"You should slowly try, Cheolyong-shi. It's going to take time but it will eventually get better. Trust me."

            Mir sighed. Of course the doctor would say that every single time at the end of their session. And sure, Mir would want to believe the doctor but it was hard. Really hard. Walking down the hallway, Mir stopped and stared at few of people standing in front of the elevator, waiting for the bell to ding and so they could ride it down or up, wherever their destination was waiting for.

            Mir contemplated. Maybe once was enough for today. He had came here this morning and chose to ride the elevator. He barely got a hold of himself as the moving box squeezed him into his imaginary tight confined dark place even though it was only to the third floor. It was slightly better that morning because there were lots of trustworthy looking people in the elevator with him, two nurses and one doctor, so he felt slightly comforted and safe. But he didn't think he would want to go through that for the second time in the day.

            Turning around on his heels, Mir headed towards the stairs, climbing down slowly and carefully. Just as his feet touched the last steps, his phone ringing with G.O.D's new songs. He glanced on the caller ID before picking it up,

            "Yes, Byunghee hyung?"

            "Where are you, maknae? We have recording in thirty minutes."

            Mir glanced at his wristwatch and gasped. Did he really took that much of time for this session? "Yea, hyung, I'm coming." Pocketing his phone back into his jacket pocket, he ran out of the hospital building towards the parking lot. Damn, he didn't realize how much time had passed as he had to calm himself down first in front of the doctor after getting off the elevator this morning before starting their routine session for the day.

            His hyungs didn't know about this problem of his and Mir never intended to let any of them knew. They had much bigger things to worry about. And Mir was already an adult. He didn't need someone to fuss over his problem. He could handle it by himself. It wasn't like Mir was always this way. He was fine with riding elevator, letting himself in a dark close space. He never had any problem with all of that until that day...

            No one knew about this. Mir never told a single soul, not even his family. It was just a year ago when he went to do his annual welfare activities in Peru during his long break. His friends there decided to invite him into an exploration of newly opened cave. Mir was of course, excited to join. He had been to jungle before. He lived in mountain. Any activities related to nature would always easily gained his interest.

            There were three of them and one of them was a girl. When they had reached the cave, there was a signboard informing them the place wasn't all ready yet but since they had came a long way there, they decided to enter anyway. And it was worth it at first. The cave was beautiful and Mir was just admiring the view of variously shaped molded stones on the wall when the girl in their group pointed out a small tunnel reaching towards the exit.

            They took the tunnel instead of trailing back towards their entry point just now with the girl in the middle of them two and Mir was the last one to crawl after. It wasn't that bad at first and it was a good experience to Mir when 'it' suddenly happened. Mir felt the two in front of him were leaving him fast and he felt the wall around his body was crushing him tight. The path was getting narrower and smaller. He was stuck! He was trapped! He called for help with his shaky voice, his breath came out ragged and forced. He was dead scared thinking he couldn't get out until the other guy crawled back into the tiny hole, facing him, shining his torchlight in between them, calmly asking Mir to control his breathing and slowly following him out. It took more time than expected but Mir was finally out and he swore he wouldn't use such path anymore.

            And Mir thought it was all over and the bad memory would fade into the background of his mind until one day, three months ago, his 91-line fellows decided to play a game on him. It was just a harmless prank. Locking him in a wardrobe but it had caused Mir losing his consciousness and he was sent to hospital. Mir brushed it off in front of his fellow 91-line that he was just slightly panic and tired from all the schedules he had hence him fainting. Even though his words worked on his friends, it didn't work on himself. He knew right then and there, he had a problem. And he knew he needed help. So he went for a help, hoping this would end because after that incident, he realized, he couldn't even ride an elevator alone anymore. Though he could do that when he had people around him, he still had that unpleasant feeling settling at the pit of his stomach every time he was inside the confined box, praying profusely for the elevator to reach the level he was heading faster.

            "Yah! You're so late." GO ran towards Mir who just got out of his car and pulled on the boy's hand, dragging the younger behind him. "Where were you?"

            "I have meeting just now." Mir answered as vaguely as he could and was more than grateful GO didn't question further, otherwise he wouldn't know how it would turn out. Mir was never a good liar. He was good in keeping secret but he was not that good. Especially not in front of 87-line.

            "Finally!" Seungho exclaimed from the end of the hallway and Mir realized the leader was standing in front of the elevator.

