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Mingyu isn’t sure when he starts sleeping on the left side of his bed in anticipation of someone joining him midway through the night, or waking up to Wonwoo’s sleeping face right beside him in the morning. He isn't sure when he starts leaving a dim nightlight on either, but Mingyu thinks he has a vague idea. (It's because Wonwoo doesn't like the dark.)

It had begun as a one-off thing, when Wonwoo was having not-so-pleasant dreams one night and had walked straight into his best friend's room for some company. Mingyu opened his arms in invitation, and Wonwoo accepted by curling up meekly in his bed and pressing his face against the younger boy’s chest. It certainly wasn’t supposed to become a habit of any sort, but the dreams kept on coming, so Wonwoo kept on returning.

Mingyu doesn't particularly feel like stopping Wonwoo from coming over either. What kind of friend would that make him? Nevermind that Wonwoo takes up nearly half the space and makes the bed ten times warmer, or that he continually disrupts Mingyu's sleep on a nightly basis— Mingyu would never turn Wonwoo away. He doesn't have the strength and heart to.

(It's not like Mingyu can sleep well either, knowing that Wonwoo is facing his nightmares alone.)

Mingyu wishes Wonwoo could see just how precious and important he is to him, with his soft-spoken personality and caring nature which is better expressed through actions, not words.

Mingyu wishes Wonwoo could see past the awkward, bow-legged teenager that couldn't sing too well, and the shy, withdrawn boy that had broken down over and over again because of a misstep during practice, or because his voice had cracked during their performance.

Mingyu wishes Wonwoo could see just how brave he is to overcome the challenges they all had faced during their trainee years and then some, because Wonwoo burdens himself far more than the rest of them, always trying to prove to himself that no, this wasn't a mistake and that he does belong to their group with every fiber of his being.

So he tries to help in whatever way he can. When Wonwoo turns up standing beside his bed frame nearly in tears, Mingyu pulls him into his arms and hugs him tight, whispering soft encouragements and singing gentle lullabies. Mingyu knows he doesn't have the best voice— he's off pitch and off beat too many times in too little minutes, but Wonwoo always falls asleep sooner rather than later with his lullabies. That's why he does it, every single night.

Mingyu knows it works because although Wonwoo would wake up the next day with reddened eyes from the sting of tears, they always glistened with hidden gratefulness, and an innocent purity that only Wonwoo could have. Mingyu tells himself that he's just being a good friend, nothing more, but he knows it's a problem when he starts wanting Wonwoo's presence on those rare nights where he doesn't appear.

It's too late when Mingyu finally realizes what the pounding in his heart meant whenever Wonwoo snuggled into his embrace, head pressed against the crook of Mingyu’s neck and fingers gripping onto the frayed hem of his shirt. Mingyu had been running his fingers through Wonwoo's hair absently while he slept, as he had done on a few occasions before when all of a sudden it hit him that no, this wasn't what normal friends did and , he was in love with Wonwoo.

He had looked down at the older boy in his arms afterwards and gently brushed his thumb down Wonwoo's pale cheek, stopping at the corner of his lips. Pink and shining, they were faintly illuminated by the glow from the nightlight on the bedside table. Wonwoo's eyes were closed in deep sleep, and his dark eyelashes brushed against the curve of his cheeks in a long, sweeping motion. Exhaling forcefully, Mingyu had fallen back against his pillows in slight despair, because it was one thing to fall in love with someone and another thing entirely if that person was your best friend.

Mingyu doesn't believe for one second that Wonwoo will ever feel the same about him. He's not that naive. He hopes that Wonwoo never finds out, because their friendship is more important to him than anything else in the world, and Mingyu will not be the one who selfishly ends it. Wonwoo is only seeking comfort from his best friend, Mingyu forces himself to think, and nothing more. Wonwoo is too lovely, too sweet, too pure, and Mingyu isn't any of these things.

So, he hides. He keeps Wonwoo a little further, a little more distant.

Mingyu refuses to let himself read into the way Wonwoo slumps his shoulders when Mingyu no longer brushes his fringe away from his forehead; he refuses to think about the reason behind why Wonwoo's eyes shine with unshed tears when Mingyu no longer holds him as tightly in his arms through the nights. He will not be the one foolishly finding meaning out of nothing, or the one who then breaks his heart because of it, even though Mingyu desperately wants to believe that he has affected Wonwoo in some way or another with his recent ambivalence.

He doesn't want to get his hopes up only to have them crushed along with his heart and soul, because if that happens Mingyu will lose himself and Wonwoo, and there's nothing in his wildest dreams that could ever hurt more than that.

It's almost ironic how easy loving Wonwoo is. Sweet, darling Wonwoo, who brings injured stray animals back to the dorm to nurse them to health despite his allergies, who silently covers everyone with jackets when they fall asleep in the practice room from exhaustion, who holds himself together through the day so that he doesn't fall apart in front of an audience.

