to re-allocate everyones sleeping places don't you think? It's only fair to the newer members after all."

Seungcheol gets it, he understands it. It doesn't change the fact however that he's not sure if he's completely comfortable with it. He loves all s, truly he does, old and new. It's just that, as the longest trainees, he, Doyoon and Jihoon have been sharing the same room all these years. He's not sure if he'd be as comfortable sleeping with the others, or rather, the others sleeping in their beds. Still, the other members seem excited about the change, including Jihoon, so how could he possibly oppose them?

They draw lots 17 style, with numbered spoons, the numbers representing the room they're in. Seungcheol draws first and sees a "1". Looks like he's in his old room again. He's not sure if he should be happy though. He takes a peak at Jihoon's and sees that he has a "3", meaning that he's in the hall. Though the chance was small, he was secretly hoping they'd be in the same room again.

"Hyung! Looks like we're together huh?"

Seungcheol is snapped out of his thoughts with that call, and realises that his two new roomates are already standing in front of him. 

Jeon Wonwoo and Yoon Jeonghan.

He considers them both for a second. He's known Wonwoo for a while now. He's a good kid, who loves to read. Apparently, he needs to watch videos before he sleeps but Seungcheol can live with that. As for Jeonghan, they're the same age, if that helps any. Despite being in same grouping for a couple of evaluations, he could never really consider himself especially close to Jeonghan. It doesn't help that Jeonghan is the newest member to the group. Still, Jeonghan's considered to have the best personality, even according to Jihoon, so that has to mean something right? After all, it is an accomplishment to be able to call Jihoon cute without getting a whack on the head thereafter. So he guesses he could probably live with Jeonghan too. Maybe this will be good time to get to know him better, who knows? Maybe he'll be able to get over this strange emptiness thats beginning to grow in him as he continues to stare at his two new roomates.

Or at least that's what he had hoped. Standing now, in the middle of their room, with Jihoon and Doyoon's stuff gone, he feels the emptiness intensify by the hundreds. Has the room always been so big? He continues to stand and stare and feels his mind go blank. He feels like throwing up. He feels like screaming. He feels a whole mixture of emotions bubble up inside him that he wants to let out, that he...

"Seungcheol?"

Seungcheol is shaken from his reverie as he turns to face Jeonghan standing at the doorway of the room. Jeonghan says nothing but stares at him in silence, as if expecting a reply from Seungcheol. Seuncheol has noticed several things about Jeonghan this past year. Firstly that he is rather quiet though he can get noisy during their 17tv games. Jeonghan also hardly talks about himself or his family, like he's trying to keep as much of his private life away from the group. One thing that he also notices from time to time, is that while Jeonghan is easily pushed around by the members, in skinship or during practice, never has anyone actually spoken against him when he speaks, other than Seungcheol himself of course. Seungcheol has never understood why since Jeonghan is the "Eldest Maknae" and technically has the least authority in the group. Now, however, staring face to face with him, Seungcheol is beginning to see what the others see. Jeonghan is scary. There's something about the way he looks at you that makes it seem like he knows what you're thinking and that you can't oppose him. Seungcheol suddenly feels pressured to answer him. However, Seungcheol knows he's not ready to tell Jeonghan everything. Jeonghan doesn't know and doesn't need to know he tells himself. He smiles as he replies Jeonghan.

"Everything is good. Tell Wonwoo he can bring in his stuff, and you can bring in yours too Jeonghan"

Seungcheol hopes that he can keep this up.

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Two weeks in and Seungcheol is beginning to realise it's a lot harder than expected. The gap the two members leave (espeacially Doyoon) is big and as the longest trainee, Seungcheol feels like he's getting the worst of it, since the others seem to be doing just fine. He decides he needs some alone time one day and heads back to the dorm before everyone else. He closes his room door and sits on his bed and stares at the Mac he just . That night, he took the mattress on the floor as his bed, claiming that it's his duty as the longest member to give the bunk-bed to Wonwoo and Jeonghan. Really, he just didn't feel like sleeping on his or Doyoon's bed anymore.

Not long after though, Jeonghan comes in, alone. Closing the door, he casually moves to sit on Seungcheol's bed (mattress) and leans against the wall. Seungcheol knows he can tell Jeonghan to leave and Jeonghan will. He also really feels like doing so as well. For some reason however, he doesn't.

With the whirling of the fan, the noise of the computer and the absence conversation, Seungcheol feels he can't do it anymore.

He breaks.

The tears flow out and Seungcheol finds himself ranting in between his breathing. How he feels like the group is breaking apart. Where he went wrong. What he could have done. What happened to all the promises? What about all the memories? It's not just about Doyoon either. Samuel and Ming Ming as well. When did they decide it was over? Why did they betray them? Him? Why did he betray them? Aren't friends supposed to be together? Was he doing the right thing by staying in the group? What if 17 never debuts?

The words flow out in between tears and mucus and Seungcheol knows he's an ugly mess but he can't be bothered. Not now when weeks of hurt and pain are finally being released and he just doesn't have the energy to control himself anymore.

It takes another good 15 minutes before Seungcheol has finally calmed down. He turns to Jeonghan who hasn't said a word the entire time. Jeonghan still says nothing but takes some tissues (did he know this was going to happen and came prepared?) and quietly cleans up Seungcheol's face before leaning back on the wall. Seungcheol follows suit, too tired to say or do anything else.

As if on cue, Jisoo comes in, opening the door. He takes a look at Seungcheol before looking at Jeonghan. Some form of silent messaging is transmitted and Jisoo leaves quietly. Not for long though, because he comes back a few minutes later with three cups of warm milk on a tray and settles himself in front of the two of them. He gently pushes a cup into Seungcheol's hand and shares another look with Jeonghan before passing him a cup as well.

Seungcheol wonders to himself how they became so close so fast, within less than a year, and wonders if it was the same for him, Doyoon and Jihoon as well. As he contemplates this, he realises Jisoo has started talking about his home in LA again, with Jeonghan actively listening and laughing quietly along. There's no mention of practice or the members, just descriptions of a foreign land that he has longed to see as a child.

Admist Jisoo's soft voice and Jeonghan's warm laughter, Seungcheol finds himself dosing off to sleep on Jeonghan's shoulder. He thinks to himself that just for now, he's going to throw away his mantle as unofficial leader. Just for now, he's going to take a break and lean on someone else for support because he is just too tired to care anymore. It will take time, but he knows this hole in him will heal. Maybe tomorrow he will call Doyoon and Ming Ming to check if they reached home safely. He may message Samuel as well, to see how he and his mom are doing too. They're still his kids after all. It will take time, but he will be alright. He still has Jihoon, and now he has Jeonghan and Jisoo as well. 

He wraps his hands tightly around the warm cup of milk and slowly closes his eyes. For the first time in two weeks, a genuine smile forms on his face as he thinks, yes, it's going to be alright.

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And done! hehehehe, how was it? For those who didn't realise it, Minghao/Myungho/The8 hasn't joined yet since this is just after Doyoon and Ming Ming left. Let me know how it was and if you'd like to see more friendship fics with Jeonghan, or between the members in general:) I have a couple of AU fics for SVT in my head so let me know if you'd like see those as well:] hope you enjoyed it and God Bless:D