            Of course... Of course they would ride and elevator. The recording studio was on eleventh floor. What was he expecting anyway? Mir took in deep breath, already feeling slightly nauseous. It's okay. I can do it. Just bear with it. Mir kept trying to comfort himself while the three of them waited in front of the elevator.

            The bell ding, almost too loud in Mir's hearing. Okay... This is it. Mir watched as his two other hyungs stepped into the elevator before holding his breath and let himself in right after. He immediately huddled at the corner of the box, praying over and over again for some strength to get through this. Fortunate enough for Mir, Seungho and GO was busy discussing about their oncoming recording to notice how Mir was being too quiet and was slightly pale.

            As the door was closing, Mir prepared himself but a hand shot in between the door. The elevator door was opened again and never would Mir expected he would saw that face. It was Joon. Just like Mir, Seungho and GO, it seemed that Joon was just as surprised to see them here. A coincidence that was almost laughable.

            Mir watched as Joon seemed hesitant to get into the elevator until GO coldly voiced out, "Are you getting in or not?"

            Joon's eyes slightly widened in surprise. Biting his lips, he enter the elevator and pushed on the thirteenth floor button, taking a spot at the other corner of the elevator opposite to Mir. If Mir wasn't already so preoccupied in controlling the rythm of his heartbeat and breathing, he would have at least offer a smile to Joon. But he couldn't afford that. At least no right at this moment.

            It had been what? More than a year since Joon and Sanghyun left MBLAQ? And them leaving wasn't what people would call a clean farewell but rather more like a nasty breakup, thus Mir could totally understand the way Seungho and GO had reacted to this unexpected meeting.

            "Hey, it's been a long time."

            Mir heard that. Of course he heard that even though it was barely a whisper, because somehow Joon was already standing so close to his side trying to make a conversation out of awkward starting. Mir only glance once at Joon before his eyes immediately went back to red neon number on the upper part of the elevator. It was just a second floor and it had feel like two hours in this box for Mir. He didn't know how much longer he could hold up.

            "A-are you still mad?" Joon asked in a small guilt-ridden voice, slight hope in his voice that Mir didn't miss.

            All Mir could offer was a shake of head and when Joon tried to talk again, the elevator door was opened again. Another shock. Another bone chilling silent moment. Another curse on the fate that was playing with them today. Almost bitter laugh on this ridiculous coincidence.

            It seemed that Sanghyun had exactly similar carbon-copy reaction as Joon. His sleepy eyes widened and his pupils moved from one figure to another. He blinked a few times before getting into the elevator, pushing on the button towards the ground floor silently.

            Mir wasn't sure if after the duo left MBLAQ behind, had the duo been keeping in touch with each other. Most probably yes. However, Mir couldn't find it in himself to care as his eyes watched warily how the elevator door was closing again.

            "Annyeonghaseyo, hyungs..." Sanghyun greeted after a moment of silence.

            Mir glanced slightly towards the 87-line. It seemed that they didn't have any intention to respond to that greeting.

            Sanghyun then turned towards Mir. Disappointment clearly painted his face. He smiled slightly at the maknae. "Hi, Cheolyong-ie." He waved at the maknae.

            Again, Mir couldn't offer a perfect respond to that other than just a slight nod of his head. He couldn't even smile as he was biting hard on his inner cheeks in effort of trying to control himself and both his hands were hard on the long sleeves of his jacket.

            Sanghyun sighed and leaned back on the wall, exchanging a look with Joon. Joon inhaled deeply, trying once again to start a conversation. "Are you guys here for a recording?" When the 87-line were unbudging, he directed his gaze towards the maknae in hope Mir wouldn't leave him disappointed as well, but Mir did.

            Not that Mir intentionally did so. His common sense wasn't working so well right about now and all he could think about was that he want to get off as fast as he could. Escape from this small confined space. To finally able to breathe deeply in relief. To finally feeling safe again.

            Joon sighed harshly. "Are you guys going to keep ignoring us?" When GO snorted as response, it became the last on Joon and the actor snapped as he grabbed on GO's shouder, pulling the man to properly face him. "Stop being so childish." He warned.

            "Hyung, stop it." Sanghyun tried to push the two apart but got thrown back when GO flung his arm off and took a hold of Joon's collar.

            "Childish? Is that what it seem?" GO seethed quietly.

            "That's enough, Byunghee." Seungho clapped his hand on GO's shoulder. "Don't waste your time with these people."

