If the feeling is gone. . .

Camille and Baekhyun are married; bounded by faith. Living the simplest yet, perfect life.  They were happy for as long as she could remember. They laughed even at the simplest thing. Cry, when they were both exhausted. They made love or do cuddles after such a stressful day at work. They watched drama together during free days, arguing about the scene and it was Baekhyun who will shut her up with a kiss.

Camille sure loved it; especially the man she was bounded to. She was so into the euphoria of loving Baekhyun that she forgot the consequences that came along with it: that happiness won’t last long.

And it didn't.

They say love is all unicorns and rainbow. Guess they were wrong.

Its when the vibrant colors became gray then black that it blinds her. The laughters were dying, slowly leaving as silence resonates. ‘Eerie, scary’, she thought. Until silence left, nowhere audible. Living only the sound of a heart ripping, breaking into tiny pieces. Like a shred of glass scattered everywhere.

It’s painful-awfully painful- that it kills her. It felt like lightning piercing through her heart.

Already numb?  No.

Days passed by; Moon and sun replacing each other. Those days should have been enough for her heart to heal. Enough for her to get used of the terrible feeling and yet, the more she escapes, the more it dawns her. Break her. Kill her.

Please don’t pretend that you still loved me. .

Maybe it was Camille’s fault.

Maybe it was her that causes Baekhyun to lose the love he once had for her. Not that Baekhyun is not to be blamed but she thought it was her who started.

Though it’s the fact; she would sometimes found herself asking, wanting answers. Was it really that bad? Was it really annoying? Because she thinks it’s unfair. The result of her behavior towards him is unfair.

Baekhyun is cheating on her; she knew all along. Is it because she’s being too nosy? Is it because she’s being paranoid and jealous? Is it even wrong to feel those? Camille doesn’t know.

What she knew is that, she is Baekhyun’s wife. Not just in paper but also in
the eyes of God and to those who were close to them and yet she doesn’t feel like one now.

Camille is not oblivious when everything that she feared came; crushing through the door of their love.

It was their anniversary when Baekhyun realized he had fallen out of love. He didn’t admit it. He tried to act normal, tried to keep the love but he failed. Until then, that Camille can no longer feel the sincerity in Baekhyun’s I love you’s. That those were just a mere word said to comply with the promise they vowed.

It was Camille’s fault.

“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait for me, okay?” Baekhyun said while fixing his tie, frowning when it won’t cooperate with him.

Camille would be laughing now but she can’t. It just doesn’t sound right. She wanted to stand, go in front of him and help him fix that navy striped necktie-which she had given to him on his last birthday-because that’s what wives do to their husband right? But just as when she was about to move her feet, grow a pair and help, an invisible force makes its way to block her.

Image of Baekhyun’s flings pop out.

There is sadness in her eyes but a bitter smile was on her lips. “Ah, yeah! Okay.” Was all she said, warily listening to her own voice to make sure it doesn’t sound groggy or near to cracking.

Baekhyun hummed as answer, gingerly picking his suit case and walks through the door. He whirled the knob and without even sparing glances at her, he said ‘I love you’ and left.

Camille pursed another bitter smile, slowly letting the tears she was suppressing flow.

I Love You.

Sounds forceful.

If he didn’t mean it, can he keep it to himself? Or just throw those to someone else? Someone much better than a girl who is slowly turning into a living corpse. Because it hurts, it really does kill her.

 I can see it in your eyes. .

  Show me the same smile you once had in your beautiful lips

 Leaving would be the best option if Camille would consider it. But she can’t think of one. She was glued on her spot as she watched Baekhyun from afar. The want to just calm a bit and breathe a fresh air was long forgotten the moment her eyes set to Baekhyun; walking side by side with a lady which she soon found out to be Baekhyun’s first love.

They were holding each other’s hand; looking nothing but in love. As if it was only them in this world. He is happy, it’s written in his eyes. Those eyes that sparkled when it was set on her are now sparkling for someone else; someone not her.

“What happened to us Baekhyun?” she muttered under her breath. Hands fisted into a ball as she controlled the tears that were trying to escape.

‘First love really never dies, huh?’

And it hurts to admit. .

I Love You.

Those words once brought her to ecstasy but now it send her to a pit of darkness where there is sadness and loneliness.

She lifted her hands and stared at the band on her ring finger with a sad smile. From her dead shot eyes, it’s still beautiful. So shiny that even without light to illuminate it, it’s still conspicuous. The ring is a treasure holding too many memories of their almost perfect love story. Too many that she lost count.

Camille remembered how she first met Baekhyun. At school, with his droopy eyes that turned into crescent when he smile and she love it. Maybe it was love at first sight. Baekhyun; Baekhyun in her dictionary is the definition of happiness. He was always laughing, keeps on smiling and he cracks stupid jokes a lot. And from then, Camille had fallen head over heels for him.

They became friends and that’s when her life turned into one hell of a roller coaster ride. Camille thought at that time that it was the best she ever had. Meeting Baekhyun and becoming friends with him. But, contrary to what she thought, the best gift the world had given her is when Baekhyun confessed to her.

“I love you Camille. Can you be mine? I promise to let the love shine above us”

She loved him. Yes, she does. With all of her heart because he is what he is. Well, that’s what she knew. She thinks she know what runs through his mind. In whatever way, it was just her mind messing with her.

Because there is nothing she know.

I can tell the feeling is gone. .

     See me, please?

She wanted to fight for him. Tell th