You and Namjoon were an on-and-off couple. You argued, both of you never apologized, you both broke up, and then a few days later, you got back together with him.

This time was not any different.

You were offered a job abroad, which you gladly accepted after talking it over with Namjoon, who said it would be a test of your love, to see if it was meant to be.

Before leaving, you packed everything up with Namjoon’s help, you spent your last day and night with him. Waking up, you covered his bare body and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. After showering, you got dressed, entered the kitchen to find him standing there, with the sheet you covered him, wrapped around his waist.

Namjoon was cooking you breakfast, and the action made you smile.

You and he ate in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company. When both of you were finished, he got changed, your things to the car, and took you to the airport.

After embracing each other and whispering your farewells, Namjoon watched you go. You waved at him, going up the escalator, watching his figure slowly fade, until he was no longer in your vision.

With a sad smile was left residing on your face, you went to your appropriate area and waited for your flight to be called.

Waiting almost ten minutes, your flight was called. You grabbed your ticket, went in line, and soon boarded the plane.

Deciding to sit on the seat by the window, you quickly put on your ear phones and listened to music the whole time.

After long hours, you have finally arrived at the new destination. Everything was a blur. But to your advantage, you knew the language pretty well, and adapted quite well with the help of your new co-workers. A week has now gone by and to your dislike, the only type of communication you had with Namjoon was texting, and his responses were getting shorter by the day.

A long day of work passed by, and you looked at your phone. It was morning where he lived and it was currently late at night for you. Deciding you wanted to see and hear Namjoon’s voice, you tried to video chat.

He answered after twenty seconds, and seeing his face brought a wide smile to yours. Your smile instantly vanished with his next words.

“Hey _____, I’m pretty busy, can I chat with you later? And I’ll be the one to contact you, what do you say?” Namjoon asked, awfully cheerful.

Giving him a forced smile, you agreed.

Right when you were about to hang up, you heard more voices coming from his side. It was quite feminine, and you knew there were other females with him.

“Who’s that?” You questioned, not understanding why he was willing to not see you after being separated for a while.

“No one,” he said, “I got to go, bye, love you!”

Looking at your phone with the text “Call Over” blinking before disappearing, leaving you to stare at your phone wallpaper that consisted of you and him making silly face expressions towards the camera.

Releasing a puff of air, you angrily put your phone to charge and got ready for bed. Fine, if he did not want to talk to you, or at least make the effort, then why should you?

Laying down on your bed, you rolled over and grabbed a pillow, hugging it tight. Hot tears spilled from your eyes, but you angrily wiped them away. Closing your eyes, you let the darkness take away any thoughts you had and slept the night away.

The next day, you checked your phone, and not surprised, you had no messages or missed calls. Sighing, you looked at the time and got ready for work. On your way to the building, you grabbed your phone out of your purse, and sent Namjoon a text message asking why he had not called, texted, or video chatted with you.

Seeing how it soon turned to “read,” you knew he had seen your message. But no reply came.

This was infuriating to you. This is why you always fought with him. The lack of communication always caused you to feel lonely and that you were the only one who cared about the relationship. But after getting back together, before leaving, things were going great. There was more communication, talks about feelings, and passion.

Now, things were going downhill all over again. Not only is he becoming distant, he is also becoming more mysterious, for example, not answering your question of whose female voice was with him yesterday.

The thought angered you once again. You could tolerate not having enough communication, because you know you would speak your mind and tell him how exactly you felt and you both could work with it, but what you cannot stand is an affair.

Imagining Namjoon going to someone else for love and affection while still being with you lit a fire of anger inside of you.

You were definitely going to have a talk with Namjoon, no matter what today. Unfortunately for you, you were deep in work for your company. You worked hard, and every time you arrived home, you were dead beat tired, so the only thing you have done is sleep.

You have also started to reply slowly to your boyfriend’s texts, forgetting the feminine voice issue completely, now not caring if he even bothered to reply. It would sometimes take you days to answer, and Namjoon took notice of that.

This time, he tried to video chat with you.