            GO smirked, pulling himself away. "You're right."

            "That's too much." Sanghyun frowned, unable to hold back again.

            Mir kept on counting all the while his other hyungs were brooding in fight. Just two more floors. Two more floors. He almost jumped on his feet impatiently, couldn't wait for the door to open and for him to finally escape this frightening compartment and for him to praise himself for being able to hold himself for so long. His features brightened up slightly when he realized there was one more floor to go that he voiced it out loud in anticipation. "One more floor."

            All the other four look back at Mir weirdly whom since had his eyes glued on the neon red number. 10. he counted in his heart not realizing how Joon rose his brow in realization.

            "No, you're not escaping this. We need to talk." With that, Joon pressed on all the buttons possible in the elevator almost smashing them and as expected, the elevator rock slightly and jerk into a stop. The lighting flickered a few times but didn't shut off entirely, fortunately. "Now, we can talk." Joon said.

            "Are you crazy? We have schedule!" Seungho snapped, pushing on emergency button. "Hello? Someone there?"

            GO fished out his phone but cursed under his breath when he realized there was no coverage in this confinement. "You're so dead!" GO jabbed his index finger on Joon's chest with wild look in his eyes.

            "We need to talk." Joon repeated.

            "Why are you so selfish? Can't you think of anything other than yourselves?" Seungho exclaimed in frustration.

            Sanghyun stepped forward. "Changsun hyung is right. There's no guarantee we will have this chance again. Since it's already come to this, let's talk. Calmly..."

            "Talk my foo-"

            By that time, Mir had already tuned out his other hyungs. His initial shock had already passed and the reality slowly seeped through every pore in his body. He felt his palms started sweating, his heart beat loudly against his ribs, his sight twisting and turning and make nausea probing at the back of his now dry throat worsened, his stomach tightened and those uneasy feeling intensified, hot and cold intermittently blanketing his frame causing him to sweat and shiver at the same time, his breathing started to quicken yet it felt like he didn't get much oxygen into his lungs, feeling suffocated, his ears buzzing so loudly it was deafening. I'm having a panic attack. He realized.

            "-yong. Cheolyong! What is it? Look at me! What the hell is happening? Hyung!"

            Mir blinked slightly. When had he fallen on the floor? He was now half lying on the floor, his back resting against Sanghyun's chest as the older man tried to get his attention.

            "Cheolyong. Oh my god. He's so pale." GO panicked as he cupped the maknae's cold cheeks into his own warm hands. The fight between four of them were long forgotten once they noticed something was wrong with their maknae.

            None of them act as fast when Mir's knees buckled and the younger hit the floor with a loud thud. Sanghyun was the first to break out of the trance and rushed to Mir's side, pulling the messed up trembling bundle from the cold floor.

            Seungho kneeled beside Mir with worries lurking in his sharp eyes despite the composed look he wore on the outside. "Cheolyong. Breath slowly." He ordered when he saw how the maknae's lips were turning blue and his wide eyes were unfocused.

            "Cheolyong. Look at me." Joon tried as well, removing the stray strand of bleach hair from Mir's eyes. "Come on Cheolyong. Look at me."

            His pleas went unheard, at least to Mir. He was too busy fighting with the fear inside of himself to focus on what his other hyungs trying to make him do. He just barely caught one or two sentences the older four were talking about.

            "I think he's having panic attack." Seungho said, and though he looked calm, his voice slightly wavered and his hands trembled as he ed Mir's jacket and subsequently, his shirt, letting the maknae some ease to breath.

            "Panic attack?" Joon echoed, throwing his watery gaze back to weakened Mir. And then, it hit him like a thousand bricks. The way Mir was acting since the very beginning and now this. "Does he has some kind of phobia?"

            "I don't know." Seungho shrugged while GO still trying to get Mir to look at him. "He never said anything about it."

            "It's my fault..." Joon breathed out, almost letting his tears streaked down his face when he felt cold shaky hand on his own hand. "Cheolyong?"

            The other three pair of eyes concentrated on the two holding hands while Joon tried to search Mir's soft brown orbs, feeling hope rose inside him though it might just be coincidence that Mir's hand fall on top of his, but still, it gave him hope.

            "Cheolyong, come on, breath like me." By this time, Mir was scarily pale and the blue color on Mir's usually red lips were alarming, least to say. Joon took hold of Mir's limp hands and flattened the palm on his chest. "Just like me." He said slowly and breath in and out just as slow.

