when namjoon is seventeen-going-on-eighteen and yoongi is newly-turned nineteen, they all go out to eden, an underground club in downtown seoul, and drink themselves silly. namjoon and yoongi stumble back to the dorms later than everyone else, pushing and shoving each other the whole way up to the rooftop. winter hasn’t completely left yet, and it’s still cold at night, forcing them to huddle close together, worn throw-over covering both their legs and tension crackling like electricity between them.

there’s a pause when namjoon catches the eye of the older rapper and yoongi looks raw, exposed…tired and namjoon doesn’t think, doesn’t consider the consequences, he just leans in, covering baby-soft lips with his own, chapped from the winter wind.

yoongi doesn’t remember much from that night, save for namjoon’s warmth and the taste of liquor on his tongue.

namjoon remembers more. he remembers the broken conversation, the tears, the laughter, the heady scent of a combination of liquor and cologne, and too many cups of unsweetened coffee tinged with under notes of musk. he remembers being yoongi, purposely booking his studio times so that there’s no way he would run into the older, even accidentally.no where near intoxicated enough to not regret his choices that night and he remembers avoiding

a month later, when namjoon and yoongi have still only exchanged less than a handful of words since the rooftop incident, as namjoon had silently coined it, both rappers and hoseok are called into the main office.

“you’re getting a dorm,” bang shihyuk tells them, “and two new members.”

they’re introduced to kim taehyung and jeon jungkook the day after. they move into the dorm the weekend after that, and it only becomes harder for namjoon to avoid yoongi, so much so that even the two newest members easily clue in to the unspoken tension between the two rappers.

“are namjoon and yoongi…”

jungkook let’s his sentence trail off before fully forming the question and hoseok grimaces, eyebrows furrowing together momentarily.

“nah,” hoseok mumbles eventually, one hand seeping sweaty bangs off his forehead, “i don’t think so.”

it’s not any of his business, really. what namjoon and yoongi choose to do with their free time doesn’t concern hoseok at all. but, if it’s gotten to the point where the other members are asking questions, then maybe it’s getting a bit out of hand. or at least, that’s the reasoning hoseok uses to justify cornering namjoon in the studio after a recording session.

“are you and yoongi…” hoseok starts, arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the doorway, effectively blocking off namjoon’s only exit.

namjoon frowns. “are me and yoongi what?”

“you know.” hoseok shrugs, eyes flicking over to the seat yoongi usually uses. “are you guys fighting, or something?”

namjoon tenses, finger hovering over the power button. “aren’t we always?”

there’s something bitter in his voice, something that shouldn’t be there at all.

“this is different to being at each other’s throats all the time,” hoseok quips, unfolding his arms and fixing namjoon with hard eyes. “don’t think i haven’t noticed joon. you’re avoiding him. why?”

“ off, jung. i’m not.”

he is. he knows he is. but namjoon just isn’t ready to give in to the ever-present tension between them. the same tension that weighs heavy in the space of cigarette smoke and too-long heartbeats.

“okay, fine.” hoseok relents, moving from the doorway with a long-suffering sigh. “just get your together fast. jungkook and taehyung have already caught on to your longing gazes.”

he leaves namjoon red and spluttering behind him, and stalks out of the studio, slamming the door straight into a flushed, cursing yoongi.

it gets better after that. if exchanging single-sentence conversation can be counted as “getting better”. and namjoon does his best to ignore the
yoongi places between them, only ever addressing namjoon with the first half of his name, just casual enough for pretend familiarity. they get two more members who learn about the lingering tension between the two rappers but who say nothing on the subject. yoongi stops frequenting the company rooftop and namjoon frequents it all the more, cigarette between his fingers to replace the songs he won’t write and the words he can’t say.distance