Kibum's tired. He really is tired of it but he doesn't do much about it either. Minho says it's because he's used to it, Nicole says it's because he a moron and deserves someone who will give him the time he needs. Kibum thinks it's cause he's in love and maybe blinded by it sometimes.

It's really one thing for Minho to comment on it. It's also another thing for Jinki to mention is. But where he really draws the line is when someone like Taemin who is just as busy as Jonghyun, if not more, throws a question his way on where he is and something stirs in him.

"Haven't been seeing much of Jonghyun at these parties, how is he?" Taemin asks, pulling out a chair next to Kibum.

Kibum slightly moves his body towards Taemin to answer him, "Busy as always."

"He works more than me!" Taemin laughs.

"You know how is he."

"Reason you fell for him, isn't it?" He wiggles his eyebrows at him and Kibum can't help but punch his shoulder lightly.

"Oh stop," he yelps.

When they're both done laughing Taemin's face turns serious and Kibum feels something stir inside. "In all seriousness," Taemin pauses. "Are you two alright?"

Kibum plays with his hands in his lap before he looks Taemin in the eyes, "Why wouldn't we be?"

"It's probably not my right to comment about it. But you two are important to me and maybe it's not the time or place to even ask or bring it up but I worry about you two," Taemin blurts out. "I know how you are and I know how he is and well..."

"I get it," Kibum nods as Taemin's words trail off.

He really does.

All their close friends do. Jonghyun can probably be considered a workaholic with the way he is. 

It’s like an unspoken thing that everyone who knows Jonghyun is aware of. He’s busy. He’s constantly busy with his job and the things he has to do for work. He misses social get togethers almost all the time, he arrives hours late to parties, sometimes he barely has time to call his own mom. Something that’s never been asked is how he finds time to be with Kibum. Despite them moving in together a year ago, it’s like they’re farther apart than ever it feels like at times. Jonghyun’s usually already gone when he wakes up and getting home when he’s nearly falling asleep. Lately, it’s like he has no time for anyone other than his job.

With Jonghyun it’s always been first work, second work, lastly work, and after that more work. It’s something Kibum admired, something he loved about Jonghyun because he wouldn’t stop at anything to get what he wanted, through hard work and dedication. Jonghyun's passionate about what we does. He loves to be the best at what he puts his efforts into. He's the most hardworking person he knows. It would always make Kibum work just as hard or strive for more because seeing Jonghyun made him feel like he could too. But the difference in the two is that Kibum would always put his heart before his job and Jonghyun always put his job before his heart.

"But we make it work you," Kibum smiles, patting Taemin on the shoulder. "Don't worry about us too much."

"I only worry about those I care about."

Kibum's heart breaks days after the conversation he had with Taemin. 

Kibum could deal with the canceled dates at first or the arriving late to parties they’re supposed to attend together. He didn’t let it hurt him that much when Jonghyun was busy overseas on Valentine’s Day or when he arrived late to his Kibum’s own birthday party, kissing his cheek and giving him the new bag he’s been eyeing for a really long time but he was too cheap to get it himself. He didn't care that Jonghyun would fall asleep during their movie nights or that he'd arrive late from work and he'd have to reheat their food for them. Kibum was fine with it all because he still felt important to Jonghyun. Despite being tired he'd try his best to spend the time he could with Kibum. Even though he probably had his mind filled with things, he made Kibum feel special somehow.

What he couldn't deal with is Jonghyun forgetting what is considered in a lot relationships, if not all, an important date. Their anniversary. 

Kibum planned out the whole evening, he was even ready to bring up marriage and finally getting tied down to each other for the rest of their lives. Kibum doesn’t want to say he slaved over the stove for hours but he did. He also doesn’t want to say he fussed around the house decorating it in flowers and candle lights and soft music but he did. And Jonghyun didn’t show up that night, he didn’t answer any of Kibum’s text messages and when Kibum finally found the courage to call him his heart broke at what he was told.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun said before he could even greet his boyfriend. “I’m really busy right now, babe. Whatever it is it can wait until later or tomorrow, please.”

His heart fell out of his chest and his mouth went dry because he didn’t even remember. He could put up with so much but not this. Kibum just hung up and curled into himself on their couch.

Now here he is staring at the wall with his cheeks drying from all the tears he's shed. He feels pathetic. Probably more than pathetic and if he ever finds a word to describe how he feels he'd say it over and over to himself. He doesn't want to feel this way is the worst part to him. Kibum doesn't like feeling weak, he hates feeling useless or small. He doesn't want to act like the heart broken boyfriend that seems to wait around for their partner but he somehow is. 