            "You can do it, Cheolyong." This time it was GO. He took one of Mir's hand out of Joon's grip and bend it slightly until the palm was flattened on Mir's own chest. "Just like Changsun. Feel it."

            "Good, maknae. That's it. You got it, boy." Trace of smile started showing on Seungho's lips once Mir slowly following Joon's deep breathing. "Keep going."

            Even Sanghyun tightened his embrace on the maknae from behind, planting his nose into Mir's silky locks, whispering encouragement and grateful words for Mir's effort.

            It took time but Mir slowly regained his good breathing technique though the youngest was still droopy and weak. At first, nothing could went past the large tall blocks of wall of his fear until he felt cotton material under his fingertips and later he felt it move up and down. Up and down...

            Trying to focus, he saw GO taking his hand and putting his hand on his own chest. The loud deafening buzzing sound in his ears blocked him from hearing whatever words GO was uttering until his eyes flickered from GO to Joon who was kneeling in front of him, next to GO and he saw his other hand was on Joon's chest.

            Up and down... Up and down...

            In and out... In and out...

            Inhale and Exhale... Inhale and Exhale...

            Finally getting what his two hyungs trying to get him to do, he tried his best to copy Joon. Each time Joon's chest rise up, he inhaled. At first, it was hard. His breath kept fluctuating and it was hard to control but by time, it became easier and later, he heard Seungho's gentle voice encouraging him to keep doing the same thing and he heard Sanghyun's caring whispering and thanking words for trying giving him strength to keep going.

            Mir blinked tiredly when he felt an arm slipped under his back in between him and Sanghyun. "Give him to me." Seungho said, and Mir felt his body was lifted up in the air. He saw Seungho smiling down at him. "You did good kid."

            Mir threw his gaze towards the elevator door and felt relief washed him over like a bucket of cold water. The elevator door was opened and a few technicians were there, waiting on the outside, asking if any of them were injured and when one of them tried to help by taking Mir out of Seungho's hold, Seungho politely decline, taking Mir back towards the ground floor using the stairs this time. Mir's eyes flickered past Seungho's shoulder and saw the other three trailing after them two.

            Exhausted, Mir curled against Seungho and mumbled against the leader's chest. "I'm sorry."

            "You should be. You worried us to death." Joon was suddenly walking by Seungho's side, patting Mir's bleached hair but retracted his hand only to cup the back of his head where GO had just left a painful loud smack.

            "Yah! It's your fault. How can you be stupid enough to broke the elevator?" GO nagged, but this time it didn't sound as hateful as when they had their fight in the elevator. No palpable tension surrounding the air around them. It sounded almost... Normal... Like back in the days when they were still friends. Mir always knew his two oldest hyungs couldn't stay mad at Joon and Sanghyun. Each of them were special to each other. They just need to be locked together in one place for them to forget about any conflict could possibly be there between them, but maybe next time, Mir would be excluded. Being locked in a space wasn't something Mir was going to face in the nearest time in the future. Hell no!

            "I'm sorry, okay." Joon pouted.

            "Well, since you kind of save the precious puppy, so you're forgiven." Seungho joked and smiled when he felt Mir chuckled softly against his shirt.

            "He's the one who started it though." Sanghyun chipped in, pointing accusing finger towards Joon.

            "Yah! You should be helping me! I'm in enough trouble as it is." Joon whined.

            "And you're definitely going to take responsible for our cancelled schedule." GO reminded.

            "NO!"

            "Hush you guys! Mir is sleeping." Seungho hissed, pulling Mir closer against his chest. Poor boy was so frightened before. He would tell the manager to cancel any other schedule for today and let Mir get a full rest.

            But he wasn't going to let this went past. Mir had a problem and it kind of hurt him that Mir didn't share this problem with any of them. Seungho exchanged a look with the other three and smirk. The other three definitely have the same mind as his. Poor Mir going to get scolded by him, nagged by GO and Joon and would be pestered by Sanghyun's endless questions.

            "Sleep while you can, maknae." He whispered to the sleeping maknae, inertly thanking whatever force up there that had saved Mir today when it seemed so hopeless. "When you're awake, we're going to face your fear together, arasso?"

            In his walk down the dreamland, it as if Mir almost heard someone whispering reassurant on how he wasn't alone and that strangely gave Mir new strength and courage. Maybe when he woke up again, he would be able to face his fear.