Wonwoo smiles at Mingyu like he's sunshine after rain, a rainbow after the storm. Wonwoo runs to Mingyu and fixes up the bruises he gets from dance practice with teddy bear bandaids and soft hugs. Wonwoo trusts Mingyu wholeheartedly, enough to find solace in him during the bad nights, and all Mingyu can think about is how he can't forsake this trust— he can't fall in love with Wonwoo.

It's (barely) enough for Mingyu to love Wonwoo from afar, and each time Mingyu pulls away, another piercing arrow marks its place in his heart. For several months, Mingyu makes peace with himself, ignoring the inevitable racing of his heart from Wonwoo's light touches and tightness of his throat from Wonwoo's soft laughter. It's fine, Mingyu thinks, that his feelings still persist after so long. He'd just have to give himself some more time for them to fade. They would, eventually.

And Mingyu would have gone through with giving up on Wonwoo, too, if he hadn't realized with a start that maybe he wasn't just hallucinating impossible dreams, but that Wonwoo actually could be in…

It doesn't hit Mingyu right away, the realization that Wonwoo hasn’t cried once in the recent weeks, (although arguably it should have because Mingyu has spent so many long nights wiping away Wonwoo's unconscious tears), but when it finally does, Mingyu is left speechless.

He turns the tap to shut off the water flow, and silence immediately floods the small bathroom. It isn't just the crying that has stopped, Mingyu registers vaguely in his mind, the toothbrush in his hand forgotten. He peeks out of the bathroom and at the closed door of his room before looking back at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes are lined red and there are pale blue shadows beneath them.

It's only now that he's begun thinking that Mingyu also realizes— Wonwoo has been skipping the whole wake-up-after-nightmare routine and going straight to the bunk-over-with-him portion. He tries to think about the last time he's been waken up by Wonwoo in the middle of the night, and finds to his shock that he doesn't remember. 

Tonight is no different. Mingyu has barely resumed brushing his teeth when Wonwoo walks into his room, dressed in a large pullover (that Mingyu distinctly remembers purchasing) while hugging a pillow to his chest. His hair is untidy, pitch black strands falling in all directions over his forehead. Wonwoo smiles as he catches Mingyu's eye and does a little wave, and Mingyu has to remember to keep his mouth closed because he's a little slack-jawed, captivated by the upturn of Wonwoo's lips. The mint toothpaste is sticky against his teeth.

Wonwoo climbs into Mingyu's bed and makes himself comfortable, leaning against the wall as he unfolds the blankets carefully into a single square of fabric. Mingyu watches with his heart beating way too fast from anxiety, dumbfounded by his realisation. He doesn't dare hope. He rinses his mouth before rushing over to his bed, kneeling on the mattress as he shifts closer to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo only has the time to flash a confused smile before Mingyu is clasping the older boy's hands firmly between his. Mingyu looks at him and takes a deep breath; if Wonwoo has any inkling of Mingyu's thoughts, he doesn't give an indication.

"Wonwoo, you haven't had a nightmare today," Mingyu says, with a soft voice that's just a twinge too hesitant.

The older boy blinks before flashing Mingyu a knowing smile and shrugging. His slanted eyes are curved in amusement, and Mingyu has never welcomed anything else more than the upturn of Wonwoo's lips. "Yes, I haven't had a nightmare for a long time."

"You haven't, so why are you here? Why are you still sitting on my bed and wearing my clothes?" Mingyu tightens his grip on Wonwoo's hands a little harder, almost afraid that if he lets go, Wonwoo would disappear like an extinguishing flame.

Wonwoo laughs, and his smile turns fond. "Why else would I be here?"

Wonwoo's next words knock the breath right out of Mingyu's lungs, and he can't breathe. His heart is hammering away in his ribcage, and there's a rush of emotions he cannot even begin to decipher flooding his mind. Wonwoo's lips are moving to say something else, but Mingyu can't hear him because he's falling, falling, falling so much harder for the beautiful boy with the smiling eyes sitting across from him. Right now, Mingyu doesn't care that he's short of breath, or that he's in very real danger of falling over himself in shock, because really, he knows all that he needs to know.

"I love you, Kim Mingyu," Wonwoo says, eyes radiant with sincerity. "And I know you love me, too."

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a/n:  written on a whim last night and beta-ed by byunbaekcute! 

(i was actually writing a short drabble for a prompt i saw on tumblr, but then i wrote too much context for its background and here we are with this one-shot instead that's completely unrelated to the original prompt woo)

thanks for reading! if you enjoyed it, upvotes and thoughts would be much appreciated! ♡

[160809— irrelevant thoughts] i periodically look through my old works to clean them up and reword awkward sentences that i cringe at now, so there's quite a fair bit that has been added and removed haha it's always a learning process when it comes to writing! :-)