But Kibum can’t help but cry when he finally forces himself up and puts everything away. When he collects the last of the petals he gathered around their bed he can’t do anything other than feel his heart fall out of his chest because he can’t compete with Jonghyun’s work and he never will be able to. What he admired so much is what is becoming their down fall. Kibum knows Jonghyun loves him, he knows it in his heart, but he also know that’s not enough right now. Jonghyun is doing wonder at works, he’s getting all these opportunities, more than they had ever imagined but Kibum is being left behind, he can’t keep up and he can’t do anything to stop it from continuing. He can't be as strong as he thought he'd be and it kills him.

"He didn't even remember." Kibum mutters as the last one goes out.

Are we even right for one another?  is his last thought before darkness overcomes him and he falls asleep.  

Kibum doesn't remember when he got into bed but he wakes up to rustling sounds and a beeping phone coming from the kitchen. He just pushes the covers off him as he goes to meet Jonghyun before he goes to work but he stops in his tracks when he sees a suitcase and bag by the door. He rubs his eyes to make sure that's indeed what he's seeing.

“Jonghyun,” Kibum says as he enters their kitchen, watching Jonghyun as moves around getting things out of the fridge. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Japan,” Jonghyun gives him a small smile, pouring hot water from the kettle into a tumbler.

“You didn’t tell me,” Kibum’s eyebrows furrow.

“I didn’t think I would have to, I fly out a lot." Jonghyun shrugs. "I think you’d be used to it.”

Kibum feels helpless but he really needs to just talk to him, “We need to talk.”

“Can it wait until I get back from Japan?” Jonghyun looks down at his watch. “I have my time counted, I can’t waste time.”

“I didn’t know talking to your boyfriend was timed wasted," Kibum snaps.

“That’s not how I meant it,” Jonghyun tells him. “Why are you being this way this morning?”

“Do you remember what yesterday was?”

Jonghyun’s watch beeps and he looks desperately at the time, grabbing his luggage in one hand and carry out in another.

“Thursday.”

“That’s not funny," Kibum's voice becomes irritated. "Do you really not remember?”

“Stop playing games Kibum and tell me what day it was,” Jonghyun rolls his eyes.

“I shouldn’t have to.”

“Then why are you arguing with me?”’

“Because it feels like I’m the only one in this relationship anymore." He accuses. "It's like I’m the only one that cares.”

“Don’t say that,” Jonghyun says softly. “You know I love you and care about us.”

“Then why is after five years of being together you’d forget?”

“What?” Jonghyun looks up from the paper he was looking at, confusion etched all over his face.

“May 25, Jonghyun.”

Realization finally dawns on his face and he panics. “Oh , Kibum I’m so sorry-“ Jonghyun’s phone starts to ring before he can finish his apology and he holds up a finger indicating a second as he answers it. “Yes sir, I know sir. I’ll be there. Don’t worry. I have everything I need."

When he's done he stares up at him, "Kibum, please can we talk about this when I come back I have to go.”

“You say that all the time it doesn’t happen.”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he starts walking through the door and Kibum jumps towards the handle blocking him from leaving.

“You don’t keep them, please stay for a moment and talk about this.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Make some," Kibum practically begs.

“Kibum...”

“If I mean anything to you, you’ll stay and talk about this we can’t keep running in circles like this.”

“You mean so much to me, Kibum." Jonghyun pleads. "But I really have to go.”

“Jonghyun if you walk out that door without sitting down and talking to me so help me God.”

“Stop being difficult.”

“You leave and we’re over Jonghyun."

Jonghyun eyes widen and Kibum can feel his heart racing he didn't mean to say that but part of him isn't willing to take it back.

"We're what?"

“You walk through that door and we’re through. You know just as much as I do if we don’t talk right now we don’t ever talk about it. You leave and we’re done.”

Jonghyun’s phone starts to ring again and Kibum can see the mental battle through his eyes. He can see it in the way he looks between the door handle and him but Kibum heart sinks when he looks into Jonghyun's eyes once more. He knows Jonghyun better than he knows himself sometimes. He's never been one to accept a loss but he realizes what Jonghyun chose the moment he places a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you, you know that. I’ll see you when I come back.”

Kibum can't do anything but move aside.

Kibum doesn’t stop him from going, he wants to, but it’d be useless, he’s made up his mind, he made up the choice for both of them and where they stand. He didn’t mean for it to go this way but part of him feel like it the end of their story was always going to end in heartbreak anyway.