Your phone started ringing, notifying you that someone was requesting to video chat with you. Seeing Namjoon’s picture, you debated on whether to answer. Feeling guilty about how you were questioning on answering, you answered, at least to tell him you were quite busy going to a restaurant with some co-workers.

After clicking the accept button, Namjoon’s face appeared. Seeing him for the first time in three weeks made you feel strange. You were expecting to at least feel some sort of happiness, but all you felt was sadness and nostalgia.

“Hey, _____,” he said, giving you an awkward smile.

“Hey, Namjoon. Um, I was wondering if we could chat later, I’m going to meet with some people soon.” You said, noticing how his smile gave away with your words.

“Oh, that’s no problem.” Namjoon responded, “Do you want me to call you or…?”

“I’ll call you later, will you have time later?” You asked, looking away to see that you have made it to the restaurant, with your co-workers standing in front of the door.

“Yup, then I’ll be expecting yo—”

He got interrupted by one of your male coworkers coming up to you and wrapping you up in an embrace as a greeting.

“Hi, _____. Glad to know you made it,” he said, after releasing you.

“Likewise,” you said, before noticing that you were still video chatting with Namjoon.

Turning back to look at him, Namjoon seemed to have his eyebrows furrowed, with a small frown on his face. “Who’s that?”

That question suddenly reminded you of the time when he did not answer you when you asked him the same question on your first video chat. Deciding to be petty, you replied the same thing he told you. “No one. Got to go, bye, love you!”

Hanging up on the chat, you put your phone back into your pocket and went with your coworkers to the restaurant.

The day went by smoothly, and you finally had some free time. Looking at the clock, you decided you had some time to shower before you called Namjoon to video chat. Just because he never got to you back on that time, does not mean you will do the same. Even though you decided to get “revenge” that time on the phone, you decided it was better to have a serious talk. Because, let’s face it, you honestly missed and still loved that man.

After showering, you changed into your casual clothing and called Namjoon to video chat with him.

He did not answer, which only caused you to grow annoyed. So you called him again, and the same thing happened.

After getting repeatedly rejected, you decided to write him a long and detailed text messages, telling him all of your pent-up frustrations.

“Namjoon, I am getting so tired of you not answering my request for a video chat. You told me you had no plans, and I was really looking forward to see and hear from you again. It breaks my heart. Do you really not want to see me? Did I do something wrong? Was it my coworker? Because that’s who it was. I’m sorry for acting childish, but you did the same back then that one time. Listen, I don’t want us to become distant just because we’re in a long distance relationship, and it’s only been a month! I still want us to work. What about you? What do you feel? I want to know. I feel lonely, and I miss you. Don’t you feel the same? Please, respond… I love you.”

A minute went by and the dreaded “read” came upon next to your message, signaling you that had read your message.

Not knowing what to expect, you got a message that broke your heart into a million pieces.

“Let’s break up.”

In shock, you only texted back one word.

“Why?”

You watched, with your heart in your throat, as “typing” appeared under his name. After about two minutes, you finally got a response.

“I don’t think we’ll work out. I’m sorry.”

Again, you replied with the same word.

“…Why?”

You knew he read it, the evidence was there with the “read” next to your message, but he did not bother to reply. But you needed closure, you wanted to know why he was breaking up with you. This was not the first time he has ended your relationship, and you know you have ended it before, but it hurts as if it was the first time.

Fresh salty tears flowed freely from your eyes, and you had to grab at your chest to stop your heart from hurting.

Things were getting better, but then you accepted this job and things became worse. Was it your fault? Was it your fault for accepting this job? Was it your fault for wanting to provide for yourself? Was it your fault for being so damn good at what you do?

No. It was not.

Knowing it was best to let everything out, you cried your heart out. You cried until your eyes hurt. You cried until your throat was raw. You cried until you could not cry anymore.

Calming yourself, you went to your bed and wrapped your covers around, and looked at your phone. After hours, he still had not responded, giving you an answer.

But that one question still haunted your mind: why?

With that thought in mind, you let the night keep all your sad feelings away and let sleep consume you.

You woke up with tears